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Kristie 4
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| Posted: Sept 05 2007 at 12:32pm | IP Logged
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Well, this morning was frustrating. I have been at this long enough to know that yes, frustration happens, and some days are indeed better than others. But this morning all those fears, all the frustrations, came to a head- and it usually almost always boils down to the fact that my ds12 has such a hard time with some things and that I have a hard time with that (this is where I feel so badly).
When we do math we usually do a new thing, then realise 4 or 5 old things have been completely forgotten. Today I was asking him about some geography (one of those pop quizzes coming from a usually relaxed hser, one that came after a horrendous math session  many sobs!). He told me we used to live on the Atlantic- we lived on the Pacific for his 9th and 10th years- surrounded by it on a little island. At this point I am sure he felt very poorly (understatement) about himself and I know I felt even worse about myself (the one who could be his biggest cheerleader- but too often the one to bring him down!).
His smaller brother and sister are whizzes at math, and his sister memorizes every single thing she hears and reads. I really try not to compare, but it glares out at us.
This child is such a sweet boy, so helpful, a complete bookworm and so easygoing. There are probably learning disabilities there but we have not had him tested (at first because we didn't want a label, then, because of the $- it is big bucks in this province as we are not in the school system).
I am being brutally honest here... I am sorry, but I need some support this morning , I know there are no easy answers...
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Kristie in Canada
Mom to 3 boys and one spunky princess!!
A Walk in the Woods
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Bridget
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| Posted: Sept 05 2007 at 1:22pm | IP Logged
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Oh Kristie. Your son probably has strengths that balance out his weaknesses but it's so hard to see them in the middle of a bad day.
He sounds like a kid you can really work with if you can figure out what his needs are and what might help him. How does he learn best? Does he need more drill and repetition to retain information? More hands on? More discussion? Maybe more exercise? Chores, projects, hobbies? What can he excel at? Start there.
There are so many things to try. No kid learns everything perfectly but you will find a way to help him learn as well as he can.
In the end, good character and strong faith are more important than anything else he needs for life.
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God Bless,
Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
Our Magnum Opus
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Kristie 4
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| Posted: Sept 05 2007 at 2:07pm | IP Logged
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Thank you for your kind words Bridget.
He does need lots of repetition and has lots of hobbies. His project he started last spring is still in process and he really enjoys this, so I should figure out how to orchestrate this into more of a key point in our days. I just find with four children it is hard sometimes to figure out how to work with each one, and I usually go to a very simplified plan. This works well for me, but two of my kids are very hands on etc. and I know that I need to include these points. So frequently I go to my preferred method of learning- books, books, books 
Yes, his faith and character are the most important points, and this morning I know I had lost sight of this
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Kristie in Canada
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A Walk in the Woods
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CKwasniewski
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| Posted: Sept 05 2007 at 3:29pm | IP Logged
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Kristie,
I really feel for you. I don't have any problems like what you are up against...(one son who seems to have moderate dyslexia.) But I know the feeling of having failed...
One thing that comes to mind is that it would help you to find out what your ds's learning problems are. You wouldn't have to do expensive testing, you might be able to find out a lot just by sleuthing on the internet. There are also some books available that help you pinpoint what the difficulty is. (One I know of is "The Homeschooler's Guide for Learning Problems," which Rainbow Resource carries.)
When you have pinpointed what the problems are, you won't feel like the situation is so bad. Instead you'll be able to find strategies for dealing with each thing, and you'll be able to be calmer about it all.
You'll be in my prayers.
hth
CK
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Bookswithtea
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| Posted: Sept 05 2007 at 6:35pm | IP Logged
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Is he a young 12 or an older 12? I only ask because 12 is a pivotal age...at young 12 my ds was much more like an early 11 yr old. At the beginning of 13 he suddenly became competent in things he just could NOT do well before.
I noticed that he seems to follow the Trivium stages, but just is a slow graduat-er to the next step.
Character is everything...geography is not.
I would work hard to find programs at his level that are tailored to his learning style and focus on his strengths. Being labeled stinks. I would have done the same thing in bypassing that altogether. Doing research yourself is a great idea, though, as CK suggests.
