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amyable
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| Posted: June 27 2007 at 1:00pm | IP Logged
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Here's something I've been thinking about for awhile but can't seem to wrap my brain around:
My oldest (9.5 yo girl) is a quirky-learner (to me, lol), probably very right brained, very talkative and extroverted, with an extremely low tolerance for frustration. If *she* is interested in something she is much better, and only seems to learn things when we take breaks from what looks like "schooling" (math workbooks and such). She sounds like a great candidate for unschooling to me. (maybe mostly because "schooling" is doing nothing but making her cry?  )
Now, her younger siblings (7, 4 ... not counting the toddler) are very much more "traditional" learners and LOVE their workbooks, high structure, and sitting down with me "teaching". I don't think they would thrive with being let loose like their older sister to learn.
Has anyone unschooled only one child, especially the oldest (eldest?) while being more formal and traditional with younger/other siblings? How did it work? Any stories or advice? Books? Websites?
All I can envision right now is me getting bogged down "formally teaching" the younger ones while doing TOO much ignoring of my oldest's unschooling needs (strewing, conversation, etc) while the youngest siblings all revolt because "Meg" is getting away with murder not doing "school".  
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Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of 
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
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chicken lady
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| Posted: June 27 2007 at 2:37pm | IP Logged
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I remember Cay referencing this awhile back. That is to say she has some unschoolers and some seat learners. I believe it is not that uncommon to do, as we are all looking for the best way to educate each of our very different children.
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marihalojen
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| Posted: June 27 2007 at 2:40pm | IP Logged
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Amy, what I immediately thought of with the older/younger different approaches is Theresa, Superboy and JBug. Superboy uses a Project based "school" while JBug's "school" appears to be Montessori based. Multiple approaches for multiple students.
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The Mari Hal-O-Jen
SSR = Sailing, Snorkling, Reading
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lapazfarm
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| Posted: June 27 2007 at 9:20pm | IP Logged
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Yes, I teach both of my kids very differently. My ds does project-based learning, which I approach in a very unschoolish way. And it is getting more and more unschoolish all the time. JBug, however, seems to thrive on the order and concrete-to-abstract nature of Montessori methods.
And while I am not a purist at any method, I do see where they overlap a great deal, and I also see some real differences.
So, it definitely can work to unschool the oldest. My younger dd sees ds's activities as natural for an older child, and figures when she is big she will be schooling similarly. An that is probably true.
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Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
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amyable
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| Posted: June 28 2007 at 8:40am | IP Logged
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lapazfarm wrote:
| And while I am not a purist at any method, I do see where they overlap a great deal, and I also see some real differences. |
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Especially with the age gap between your 2, I see how this could work out well. Probably because I'm seeing more similarities between the two methods and how they can fit on a continuum (sort of as your dd sees - "Montessori is good for me at this age, and when I'm older it will look more like my brother's work")
I think the problems I'm worrying about here stem from the more stark differences between what I envision my 9yo doing (serious unschooling - with a newborn I don't even know how "project based" I can get!) and what my 7yo will be doing (very "schooly").
I don't want 9yo to think that because she "flips out" all the time she can get away with "not working". Plus I don't want her to get the idea that she isn't smart and can't do things (she'll see her 7yo sister is already ahead of her in many academic areas and will continue to progress at lightning speed if I let her do her "schooly" things with me). I guess I wonder if this will be bad for either of them emotionally and sibling-relationship-wise.
I'm sorry, this is making very little sense right now. Things were very calm here when I started writing and have gone downhill, lol. If I can get more thoughts together, I'll post again.
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Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
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MichelleW
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| Posted: June 30 2007 at 4:29am | IP Logged
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Amy,
Thanks so much for bringing this up. I have been wrestling with the same thing. My kids are very close in age and do everything together. My oldest would really benefit from a more unschooly/project based approach, but my other two need more structure. I am very interested in this topic right now (no answers, sorry)...
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Michelle
Mom to 3 (dd 14, ds 15, and ds 16)
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Leonie
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| Posted: July 01 2007 at 10:37pm | IP Logged
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Maybe a form of unschooling for all? Some have tos and some explorations, adapted to their needs. So, some have tos for one child may be workbooks but for another more hands on?
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Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
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lapazfarm
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| Posted: July 03 2007 at 4:55pm | IP Logged
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Hmmm...When will your oldest be 10?
I ask because I wonder if the way of getting around this might be to have some sort of informal "moving up" or "growing up" ceremony in which dd, because of her advanced age, will be moving up to a more "self-directed" form of learning, where, as long as she can prove to you that she is actively learning, she may choose whatever subject strikes her fancy. She can prepare herself for weekly "meetings" with mommy to report her progress.
Perhaps if she is treated as if she is now ready to be an independant, self-motivated, mature learner, she will rise to the occasion?
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Theresa
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Leonie
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| Posted: July 03 2007 at 4:57pm | IP Logged
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Nice idea, Theresa. 
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Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
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amyable
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| Posted: July 03 2007 at 6:43pm | IP Logged
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Yes, Theresa...hmmmm...I think I can run with that one! My dd will be 10 around Thanksgiving, but since the baby is due mid/late Sept, I'm thinking much of Oct will be laid back anyway.
She definitely needs boundries though, I'll have to think about those. For all of her pushing against the boundries we give her, they are necessary for her sense of security. 
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Amy
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The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
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Angel
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| Posted: July 04 2007 at 6:49am | IP Logged
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Amy,
I think 10 is a magic age. My oldest ds seemed to grow up a lot after he turned 10. What I found over our last school year was that after several months of consistent routines, when I gave him much more freedom about what he was doing and when he did it (basically: "you're required to do math every day, but you can choose the math you do, and you can choose from these other activities, but you know you have to do spelling or you forget and you get frustrated), he totally suprised me by being very, very responsible. He did not put off his math until the end of the day -- which is what he had done before. And he seemed to enjoy it more. But I think that setting up those consistent routines was a necessary step for him, because of his special needs. Like your dd, he *needs* structure but, for one reason or another, has a very difficult time of creating it for himself. On the other hand, he's always pushing to see where the limits are. It can be frustrating.
One thing I've always done is to periodically check in with my kids and see what they want to learn about so I can run down resources to strew for them, etc. Hopefully this creates a bit of a balance in our house. Because of special needs, my ds really does need daily work in some areas he would much rather avoid (because they're hard). But outside of this relatively small daily core, my kids pursue a lot of their own learning independently, and the structure is provided by a routine to our day, not by my telling them what they need to work on next.
--Angela
Three Plus Two
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: Unschooling oldest/"schooling" others?
