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simplemama
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By reading these posts and blogs, it is for sure you all love your homeschooling lives, which is awesome. What about your kids? Do they all love their lives for the most part, too?
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Martha
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| Posted: May 07 2007 at 10:05pm | IP Logged
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I love my life? My homeschooling life? hmmm...
Yes, I suppose I do.
Do the kids? hmmmm....
I don't know. Most days? I sure hope so. And even if they don't, I do hope that they will have at least a little love for my effort when they are grown.
Today? Nope. Today several of them hated their life. Little brothers eating vital K'nex pieces off the K'nex roller coaster that they spent 3 hours working on and took up nearly an entire room. Little girls who got no respect from big brothers that didn't want to play tea party. No one felt too inclined to do math. Unless you count counting their trials and tribulations as math. 
Tomorrow? Yet to be seen, but hope to greet it optimisticly. 
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Martha
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simplemama
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| Posted: May 07 2007 at 10:10pm | IP Logged
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Well at least it 'seems' like most everyone here is so fulfilled and happy with their decisions to homeschool. Thank you though for reminding me that life does not have to be perfect to be good. :)
I just wonder sometimes if kids who are homeschooled have a generally happier life vs kids in school? They only have to fight with their brother/sisters but school has all the horrible gossip games and popularity games...
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lapazfarm
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| Posted: May 07 2007 at 10:28pm | IP Logged
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I know my ds is happier now than when he was in school. He was a very popular boy with his peers, voted class president in K, 1st, and 2nd grade, lots of friends, loved by teachers. But he was stressed. And his ADD was an issue, losing assignments, forgetting things, constantly being kept in from recess for not completing classwork.  By third grade I knew I had to pull him out as he was starting to dislike school and was getting headaches from stress.
Now, he couldn't be happier. I have my sunny, happy, loving, enthusiastic boy back and the past 3 years have been the best ever for him.
My dd doesn't know any other life, but I think she is happy. Often she wakes up and asks me "Is it a school day?" and if I say yes she shouts "Yippee!" and runs to grab a book!
My older children enjoyed homeschooling also, for the years that we did it. They often remark about fun things we did together, back in the day!
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Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
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MarilynW
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| Posted: May 07 2007 at 10:38pm | IP Logged
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simplemama wrote:
| By reading these posts and blogs, it is for sure you all love your homeschooling lives, which is awesome. What about your kids? Do they all love their lives for the most part, too? |
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First re myself - I find homeschooling tough a lot of the time - but it is kind of like mothering really - often tough butI am very contented with it and KNOW that it is the best lifestyle (at this time) for my family. However tough certain days are, I never question it as this is our lifestyle.
Re the kids - they LOVE it. The older ones have been in Catholic school and only been home for 2 years now. I am lucky because they have BTDT as far as school is concerned and they have no wondering about what it would be like. They love love being home, love the flexibility and the ability to choose things they are interested in. Yes - they do fight (sigh) and some days everyone seems to irritate everyone else just by breathing. But they would be horrified at the idea of going back to school.
As to benefits - there is no question that they are thriving academically - but more important they are healthier, happier and more relaxed.
I do get doubts sometimes - usually when people make comments about the opportunities in school etc. But Willa on this list has a quote in Real Learning - very heavily paraphrased - to the effect that "I want us all to be in heaven together, and homeschooling seems to be the best way to ensure this" (sorry Willa for the paraphrasing). And I really have to remind myself of this on struggling days when Christian behavior is sadly lacking in my kids (or myself!)
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Marilyn
Blessed with 6 gifts from God
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insegnante
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| Posted: May 08 2007 at 1:44am | IP Logged
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Martha wrote:
Today? Nope. Today several of them hated their life. Little brothers eating vital K'nex pieces off the K'nex roller coaster that they spent 3 hours working on and took up nearly an entire room. |
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Oh no! Those aren't the ones with magnets in them, are they? Really hard on the insides if swallowed.
I haven't been doing much home preschooling lately with my son who is 5 and I don't blog. So I'm not sure this question applies to me at all. Nonetheless!, when I was doing what little home pre-K we did (no structured curriculum, nothing a lot of mothers who don't think of themselves as homeschoolers don't probably do,) sometimes it was wonderful and sometimes I was frustrated by things not working out as they had in my head, but there was a happiness in working through it, maybe learning or accomplishing something other than what we had set out to that day. My son (then 4) wasn't always so interested in whatever I wanted him to be doing (I'm not very unschooling-oriented,) but since we began doing the testing-out-homeschooling thing, and even in the months since I haven't been initiating much of anything with the label homeschooling, he's fairly often asked something like to "do homeschooling," or "do math," or said "I want to learn."
