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Mackfam
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| Posted: Jan 23 2009 at 10:16am | IP Logged
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I'd like to start a general thread so we can all chat together and gather inspiration from each other on the habit of ORDER. I absolutely find so many lovely thoughts and ideas here on these boards that inspire me in this habit - and this time of year so many of us are reflecting on our homes, our days, their rhythm...can we chat together?
I'll start...but first let me offer this whole thread a disclaimer: These ideas are offerings from different families, different homes, different needs and different abilities. Take what you can from here, use it if it is good and is helpful. Leave it here if it is not useful for your family. These thoughts and ideas and postings are NOT meant to heap guilt, but rather to INSPIRE. When considering an idea or reflecting on Order - please do consider that our primary vocation is to be a wife and mother - it is relationship oriented. I love the prayer in my favorite prayer book (Mother Love):
Quote:
| Lord, may my home be a happy place in which to live and relax. Teach me to be concerned more about people than things. |
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Consider your season of life and be gentle on yourself as you see these ideas. I've been there in that season where God taught me to relax in His timing, to relax in the moment that He sent which did not leave me with the ability to accomplish anything I'm about to post. There is peace in trusting Him, His timing, and peace in mothering through the seasons of life.
Ok...disclaimer over.  Now, on to order and why I feel it is important. I suppose firstly because God is a God of ORDER. He does nothing randomly. He has beautifully gifted me in prayer a realization and an awe for the gentle way with which He moves through my soul, the very ordered way He moves. His movements are so purposeful and so thoughtful and ordered that I sometimes don't recognize them - they just flow with the rhythm of that season of life, that season of prayer. To move and effect change in me, He first has to get rid of the clutter in my soul - so He prunes - often painfully so, but always with the goal of getting my soul to heaven, of moving me forward in holiness. These are just my personal reflections on order - they are not the teachings of the Church  so take them with a HUGE grain of salt and for what they are...my rambling! So, that's all the philosophical waxing you'll get from me...whew!
I am a very visual person. Hardwired in this way, I need order - so much so that I cannot function without it. I cannot breathe, I cannot plan, I cannot focus, I cannot think beyond the dis-order. I'll give you a minute to stop laughing. Now, consider for a moment your children - do you have a child that is highly visual? Our husbands are often quite visual. You may not be in the least - but if someone in your family is...consider that their needs, their abilities may be seriously affected by a certain level of order.
Ok...now on to the practicals!  What does it look like in my home? Well, my rhythms are ever-evolving. As I've said before, I love tweaking and I'm always tweaking these plans and I'm longing for all of you to share so that I might borrow a few more ideas from you and tweak even more. 
My plan is dependent on layers of focus:
~ Seasonal Cleaning Rhythms - winter, spring, summer, fall (Often this coincides perfectly with liturgical seasons of penance and purging - Lent in spring, Advent in winter, Ember Days in summer and fall)
For seasonal cleaning I do the most work. I go through my entire house, but only one room at a time. I stand inside that room, asking myself if it is serving its intended purpose well. I empty shelves, cupboards, closets and as I empty - I purge!!! That's a biggie! And it was hard for me at first - I'm a sentimental person. Detachment is a hard trait to embrace. I have learned/am still learning that God has generously gifted my family with a number of material possessions to accomplish the tasks He has set before us. It is ok to use those "things". But, if "things/possessions" start getting in the way of our vocation, if they are a distraction from Him, a clutter pile, or just no longer useful - I should move them out of the home and into someone else's hands that can make use of that material thing. It's just a matter of shifting the focus from "this is mine" to "this is His and He loaned it to us for awhile." So, I purge - brutally! (Now, I'm not advocating you get rid of everything - after all, I still have my red, rectangle Tupperware lunchbox I carried in the 4th grade. Why? Just cuz' I guess! ) And, I don't purge the beautiful (you know, those things in your home that don't serve a tangible purpose but DO lift the heart and mind to God in prayer?) - I keep things that are beautiful because it is SOOOO important to make a connection in every room with the supernatural - with God! He is present, leave out beautiful reminders for yourself and your family that He is there, just behind the veil of the natural world and that all *this stuff* is His and for Him.
- Useful Tools:
*A room set aside (to empty items you've purged into - could be a garage, or a peaceful takeover of a space - either way, you need a space to empty into)
*Laundry baskets
*Bins
*White, heavy duty trash bags (white so you can label them and see what's in them)
*Sharpie markers for labeling
Purge and re-order every room as you go, emptying into your "room set aside". Focus on only one room at a time!!!! Don't get caught up in trying to do the whole house! Be intuitive about the placement of items in a room. You might think the legos fit better up there on that shelf, but be realistic...if they're going to just be on the floor anyway, give them a bin and a home under the train table and let them live on the floor.
