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pumpkinmom
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| Posted: Jan 03 2013 at 7:06pm | IP Logged
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Ugh! That's how I feel today. I just realized today that I'm horrible at time management. Well, not horrible, but I need improvement. I guess number one goal would be less time online.  Oh, I know!
My question to you, what is one thing that you do that helps you the most in getting everything done?
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Cassie
Homeschooling my little patch of Ds-14 and Ds-10
Tending the Pumpkin Patch
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Aagot
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Get everything done???? I am right there with you, waiting for an answer. Sorry no help from this time management flunkie.
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Becky Parker
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I'm waiting for the answer too! I think though, that I get the most done when I am reasonable with what I can do in the amount of time I have, and when I make a list.
If I try to cram too much into my list, I just get overwhelmed, throw up my hands in despair, and come to 4Real Forums for escape! 
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Becky
Wife to Wes, Mom to 6 wonderful kids on Earth and 4 in Heaven!
Academy Of The Good Shepherd
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pumpkinmom
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Perhaps I should edit the question to what works on a good day. I see many moms on these forums getting it done, perhaps not all the time, but they are doing better than me.
Oh, being reasonable! I'm not good at figuring out what is reasonable for me. Something to experiment with.
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Cassie
Homeschooling my little patch of Ds-14 and Ds-10
Tending the Pumpkin Patch
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Becky Parker
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Years ago I read Managers of Their Homes and the author had the reader do an exercise where you write on a list every possible thing you do during the day, from showering to preparing dinner, to taking your dc to practice, to sleeping ... You gave each item an estimated amount of time. Then you added the total. My first list put me at well over 24 hours! That was a good sign to me that I was not being reasonable with the amount of time I had in a day, especially if I wanted to sleep at all.
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Becky
Wife to Wes, Mom to 6 wonderful kids on Earth and 4 in Heaven!
Academy Of The Good Shepherd
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mom2mpr
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Becky Parker wrote:
| Years ago I read Managers of Their Homes and the author had the reader do an exercise where you write on a list every possible thing you do during the day, from showering to preparing dinner, to taking your dc to practice, to sleeping ... You gave each item an estimated amount of time. Then you added the total. My first list put me at well over 24 hours! That was a good sign to me that I was not being reasonable with the amount of time I had in a day, especially if I wanted to sleep at all. |
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Haven't done this study yet but it is what I am thinking, I think it comes down to priorities but I am having trouble because really, to me, it seems everything is a priority. HELP!
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Anne, married to dh 16 years!, ds,(97), Little One (02), and dd (02).
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JodieLyn
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On getting things done.. what helps the most
1) enough sleep
2) fewer stressful events (example plan that the first day my dh is out of town for extended period ~ a week or a month~ that I won't get anything done.. the emotional trauma while not manifest as emotions does manifest as a lack of ability to get anything done
3) health - includes maintanance like getting in those daily supplements and the extras to fight off illness and stress
Then staying busy.. as silly as it seems, too little that must be done is as distruptive for me as too much.. inertia sets in and I don't get around to even a little bit of stuff.. but staying somewhat busy but not too much (delicate balance) means more gets done
Oh and new books.. new books are so TOTALLY disruptive 
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
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Chris V
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Just a couple of key items for me that can either make or break my day. If I want my day to go well, so much of this depends upon me (as opposed to my girls - their drama, trials, whatnot)
:: I must shower first thing. No doddling about the house drinking tea. Get up. Shower. Get myself ready to go.
:: Dinner must be figured out in the morning. If I put this off, then it becomes a huge time suck at the end of the day. I *could* improve this by having a weekly meal plan in place, but whenever I've set that standard for my ideal, I fail time and again. So, I do what works for me, which is - having dinner figured out that morning so that I can do any and all prep ahead of time, or at least know when I need to begin getting dinner ready (some dinners take an hour or more).
:: STAY OFF THE COMPUTER, iPAD, iPOD, iPhone. This is really huge. My times on these media devices are limited ONLY to when I have a baby in my arms and I'm trying to get her to sleep. Then I give myself permission to stand about engaged online. Else, they're off and not in my midst (and when I fudge on my own rule, I pay the price - things fall apart, 5 minutes turns into 20 minutes of mindless distraction, my children turn into unruly rioters and I will have a most horrible time "getting them back" - that is, getting them calmed down and ready to focus once again on what ever it was we were/are doing).
