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Connections
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| Posted: Nov 17 2008 at 8:18pm | IP Logged
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Many wiser women have warned about the need to take inspiration from others and apply it to one's own family, in one's own way.
To read blogs and posts and books and listen to CD's for inspiration- not a blue print- and make it your own seems so logical.
So, why did I spin my wheels for so long looking for a blue print? Why did I read about great craft ideas and learning opportunities and fret about how to recreate the EXACT SAME experience in my home?
And, now that I seem comfortable making it my own, will I find myself looking for blue prints again along the way (perhaps for middle school or high school or math)?
How do you avoid this trap and maintain confidence in making it your own?
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Blessings,
Tracey
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Nov 17 2008 at 8:49pm | IP Logged
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Don't implement anything *right now*.
By that I mean, I'll read about something and then let it "stew in my brains" for a while.. what I remember is generally what I like and can integrate. At that point when I have my own idea of using the information.. I might go back and reread it for more clear instructions or for a few points but I already have an idea of my own on how I'd use something.
And I'm generally pretty good about looking at something and saying.. won't happen here. 
One simple thing that's like that is the "fly lady" stuff.. it might sound interesting but as soon as the whole "dress down to your shoes" thing comes up, I know it's not for me. I'm likely to get more done in my lounging robe and bare feet than when I'm dressed to go out.  So I realize that my thought process is different to start with there. Not that her's is wrong. And it may not be a good match.
And other times.. for instance that book "A Mother's Rule of Life" (I think it's called) has ideas set out and then how she implemented it.. and I purposely avoided reading the chapters of what she did until I had time to let the information set a while and come up with my own ideas.
Usually, when I have ideas of what I want to happen. Or clear ideas of my/our limitations then I can read other ideas and tweak them to fit us. It's reading ideas to use whole fabric that would get me into trouble.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Cay Gibson
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| Posted: Nov 18 2008 at 8:24am | IP Logged
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Tracey,
I'm speaking from my personality-angle here...  I often "dress down" lots of ideas I come across. That's the only way they're "do-able" in my household. Sometimes I dress another person's ideas up and that' good too.
But, to make them "your own", you don't need to change the plans at all (unless you want to).
Many of the "ideas" (whatever they may be from recipes to crafts to logical how-to), I do print out and use as-is.
The way I make it "my own" is by doing it.
It's as simple as that.
If I "think" about it too long it doesn't always get done. (This isn't to say I don't have a folder of "ideas" not yet done which I can glean from as easily as finding those on the Internet).
If I go around blogland looking for additional ideas to develop "that" idea and don't do "that one" then it doesn't always get done.
If I sit around hoping the materials will appear in my lap it doesn't get done.
It's as simple as doing it. The finished product is yours (your children's) to learn from and enjoy. That's what makes it your own.
__________________
Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
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Willa
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| Posted: Nov 18 2008 at 9:41am | IP Logged
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I think I have somewhat the same tendency as you, Tracey.
There are two things that motivate me to make it my own:
1. I CAN'T do it the way others do it. Especially when I had a bunch of little ones. I would be fixing up crafts, or whatever, and ignoring the laundry or the baby or something more important. Or it would take more money than we could comfortably afford. I always used to take ideas I liked and run them through a "simplify" filter not just once, but several times, until it was actually within my comfort zone.
2. It is more FUN to do it my way.... Usually. I know there are temperamental differences here. Some people like doing things strictly according to directions. This is a joy for them. And other people like completely inventing their own ideas. I'm in the middle. I like to grab an idea and then adapt it. I can tell when it's "working" because I feel excited and creative, not pressured or bored.
Be patient with yourself. It takes some time and experience to figure out what works for you and what doesn't. And outside circumstances can change things too. When my kids were younger and life was crazier I had to just take something that would work "well enough". If we got through the basics and the laundry wasn't spilling out the door, and the kids had food to eat and books to read and the screens weren't on too much, it was a good-enough day.
Someone mentioned "baby steps" to me and "do the next thing" and that was often what kept me moving in a generally forward direction.
Now that I have more time, I always have to watch out for getting "hyper-focused" and spending too much time on something that really isn't first priority. It helps me to sit down occasionally and write down everything that is flying about in my mind. Then take a few things that seem important and focus on those.
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AMDG
Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
Take Up and Read
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Willa
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| Posted: Nov 18 2008 at 9:48am | IP Logged
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Oh, and I forgot to add -- it helped me to realize that there were many ways to get a decent education. Somehow I thought when I was younger that there was "one right way" if I could only find it. In fact, it seems that the best methods overlap quite a bit. And the key is that kids are learners.... they don't need absolutely optimal conditions in order to learn well. I haven't seen ONE method that notably has superior results to the others. The common element that the successful methods seem to have is a mixture of fairly high expectations and warm support in reaching them. I personally don't consider myself all that successful as a homeschooler -- sigh, I'm a perfectionist -- but the successes we have had have come from a mixture of ideals for character, and respect for the kids and their natural "bents". And lots of prayers for wisdom, etc.
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AMDG
Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
Take Up and Read
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Sarah M
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| Posted: Nov 18 2008 at 6:06pm | IP Logged
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Willa wrote:
| If we got through the basics and the laundry wasn't spilling out the door, and the kids had food to eat and books to read and the screens weren't on too much, it was a good-enough day. |
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Thank you, Willa. This is what I need to remember when I get too idealistic.
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Connections
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| Posted: Nov 21 2008 at 11:06am | IP Logged
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Thanks so much for your thoughts. I will turn to them often when I start to get off track.
Blessings,
Tracey
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TracyQ
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| Posted: Nov 24 2008 at 11:55am | IP Logged
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And I repeat constantly...
*Comparison is the DEATH of contentment!*
I often have a tendency to see/read what others are doing, and compare myself with other homeschool moms, my kids with other kids, our homeschool/home with other homeschools/homes. I'm learning (14 years in) gradually that OUR family, MY vocation as wife and homeschool mom, and OUR homeschool/home are precious, unique, and God's blessing. HE has led us to be who we are, often through others' ideas, wisdom, and guidance, and for that, I'm eternally grateful.
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Blessings and Peace,
Tracy Q.
wife of Marty for 20 years, mom of 3 wonderful children (1 homeschool graduate, 1 12th grader, and a 9th grader),
 homeschooling in 15th year in Buffalo, NY
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hereinantwerp
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| Posted: Nov 25 2008 at 9:41pm | IP Logged
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I think it is kind of "the older I get" . . . not that I'm sooooooo old---(or sooooo wise, LOL!). But I think it kind of comes with maturity and wisdom in general, "knowing thyself", and becoming more comfortable with yourself. Like a spiritual discipline?? (or somehow related to spiritual discipline?)
Just the fact that you sense these things about yourself and your soul--self-examination--is good!!
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Angela Nelson
Mother to Simon (13), Calvin (9), and Lyddie Rose (3)
my blog: live and learn
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Topic: Making it your own
