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Connections Forum Pro
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Posted: Aug 30 2011 at 6:26pm | IP Logged
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I am beginning to realize that it is a lot easier to think about, plan and talk about homeschooling than it is to actually do it.
Anyone else come to that conclusion?
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JodieLyn Forum Moderator
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Posted: Aug 30 2011 at 6:29pm | IP Logged
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Definately.
So pick the areas that are easy for you to make sure you get to.. and take the ones that are harder and put them together.. or some other ways to make them easier. It was a HUGE thing here when I figured out my kids LOVE doing math workbooks.. no guilt and it's easy peasy for me to manage it with them because they WANT to get their math out.
__________________ Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Elena Forum All-Star
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Posted: Aug 30 2011 at 8:27pm | IP Logged
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yea, it's a lot like losing weight in that regard!
__________________ Elena
Wife to Peter, mom of many!
My Domestic Church
One Day at a Time
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guitarnan Forum Moderator
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Posted: Aug 30 2011 at 8:43pm | IP Logged
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But it's so worth it!
Ten years into this journey, I can still remember our very first months...living in Italy, pretty much forced into homeschooling by our circumstances. I was very worried. But...I got more hugs from my son (grade 5 at the time) that first quarter than I'd received in the previous year...and he had more friends than he'd ever had in school...and my precocious dd (4) was tearing through Kindergarten work. And we had time to visit Italian artisans' studios and explore the country (and eat!) and work around my husband's zany work schedule. Challenging...yes, for sure...but completely worth it.
__________________ Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Kathryn Forum All-Star
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Posted: Aug 30 2011 at 8:52pm | IP Logged
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Uhhh...YEH! Implementation is by far the hardest for me!
__________________ Kathryn in TX
(dd 16, ds 15, dd 8, dd 5)
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10 Bright Stars Forum All-Star
Joined: Nov 16 2006 Location: Virginia
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Posted: Aug 30 2011 at 9:07pm | IP Logged
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Ah, yeah. It always goes much better in my head, there are no diaper changes, babies that are cranky, children that are not having a good day, lunch that has to be made etc. when I am planning this or that and it all fits together like magic. Remember that homeschooling is a lifestyle, a journey, and really a school for saints, and that means us too! Part of this process is not to just get all of the school checked off and done, but to sort of approach it from a "Little Way" perspective. Can I keep my peace while trying to teach my child their times tables for the 50th time? What will REALLY matter and what will we want to think back on and remember. Will we be a close family from this experience in 10 or 20 years from now, or will we have strained relationships because we worried too much about this or that? Do I actually enjoy my time and this gift, this moment in time with my children, or am I an overwhelmed wreck? All things I struggle with and ponder and pray about in this journey. We are all so truly blessed though! So blessed to be at home with our children, to guide their little hearts and minds, and to plan what will go into those little hearts and minds. I admit to very often taking all of it for granted. And, what a blessing to have met all of YOU all who actually care about what each other is doing in this walk together. So, I couldn't agree more with you. Give your plans a lot of stretching room and it will be fine.
__________________ Kim married to Bob (22y)
Mom of 11 blessings:
Bobby 19, David 17, Noah 14,
Mary 12, Gracie 10,
Isabelle and Sophia 8,
Gabrielle 6,
William Anthony 4, Joseph 3 and Luisa Marie - born in M
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10 Bright Stars Forum All-Star
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Posted: Aug 30 2011 at 9:19pm | IP Logged
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It's funny. I was just talking to my husband earlier this morning about how my personality has been extremely challenged by my unexpected vocation and life! I was sort of an only child in that my younger brother was 4 years younger, and we were really never encouraged to play together. I played mainly in my own room and definately in my own head until my parents divorce when I was 10 when frankly, my childhood sort of ended.
