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EmilyC
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| Posted: Sept 28 2007 at 10:26am | IP Logged
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I hate to vent, but if I don't, I might scream. My 8 year old dd has never been one to take her time and work hard on something. I've been introducing the idea of making our lessons beautiful lately, and showing the children how to make main lesson books and fill the page with color, etc. The twins took right to it, and are doing wonderful. The two of them draw all the time, and are very artistic.
Dd, on the other hand, seems to be having a hard time with this. She loves the idea, and I showed her some examples to inspire her, but she rushes through and often, does her assignment incorrectly, because she didn't pay attention when I explained it. Her handwriting is very sloppy, and she just doesn't seem to care to work at writing neatly.
How can I help her to take her time, and listen more carefully, without fussing and nagging?
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Emily,
Wife to Rob since 8/98
Mom to 4:
Sarah (13) Robbie & Riley (10) Regina (nearly 3)
My secular lit-based curriculum:
Build Your Library curriculum
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Patty LeVasseur
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| Posted: Sept 28 2007 at 11:36am | IP Logged
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Emily,
It seems to me that sometimes it isn't a lack of desire that causes things to turn out different then we want, but rather a lack of ability. I have four children, and my Sarah always seemed to be the one looking at me with that deer in the headlights look when I was explaining things to her and then we would try to do the assignment and she would do it incorrectly. Sarah is now eleven and things have gotten much better, but she is still my child that seems to learn everything differently and to take longer to get to the age where she can learn it.
If something didn't work with Sarah I found my best bet was to try something else. If a text book couldn't help her to figure out a noun from a verb, I would try Simply Grammar or English for the Thoughtful Child. And some years I just figured that maybe this was a concept that was just not going to be learned until next year.
Sloppy handwriting is also one of those things that I think children can grow out of and if she doesn't, she could always become a doctor. 
And as someone who personally struggled mightily through art class and still managed to draw animals that looked more like roadkill, I understand how frustrating it can be to want to make something beautiful only to have it not turn out the way you want. As an adult though, I am pretty proud of the drawings in my nature notebook. They aren't great, but at least they look alive.
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Patty
mom to four blessings
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katilac
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| Posted: Sept 28 2007 at 12:28pm | IP Logged
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I would tread so very carefully here. While the idea of beautiful lessons sounds wonderful, I wouldn't regard messy or unappealing work as either an academic or discipline issue.
Many 8 yr olds are still struggling with handwriting, and many are just now beginning to draw anything recognizable. Having other children with natural artistic ability may be skewing your expectations a bit.
Kids are all so, so different. You say that your dd loves the idea, so it's not like she's defying you about it. yes, of course you want her to gradually learn to slow down and be neater, but it's a slow process that just never comes easily to some people.
I see two potential issues here, that MUST be separated: dd's messiness/lack of artistic ability, and her inability to follow directions.
If she is having trouble following directions and completing academic assignments properly, I would probably plan to spend more time sitting with her as she does her work. Keep her focused and be there to nudge her when she begins to stray from the assigned path.
Don't do this in a punitive way - - I wouldn't even mention it; I'd simply start doing it. It's frustrating to have to sit with them for things they 'ought' to be able to do on their own, but we need to let go of pre-set expectations and meet each child where he/she is RIGHT NOW.
The handwriting and drawing are things that I would back way, way up on. If your dd is enthused about the results of her beautiful lessons, I would look at her artistic train wreck, smile, and say "Wow, that certainly is . . . colorful!"
If she doesn't like her results, or compares them to her sibs, I'd simply say that everyone has different strengths, and it can be fun to do something even if you're not the best at it. If she doesn't want to continue the efforts, I'd let her stop and just do the academic work.
Handwriting that is messy enough to be illegible needs to be addressed, but again I would take it slow. No fussing needed, simply small amounts of daily practice. And recognize that she may never have good handwriting; many people don't.
I tell my 4th grader that I must be able to read her work; if she doesn't close in her 9's, they look like 4's, and I don't know if the math is correct. So legible is required; if she wants to work on beautiful, that's up to her.
Again, I don't see this as an academic or discipline issue at all, and it's surely not worth creating negative feelings in dd1.
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EmilyC
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| Posted: Sept 28 2007 at 1:14pm | IP Logged
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Thank you. You both are right. I don't want to stifle her creativity, but it's frustrating for me, when I've seen her do better work at other times. She's one of those "hurry up and get through this" types when it comes to school work, and it makes me crazy. I want her to slow down, dive deeper, take her time, and she just wants to finish up so she can go play. A lot of the sloppiness comes from her rushing, and I know she can be neater, because I've seen her write neater, but only when she feels like it.
She's very much like me...which makes it harder--it's like seeing my flaws magnified, you know? 
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Emily,
Wife to Rob since 8/98
Mom to 4:
Sarah (13) Robbie & Riley (10) Regina (nearly 3)
My secular lit-based curriculum:
Build Your Library curriculum
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katilac
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| Posted: Sept 29 2007 at 2:56pm | IP Logged
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I think that our own flaws are ALWAYS the hardest ones to accept in our children.
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donnalynn
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| Posted: Oct 11 2007 at 12:58pm | IP Logged
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Emily -
In my experience main lesson books are really done by imitating the adult in a very step-by-step process especially in the younger grades - it makes for a very intensive endeavor for a homeschool parent IMO.
However, completing a main lesson book is a learning process all in itself. For some children even creating a border around the page is a big effort. Your daughter may need to be shown *exactly* how one accomplishes this.
The best way to this, I think, is for you to create a sample page on your own and note step by step what you are doing. I would suggest keeping the drawing simple, large, and only about three elements. Then with your daughter recreate the same page along with her - you begin - she follows on her own page step by step.
It may take more than one day - if you sense she is getting tired or frustrated you know that you are finished for that day. Affirm that it is hard work - she's doing great and that we'll do some more tomorrow.
Or work on a page together - for instance if you want to begin with a border - you do one side - your daughter could do the other. If you are beginning with the ground - you start on one side and suggest she finish the other side. She may just want to watch how you do it. Ask for suggestions and then show how you go about it.
Either of these might help because you will be setting the pace if the issue is one of rushing.
It's always hard to get the big picture from a short note - if any of this doesn't sound helpful please feel free to ignore it entirely. 
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donnalynn
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: Careless children?