When you're done with the house (and sending me hate mail for even suggesting this monumental task ) pile up all of the give-away into your van and give it away...that week! Don't let it sit there and tempt you and other sentimental and very grabby children! Involve your children in this process. It is painful pruning for them, but so important for us to teach detachment now! Don't give away their favorite truck even if it has a broken wheel...there is room for a favorite truck and a red Tupperware lunchbox in all of our homes.
~ Weekly Cleaning Rhythms
So, if my seasonal cleaning and de-cluttering has been accomplished, my weekly cleaning is all about maintenance. But, it has to be done.
Each Saturday (ok, every now and then I skip a Saturday) I accomplish my weekly cleaning checklist. I made lists for myself and my children so that each week we're consistent and the children are very clear about my expectations. If you have involved the children in the seasonal cleaning of their rooms, they know where everything in their room is supposed to live. Think through the cleaning of their rooms, equip them with the tools they need, give them a detailed checklist if you have to and let them clean.
- Useful Tools:
*Detailed checklists for yourself and the children
*Laundry baskets
*I like to set up white plastic dishwashing tubs with cleaning supplies - I have 2 set up, if you have more children you might have 3 or so. These contain rags for cleaning, dishwashing soap, containers of vinegar and baking soda - whatever you use for your weekly cleaning spree - all set up and in a bin for use.
Each week I:
*Tidy the house - everything back to its place.
*Vacuum the house
*Clean bathrooms
*Tidy my kitchen
The children help me with a lot of that. It's a full day.
~ Daily Tidying Rhythms
Notice how with each descending layer, my maintenance level of work is less and less? That's important because by the time we get to here...the daily rhythm...I have found that I don't have time to do any big cleaning or big projects. I have time in my day for lessons, laundry, meals, and one quick tidy.
Quick Tidy - This takes place just before Daddy gets home in the evening. Each day is dependent on the day before's Quick Tidy having been accomplished. A Quick Tidy takes 15 minutes in my house. I announce the time and turn on happy music...I equip my children with small, round laundry baskets and say, "Go!" Sometimes, I comment that it looks like a tornado has been through the house, so for Quick Tidy I tell them to all be backwards tornados - pick up everything in your path and put it in the basket. (By the way, we Quick Tidy only downstairs in the living areas - kitchen, front hall, learning room, living room.) Once everything is picked up, they empty baskets and put items away. I keep a large wicker basket at the bottom of my stairs, if a book or toy migrated downstairs during the day, it is put in this basket during Quick Tidy. The stairs basket is emptied upstairs daily. IF you've purged and de-cluttered through the seasons, and IF you do your best to keep up with weekly cleaning this daily quick tidy really can be accomplished with a great level of satisfaction! Daddy comes home to a tidied home! Another side benefit is if you have company that is coming over, it should take you and your children 15 minutes to tidy and make the home inviting and welcoming.
- Useful Tools:
*Fun, happy music
*Laundry baskets
*A catch-all basket somewhere in your house for random items to land in during the day
This is a gi-normous post!!! Good grief!!! And, I thought I went on and on over here - on Kim's scheduling issue thread! Please forgive me if all of this rambling is nonsensical! But, I'd love it if it springboards some fruitful conversations about how you cultivate the habit of order in your home and what your homemaking rhythms look like! Please do share with me! Surely you can see that my lists aren't long enough!!
__________________
Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19 , ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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CatholicMommy
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| Posted: Jan 23 2009 at 10:31am | IP Logged
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The last 3 years, I've really been able to focus at the start of Advent and Lent to really purge, minimize and make those hard choices about what to give away and what to keep... It has been SO lightening for me - and makes it easier the next time around! (first, because there's less to it and 2nd because I've gone several more months or a year and STILL not used that item, so now I KNOW it's time...). We still have a clutter problem, but when I think where it started! 
I just had to re-vamp or daily and weekly cleaning routines for our new situations - and that's just it, as Jennifer said to start out, it's what works for every family - and every adjustment to the family will require some adjustments in addressing their needs....
We had a daily system with a weekly focus incorporated in - now we've got lighter daily stuff and then Saturday is our weekly focus. Every week focuses on one-fourth of our home (including the outdoor area and van!).
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CrunchyMom
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| Posted: Jan 23 2009 at 11:17am | IP Logged
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I am learning to love order. Well, I think I've always loved order, but I'm learning to ACQUIRE order and make it a priority.