Anyway, I tend to be able to focus really well on ONE task in ONE area. I am having SUCH difficulty stretching and growing into multi-tasking, raising such a large family, when my model was one of a working mother, and I truly struggle with feeling like a failure most days because if I do one little thing sort of well, a lot of other things are NOT getting done well. My husband is SO MUCH BETTER at managing the bigger picture, juggling many things at once. Even my 10 year old daughter, being raised in a large family I guess and who is strangely gifted in the areas of being a nurturer and a natural born homemaker, seems to outdo me already and seemingly effortlessly, with a spring in her step and joy in her heart she goes about doing this and that, and I ponder at my own weaknesses, but delight that she has been so blessed in the quiet of my heart and thank the Lord for her daily!! So, yes, planning has always been a major side-tracker for me since it IS something that can be controlled, something that can be successful etc. Implementation is a WHOLE different ballgame and requires an entirely different skillset, I think. Is there anyone who can offer advice on taking the plans and EFFECTIVELY getting them out into the real world? I always struggle with this. I tend to be the "idea" person at our house. I always have good ideas but my husband is the "doer". He will go out and DO these great ideas, as does my daughter. I tend to think about things too much! So, I think personality can play a role in this too, perhaps different temperments have different strengths and weaknesses as homeschoolers.
__________________ Kim married to Bob (22y)
Mom of 11 blessings:
Bobby 19, David 17, Noah 14,
Mary 12, Gracie 10,
Isabelle and Sophia 8,
Gabrielle 6,
William Anthony 4, Joseph 3 and Luisa Marie - born in M
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Mackfam Board Moderator
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Posted: Aug 30 2011 at 9:47pm | IP Logged
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10 Bright Stars wrote:
I think personality can play a role in this too, perhaps different temperments have different strengths and weaknesses as homeschoolers. |
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Oh, I definitely think this is true, Kim! I enjoy planning and considering -- weighing and evaluating -- researching and hunting -- AND -- implementing and observing!! And, I would say that my temperament probably has a lot to do with that.
This is one of those reasons that it's so important not to idealize any one person in home education (because where one person struggles may not be where you struggle or need to exercise discipline, but trust me, we must all exercise discipline somewhere!!). Rather, it is good to enjoy gathering ideas or inspiration and then translating those in ways that are most intuitive for you! Each unique temperament is going to lend itself to this vocation with particular strengths, and each person is going to find ways in which God is stretching them, asking them to grow, in and through their temperaments, and sometimes (many times) well outside of our comfort zone.
In truth, I don't find *the doing* difficult at all, but really very rewarding, but that has only come after several years of doing this, and with God's grace, the gift of relaxing into my own shoes and trusting that God's grace will always be bigger than my weaknesses and that He will give me the grace to: overcome weakness, brainstorm challenges, answer needs, dig deeply in discipline, grow in holiness, stretch-stretch-stretch. I've made some whoppers of mistakes along the way in this vocation - whoppers!!! Through it all God has shown me how resilient and forgiving both He and my children can be, and I've learned to not sweat the small stuff so much! I've learned that the children can be responsible for much of the living out of their education and that takes pressure off me! This isn't all hinging on me! I stay active, alongside, prayerful and try to be diligent and efficient in the planning and the *doing/living out*. I work with my whole heart, and surrender the rest to Him. The children let me know in brilliant and often stark ways where I need to stretch. Everyday is another opportunity for me to grow in holiness, and that's exactly what I want, to be a saint at the end of all this!
__________________ Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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lapazfarm Forum All-Star
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Posted: Aug 30 2011 at 10:56pm | IP Logged
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Oh, if I could *only* homeschool,and nothing else, life would be so easy! For me, it's the other stuff that makes it hard--cooking, cleaning, endless laundry, behavior issues with my *lovely* grandchildren, paying bills, blah, blah, blah...if only I had the luxury of just sitting on the couch with a child and a good book.*sigh*
We all have our challenges.
__________________ Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
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motherheart Forum Rookie
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Posted: Aug 30 2011 at 11:05pm | IP Logged
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Hi Tracey,
Thank you for starting this thread. It is EXACTALLY what I need to read right now.
ditto
ditto
ditto
:) Mary
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MommyMahung Forum Rookie
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Posted: Aug 31 2011 at 6:49am | IP Logged
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I ditto what Mary said! Reading all of this has helped me too!
Thanks for sharing everyone!
Laura
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CrunchyMom Forum Moderator
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Posted: Aug 31 2011 at 8:07am | IP Logged
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Mackfam wrote:
10 Bright Stars wrote:
I think personality can play a role in this too, perhaps different temperments have different strengths and weaknesses as homeschoolers. |
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Oh, I definitely think this is true, Kim! I enjoy planning and considering -- weighing and evaluating -- researching and hunting -- AND -- implementing and observing!! And, I would say that my temperament probably has a lot to do with that.