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Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and  due 9/10
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folklaur
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| Posted: Sept 05 2007 at 7:58pm | IP Logged
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I hate labels, too, I really do. I mean, really, really don't like them.
However, getting our ds tested (labeled?) helped me to better be able to help him. I didn't do it without being pretty sure what the diagnosis was going to be. But working with a great developmental pediatrician was a good experience, and he let us know about resources we hadn't been aware of.
Prayers for you! It can be so hard. No beating yourself up!
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Kristie 4
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| Posted: Sept 05 2007 at 10:22pm | IP Logged
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Thank you, thank you....
What great support.
I will look at the book from Rainbow- I hadn't heard of that one before.
Books, he is a very young 12 (although after his canoe trip he seems much older  ). So that is good to hear.
Laura, yes, even though I don't like labels, I had tried to get him in to see someone. However, up here my resources are limited (my great doc searched fairly thouroughly for me), even though the next province over allows homeschoolers more services.
Thank you 
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Kristie in Canada
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A Walk in the Woods
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jugglingpaynes
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| Posted: Sept 06 2007 at 5:57pm | IP Logged
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No other suggestions, just support. I have similar issues with my 11yo ds and spelling. I know the concepts are somewhere in his brain, but I think his memory filing system is similar his room cleaning system--that is, scattered. I just take the little victories as they come, like appropriate use of a silent e.  There were a lot of late bloomers in the family, hubby included, so I try not to worry.
And if we drop back to an easier level every now and then, for reinforcement, what's the harm? It is more important to build a strong foundation than to set up a structure that is destined to crumble under pressure.
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Cristina
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Kristie 4
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| Posted: Sept 06 2007 at 9:40pm | IP Logged
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And if we drop back to an easier level every now and then, for reinforcement, what's the harm? It is more important to build a strong foundation
So true Cristina.
Thank you
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Kristie in Canada
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A Walk in the Woods
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cfa83
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| Posted: Sept 07 2007 at 1:32am | IP Logged
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Hi Kristie,
I bet if you took a step back you would see this particular son does a number of things differently than your other kids do. He, like each of us, is wired differently. What does he do naturally well? How does he do it? I have one son that is highly organized, another wouldn't know if he had his underware on his head. I noticed they do their schooling best as they do life. I am an extremly relaxed person, therefore my schooling leans strongly towards that. That doesn't work for my highly organized son, it does for the other.
I don't really know if what I have said applies but I wonder if you tried more his natural approach (by watching how he deals with life outside of school) will help in his retention of learning.
You are going to have a great day today!
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Linda
Married to an incredible man, mother to 6 precious (and I mean precious) children: Grace, Michael, John, Faith, Hope and Andrew
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Kristie 4
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| Posted: Sept 07 2007 at 9:44am | IP Logged
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THank you so much Linda. Yes, yesterday was an awesome day. We made a craft (the eggshell mosaic- thanks Theresa), had tea time with poetry (mom's fave), had a huge read aloud session while kids drew and knitted and then sat with said ds for a couple hours to help him edit his project. He then created a blog and posted it on there.
The Lost Tale
It was an excellent day
Linda, I am going to look at what you said- it is where I seemed to be getting to.
Thank you.
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Kristie in Canada
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A Walk in the Woods
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cfa83
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| Posted: Sept 07 2007 at 11:28am | IP Logged
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The Lost Tale is wonderful. My kids are looking forward to reading it. That's learning!
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Linda
Married to an incredible man, mother to 6 precious (and I mean precious) children: Grace, Michael, John, Faith, Hope and Andrew
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Kristie 4
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| Posted: Sept 07 2007 at 3:06pm | IP Logged
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Thank you for letting us know... I will show my son your comment and I know he will light right up!!
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Kristie in Canada
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BrendaPeter
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We have a son like this too. Perhaps many of us do! One really unlifting thing we did lately was watch the St. Joseph Cupertino movie, "The Reluctant Saint". It reminded me alot of our sweet boy!
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Blessings,
Brenda (mom to 6)
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: So Frustrated....