For instance, I went YEARS without making my bed unless I was washing the sheets or had company coming. YEARS. Now, I've managed to make my bed consistently enough that when it isn't made, it nags at me. I think it nagged at me before, only I didn't hear it or understand what it was that was nagging at me. Or perhaps I didn't hear it until it was SCREAMING at me. My goal is to work to become so sensitive that it merely has to whisper  , but I'm not there yet.
So maybe that was completely out there, but I do agree with your philosophical assessment, and I even had a priest relay as much (in more words, if you can imagine ) during confession. I think we all crave order, but like a lot of other things, we can become desensitized over time.
Also, having a highly ordered child is helpful. Praise God my eldest takes after his very German minded father and not his flakey mother in this regard! Once I finally got the playroom situated so that everything has a place, HE is able to keep the stuff there far better, I'm afraid, than I would alone. He is even very insistent that a new place be created (by me) for new things which helps keep me on task!
I will say that living in an 1100 square foot row home is an efficient way to be forced into orderly habits. I'm careful about what we bring into the house, and things get out of control FAST when one spilled puzzle makes it look like an entire room is messy. We still have a ways to go (some day, our basement will be organized, some day!), but like the previous post, when I think of where we have come from, I can see definite progress!
__________________
Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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Sarah M
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| Posted: Jan 23 2009 at 11:19am | IP Logged
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My cleaning routine is spread out through the week. I work at my part-time job most weekends, and so I am unable to make a weekend day my big day for cleaning. So I just spread jobs around the whole week. The upside is that I don't have a "cleaning day", which I would surely dread. The downside is that my house is rarely all sparkly clean at once. If the floor are clean, the bathroom isn't... but I can live with that because I know that there is time set aside for cleaning the bathroom on a different day. This is big for me- I get overwhelmed if there is not time set aside. If the floors are sticky and the bathroom's a mess and the laundry is spilling out of the hamper, I panic if there is not time set aside specifically for each of these tasks to be done.
So here's how I do it. Keep in mind that my children are all still relatively young- the 7yo helps out, but otherwise, I'm it. So I remember that this season of life dictates that our house will not be as tidy or clean as it (hopefully) will be when I have more able-bodied helpers.
Daily: wash dishes, tidy bathroom, neaten house
Monday: Laundry, clean floors, tidy master bedroom
Tuesday: Pay bills, file paperwork, tidy ds's room, project (more on "project" later)
Wednesday: clean bathroom, tidy girls room
Thursday: Laundry, clean floors, dust
Friday: Write grocery list for next week
Saturday: Laundry & write next week's lessons
This way, my floors get cleaned twice a week, laundry gets done twice a week, and everything else (like bathroom scrubbing and dusting, tidying bedrooms) get some attention once each week. If things go awry (as they often do)- kids get sick, we have an unexpected amount of outings, or I just am too tired or busy to tend to the day's chores, I just skip them, knowing that it will come up for another turn in a week or so. Really, skipping a bathroom cleaning or a dusting for one week isn't so bad, and this seems to happen more frequently when the weather is nice and we are all outdoors more.
Now for the deep cleaning. I spread these out, too, instead of doing them all at once. I assign "projects" to Tuesdays, and I spend a good hunk of Tuesday afternoon getting one of these projects done. That way one "big" thing gets done each week, and I feel like things aren't getting out of hand. As Jennifer said, without regular purging and deep cleaning, things get out of hand really quickly!
In January, May, and September, I use Tuesdays to wash windows, rotate kids' clothing, do seasonal decorating, and plan the next season's menus (I use a two-week rotating menu that stays the same for 3 months at at a time- at this point, it works beautifully). In Febraury, June, and October, I focus on bedrooms- I clean under beds, closets, inside dressers, and generally purge the kids rooms of broken/mismatched toys and random bits of garbage/junk that seems to collect there. In March, July, and November, I purge and clean all the closets in the house- the utility closet, the coat closet, the bathroom closet, and the art shelf. In April and August, I give the kitchen a deep clean- I clean out the oven, empty and wipe out hte drawers and cupboards, scrub off the top of the fridge (yuck), scour the kitchen table and chairs, and wipe down the walls. I don't do any deep cleaning in December- there' just too much else going on.
I post this schedule on my fridge (I formatted it prettily and added an inspiring quote), to remind each day of what needs to be done. Since the work is spread out over the weeks/months, it doesn't seem to overwhelm me. There's a bit of work to be done each day. More to be done on days we are home all day (like Mondays and Tuesdays), less to be done on Fridays, when we are gone all day with atrium sessions and Little Flowers.
I stress out so much less operating on this routine, and I *usually* feel like the house is in decent shape. Like I said, rarely is the whole kit and caboodle totally clean, but I'm okay with that.
For now.
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10 Bright Stars
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| Posted: Jan 23 2009 at 11:43am | IP Logged
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Printing, printing again, Jennifer and Sarah!! I will enjoy this new thread!! Perfect timing.