This is one of those reasons that it's so important not to idealize any one person in home education (because where one person struggles may not be where you struggle or need to exercise discipline, but trust me, we must all exercise discipline somewhere!!). Rather, it is good to enjoy gathering ideas or inspiration and then translating those in ways that are most intuitive for you! Each unique temperament is going to lend itself to this vocation with particular strengths, and each person is going to find ways in which God is stretching them, asking them to grow, in and through their temperaments, and sometimes (many times) well outside of our comfort zone.
In truth, I don't find *the doing* difficult at all, but really very rewarding, but that has only come after several years of doing this, and with God's grace, the gift of relaxing into my own shoes and trusting that God's grace will always be bigger than my weaknesses and that He will give me the grace to: overcome weakness, brainstorm challenges, answer needs, dig deeply in discipline, grow in holiness, stretch-stretch-stretch. I've made some whoppers of mistakes along the way in this vocation - whoppers!!! Through it all God has shown me how resilient and forgiving both He and my children can be, and I've learned to not sweat the small stuff so much! I've learned that the children can be responsible for much of the living out of their education and that takes pressure off me! This isn't all hinging on me! I stay active, alongside, prayerful and try to be diligent and efficient in the planning and the *doing/living out*. I work with my whole heart, and surrender the rest to Him. The children let me know in brilliant and often stark ways where I need to stretch. Everyday is another opportunity for me to grow in holiness, and that's exactly what I want, to be a saint at the end of all this! |
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Ooh, ooh! I want to hear about Jen's whoppers
Seriously, it is more fun to talk about and plan ANYTHING than it is to do it, especially with small children...
...she says as she lies here trying to get the baby down for a morning nap as she watches her time table tick away
Somehow the six month old hasn't figured out that he's supposed to be asleep already and not need me for another hour.
__________________ Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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kristinannie Forum All-Star
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Posted: Aug 31 2011 at 9:01am | IP Logged
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Elena wrote:
yea, it's a lot like losing weight in that regard! |
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I do have a lot of fun planning, but I actually have a lot more fun doing school. It has been a little bit of a struggle for me this year because DS5 didn't look at me as a teacher. He needed a little attitude adjustment. We also had a little trouble finding curricula that worked for us. Challenges arise often, but overall I find it very rewarding. It always keeps me on my toes and I am never bored!
__________________ John Paul 8.5
Meredith Rose 7
Dominic Michael 4.5
Katherine Elizabeth 8 months
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Tina P. Forum All-Star
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Posted: Aug 31 2011 at 9:31am | IP Logged
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Mackfam wrote:
Oh, I definitely think this is true, Kim! I enjoy planning and considering -- weighing and evaluating -- researching and hunting -- AND -- implementing and observing!! ... The children let me know in brilliant and often stark ways where I need to stretch. Everyday is another opportunity for me to grow in holiness, and that's exactly what I want, to be a saint at the end of all this! |
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Thank you, Jen. I soooo needed this cyber-hug this morning! It encourages me to do better with my kids! They *are* forgiving, aren't they?
__________________ Tina, wife to one and mom to 9 + 3 in heaven
Mary's Muse
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Mackfam Board Moderator
Non Nobis
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Posted: Aug 31 2011 at 9:41am | IP Logged
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Tina P. wrote:
Mackfam wrote:
Oh, I definitely think this is true, Kim! I enjoy planning and considering -- weighing and evaluating -- researching and hunting -- AND -- implementing and observing!! ... The children let me know in brilliant and often stark ways where I need to stretch. Everyday is another opportunity for me to grow in holiness, and that's exactly what I want, to be a saint at the end of all this! |
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Thank you, Jen. I soooo needed this cyber-hug this morning! It encourages me to do better with my kids! They *are* forgiving, aren't they? |
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Tina!
