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Willa
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| Posted: Jan 15 2006 at 2:57pm | IP Logged
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As most of you probably know, I've spent the past 6 months "deschooling". I called it a sabbatical so I wouldn't get too stressed about what we HAVEN'T been doing.
But now that I have to decide where to go from here, I'm feeling that I'm at a crossroads. I don't think it helped that Aidan ended up in the hospital -- which resets me to my mode of wanting to take control of schooling, since other parts of life are not under my control.
I found this article on Deschooling which seemed helpful for what I'm dealing with. But can you give me any advice on how to get past what feels like a "slump" to me, and move forward without losing what I've gained in the past few months?
Here's a nice blog post that puts into words some of the things I think I've gained: Undeniable Truths
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Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
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Cay Gibson
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| Posted: Jan 15 2006 at 3:37pm | IP Logged
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WJFR wrote:
I found this article on Deschooling which seemed helpful for what I'm dealing with. [/URL]
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Willa,
Not to sidetrack the discussion (and I'm looking forward to reading this whole article), but it's the second time I've seen reference to Zen in two days.
Yesterday I was at the store and saw a Zen Garden pretty much like this one. I inspected it with the girls in mind then put it back because I didn't know where the "Zen" mindframe leads to.  Is it Budda-istic?
I also thought the idea of "gardening" with sand and rocks contrite... and figured the little rock garden would just end up in my driveway or in the dirt mound.  Basically we already have the large scale Zen garden in our yard. 
Even after a year and a half study of China with Chelsea, I had never heard of Zen.
Sorry to bring this up, but when I saw the name again it made me even more curious. Basically, my question is, would a Zen garden be alright for little Catholic girls to construct and play with?
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"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
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Leonie
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| Posted: Jan 15 2006 at 4:51pm | IP Logged
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Willa,
I find the blues come with any sort of homeschool method, after any period of problems, with any decision of which I am unsure.
Just trying to point out that this may not be unschooling blues per se, but more a general malaise.
I know that one way people get out of this sort of funk is by planning - more school, more routines - gives one a sense of control.
I used to do this, then I realised that I used the planning and routines as painkillers to mask the real reason behind the funk.
Which is not to say that we never plan or don't have any routines, but I *do try to use these as tools and not bandaids.
I decided to spend the time I would spend on planning a super duper unit, into time being attentive to my family and their needs. Having fun together and getting a sense of what the kids and dh want and need right now.
Sometimes, the slump makes me think it is all about me, but its not - others in the family may be seeing things differently or may have a different idea/solution. Even littlies - their call to "play with me, mummy" could be a clarion call - this is what I should be doing.
What also helps me is to do some rearranging. It may be mental - sortng my ideas onto paper.
It may be a spiritual rearranging - some reflection time in prayer. This is what I need right now, after some hurtful comments from my parish.
Often, a physical rearranging works well - on the weekend, we re-organised our stationery/art trolley and our journalling nook. Now, I am inspired to encourage more journalling and more art again - Anthony spent yesterday with one of the drawing books and the new pencils.
The One Thing philosophy may help, too - figure out one thing you would add to the children's day or week and add that in, rather than adding in a full blown unit or school schedule.What is the one thing you think they need, or individual children need?
Perhaps it will be nature study on Mondays or art and music on Fridays, a writing project to work on one or two times a week, that sort of thing.
Hope there is something here that helps. Take it easy on yourself, you have been through a difficult time with Aidan recently.
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Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
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Leonie
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| Posted: Jan 15 2006 at 7:08pm | IP Logged
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Oh, I also didn't mean to imply that your choice or decision has to be unschooling. If doing school more seems to be what all need - go for it!
I realised that my post came across pro unschooling when I meant it to be pro reflecting on real needs and pro positive action.
ETA: I think I need to go and read the links you suggested!
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Rachel May
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| Posted: Jan 15 2006 at 8:17pm | IP Logged
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Cay,
I found this info on Zen Gardens and the homepage has some easy to read info on Zen Buddhism. I would think that a Zen garden would be as acceptable as practicing yoga for Catholics. You just have to be mindful of how much of their philosophy you put in. I have always found the Zen gardens in stores very soothing, myself. Hope that was helpful without distracting the thread!
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Thomas and Anthony (10), Maria (8), Charles (6), Cecilia (5), James (3), and Joseph (1)
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Willa
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| Posted: Jan 16 2006 at 12:14am | IP Logged
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Leonie wrote:
I find the blues come with any sort of homeschool method, after any period of problems, with any decision of which I am unsure. Just trying to point out that this may not be unschooling blues per se, but more a general malaise.
I know that one way people get out of this sort of funk is by planning - more school, more routines - gives one a sense of control.
I used to do this, then I realised that I used the planning and routines as painkillers to mask the real reason behind the funk. |
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Leonie,
I feel like this is it exactly. Your whole post "rang" with me. And don't apologize for talking about it from an unschooling perspective, because that's why I asked on this forum. As I wrote, my immediate inclination was/is to start "fixing" the problem, but I also felt that scrambling for control that way would be a power move, and not really help.
I am also aware that I overprocess a bit especially when I'm anxious or feeling down.
After reading your post and also the What should 4yo's know? articles and links, I think what I saw was that I had been shutting out the kids a bit too much. It happens every time I'm stressed; other people cry and talk, and I bury myself in writing or in a book. Processing, I guess.
So I spent dinner and after-dinner just talking and keying into DH and kids. Funny thing, they picked up right away that I was reachable again and came up in turns to talk to me, and talk, and talk, especially the older ones. So wonderful to just sit and hear cinematic discussions and sing musical standards and listen to long football histories and critiques of players. We made icecream... anyway, I feel so much better now.
Thanks! I guess my stress level, plus feeling inadequate and drained, made me start reaching for solutions. Very interesting.... I'll have to remember that. I had been reading Elizabeth's book and I noticed the difference after I "let go" in how I read it -- suddenly I went from feeling wistful and overwhelmed as I read, to being excited and inspired.
I think you made a good point that routines and structure are not bad, but sometimes they can become a sort of barrier, if you grab onto them for the wrong reasons. That's what I didn't want to happen. I've noticed that I've built up some good routines during this autumn season just because they were good things to have, so I didn't want to start depending on them as a sort of false security thing. Hope that made sense.
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Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
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Leonie
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| Posted: Jan 18 2006 at 1:03am | IP Logged
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WJFR wrote:
| , I think what I saw was that I had been shutting out the kids a bit too much. It happens every time I'm stressed; other people cry and talk, and I bury myself in writing or in a book. |
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I eat! 
I am glad you had a great evening - how are your thoughts today?
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Willa
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| Posted: Jan 18 2006 at 1:15am | IP Logged
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Eating works for me too 
I feel lots better, after yesterday, talking to an unschooling friend on the phone, and today, getting our dreaded dentist appointment over with. Whew! My daughter even got a homeschool compliment.
After reading your 4yo link and thinking a bit and talking with my friend, I have some ideas for getting more involved with the kids without pushing them into things.
I seem to come to this board to express my anxieties; I have a harder time describing what's going right! Thanks for supporting me... I'll try to update when I have something positive to say
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Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
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Cay Gibson
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| Posted: Jan 18 2006 at 2:28am | IP Logged
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WJFR wrote:
I seem to come to this board to express my anxieties; I have a harder time describing what's going right! Thanks for supporting me... I'll try to update when I have something positive to say |
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I always find your words uplifting and inspiring, Willa. 
I have thoroughly enjoyed you blog lately. I'm digesting it in snatches.
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Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
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Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: Unschooling Blues?