__________________
Kim married to Bob (22y)
Mom of 11 blessings:
Bobby 19, David 17, Noah 14,
Mary 12, Gracie 10,
Isabelle and Sophia 8,
Gabrielle 6,
William Anthony 4, Joseph 3 and Luisa Marie - born in M
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Willa
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| Posted: Jan 23 2009 at 11:44am | IP Logged
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Jennifer, I love your filtering system. It reminds me of those toys kind of like layered hourglasses, with different size balls. When you turn them over the big balls get stopped first, then the middle sized balls, then the smallest ones go to the bottom.
I usually think of the daily things as the cornerstone and then go upwards from there but I am going to try to think of it the other way around for a while -- it seems to make more sense that way.
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AMDG
Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
Take Up and Read
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ALmom
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| Posted: Jan 23 2009 at 1:48pm | IP Logged
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Oh my this is one area I need very badly. I have a few very orderly people and truth be told, until children, the garage was immaculate because it was dh space and I didn't really go in there except to get in the car. I think I only have 2 children who are naturally orderly out of our 6. I have to do a lot of reminding. If our house is to stay in any kind of order at all, then we must all pick up after ourselves each and every time we pull something out. Instead of picking it up myself for someone, I call them in to get it. I wish someone would do that for me! I'm trying and getting better a little at a time. We are working on this. One of the biggest helps here was discovering whether we were vertical or horizontal organizers. I am a pile person and file cabinets, and those slotted organizers have never ever helped me. I have at least one child that is a pile maker like me. We had to get different tools.
One son has a shelf on his table (with doors) so he can pile his schoolwork however it is easy for him to find when he needs - but the doors can be closed for my visually distracted others. It has meant the difference between hunting for assignments scattered on the floor (because they were piled on his desk and someone knocked it off accidently or the fan blew it). Now that his desk doesn't look like a junk collection spot, people are less likely to use his desk as a dumping ground. I needed an orderly way to make my piles so dh built me a small set of shelves by my desk and we have been buying many, many notebooks.
Putting addresses in a 3 - ring binder has solved our overflowing index card box where nothing got filed but just got stuffed willy nilly with a thousand pieces of paper. (It got worse and worse the more people who began to use these index files) Now when we look up a number, we pull out the binder (photo pages hold the old cards so they cannot wander) and nothing gets misplaced. I've done the same thing with recipes. Now when 3 disorganized people cook, we are not forever stuffing recipes willy, nilly back in the box, we simply close the notebook and put it back in it's spot. Somehow we are all able to maintain this, while putting cards back was ridiculous. Chicken recipes were never ever filed behind meat in my index box. Actually I found 3 and 4 written copies of the same recipe because I'd had to call in a panic to one of my siblings wondering if they could give me the recipe again as I was in the middle of dinner and even after pulling out every single card one by one couldn't find my recipe .
Eventually all my bits of paper with notes of ideas for seasonal or liturgical devotions will be organized in binders as well. I'm excited to think of the day when all this paper isn't floating willy nilly. I know lots of folks do this on the computer - but I am so disorganized on the computer and in my house if the idea is stored there, I won't find it or it won't get pulled. I might have to put a not for some of the things I have stored on the computer in my binder under the day so they do get used.
Oh, and throwing out stuff is going to be a big clue. We finally threw out the thousands of dead Christmas light strings that we had been using for spare bulbs. We recreated as many working strings this year as we could and the rest went out the door, except a handful of individual lights that would work as replacements. It just wasn't worth the time using the volt meter or whatever it was to test one thing at a time to salvage. Being frugal and re-tasking was beginning to interfere with our ability to organize and be efficient. It was time to dump. We'd reused these things for over 20 + years. Now our Advent and Christmas stuff is organized in a few neat bins and stored in a closet in the garage.
My dh is a horizontal organizer. All the file cabinets he got me to help with organizing are now his organizers. They actually help him. I have a couple of stackable ones but they will only be useful in keeping up with what must be graded. They just don't have enough space for my resources for each child.
We are consolidating all the financial, bill type stuff (dh primarily) with a plan to have one small vertical organizer in the kitchen for his immediate needs. The rest of the stuff will eventually get filed in the file cabinets or tossed.
I'm thinking the seasonal cleaning is the biggie clue for me. I haven't gotten it down yet but the one room at a time, even if it takes several days or even months really helps me. Once the house has less stuff, maybe order won't be quite so overwhelming.
As far as daily routines, there are just a few things that generally do get done. These are things pegged routinely - ie I always throw in laundry as I rotate working with a child. It is a bit harder without my sofa which is where laundry used to always get dumped and thus had to be folded pretty quickly . Now that is in a basket, it stays there too long. I really am looking forward to finding a sofa for our living area.
