Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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Subject Topic: I've wasted so much of my kids' time! Post ReplyPost New Topic
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dawn2006
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Posted: Aug 13 2007 at 4:50pm | IP Logged Quote dawn2006

Hi! I'm Dawn. I've been reading around here and using the search function and just spending some time. I've been re-reading "Real Learning" and doing lots of thinking and praying. In short, I've concluded that I've been in survival mode for way too long and have wasted so much of my kids' time with television and such. This point was driven home for me today as we went on our first official nature walk and came home to narrate. My 5 1/2 yo. ds's narration is nothing compared to some I've read in the narration forum and particularly the 6 yo. narration in the RL book. I'm not ashamed of it or him... but of myself. However, I've been inspired by the RL book. I didn't know a family could live together like that all day long. I also have only become aware of how to pick out good books. Seriously, I didn't know. I bought "Honey For a Child's Heart" and that has helped. I won't go into much more detail except to add that my brood is still young and growing and I hope to start "getting it right" more often. Thanks for listening. Oh, and expect exasperating questions from me on the logistical nature of living without tv and subsequently without yelling and crying (from mom!). TIA.
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cathhomeschool
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Posted: Aug 13 2007 at 5:09pm | IP Logged Quote cathhomeschool

Hugs to you, Dawn! And welcome to the group. There is a wonderful world out there in living books waiting to be discovered! Rest assured that you will receive many wonderful answers to your questions -- and *no one* will consider them exasperating at all.

We are all on an adventure, learning from each other every day. Glad to have you on that roller coaster with us!   

(Oh, and don't look back and regret the past -- just look to the future and take it a little bit at a time. Regardless of when you start, there is always more to discover, so don't feel bad.)

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TracyQ
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Posted: Aug 13 2007 at 5:41pm | IP Logged Quote TracyQ

cathhomeschool wrote:


(Oh, and don't look back and regret the past -- just look to the future and take it a little bit at a time. Regardless of when you start, there is always more to discover, so don't feel bad.)


Oh, this is SO, so true. I'm finally learning this after 12 years of homeschooling. Move forward, and stop beating yourself up for things you regret, otherwise Satan will rob you of the joys you can have now!!!

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lapazfarm
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Posted: Aug 13 2007 at 7:10pm | IP Logged Quote lapazfarm

You have not wasted time. You have discovered what DOES NOT work. How clever of you! Some folks never come that far! And now you are beginning to discover what DOES work. I'd say you've made major progress while your kids are still young. You should have it well under control by the time you are an old lady like me!
Seriously!

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Posted: Aug 13 2007 at 9:15pm | IP Logged Quote msclavel

No regrets! Thank God for the wisdom, pray and move forward. Have fun!
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humanaevitae
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Posted: Aug 14 2007 at 11:20am | IP Logged Quote humanaevitae

Instead of TV, my kids love to listen to books on tape. They will listen for hours!

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MarieC
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Posted: Aug 14 2007 at 12:46pm | IP Logged Quote MarieC

Regret is a waste of time!

Just start out making changes to what you do. That said, start slowly...nothing will burn you out faster than trying to do everything all at once.

TV, in my opinion, just feeds on itself. My children watch very little tv, but on those occasions when they do (whether as a treat or b/c someone is sick, etc.) I have a lot of requests for it in the day or two to follow. It's not as bad with my olders but my preschoolers are easily hooked. I'd think about turning it off completely...at least while you're trying to introduce new stuff.

I'm sorry if this is too harsh a post or too opinionated...please don't take it as such. I'm far, far from perfect!

Hugs to you and I'll be praying for your family.

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dawn2006
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Posted: Aug 14 2007 at 1:58pm | IP Logged Quote dawn2006

I'm sorry if this is too harsh a post or too opinionated

For whatever reason this caused a huge grin on my face. Thank you for your concern, though. Definitely not too harsh! Now, if you had thrown in that just from my post you could tell that I need to lose 20 pounds...well..I might have taken that personally.   