:: I don't answer phone calls during the day.
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Chris
Happy Wife with my Happy Life
Mama to My Five Girls ('04~'07~'09~'11~'11) 
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Becky Parker
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| Posted: Jan 08 2013 at 7:33am | IP Logged
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Years ago, on these boards there was a discussion regarding household notebooks and people were talking about writing out their routines. One person (wish I could find the post) said their goal was to have their routine down so well that even when mom was in the hospital having a baby or there was a death in the family or other such traumatic thing, the routine would be there. Doing the routine things offers security when life seems to be in upheaval.
That has been my goal - to develope such a routine (with those things that can be routine), but I have failed. When my aging mother was here for a couple of weeks, the kids did just about nothing. The dog got taken care of because that is the one thing we have done routinely for years. Everything else was nuts. I'm still recovering!
So, that bit of info doesn't help at all, I'm sure, but I think the idea of it is really good. Work on those areas that can be routine and at least they will take care of themselves. For example, Chris's statement that dinner must be figured out in the morning. YES! That would save all kinds of headache later in the day. It's such a simple thing but that is when I have the time and energy to actually do it ... not at 4:00 in the afternoon after a long day.
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Becky
Wife to Wes, Mom to 6 wonderful kids on Earth and 4 in Heaven!
Academy Of The Good Shepherd
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CrunchyMom
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I was going to say something along the lines of Becky!
I have failed, but I do think that when everything feels like a priority, you need to weigh things so you can choose to focus on areas that will work incrementally towards and lay a foundation for an end goal of routine that ultimately means you will have more time to add in the other things.
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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MNMommy
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Honestly, for me the key is to have a pre-plan and pre-prepare so my life runs as automatic as possible.
*I need to know what the next day's three meals will be before I go to bed for the night, and I need to have a stocked pantry so I can make the next day's meals. To have a stocked pantry I need to have a process for filling the pantry and a process for repurchasing food before we run out.
*I need a process for writing down all the errands/phone calls that need to happen, and a plan for when they are going to happen. If today is recycling day, then I need to know in the morning when and how the recycling is going to make it into the van. If today is a run to the post office, then I need to make time to prepare my packages and have them waiting by the door.
Basically, I have to make time in my day to plan and prepare. Even though this time seems like it should be spent on more pressing needs, time spent preparing and planning actually ends up saving me time.
For me it all boils down to being intentional. Not my strong suit.
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Jennifer
Tired mom to - 10yo dd, 7yo ds, 6yo ds, 4yo dd, 2yo ds
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Becky Parker
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MNMommy wrote:
Basically, I have to make time in my day to plan and prepare. Even though this time seems like it should be spent on more pressing needs, time spent preparing and planning actually ends up saving me time.
For me it all boils down to being intentional. Not my strong suit. |
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Yes, this is it! I know it is true. When I have taken the proper time to plan, our days run so much better. Planning the routine then working the routine. Both require discipline! I am a planner by nature, but for some reason when I sit down to plan I feel guilty, like I'm doing something I shouldn't be instead of some sort of cleaning job. But, when I don't take the time to plan I feel like I am floating from one thing to the next and putting out little fires here and there instead of preventing those fires in the first place.
I believe that adding that very important planning time to my daily routine is an essential. (Now to find that time!).
Once again, I don't have a link but in my memory I also have a post I read where one mom talked about a change in her role. She needed to become the manager of her home, not the doer. Her job, according to her post, was to plan and organize and make sure the do-ers did their jobs. Kind of like an office manager. My dh and I talk about this a lot. His role at work is changing and he's having a hard time letting go of the nitty gritty he's used to doing, to being the manager of those that do the nitty gritty. He finds security in the nitty gritty though. It's what he has done for years. Just like I find security in doing the dishes, every time. It's just easier for me than directing and teaching the kids to do it. But, it's better for them (even though they disagree) to learn the life skills and to appreciate their environment enough to keep it in order.
Okay, I'm rambling. This just so hits home for me. A very good reminder of what I really need to do, even though it is a very difficult thing.
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Becky
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SuzanneG
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DELEGATE! (most of you don't have "only littles" so I'm gearing my answer to "non-only-little-families." If this was a thread with "littles-only-mommies" my answer would be very different.