The other essential is developing the art of delegation. I was never a good group person so my tendency is to do it myself. My dh periodically reminds me that I should not be doing x or y or z because it is so and so's chore. It is really helpful for me to have a list of chores along with who the chore belongs to and a periodic review of this (children get older and if we don't revisit this the 6 yo is still only doing what he did at 3 and isn't developing what he needs to develop). When I try to do it all myself, I became frazzled and haphazard. This generally happens when I cannot remember who has what chore. Setting things down with specific times (even if our routine shifts to a different time) lets me know whether or not my picture is realistic. My tendency is to think we can do it all, and do it perfectly. It is totally unrealistic, usually, and I have to go through several reiterations to get things into a realistic routine so they get done.
I have no sense of time which does not help at all. I have thought about having a timer for me. I will honestly think only a few minutes have passed and it is almost time for dh to get home and I'm in a frazzle to make up for lost time, while trying to wrap up whatever discussion or task was at hand. Telling my dc that I don't have a sense of time helped them immensely. They now know to mention the time if something is dragging out .
Oh, one thing that helped with bathroom order was to put a spray bottle of vinegar in there and some cleaning rags with a place to put them when done. We had to get the habit of wiping the toilet down so this did not get so out of control that it took an entire morning on Saturday just to clean the smallest bathroom. Each child was thouroughly trained in cleaning this room - and having to clean messes so frequently they began to connect how their postponing or rushing at the last minute was creating a tremendous load of work and things are much, much improved!
We are moving one tiny step at a time.
My biggie - how do you handle the older children's collections of "stuff". (They must have learned this from me  so obviously I am working on my own problems here and improving. I can throw out my own stuff - or give it away. I cannot do that with theirs). I have at least one highly sentimental child who has saved even broken childhood toys because of the memories. I also have all the piles and piles of paper memorabilia from life. We have been giving the gift of scrapbooks and supplies since this obviously helps. The younger sentimentals have overcome it when I make them do all the moving and throwing away while I sit in the middle of the room asking, where does this go. I start with the stuff that looks worthwhile to me, and by the time we get to the trash, the child is so tired of doing stuff, they tell me to throw it away . I have a big garbage bag in hand for just such a purpose. Also the children used to pass on their treasures - but I've gotten to the point where I don't allow this much anymore unless it really is something I think would benefit the younger child. It was one way the olders used to avoid getting rid of stuff they'd outgrown but still had sentimental attachements too. Maybe we should have a photo taken and filed and be done with it.
I've also started to turn down those boxes of things to go through or I go through them surreptiously before anyone else sees them so I can take boxes and boxes around to other folks. My mil thankfully is down to consumables so it is easy to pull out a few bottles of shampoo and toothpaste and share the rest of the lifetime supply with others. I'm currently overrun with rulers. Please, anyone local, do not buy rulers. Come to my place!!!!!
I have tried to work things where I don't have too much on the floor (our thankfully solved flea problem made me aware of this in a real way). If I have to move a lot of stuff in order to vacuum, then it becomes too big a task. Baskets of books need the corner of a fireplace mantle or a table top with a few exceptions. All the exceptions really do add to our work, so these most be carefully thought out. It takes a long time to vacuum here.
I'm going to be watching this for lots of ideas. I am hopelessly in need of sensitizing and ideas!
Janet
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Cheryl
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| Posted: Jan 23 2009 at 1:53pm | IP Logged
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Jennifer,
I love talking about the habit of order. (Although working on it is much harder for me.) I recently wrote a post on my blog about the habits I've been working on with my family. I don't have time right now to read this whole thread, but I'll be back later.
__________________
Cheryl
Wife to Bob ('97)
Mom to Matthew 13, Joseph 11, Sarah 10, Rachel 6, Hannah almost 4 and Mary 1
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Jan 23 2009 at 2:11pm | IP Logged
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I can aquire order
but it leaves again so quickly
seriously I am trying and I'll be back to read better.. and hopefully join in the conversation.
__________________
Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Mackfam
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| Posted: Jan 23 2009 at 4:36pm | IP Logged
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CatholicMommy wrote:
| The last 3 years, I've really been able to focus at the start of Advent and Lent to really purge, minimize and make those hard choices about what to give away and what to keep... It has been SO lightening for me - and makes it easier the next time around! |
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I've noticed this too and it is a comfort...that with each seasonal cleaning, I'm getting the house less and less cluttered on the whole and the task isn't quite so big as it was that very first time I really started seasonal cleaning in earnest. I'm glad I stuck with it! And, I'm really glad you brought up that point, CatholicMommy!
