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Maria Therese
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| Posted: April 07 2008 at 10:55am | IP Logged
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Hi Ladies,
I've been lurking at this forum for over a year now and only now have gotten the nerve to post anything. I'm a mom of three dd ages 8, 5, 2 and a baby boy due in a few weeks. We've homeschooled the past two years using the MODG curriculum with our oldest. I love homeschooling. It's all the other stuff of life that wears me out.  Our 5 year old is a new 5 and is going to start kindergarten in the fall. Our two year old is a new two and everybit of a TWO YEAR OLD.  She's a handful to say the least.
Over the last couple of days, I've had near constant thoughts of our school plan for next fall. You could say that I'm in "burn-out" mode at this point and have greatly cut back on our subjects except for the very core. I simply feel wiped out every day, physically and mentally.
What I'm about to say may be shocking to some, but I'm discerning putting my 5 year old in a 1/2 day kindergarten program and my two year old in a 2-3 day a week preschool program starting in the fall. It is at a nearby Baptist Church. My oldest did do preschool and kindergarten there and I honestly have NO complaints about it. It's a wonderful Christian based school.
My question is, have any of you felt compelled to take this type of action? Am I acting out of desperation?
Over the last few weeks my 2nd grader has been complaining of not being able to concentrate b/c of her sisters always interrupting and being loud. I find that I'm always stopping our schooling to break up the younger two from squabbles and losing my temper several times a day. The two year old is quite agressive and VERY verbal and the 5 year old is rather whiny...a very melancholic yet choleric temperment.
I am now in that gargantuan stage of the pregnancy...having a hard time running around after my youngest dd and having absolutely NO PATIENCE in dealing with non-compliant behavior. Part of me is saying that I NEED to send the younger two off to preschool-kindergarten for my own sanity and for the sake of my oldest dd. Yet another part of me says I should be able to deal with this without sending off my kids for someone else to take care of and I will probably be riddled with guilt.
The new baby isn't even here yet and I'm so afraid of not having the ability to handle a newborn, toddler and schooling the older two in kindergarten and third grade. I feel like I'm being whiny here too, just posting this b/c I know so many of you have more children and other challenges that way out weigh the issues I'm facing.
So...there you have it. I've ranted on and on. I'm sure what I'm saying isn't anything new, I'd just like your thoughts. My dh is supportive of whatever I decide. I can tell he's concerned for my well being, always asking if I'm doing okay. He works a lot of hours and even when he's home, he's working. Many days he says, "I don't know why you put yourself through this...we can send them to Catholic school---all you have to do is say the word."
Thoughts...prayers???
God Bless,
Paige
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lapazfarm
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| Posted: April 07 2008 at 11:39am | IP Logged
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Please DO NOT feel guilty about doing what you think is best for your family at this time. You are the mom, and only you and dh know what you can and cannot do.
We all have our seasons.
__________________
Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
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JSchaaf
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| Posted: April 07 2008 at 12:10pm | IP Logged
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No guilt allowed! Feel confident that you are making the right decision for YOUR family, YOUR children, in this season of life. Sending one or two to school doesn't mean you are giving up on homeschooling or a homeschool failure. I speak from personal experience. Here is what Cay Gibson wrote to me-I still return to it now and again.
You have made the best decision for your dd. You really have! If she thrives in school, why mess with a good thing? There is still so much you can do with her at home to continue that home schooling mentality that so many of us love and desire. In looking at my dc and what they have learned, I am constantly drawn back to the realization that what they know was not learned from me, a school, etc. It was learned from life and whatever caught their attention at that moment in time.
The school has her...what?...7 hours a day. You have her the other 17 hours! You do the math and figure who's going to be the overall influence in her life. You will. Your home life will. And once your dh gets back home, life will slowly get back to normal and more stable. I think it's more important that you make your home beautiful and wonderful for your girls than worrying about "schooling" them. Make it a haven that invites your girls and your dh to want to come home to. Make it warm and loving. Have Christmas carols playing on the CD when she walks in the door from school. Buy the sugar cookie pre-made rolls ahead of time (no stress, no mess, no work ). Cut them and let her place them on the cookie sheet while you discuss her school day (or roll the dough out and let the girls use cookie cutters). After they're baked, let the girls ice and sprinkle Christmas sprinkles on them.