St. John Bosco tells us to work wholeheartedly, my friend! I can try to do that, work with my whole heart, whether I'm being gentle on myself and cutting myself some slack one morning, or working to exercise more discipline with my stewarding of time. Each day brings its own mysteries; I try to answer them with a wholehearted yes just like Our Lady did. There are always days I fall short. Thanks be to God that tomorrow is fresh and new!!
Tina! With my whole heart, I pray your day is a delight!
__________________ Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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kristacecilia Forum All-Star
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Posted: Aug 31 2011 at 1:04pm | IP Logged
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Yes. I am very good and researching, purchasing, and making spreadsheets. I am just now becoming reliable about implementation. I am sure it is something I will always struggle with, although I hope it gets easier with practice.
__________________ God bless,
Krista
Wife to a great guy, mom to two boys ('04, '06) and three girls ('08, '10, '12!)
I blog at http://kristacecilia.wordpress.com/
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mamaslearning Forum All-Star
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Posted: Aug 31 2011 at 3:56pm | IP Logged
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lapazfarm wrote:
Oh, if I could *only* homeschool,and nothing else, life would be so easy! For me, it's the other stuff that makes it hard--cooking, cleaning, endless laundry, behavior issues with my *lovely* grandchildren, paying bills, blah, blah, blah...if only I had the luxury of just sitting on the couch with a child and a good book.*sigh*
We all have our challenges. |
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Yes! ITA!
10 Bright Stars wrote:
So, yes, planning has always been a major side-tracker for me since it IS something that can be controlled, something that can be successful etc. Implementation is a WHOLE different ballgame and requires an entirely different skillset, I think. |
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This really struck me as I was reading. I LOVE planning and fail miserably at implementing, always have. I just never really connected the planning stage with my need to control. Planning and ideas are easily controlled and give me a sense of accomplishment. Finally choosing a book for science, WHAT AN ACCOMPLISHMENT! Barely surviving a day with little ones, diaper changes, mealtimes, spills, accidents, laundry, unexpected deviations, tears over math, etc, etc. does not feel like an accomplishment. It's more like merely surviving.
__________________ Lara
DD 11, DS 8, DS 6, DS 4
St. Francis de Sales Homeschool
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10 Bright Stars Forum All-Star
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Posted: Aug 31 2011 at 10:01pm | IP Logged
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It is an accomplishment though Lara. Don't ever forget that! Every act you do is an act of love, and you spend all that time researching, like most of us do, because you care! We aren't "trained" for this per se. When I used to work, I received 8 weeks of paid training before I went on the floor, and then, I had a supervisor who oversaw everything I did until I could confidently spread my wings and I trusted myself and the corporation could trust that I would respresent them effectively. Not so with homeschooling. It sometimes feels like flailing about in the dark! God is surely there with us in this, but He doesn't show up for coffee one morning to let us know we are on the right track. We don't know ALL of the ins and outs of our children; there are still "mysteries" as someone else mentioned. Different ages, stages etc. What does our husband expect? That can be a challenge at times. Also, due to our OWN temperments, what sort of temperments did our marriage pair-up make in our children? Sometimes there can be child with a difficult temperment that seems to sap the joy out of living some days, but I still LOVE that child, and God knew that for some reason, I was the right Mom for him, even when the day seems horrible, or because of personality conflicts, we didn't get much accomplished "in the eyes of the world", and even more importantly, "in the eyes of OUR OWN JUDGEMENT." I" have certain expectations for how I want things to go. So "I" spend a lot of time planning. "I" am in charge of this and that. "I" order all of the books. "I" have a master plan for how I "expect" things to go. See all the "I"s? When God sends me the child with a full diaper, and I feel annoyed at the interuption, I am not doing my best. When the children are having discipline issues and I holler and shoo them out of the school area, I am not doing what God is asking of me at that moment.
It has really become difficult for me as of late with homeschooling and just life in general a large family. Just going to the grocery store to feed so many is exhausting, and to be honest, I even sometimes feel embarrased. I also sometimes feel bad for my oldest son who goes with me. I think, "How sad that he has to cart around all these milks and a gazillion loaves of bread, and he asks me occassionaly "where are all the other kids?" since there never seems to be any out and about when we go shopping. But, when I think back to what kind of a teen-ager I was at his age, I marvel at how mature and kind he is.