Becky Parker wrote:
| Once again, I don't have a link but in my memory I also have a post I read where one mom talked about a change in her role. She needed to become the manager of her home, not the doer. Her job, according to her post, was to plan and organize and make sure the do-ers did their jobs. Kind of like an office manager. |
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Yes, this is TOTALLY TRUE! And, this is where I always need to back up to when I feel like I'm not getting enough time-mgmt=time. I LOVE the nitty-gritty, love cleaning, love "doing"....but now that my kids are a bit older that is NOT the best use of my time. I still DO it in snippets to keep-things-rolling, but I don't SCHEDULE those chores in MY TIME....those are for the kids to do.
So, in order to ORGANIZE and "prepare to prepare" like someone mentioned above, I have to delegate and take myself OUT of anything that is taking up my time that could be done by anyone smaller or younger than me. Otherwise.....I guess we don't have enough time to {insert fun activity or extra things]! Because REALLY I would RATHER stay home and clean my house than sit at an ice rink....but THEY would not!
DAYTIME PLANNING
I also LIKE the idea that my girls SEE me making phone calls for them, typing emails to arrange things for them, putting papers away, installing a new cupboard, updating their school-lists, finding a desired book, tracking a package, re-organizing a closet, discussing with dh, finding a new basket for the clutter on the front counter, measuring this, hanging that, ordering XYZ, etc....they are SEEING what a home manager does.
NIGHT TIME PLANNING
I save my thinking and problem solving planning for night when it's quiet and I can focus. But, the "doing" of the "management" is done during the day.
With older and more kids comes MORE THINGS, obviously. But, LESS physical work and actual CHORE-DOING for me BECAUSE I have kiddos doing those chores that only a few years ago, I HAD to do or they wouldn't get done. My days looked extremely different just a couple years ago.
For moms with older kids, this is so important. (and for moms with only youngers.....read this and just be HOPEFUL!
For example......
:: I have probably emptied the dishwasher TWICE in the past 6 months.
:: I only clean up the kitchen after dinner if my olders are at an event or gone. This probably only happens 2/month. Otherwise, this is my time for organizing for the next day, putting things away and making phone calls. Also, reading to the littles before getting them ready for bed. Do they fool around? Sometimes, but I am doing my work in their vicinity so that I can watch and keep them on track while getting my preparing/organizing done.
****Between these two chores ALONE, I have freed up approximately:
--------42 minutes per week from the dishwasher job (6 minutes/day)
--------210 minutes / week for KP (about 30 minutes/day).
*********That is over FOUR HOURS / week for me to manage the home *******  
And, that's only using the example of TWO CHORES!
So, the first step in all of this is TAKE AWAY anything that ANYONE YOUNGER THAN YOU can do. If someone else in the house can do {{given chore}} they should. You should only be doing what NO ONE else in the house is capable of doing. THEN.....you find little snippets of time that work for you that are dedicated to getting ready for the next day.
Here is a past thread on delegating:
SuzanneG wrote:
My 3 oldest are like Maryan's....ages 8, 6.5, 5.5.....and they do everything and WAY more than the above list.
My motto is "If they are CAPABLE of doing it...they should!" I am constantly asking myself, while doing chores or things around the house...."Is this something that someone ELSE in the house is capable of doing?" If the answer is yes, then it gets assigned.
My time is better spent doing things no one else can possibly do....
**child-bearing and rearing. All-things "Parenting."
**meal planning, cooking, and kichen management (although as soon as my girls hit age 10....i'm delegating that too)
**putting things away (at least things that they don't know where they go and "homes" to find)
**scheduling
**home education
**overseeing everything!
**finances, purchasing decisions
**organizing and managing big projects
**problem-solving with dh
**cleaning that others can't possibly do
I hardly have anything to do with laundry anymore, and I hardly ever dust, or sweep or vaccuum, unless someone needs help or we're in hurry-mode. I haven't folded a piece of laundry for the past year.
And, I LIKE to clean and do laundry, actually. I love making the house look nice (altho it never does), and I'm, by nature, a work-horse.....so it's not that I'm lazy. I would actually RATHER sweep, etc than do many of the other things on the above list (things only I can do) .....but if the OTHER stuff is going to get done, then I have to delegate, if possible. And, it IS VERY POSSIBLE. |
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Suzanne in ID
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SuzanneG
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JodieLyn wrote:
Then staying busy.. as silly as it seems, too little that must be done is as distruptive for me as too much.. inertia sets in and I don't get around to even a little bit of stuff.. but staying somewhat busy but not too much (delicate balance) means more gets done
Oh and new books.. new books are so TOTALLY disruptive |
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YEs, the books-thing is TOTALLY DISRUPTIVE for me too!