Do all that "stuff" we were discussing at the unschooling/lazy thread...you know, all the stuff with "no substance". Ignore the naysayers. There is real substance in what we do within our homes with our dc, whether they are there 24 hours, 17 hours, or only every other weekend of the month (as in the case of divorced parents of which my brother is one). He gets his girls every other weekend and truly does try to give them a "home" that they look forward in coming home to.
There are so many different situations out there. We are all in different situations. And we are all still learning. That's the beauty of Real Learning. It isn't institutionalized or boxed in holes. It isn't a clock on the wall. It isn't something that happens in 7 hours a day or 17 hours a day. It's the atmosphere, the environment, the self-discipline that happens every day of our lives. It's the life we make for ourselves and for those we love.
I have one in school right now (first grade) who will be home next fall, and my 5 yo will be going to kindergarten! I've learned to look at each child individually to determine what they need. For example, my first grader needed the structure and routine (and yes, the social aspect) of a classroom. Will I be able to meet her needs here at home next year...I hope so. Anyway, I'm rambling. PM me if you need to!!
Jennifer
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Barbara C.
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| Posted: April 07 2008 at 4:07pm | IP Logged
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Don't feel guilty if you really feel that it is what is best for everyone. A half day of kindergarten and a few days of preschool isn't going to hurt the kids. And sometimes just the thought of having that as an option can be consoling.
You might want to re-evaluate how things flow after the new baby actually comes. It sounds like you may be at your pregnancy tipping point like I just posted about under "Mothering". School doesn't start for another four months, by then things may be more settled. You might not feel so physically uncomfortable and exhausted.
And depending on your state regulations, maybe you can keep to the core for your oldest in the fall as you ease back into homeschooling everyone. You can also start your kindergartner a little earlier or a little later. A lot of people are holding their kids out of kindergarten until they turn six. My daughter isn't eligible for kindergarten until this coming school year due to her November birthday, so she would be almost six when she started school if we were sending her.
Just try to relax and take it easy as much as you can. I know that being so close to your due date can make one irritable in addition to bringing up all sorts of worries. It will all work out how it's supposed to. In this life we're all just trying to get by.
__________________
Barbara
Mom to "spirited" dd(9), "spunky" dd (6), "sincere" dd (3), "sweet" dd (2), and baby girl #5 born 8/1/12!!
Box of Chocolates
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Stephanie_Q
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| Posted: April 07 2008 at 5:51pm | IP Logged
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Paige, I just wrote a post on my blog about our school decisions (part 1)...we are going to be sending our oldest to Kindergarten next year (at age 6). My focus is going to shift to the pre-school and religious education of my kids (that will be part 2). I really appreciate what Jennifer (and Cay) wrote. I've been feeling like I shouldn't be here since I'm going to be sending my oldest to school...but this makes me feel a lot better about everything and confident in our decision. Thanks for posting! I'll definitely pray for you as you discern what's going to be best for your family.
__________________
Stephanie dh 6.01
dd 6.02, dd 8.03, ds 3.05, ds 12.06 at Catholic school.
dd 12.09 at home.
Baby boy due 10.13
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JSchaaf
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| Posted: April 07 2008 at 5:58pm | IP Logged
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Stephanie-
Can you link to your blog?
Thanks!
Jennifer
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Stephanie_Q
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| Posted: April 07 2008 at 6:25pm | IP Logged
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I edited my post to include the link.
__________________
Stephaniedh 6.01
dd 6.02, dd 8.03, ds 3.05, ds 12.06 at Catholic school.
dd 12.09 at home.