I also have a very high needs baby who nurses all the time and requires several hours at a stretch it seems to be somewhat satisfied. (I think I am getting old and I have started supplementing a little since he is little and must need more...) Anyway, I kept thinking, "How does God expect me to homeschool 10 children (7 require actual schooling, the other 3 mothering)? Well, he doesn't. He is calling me to do my best because this task IS a task that only God can help with. And, as soon as we think WE are doing it all, then I think that is where we start to fail. (I am not saying you are doing this, but I sure do!)
This week has been a real grace filled week for me. I felt so hopeless here lately. Just when I thought there was no exit or hope, God has sent little gifts and moments of grace and I was ashamed I had doubted that He cared etc. You are a mother first, THEN a homeschooler. If your mothering takes most of your day, you have "chosen the better portion". This does not mean we don't have to take homeschooling seriously! But, there are seasons in life. When there are littles in the house, they are the greater good I think. I remember when my twins were born I thought I had to keep going with school. My MIL even offered to do school each day with my oldest, who was really the only one who required a lot of book work at that particular time. If I could go back in time, I would have given the other readers a good stack of books to read, and required them to do religion and math each day, and then I would have gone and played with my twins and probably stayed much more sane and have more happy memories.
I could go on, but dont' get discouraged!! I think that is a homeschool mom's greatest temptation; to think this job is too big for us and to give into despair! Remember that God is in it. The sacrament of marriage promises that God will give us this grace! And, yes, it IS survival! It is LIFE! My husband AND his sister, oddly enough who have an uncanny way of saying the same thing although they rarely talk, BOTH said to me, "Well, your life isn't as bad as someone who had to survive in a POW camp, or things like that. I think we tend to be SO focused on being at home, that we can lose perspective and feel as if everything is going wrong, when really, we have a strange gift from God. To be able to raise our little ones, form them, and love them.
Planning is fun! Enjoy this! But, when they don't go the way we want them to, keep in mind that God is over you, just like we know that it is NOT a good idea for a kid to eat ice cream before dinner, although that SEEMS like a good plan to them, WE know a better way, and so does God. He can see into the future and ALL the little implications of each and every thought and decision we make. Sometimes, what we think is NOT the best way, and out of love, He corrects it for us.
We are all in this together! What an interesting generation we have to look forward to in a decade or so!!
__________________ Kim married to Bob (22y)
Mom of 11 blessings:
Bobby 19, David 17, Noah 14,
Mary 12, Gracie 10,
Isabelle and Sophia 8,
Gabrielle 6,
William Anthony 4, Joseph 3 and Luisa Marie - born in M
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AmandaV Forum All-Star
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Posted: Sept 01 2011 at 11:18am | IP Logged
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Thank you for that post Kim. I am just about to "formally " start our year with a 2nd, K, twin 3 year old and a 7 week old and I'm a bit nervous. You reminded me to keep my priorities straight.
And as the the original post, yes! Planning is so much easier. Although I have trouble getting to the detailed nitty gritty plan, probably because I'm afraid it won't work out.
__________________ Amanda
wife since 6/03, Mom to son 7/04, daughter 2/06, twin sons 6/08 and son 7/11, son 1/2014
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CelesteMary Forum Rookie
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Posted: Sept 01 2011 at 8:23pm | IP Logged
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I needed this post as well! Starting the "school year" to my oldest wanting to go to public school, not good. I prayed about it and decided it is s season we all must go through at one time or another.
Perseverance. Something God has given us as a grace in this journey and though it is different than the original post, planning and not implementing, I feel like it all ties together.
Homeschooling being a lifestyle is just that, there is good and beauty and challenges as well.
Because we are doing what we believe to be God's will for our family and children and are trying to do our very best, even if our very best if just getting out of bed and getting the meals together that day, I am sure God's grace will shine upon us. He knows what we need when we need it. We must remember that He is here in it all. We sit in our circumstance, and He sees the big picture and must be smiling down upon us.
God bless to you ladies, and thanks for your hearts. It helps me so much.
__________________ Wife to Jeff, mother to Abigail 00, Thomas 02, Elizabeth 03, Charles 05,Amelia 07, Laura & Walter 09, Annie 11, one Angel in Heaven 2013,baby Maria Rose due 4/26/15.
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