And, love the thought about "staying busy"....the inertia-thing is really important.
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Suzanne in ID
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Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)
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MicheleQ
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Lots of good tips here and I agree that planning is key but I will also say the there is one single thing that has helped more than anything else and that has been giving more attention to my spiritual life. If at all possible get up before your children (and I know this can be difficult) and spend time in prayer. We do morning prayer together but I also have private prayer time first thing in the morning --well actually right after I see my dh off to work. I usually read from my meditation book (Divine Intimacy), pray and journal. It has helped me more than I can express.
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Michele Quigley
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AnaB
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A wise friend told me that if I put my time with God first, He will order the rest of my day for me. My day goes so much better when I make time for the Lord. Then eliminate time wasters like Chris said. Crucial! Then take some time on Saturday to plan, know what I'm doing for school. I keep a planner or spiral notebook handy to jot things down as I think of them. Planning by using pegs in my day is helpful. Look in the archives for peg planning. There have been some really good threads over the years.
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mommy4ever
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I am always trying to figure that one out!
I find it so frustrating.
Dh has started calling during that day to let me know what he wants for supper He'll even make it if I have the meat out of the freezer. Today he called and said we're having leftovers  Takes alot of my plate to not have to scramble to figure it out. He knows I've been frustrated. DS isn't showing up for supper most nights, then is upset when he does and I don't have food for him. Joys of being 18 and thing you're free to do whatever, and then dd15 has become super picky lately eating nearly nothing with us. So he is taking initiative.
I really feel I fail at getting things done at home. I know we have busy life, and I do volunteer work too. But I am home most of the time. I feel that I avoid it! I don't feel good at this at all. I can organize for huge functions, you'd think I could do this for a mere 6 people at home, but really i don't know why I can't.
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Mom to 4,
1 graduated June 2012
1 in Catholic school
2 homeschooled(one considering art school!)
ardently praying for a new addition to our family.
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JodieLyn
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It's not the organizing.. it's the doing.. every day.. every week.. on and on and on.. and then you miss a day or even part of day and it's so hard to "catch up" that you get further behind...
oh wait.. that's me
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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mommy4ever
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I know it's not organizing! I can plan it, I just can't carry it out!
I've prayed, and prayed, and whined and cried and prayed some more, complained, and begged and.... prayed some more.... and the only answer I keep getting.... "Is just DO IT!" ughhh, I wanna a magic pill....
I think for me, some of that "just do it", might not be what I have been thinking it is. Do it, as in SAY NO to another commitment, or another plea for a ride, or for a sleepover, no to answering the phone, or email. And simply do what needs to be done...
That said.. I need to get off the computer and get the dishes done then go pick up the kids!
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Mom to 4,
1 graduated June 2012
1 in Catholic school
2 homeschooled(one considering art school!)
ardently praying for a new addition to our family.
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Becky Parker
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mommy4ever wrote:
I've prayed, and prayed, and whined and cried and prayed some more, complained, and begged and.... prayed some more.... and the only answer I keep getting.... "Is just DO IT!" ughhh, I wanna a magic pill....
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Sounds like what St. Paul calls a "thorn in your side"! I realize he may have been talking about an actual physical problem, but I heard a homily once where the priest talked about this "thorn" as that thing given to Paul to keep him humble.
I have the same issues and I just keep praying. I think, besides the "just do it" part, that is the best thing we can do. For me, it's having the discipline to discipline the kids when they have not done what I asked. When they don't do their part, it gets put on my plate and I become overwhelmed and so many important things don't get done because I am working on something the 9 yo should be doing .... It's a vicious cycle.
My dh, on the other hand, is very good at making his expectations known to the kids and they are aware that there will be consequences if things aren't done right. On occasion (I wish more often!) he has taken charge of having the house clean on a Saturday. The kids all work at it and work well. The house is beautiful when they are done. I want to be able to do that on a regular basis! But I struggle. You are not alone, mommy4ever!
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Becky
Wife to Wes, Mom to 6 wonderful kids on Earth and 4 in Heaven!
Academy Of The Good Shepherd
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4Real Forums : Planning and Ordering our Days
Topic: Need Time Management Tips!