CrunchyMom wrote:
| I will say that living in an 1100 square foot row home is an efficient way to be forced into orderly habits. I'm careful about what we bring into the house, and things get out of control FAST when one spilled puzzle makes it look like an entire room is messy. |
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I was thinking about this point you made, Lindsay and how most of us live in every square inch of our homes. In order to be good stewards of the space we have, we have to manage that space as well as the "stuff" in it so that it is accessible and use-able - otherwise it just takes over. I think orderliness is also an expression of stewardship. If I can't find something...a book, a manipulative, my notes...I'm not being a good steward of those things or my time since I must then spend ridiculous amounts of time hunting for them or $$ replacing them.
Sarah M wrote:
| My cleaning routine is spread out through the week. I work at my part-time job most weekends, and so I am unable to make a weekend day my big day for cleaning. |
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I am soooo glad you mentioned this, Sarah. I finally felt like I was holding my head above water after reading through Kim's blog (Starry Sky Ranch) and especially her Home Management Journal Project. Her focus days (which is exactly what you're doing) are exactly what got me finally pointed in the right direction. Changing one day to a cleaning blitz day (my Saturday) was the best answer for my family, but I am really happy that you mentioned your focus day system because that is a real answer for other families.
Eight Wonders wrote:
| I will enjoy this new thread!! |
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I'm so glad Kim! I'm really enjoying it as well! How refreshing to hash this out here and have some new ideas for spring cleaning!
Willa wrote:
| I usually think of the daily things as the cornerstone and then go upwards from there |
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I did too, Willa - for the longest time! And I was always so frustrated because I could never seem to catch up...never seem to feel like I was maintaining, I was always just reacting to the stuff and the routines were just spitting on a huge fire here.
ALMom wrote:
| how do you handle the older children's collections of "stuff". |
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Can you have your husband install one nice, deep wall mounted shelf for each child above their beds or somewhere in their rooms? This gives some boundaries to their space and their collections. It also says to siblings that this is "personal collection space" and not for uninvited perusal. I mean, within reason - yk, if one of the kids has an unusually large but very special collection of something you could make accomodations. But, this shelf space is finite...so if they acquire more treasures something may have to leave the shelf to make room. Also, a shelf installed say at 5 or 6 ft up in a room (a little lower for the younger ones) gets collections off the floor (horizontal surface) giving more space for living and playing and moves it up (on another horizontal surface). You could provide bins or baskets for smaller collections on the shelf.
I do know what you mean about not being able to throw away their stuff though, Janet. Do you have little-ish treasured memory boxes for each of the kids? You probably do. Just having a place to toss the shredded and well-loved blankie that I will never, ever in a million years part with at least keeps it from floating about.
Cheryl wrote:
| I recently wrote a post on my blog about the habits I've been working on with my family. I'll be back later. |
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I loved your post, Cheryl! It is all about committing to the routine and making it a habit, isn't it! I'll trade prayers with you!!
I'll admit that I'm hardwired for order, but I'll also tell you that staring down a cluttered house (which I have done - before putting it on the market) is super daunting! I knew then that there was too much stuff in our lives, that we were living wastefully and that *I* wasn't being a good steward. In reflection, over the years since then there seems to have been a little bit of momentum that gratefully accompanies this habit. It seems that over the years, the more I seasonal purge, the more the habit of orderliness is a part of the rhythm of this family, the more this habit seems to propel itself forward. Sort of like Lindsay pointed out with her son - he insists now that a new thing must have a home or a space.
JodieLyn wrote:
| seriously I am trying and I'll be back to read better.. and hopefully join in the conversation. |
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I can't wait, Jodie. You have really awesome intuition and practical suggestions!!!
Keep these wonderful reflections and ideas coming ladies! I'm loving all the different expressions of order and homemaking here!
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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Connections
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| Posted: Jan 23 2009 at 4:48pm | IP Logged
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SO Timely!
JUST today I decided to start working on a Home Management Binder.
I am enjoying this thread greatly!
Generally, I use an approach similar to Sarah's- a little each day. I have to think more about deep cleaning and de-cluttering and schedule those in. Right now I usually do them when I "feel" it is time.
I just finished typing up winter menu plans to rotate through (I used to simply make plans once a week but this seems much better!) Now I need to gather all my recipes to make the shopping lists easier.
I asked my husband, who is generally in charge of car, exterior and yard maintenance, if he would like to add lists and he is looking forward to creating them.
Balancing my desire for order with the reality of homeschooling is a challenge!