I'm looking forward to homeschooling kindergarten, and I think we can make it a lot of fun and really worthwhile, though (possibly veering way off topic) right now I honestly rarely read the blogs that are more oriented toward day-to-day homeschooling or family life reports. I just feel too overwhelmed by the possibilities that I don't think would be able to be as a major a part of our homeschool/family life very soon, such as the crafts and the outings. It's like how I've never really enjoyed reading home/decorating type magazines because I know that I can't do the exact same thing I see in those pages with what I have, and for some reason I find myself more aware of limitations than inspired by ideas when looking at the finished product of what looks like such incredibly creative and competent people! -- I like to read more about ideas and theories and principles instead of day-to-day logs of what completely different people do with their completely different resources. I'm hoping to learn to love more the process of doing the best I can with what I have and instill that in my children.
I'm just glad homeschooling is now a relatively "mainstream" option -- I think its availability gives us so many more options to do what works well for our kids and our families, not at all ruling out school as a good option for some families, (probably still unfortunately the only realistic option for some,) even conceivably the best for my own children at some point. I tend to think it's more likely the older they get. I'm really excited about homeschooling the early years but by the time my kids are in high school I hope they'll be well enough formed that if we see better opportunities in an "away" school there is no reason not to take those opportunities.
Theresa
(hoping that made any sense -- I had some bad allergy symptoms and finally took Benadryl late to relieve them, now I'm sleepy and rambling on the Internet before going to bed...)
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Willa
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| Posted: May 08 2007 at 3:55am | IP Logged
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simplemama wrote:
Thank you though for reminding me that life does not have to be perfect to be good. :)
I just wonder sometimes if kids who are homeschooled have a generally happier life vs kids in school? They only have to fight with their brother/sisters but school has all the horrible gossip games and popularity games... |
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I do not know if my children are happier than their schooled peers. I am pretty sure that they are happier than they would be if they, specifically, were at school.
As you pointed out, there is a lot of stuff that they DON'T have to deal with. I think this makes their lives freer and more focused. A lot of those gossip and popularity games are so superfluous. It's not like they really help you deal with regular life. Usually, they drag you down and instill bad habits and coping mechanisms.
And a lot of the day to day stuff at school is about logistics -- handling a class rather than learning. Of course, there are times when the school environment and budget makes it possible to do things that are hard to do at home. I remember once being so envious when we were at the local school and saw child-sized real gardening tools. We couldn't afford those and I wished my kids had access to such things! But I think my kids would rather stay at home and use cut-down or adapted gardening equipment, than have to go through all the unnecessary time and space constraints at the school.
When they talk with schooled peers about their homeschooling, the peers' reaction divides into two general camps:
-- a sort of wistfulness -- you don't have to go through all that garbage. One kid on my son's baseball team was very aware of what the peer pressure games were doing to him, and he said he wished he could be out of that toxic environment.
or, a sort of puzzlement -- don't you get bored spending the whole day with your family? What do you do all day when you don't have to go to school?
My kids are usually puzzled in return -- what do you mean, bored? (Obviously, they are bored sometimes but that's not directly due to being at home; you can be bored anywhere). But they are not usually wistful in return. They usually feel rather relieved about missing out on the junk. So probably the bottom line is that they are happier being homeschooled, though I have definitely seen some happy-appearing and "together" public schooled kids, so I'm not trying to say it's all or nothing.
I like the bit about "life does not have to be perfect to be good". So true.
Theresa (insegnante) wrote:
Quote:
| sometimes it was wonderful and sometimes I was frustrated by things not working out as they had in my head, but there was a happiness in working through it, maybe learning or accomplishing something other than what we had set out to that day. |
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Yes, that describes the happiness you can experience even when you're not exactly FEELING happy.
Quote:
| I do get doubts sometimes - usually when people make comments about the opportunities in school etc. But Willa on this list has a quote in Real Learning - very heavily paraphrased - to the effect that "I want us all to be in heaven together, and homeschooling seems to be the best way to ensure this" (sorry Willa for the paraphrasing). And I really have to remind myself of this on struggling days when Christian behavior is sadly lacking in my kids (or myself!) |
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Me too! (thank you for the paraphrase). Even on the unChristian days I am glad for that opportunity to confront and tackle the problems. I'm GLAD in theory though I back away and avert my eyes sometimes. But when my kids were in school it was too easy to be unconnected because I didn't know what was going on or because I thought the experts were the ones to deal with the issues.
Again, not always FEELING happy when character or learning issues come up, but happy that I have the chance to tackle them in a responsive environment.
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Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
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guitarnan
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| Posted: May 08 2007 at 7:30am | IP Logged
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My son gave me more hugs the first week we homeschooled, five years ago now, than he had given me in the previous two years.
