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Mackfam
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| Posted: Feb 14 2012 at 4:40pm | IP Logged
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This is a spinoff of the main thread discussing the individual sections of a series of Charlotte Mason videos done by Ambleside Schools International.
Chapters 1 - 3
Chapter 1 - The Foundation of Joy
Chapter 2 - How Atmosphere Sets the Affections
Chapter 3 - Cultivating the Atmosphere for Learning
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19 , ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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keac
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| Posted: Feb 18 2012 at 11:29am | IP Logged
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Thought I'd add a few of my notes to jumpstart a conversation.
*Children Are Persons just has such an impact on all that follows when you talk about education.
The Introduction made the point that the child as person, as opposed to product (wax to be molded, blank slate, etc) or demi-god (having already within them all they need to become who they are to be) means, in part, that they have intrinsic capacity and are wired for growth, but need from others "to be loved, informed and supported in growth." Put in another way, they need someone to "inform their ignorance and support their weakness." They are to be "cherished first, cultivated second." CM used the phrase "grow them up" instead of cultivate but the idea is that the child is 1) the one who must do the actual growing; and 2) needs others to inform and be watchful over this growth, to "put them in the way."
So, children as persons means, in part, they need relationship.
*The Nature of the Relationship Sets the Atmosphere
For a child to become all they are intended, they must have the right atmosphere. They need relationships characterized by joy. Joy is a fundamental component of the atmosphere. Joy is "Good to be me here with you" regardless of circumstances. Joy "sets the stage for learning."
*Atmosphere Sets the Affections
Again, since children are persons, certain behaviors of parents/educators are strictly off-limits. We cannot use the force of our own personality to manipulate. Charlotte warns of using "the direct use of fear or love, suggestion or influence, or undue play upon any one natural desire." Instead, she places in the hands of the parent/educator the tools of Atmosphere, Discipline (Habits), and Life (Living Ideas).
So, about the Atmosphere portion: Children have innate desire to explore, learn, and grow but don't already know "what is worth having and what is not worth having; what's desirable and what's not desirable." They look to and are informed by the company they keep---the atmosphere. "Our affections are set by the community we are with." They are keen noticers of "what is being lifted up here?"
We can build on a foundation of joy an atmosphere that reflects the "true, good and beautiful."
How we work, how we handle conflict, how we relate to one another, what's acceptable, what's "lifted up" are communicated through the atmosphere and can be "caught" by those around us. What we value is communicated to be "valuable" and what we deem desirable of our time, effort and attention will likewise be communicated as "desirable." Important to keep in mind that atmosphere is "caught" more than taught; it comes not so much from our words, but from our actions.
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I came away very convicted of a need for an Atmosphere Adjustment!! And that the very things that I am finding less than what I'd like in our home/homeschool have their very roots in the Atmosphere I set. Oh my!! I don't need another program or better chore chart (although, sometimes that is necessary!) Much, much to consider!!
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Karen in Kansas City
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stellamaris
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keac wrote:
| I came away very convicted of a need for an Atmosphere Adjustment!! And that the very things that I am finding less than what I'd like in our home/homeschool have their very roots in the Atmosphere I set. Oh my!! I don't need another program or better chore chart (although, sometimes that is necessary!) Much, much to consider!! |
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Karen, I am right there with you. The challenge of consistently creating a joyful, positive atmosphere is one of the hardest. I, too, have been spending quite a bit of time thinking about that phrase, "It's good to be me here with you." I'm sure I don't always feel this way, or convey this to my children. Sometimes, truth be told, I am thinking, "The last place I want to be is here with you. I want to be me somewhere else with just me!  " God is challenging me on this front especially lately with my special needs ds. And I think it is especially difficult for me because of the LONG years of homeschooling and parenting that have been my life.
As I listened to these videos, I was even more convicted of the need to allow the Holy Spirit to work in my life to bring forth that fruit of joy. I really don't think this is something we can do without the grace of the Lord. But it is a point for a daily examen, especially as Lent approaches. So I am asking myself:
1. What is my attitude today? What am I feeling with regard to my relationship to my children, especially in the "school" areas? I feel it is important to identify where I'm at and what I am actually feeling before I can change it.