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Blessings,
Tracey
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JodieLyn
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something I learned from a lady I know online.. and I'm trying out today partly because the rest of the week wasn't so great is
Friday home ec day
which basically means we school 4 days and then really clean the house on fridays.. our school district has a 4 day week M-Th as well so I have the added incentive of the neighborhood kids and cousins not being in school and nobody is doing nothing until the whole house is cleaned today.
then the house is clean over the weekend so we can spend more time with dh and hopefully make it easier to keep up with the rest of the week. But since somehow I have to get it all cleaned to start with.. this seems like a really good plan.. we may add in some school on fridays once we get a better routine going.. but mostly I think we can manage with a 4 day school week.
(mom gets a few mintues on the computer here and there mostly because I'm sitting with baby )
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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LisaD
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Oh, I NEED order. I wish I had someone to hold my hand through the entire process of bringing order to my home. I have read every book out there on de-cluttering. I have made a lovely home management notebook (which sorely needs updating). Yet, I feel so very overwhelmed when faced with actually doing it.
What makes me most long for order, is knowing that my present example is a grave disservice to my children. I need to consistently require daily chores be done by my children (but what, and how?), and I need to consistently do my own chores, too! I am thinking that since I am such a morning person, perhaps we should start our days doing chores, tidying and cleaning, and start schooling later in the morning or after lunch.
I want a tidy house. I NEED a tidy house. I will be reading this thread with great interest.
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~Lisa
Mama to dd(99), ds(01), ds(03) and ds(06)
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Willa
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JodieLyn wrote:
Friday home ec day
which basically means we school 4 days and then really clean the house on fridays.. o |
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We've done something like this for years. ... we don't do housework Sunday and I don't even maintain much because I try to save the day for family time, rest, fun cooking and so on. So the house is trashed by Monday -- it certainly doesn't take long! Several years ago we started having a "half day" of academics on Monday plus a thorough cleaning as a group.
When there were more mess-makers and the group was younger we had two "half-days/cleaning days" -- MOnday and Thursday... for incentive, they would get their screen time after the work was done. Now it's not quite so structured but we still have the basic Monday habit in place. For us it makes a nice start to the week.
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Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
Take Up and Read
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DominaCaeli
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Loving the discussion here!
Purging and the other big, seasonal kinds of projects are not really an issue for me--those are the kinds of tasks I like to do. They aren't on any set schedule because I always seem to get them done without much prompting. I like the satisfaction that comes from completing a big project like that, and I'm an organization junkie--I hate clutter! So I find myself purging closets, revamping drawers, going through the files, and rearranging the storage bins fairly frequently. I also get nesting urges around the changes of liturgical season, so Advent and Lent usually find me doing deep cleaning whether I schedule for it or not. But I do love schedules!
The more maintenance-based tasks are the ones that I have to schedule for or else they don't get done consistently or I begin to feel overwhelmed. My cleaning tasks are divided into daily, weekly, and monthly chores.
Weekly: I used to schedule a few cleaning tasks a day to handle during the kids' naps, so the cleaning was spread throughout the week. That didn't work well for me. I felt like I never had a break from the cleaning--there was always something on the agenda that made it difficult to work on more project-type work during the only real chunk of free time I had during the day. So I moved all my cleaning to Fridays and made it a day of penance. Having it all on one day works well for me: I already have my cleaning supplies out so it is easy to move from task to task, I'm already mentally in "cleaning mode," the house looks lovely for the weekend once I'm finished, and I can spend the other days of the week on other tasks that take a significant chunk of time all at once rather than having just "bits" of time available to me. The last few weeks, as I'm nearing the end of this pregnancy, I have split my one cleaning day into two: upstairs on Thursdays, downstairs on Fridays. It's not ideal for me, but I just don't have quite enough energy to cram it all into one big cleaning event. If we're having company on Friday, I move my cleaning day to Thursday. If I'm sick on Friday, I move it to the weekend or to Monday. But it all gets done eventually.
The other foundation of my weekly chores are Saturday nights, which is when we prepare for our work-free Sundays. We have a list of small chores that need to be done on a weekly basis to leave Sundays free, and Saturday nights are also when we handle the little things that crop up and need to be taken care of before the week begins. That time can be tiring, but it serves as a welcome catch-all for us, and it is so nice to spend a restful Sunday in a clean home--so, definitely worth it.
Daily: There are only a few chores for me that need to be done on a daily/every-other-day basis. For our home situation (size of home, ages of children), those tasks are sweeping, cleaning the kitchen, cooking-related chores, restocking the diapers, laundry, and maybe a couple other things. These chores are pegged to my daily routine so they are easy to keep up with.