He was astonished to discover that he could make friends, because he'd spent most of grades K-4 being teased (he is taller and larger than most kids his age, and his dad is in the Navy).
He loves staying home, although he realizes it sets him apart from most teens in our area (it's still uncommon to homeschool in high school here).
My daughter thinks she's missing something by not being in traditional school, but I haven't had much difficulty convincing her she's safer at home. She is a social butterfly at heart and would prefer being around dozens and dozens of kids, but she can read our local headlines for herself (including the latest, in which a middle school girl had a hit list on MySpace which was reported to the school administrators by other students...administrators did nothing, until the newspaper found out ).
It's never easy to spend all day with your siblings...but it's way easier than being teased or ignored all day.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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ALmom
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I don't blog and have never done anything but homeschool. Yes, I am content, basically happy with homeschooling - but there are very stressful days, many doubts about whether I'm doing what I should be doing (not about homeschooling, but how I homeschool) and there is even the grass is greener syndrome when academic panic takes over because some child is stumped with some concept. I can see that there are things we give up by not sending our dc to school (most we are glad to give up but some that would have been nice) but we know that we are supposed to be homeschooling and we do it to the best of our ability. When we see dislike settling in, we try to stand back and assess (is it just a bad day, or is there something we need to change in how we are doing things). I think the awesome responsiblity is very overwhelming at times (esp for someone like me with perfectionist tendencies) but we love being together and working as a family to solve whatever.
All my youngest are so glad to be homeschooling (15, 13, 10,7, and 4). They don't always enjoy each individual day (sometimes I over schedule and they feel pressure, sometimes they just want to be doing something else, sometimes the noise distracts the olders from accomplishing what they want, and we have normal squabbles just like anyone else...) My oldest claimed she hated homeschooling for several years (starting about 8th grade) and we did it anyways. By the end of high school (esp. 11th and 12th) she began to see more of what she was gaining - but being very social, the lonliness was difficult at times. She appreciates it now and we all look back and know we made the right choice here for our family.
Janet
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simplemama
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| Posted: May 08 2007 at 9:11am | IP Logged
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I often am reminded that after God had made this wonderful perfect world he makes a very simple exclamation of his awe-some creation: "...God looked at everything he had made, and he found it very good..."
I think I just need to keep a folder of my ideas and each day or week just pick one creative idea and let the kids lead me the rest of the way mostly. Or maybe do at least one 'planned' project for each subject and let the rest just happen and be good. :)
I used to get bored all the time in school, especially high school, so it is true, boredom comes anywhere! Even to me a mom who has plenty to keep her busy! :)
I think I read somewhere though that boredom only comes when we start to think about what something/someone can do for us rather than what we can be doing for others/God.
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lapazfarm
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| Posted: May 08 2007 at 10:08am | IP Logged
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On boredom:
I was reading Cat in the Hat to my dd(5) yesterday and we read this part:
"Too wet to go out
and too cold to play ball.
So we sat in the house.
We did nothing at all.
So all we could do was to sit! sit! sit! sit!
And we did not like it.
Not one little bit."
My dd chimes in: "But why, Mommy? Why didn't they just read a book or play a game or something?"
I figure those kids must have been public schooled!
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Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
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Mary G
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Well, we just got back from a Museum trip -- MaryM's kids and mine were dicussing the benefits of hs vs "real" ... after having seen the way the kids acted in the museum, the rush to get through the exhibit so they could "play" and their general behavior ... ALL the kids in my van said they wouldn't want to go to "real" school because (among other reasons): you can't sleep in class, you waste so much time, you're stuck in the classroom instead of being outside, you learn just for the test and don't care about the subject, you just get what your mom packs for lunch (when you're hs'ed mom will make you what you want)
So from a representative sampling of 2 families with 3 + 2 kids, the resounding answer is HS - YES!
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MaryG
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my website that combines my schooling, hand-knits work, writing and everything else in one spot!
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simplemama
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hehe, that's great. I wonder though, did they get all that on their own or from eavesdropping on adult converstions of the subject?
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Mary G
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simplemama wrote:
| hehe, that's great. I wonder though, did they get all that on their own or from eavesdropping on adult converstions of the subject? |
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all I know is that they brought it up on their own and altho I was agreeing, the kids were leading the conversation.....and they have friends who are in "real" so I think they get it from there too
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MaryG
3 boys (22, 12, 8)2 girls (20, 11)
my website that combines my schooling, hand-knits work, writing and everything else in one spot!
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simplemama
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That's great they are able to understand and defend and appreciate what you do for them. :)
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: what about the kids?