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Posted: Aug 14 2007 at 2:35pm | IP Logged Quote folklaur

Re: TV -- this was HARD for me. I like TV too - usually a learning channel of some sort (Discovery, FoodTv) but I also love some TV shows too, like Dr Who .

However, the more you keep it off, the easier it is to keep it off. It is also easy to get hooked right back into it.

After a few days of unhappiness, they really do find other (better) things to do. Really.

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hylabrook1
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Posted: Aug 14 2007 at 5:17pm | IP Logged Quote hylabrook1

Theresa's comment reminded me of a story I heard about a famous inventor. His successful, well-known invention (of course I can't remember who it was or what he'd invented ) came after several hundred attempts, none of which worked. When asked whether he felt he had wasted years and lots of effort, he replied that he did not feel any of it had been a waste because he had learned from each attempt what DID NOT WORK. This knowledge helped him to find the right way to do things!

Also, as I look back over 15 years of learning with my children at home, I see many phases in which something that worked then would never work now or the other way around. There is no *perfect* way and different ways are better at their appropriate time. Please don't beat yourself up over how you did things before. Everything we ever do is part of the total experience of living and God uses it all for our good.

Peace,
Nancy
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lapazfarm
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Posted: Aug 14 2007 at 6:51pm | IP Logged Quote lapazfarm

It was Thomas Edison. A homeschooler, of course!

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dawn2006
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Posted: April 04 2008 at 3:31pm | IP Logged Quote dawn2006

Just updating about the tv bit. We don't turn the tv on until 4 PM and after toys are picked up. They get a movie and then off. I'm so proud of myself. They do get more screen time, though, when dad gets home at 7 but that's a battle I don't fight cuz then I'd ended up fighting with dh! LOL! In time... In a few more weeks I intend to keep the tv off "until dad gets home". With summer upon us that shouldn't be too hard.

Something about having the new baby, though, and my oldest turning six is that I realized how quickly they go from baby to 6 and I want to live more purposefully, from now on, with my kids. I feel like I'm not as nervous and stressed out of a mom now, like I was the first several years (and babies).

Thanks, again, for all your supportive comments when I first posted. I keep lurking around here and rereading the Real Learning book and the CM Companion book. Always something in here and those books to get me excited!

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Posted: April 04 2008 at 4:02pm | IP Logged Quote lapazfarm

Thanks for the happy update, Dawn! I'm so glad to hear it!

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Willa
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Posted: April 04 2008 at 7:50pm | IP Logged Quote Willa

dawn2006 wrote:

Something about having the new baby, though, and my oldest turning six is that I realized how quickly they go from baby to 6 and I want to live more purposefully, from now on, with my kids. I feel like I'm not as nervous and stressed out of a mom now, like I was the first several years (and babies).


It is very inspiring to read your update -- thanks for sharing!

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Mamamoon
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Posted: April 04 2008 at 9:49pm | IP Logged Quote Mamamoon

good for you~i think we all have been there.
mamamoon~
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Posted: April 05 2008 at 8:06am | IP Logged Quote Lauri B

Dear Dawn,

Don't regret! You're only just starting a very long journey - it's a marathon and not a sprint. You have so much time! I can hear in your post how much you care - your children are very blessed to have such a loving mother!

PS - Children should only be *beginning* narration at age 6! I suggest beginning with very short but engaging and easily summarized pieces such as Aesops Fables. Some children might need only one short paragraph to narrate from and will only manage a sentence or two of narration! It may take a long time before they're turning out long narrations.

PPS - Don't forget you may be comparing a not-very-verbal, oldest boy with a very verbose, middle or youngest little girl (or vice versa). Not all children are born talkers and some take to narration quicker than others. Also, younger siblings have grown up hearing zillions of narrations so they'll "get it" much sooner.

Slow and steady wins the race! :) Don't be too hard on yourself! All homeschooling mothers are dreadful perfectionists - we're our own worst enemies sometimes!!

hugs-
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dawn2006
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Posted: April 05 2008 at 5:28pm | IP Logged Quote dawn2006

nak

thank you lauri!i LOOOVE what you said about it not being a sprint. i'm only just realizing this.   



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