Baby boy due 10.13
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cathhomeschool
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Texas Bluebonnets
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| Posted: April 08 2008 at 8:29am | IP Logged
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Paige, my first thought when I read your post is that "the fall" is still a long way away. At times when I have felt overwhelmed by my many responsibilities and lack of energy to do them all, it has helped tremendously to give myself -- and for my dh to give me -- "permission" to do xyz. Some real life xyz's: eat on throw away plates every day so that I don't have to do dishes, eat out/bring in/pay someone to cook for me/buy all prepared meals so that I don't have to cook, putting 2 of the 4 kids in school, NOT cleaning, getting a college girl to help keep littles occupied, skipping school for a month so that I can rest and recover, having a college helper come watch kids so that I can nap every day. Now, I've never "resorted" to most things (did have a girl come so I could nap -- and she wasn't cheap! have eaten out/brought in. Have skipped school.) But it relieved me tremendously to *know* that I could and would have my husband's blessing and support. Fall is far off. If it eases your mind to decide right now to put some of the kids in school in the fall, then do that. Sit with that decision for the rest of the year and the summer. When the time comes, if you are still at peace with it, then do it. If it is a product of burnout, then I'm betting you'll feel better about keeping the kids home by fall. Also remember that neither decision is a "no turning back" decision. You can pull the kids out and in most places, you can enroll them late.
In the meantime, I would suggest going easy on yourself. Do not feel guilty! Pray every single morning for patience with your daughter, and that Mary would guide you as to the best way to respond to that particular child when she is non-compliant. (Even 2 minutes on that intention will help. I have seen those fruits with my oldest when I am faithful to that daily intention.) Remember that your hormones are changing now. What you're going through is absolutely normal!
__________________
Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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Maria Therese
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| Posted: April 09 2008 at 5:27am | IP Logged
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You ladies are wonderful. August/Sept. is a few months away and I should re-evaluate at that time. In the meantime, for peace of mind, I will register my two youngest in the pre-school/kindergarten program and then if I'm over my "slump" by the end of the summer, I can just keep them home. If I feel like I'm not keeping up well enough, then I'll allow them to go and just continuously re-evaluate.
Why didn't I think of that? 
Y'all are great. I'm so glad I've finally posted and look forward to again.
Blessings,
Paige
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mariB
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| Posted: April 09 2008 at 6:27pm | IP Logged
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These ladies above have given wonderful advice. I once had my 3 year old in preschool because i was pregnant and constantly throwing up. Same with my oldest, I put him in school half way through 1st grade because I was vomiting with my 4th pregnancy.
I have often seen how God has used these times away from home schooling for his greater good. Remember, just because you put your child in school doesn't mean that she is there forever.
We always like to take a year at a time:)
Blessings and I will pray for your decision.
__________________
marib-Mother to 22ds,21ds,18ds,15dd,11dd and wife to an amazing man for 23 years
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monica
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| Posted: April 10 2008 at 2:41am | IP Logged
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after much prayer worrying, we put our son in a half day preschool in january. it came after his best and only close friend moved away. i have not been impressed with the education, but the social aspect and language learning (we live in romania) has been great for him. i really prayed about it and God just kind of led us to the perfect teacher. there are still draw backs, and i plan on doing hsing in the summer when preschool is out to get in some of the educational stuff i think he is lacking, but it has really been the best decision for us. cay posted something on my blog affirming our decision, and it was such an encouragment, as i was wrestling with guilt over my ideal of homeschooling and the reality of my lonely, friendless son.
so pray and ask God to open doors and give confirmation, and he will !
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Angie Mc
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Paige, you are doing an awesome job sorting through some very difficult challenges and looking for the best options for your family. I am praying for you!
One of the practical ways I look at my vocation as wife and mother has to do with delegating. In my full life, I simply can't *do it all.* Over the years I have delegated to others some tasks that I can technically do myself. I have delegated tasks to my dh, my children, handymen, yard care guys, house cleaners, pool guy, tutors, musicians, educators, and more. What I have delegated has been based on prayerful discernment with my dh (and older children,) our priorities, our financial and experiental abilities (or lack there of), and circumstances. We are slow to delegate mothering (breastfeeding, holding, tending babies and young children) and educational duties. We look to delegate other things first because we have found over time that we most often can find a way to say *yes* to staying home with young children and homeschooling. Yet, for example, I had no problem at all delegating high school Latin because of a good opportunity combined with my lack of Latin experience.
Once we have made the best decision at the time for our family, we refuse to feel guilt. We protect the decision that we feel has been made within the sacrament of our marriage, between us and God. We trust that God is with us and if we have somehow misunderstood His will for us, He will let us know and we can conform once again.
Love,
__________________
Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: 1/2 Day Kindergarten???