Monthly: This is one area in which I have learned to let go a bit. There are many chores that I only do monthly (or every two months) that I would really prefer to have done weekly--and that I used to do weekly, before we had children. But it was just too much! My husband has helped me prioritize in this area--so if it isn't important to him, it goes on a monthly list rather than a weekly list. He doesn't really care if the shower is cleaned weekly, so it isn't--it's only cleaned monthly. I am a perfectionist struggling to be a realist, and taking his advice in this area has helped me in this regard. So I have a list that I handle on First Fridays of those household chores that need to be done but don't *really* need to be done weekly.
My personality is very order-oriented, but I can also be very lazy (or just plain busy!), so making schedules and routines holds me accountable and keeps me on track. My order-related challenge right now is my children: being two years old, they seem to be in a sensitive period for orderliness. They love stacking, sorting, lining up, cleaning up. So now I am trying to encourage that in them and to let them "help" in ways that actually contribute to the order of the home rather than detract from it.
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Blessings,
Celeste
Joyous Lessons
Mommy to six: three boys (8, 4, newborn) and four girls (7, 5, 2, and 1)
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Mackfam
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DominaCaeli wrote:
The other foundation of my weekly chores are Saturday nights, which is when we prepare for our work-free Sundays. We have a list of small chores that need to be done on a weekly basis to leave Sundays free, and Saturday nights are also when we handle the little things that crop up and need to be taken care of before the week begins. That time can be tiring, but it serves as a welcome catch-all for us, and it is so nice to spend a restful Sunday in a clean home--so, definitely worth it.
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I like this idea very much. I'm always so heartened on Saturday evening when the house is tidied and I feel I have *earned* a day of rest on Sunday. Trouble is...somehow the big glass of juice always meets the clean kitchen floor on Sunday. sigh.
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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10 Bright Stars
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I don't know if this has much to do with the subject of "the rhythm of homemaking" but I think I learned today how important and productive life can be today if you:
1. get up EARLY
2. say your prayers first in the morning, in a relaxed and abandoned way instead of just doing them with a "rushed" spirit.
Before the kids got up today, since I was up early, I read/prayed ALL of "Catholic Prayer Book for Mothers" by Donna-Marie Cooper O'Boyle which was JUST the shot of insipration I needed today! Then, I made homemade cinnamon raisin bisquits, hard-boiled eggs, which I peeled and had ready to go etc. I woke the kids when I was ready, not vice versa and I think they were shocked to see something besides cereal! (Other than on a weekend.) And, they awoke to a Mom ready for the day instead of knocked over by each wave that came at me!
So, as a very NON morning person, I must admit that perhaps BECOMING a morning person is THE KEY to success in this homeschooling, mothering adventure along with non-rushed morning prayer. If we give the proper first fruits of time to God in the morning, He pays back and then some.
We also try to get things ready on Saturday night as Jennifer mentioned. If we don't, I can't TELL YOU the heart attack I have almost had trying to find shoes for the twins (and others too) on Sunday mornings with 5 minutes to walk out the door. We always find two LEFT shoes!!!! So, that has been a real lifesaver around here.
So, perhaps a good things to note in the rhythm of homemaking is the importance of promptness in rising and faithfulness to our daily prayer time. (Even if we don't think we have "enough time" to do this well or at all, we have to or we are trying to drive with no gas etc. Mother Theresa comes to mind in the way she had her nuns spend so many hours in prayer!)
Loving all of these great ideas! Thanks again for the prayers. They seem to be working!!
__________________
Kim married to Bob (22y)
Mom of 11 blessings:
Bobby 19, David 17, Noah 14,
Mary 12, Gracie 10,
Isabelle and Sophia 8,
Gabrielle 6,
William Anthony 4, Joseph 3 and Luisa Marie - born in M
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Angel
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Just printed all this out and read it through... I have to admit, though, that it required a deep breath before plunging in.
I'm not sure I have anything really ordered to say . I always think it's interesting when naturally ordered people describe themselves as being highly visual because I consider myself highly visual, too, but in the opposite way -- if I can't SEE something, it might as well not even exist because it will totally exit my memory. Therefore, I can't put anything important away. I joke to my husband that in my ideal house I would have a room completely covered in bulletin boards, and I would just be able to pin up any piece of mail I needed to deal with, any note I wanted to revisit, any records I needed to keep, etc. etc. I am also very non-sequential, which means I have a hard time making a plan and then sticking to it, or finishing anything without heading off to do 4 other things in the middle.
***Edited: I just deleted most of this post because it didn't really stay on topic and instead wandered off into all my difficulties. I promise that I will be more coherent after I get some sleep! We really have made progress in keeping the house more orderly, but it is a very, very slow process.***
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Angela
Mom to 9, 7 boys and 2 girls
Three Plus Two
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Orderliness - The Rhythm of Homemaking