2. Why do I have this attitude? This would cover thinking about physical contributions to attitude like getting enough sleep, regular eating, etc. Also, am I cherishing a resentful attitude (well, I don't know about you, but sometimes I do cling to my bad attitudes...really!  ) Am I willing to do what is necessary to change? If not, there's my spiritual challenge right there!
3. Have I had recourse to prayer?
4. Have I taken time for contemplation, silence, and restoration of my own inner life, or have I let the demands of life completely overwhelm me?
On the second topic, using our role to manipulate our children, I see this as a really serious problem for homeschooling families. I have spent years trying to achieve a proper sense of my children as separate persons. They are NOT me, their achievements are their own, as are their failures. It is difficult not to mix up correction of faults with withholding of affection, especially in the turbulent teen years. I appreciated the perspective of setting the atmosphere of the community, but not playing unduly on the children's emotions/needs to coerce behavior. So, here, I'm asking myself: What is the atmosphere in my home? What is the atmosphere during our "school" time vs. "family" time (not that there's a big divide, but some)? What atmosphere do I want? How to achieve that? What is our "community" communicating about our values?
Lastly, focusing on the "good, the true, the beautiful" is a daily challenge. We can desire these things, but sometimes reality steps in and we can not always have our homes as lovely or peaceful as we would like. The questions I ask myself here are: What CAN I do to make the physical atmosphere more lovely? Classical music, art on walls, getting rid of clutter, I'm even thinking of completely locking down the TV again (we only have a Wii on it, but still it is  ). Maybe introducing more moments of prayer throughout the day...just short moments. I find it difficult to encourage my children to keep this standard in their work as well, so I'm thinking about that and hope to get more ideas when the videos discuss "habits". Then, too, what about the "unseen" atmosphere? This gets me back to the whole challenges of creating an "It's good to be me here with you" quality in our home.
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In Christ,
Caroline
Wife to dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
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keac
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Caroline, a big Yes!
Thank-you for taking it to the next level---the applicable and practical. What can we do to evaluate and offer the atmosphere we esteem?
Great, great food for thought!
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Karen in Kansas City
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SuzanneG
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Since listening to this, I've often found myself pretending like I'm asking this question to my kids:
Do you think it's good to be you here with me?"
A variation of his question: "Is it good to be me here with you?"
As Caroline and Karen stated above, it really hits home our role and our constant need to WATCH our attitude and actions. Loved Caroline's 1-2-3-4 points.
Quote:
Joy does not mean happiness!
In fact it's very very important for a child to learn how to walk through adversity with joy.
Joy is: "It's good to be me here with you." |
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Linking a good discussion from AGES ago! It was from 2005....can't believe it's been almost 7 years since this thread! Motherhood and Choosing Joy Many of the same points are mentioned.
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Suzanne in ID
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Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)
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CrunchyMom
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Thank you for bumping this, Suzanne!
I have been having some serious conversations with dh about our goals for our home life, and today, that quote is what I needed to hear.
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
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[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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Maggie
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I LOVE what the head of the school has to say about an atmostphere of JOY. This has me pondering a lot lately since the last 3 years around here have been stressful...(miscarriages and secondary infertility)...
Also, I LOVE that he says they do not tolerate UNKINDNESS. That blew me away. It is very much the norm at our local schools...and is kind of seen as something that "toughens" kids up...
What I was really waiting for was how they discipline...how do they enforce NOT tolerating unkindness?
Anyone know?
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CrunchyMom
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Maggie, I got the impression they do it the same way that I do it at home. Most of the time, the discipline is simply through correction rather than punitive in nature.
