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Sarah
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| Posted: May 11 2006 at 2:39pm | IP Logged
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This must be on many moms' minds lately! I was thinking all morning of posting this and when I got online I saw Books' post 7th or 8th grade??. This made me even more nervous, since I think I really messed up.
PLEASE give me your opinions. This has been weighing on me for some time.
My first child started kindergarten just after turning 5 with a July birthday. He was sooo easy to teach. He is ahead of his age.
THEN, not realizing the error I was making I started my son #2 in kindergarten just as he turned 5 with a September birthday. Looking back--how stupid I was!
Now, as he is supposed to be entering 3rd grade, or so he thinks, he could NOT handle what schools would consider 3rd grade. He can barely read and write.
WHAT DO I DO NOW? 
If I tell him he's a 2nd grader again, am I basically telling him he's dumb? I think, since he's highly sensitive, he may really feel bad.
On the other hand, dh told me to tell him that I made the mistake of starting him too early. So I would emphasize that its my mistake and he is right where a 7 yo should be.
OR do I just say he's in third grade, but continue a lower level work. Is that dishonest?
This is weighing on me. Please help with your opinion. Am I overreacting?
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Six boys ages 16, 14, 11, 7, 5, 2 and one girl age 9
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Elizabeth
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| Posted: May 11 2006 at 3:16pm | IP Logged
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Sarah,
I think you can let them continue to think they are on grade level but you can also start to tell them that in your house high school lasts five years. Start with your husband's advice. Tell him that he started early, so he could "get a leg up" but that you think there's so much learning to do that you know it's going to take until [insert year here]. That date is going to sound so far away to him now, but really no further than a date the year before. As time goes on, he'll get used to the idea that he's "graduating" in 2000-whatever...My ds who is technically eighth grade age but still in seventh grade (and behind at that) is doing the eighth grade social things with the homeschool group and he'll be in the high school group next year for art. But he knows his high school is going to take 5 years.
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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MacBeth
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| Posted: May 11 2006 at 3:55pm | IP Logged
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Sarah, I refuse to use grades with the kids, except to say that "if he/she were in school..." and use the school's timetable when dealing with the school. Since I don't use texts, it does not matter what grade. What does matter is that the learning is real learning  , appropriate to the level of the individual child.
I had the kids who were old enough take the high school entrance exam when they were in 8th grade according to the school system. When Libby was applying to music school, I had her apply as an 8th grader going into 9th so she would get the most out of the total high school program. In both instances, these were the grades that the schools expect.
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MacBeth in NY
Don's wife since '88; "Mom" to the Fab 4
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Sarah
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| Posted: May 12 2006 at 2:52pm | IP Logged
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Thanks! Both of these responses have really helped me. I wish I never introduced the grade thing. I'm going to slowly phase that out and like Elizabeth said, I'll tell them that somewhere between 18-19 they will go to college, if that's the path they are taking.
The challenge comes when a well-meaning outsider asks, "What grade are you in?"
I really see the point in structuring their education in a very personal way--based on their ability, strenghts, and NOT what the schools say is appropriate.
Thanks for answering. It really helped me breath a sigh of relief.
I have three more kids coming up and I'm going to be more careful how I word things.
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Six boys ages 16, 14, 11, 7, 5, 2 and one girl age 9
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mary
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| Posted: May 12 2006 at 4:20pm | IP Logged
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so here's a question. let's say you phase out the grade to the child or answer k/1, etc. what grade do you test at if testing is required in your state (as it is mine)? my child turned 5 in september. he needs to be tested next spring. he has finished the sonlight k work but is a very shy boy. do i test him for k which will provide no useful information (if i find anything useful about these tests)? then, will he do FC when he is 7 whether you call that 1st or 2nd grade?
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Elizabeth
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| Posted: May 12 2006 at 4:25pm | IP Logged
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Mine receive First Communion when they are ready and my pastor is strongly supportive of it. He's about as unconcerned with grade levels as MacBeth is. Several of them have been 6.
For testing purposes, if you are testing to meet state standards, test for Kindergarten because that's the minimum you'll have to report to the state and if you test up a grade, you've just committed yourself to always testing up a grade. If you are testing for your pruposes and not reporting, test at whatever level is useful to you.
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: What grade?