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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ShannonJ
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Maggie wrote:
| I LOVE what the head of the school has to say about an atmostphere of JOY. |
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The thought that there is joy during times of strife, during the times we are working hard, as well as times of happiness had me in deep though today. I keep thinking back to the first couple of years after I stopped working to stay home. I knew that I was being called to do this, but it was such a HUGE change that I struggled with what I would have described as joy. Now that I look back, I would have to say that I had joy in my heart, for I knew that I was doing what I was called to do. It was a struggle, but one that I did with inward joy as I tried to attain PEACE to achieve the outward HAPPINESS to match my inward JOY. Hmmmm, perhaps none of that made any sense. 
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Mom of dd 12, ds 9, & dd 5
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Maggie
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ShannonJ wrote:
Maggie wrote:
| I LOVE what the head of the school has to say about an atmostphere of JOY. |
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The thought that there is joy during times of strife, during the times we are working hard, as well as times of happiness had me in deep though today. I keep thinking back to the first couple of years after I stopped working to stay home. I knew that I was being called to do this, but it was such a HUGE change that I struggled with what I would have described as joy. Now that I look back, I would have to say that I had joy in my heart, for I knew that I was doing what I was called to do. It was a struggle, but one that I did with inward joy as I tried to attain PEACE to achieve the outward HAPPINESS to match
my inward JOY. Hmmmm, perhaps none of that made any sense. |
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Shannon, can you elaborate on this? I feel the same way right now. But if it isnot too much, could you share more of the details?
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Wife to dh (12 years) Mama to dd (10) ds (8), dd (1), ds (nb) and to Philip Mary (5/26/09), Lucy Joy (12/6/09), and Margaret Mary (3/6/10) who entered Heaven before we had a chance to hold them.
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ShannonJ
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Maggie wrote:
ShannonJ wrote:
Maggie wrote:
| I LOVE what the head of the school has to say about an atmostphere of JOY. |
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The thought that there is joy during times of strife, during the times we are working hard, as well as times of happiness had me in deep though today. I keep thinking back to the first couple of years after I stopped working to stay home. I knew that I was being called to do this, but it was such a HUGE change that I struggled with what I would have described as joy. Now that I look back, I would have to say that I had joy in my heart, for I knew that I was doing what I was called to do. It was a struggle, but one that I did with inward joy as I tried to attain PEACE to achieve the outward HAPPINESS to match
my inward JOY. Hmmmm, perhaps none of that made any sense. |
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Shannon, can you elaborate on this? I feel the same way right now. But if it isnot too much, could you share more of the details? |
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Let me see, Maggie, I'm not quite sure how to explain it, but I'll do my best. My first daughter was right at 18 months old when I was able to stay at home. It was something that I was really looking forward to, but I think that I had a "ideal motherhood" picture in my mind that I expected to meet. I didn't factor in the withdrawal from being able to talk to big people during the day, and I didn't meet my own expectations as a stay at home mom. I always fell short in my own eyes.
The JOURNEY of transitioning from what I expected to be to the role of a mother and support for my husband as God chose for me was frustrating and played on my outward emotions. But knowing that I was doing what was right, in accepting the call to stay at home, I was very joyful during the journey.
One of my biggest obstacles was also one of the things that I denied the most. I had some hidden resentment that I was giving up on the possibilities of other "dreams" that I had. It wasn't that I wanted them more than I wanted to be a stay at home mom. It was that I didn't have the option to be able to do those things any more. This would be the one thing that would play on that joy, pull it down, and threaten to stomp it out. I knew that to do this, it would be rocky at times, and by ultimately following that joyful calling I could achieve the happiness that I sought.
Today I see joy in the day-to-day struggles. Knowing that if I can persevere through each day with peace in my heart, peace that I am doing what I am called to do, I will be joyful in my life. This frequently requires a few beseeching prayers asking if this is truly what He wants.
I am most definitely not a bubbly-social-happy person, but usually quite introspective and quiet. So, as I frequently explain to my (quite the opposite) husband, "Just 'cause I'm not smiling doesn't mean I'm not happy." 
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~Shannon
Mom of dd 12, ds 9, & dd 5
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: Ambleside Schools Videos - Ch 1 - 3
