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Planning and Ordering our Days
 4Real Forums : Planning and Ordering our Days
Subject Topic: schedule vs independence Post ReplyPost New Topic
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mooreboyz
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Posted: Dec 23 2011 at 7:47am | IP Logged Quote mooreboyz

I've been having a really hard time getting my preteens and teens up in the morning this year and the struggle is always something that gets my day off on the wrong foot. So, in doing a midyear review I am considering turning the schedule over to them.

Here's the deal. I have 1 hour of group learning that I have to do with them when the baby naps at 11:00. We also do about 1/2 hour together currently in the morning where we go over a little Latin, Geography, and logic. I could move this to lunch or snack time. The rest of their schooling is independent aside from questions they have for me. In addition they of course have chores (taking care of the chickens/eggs, dishes, tidying, firewood, etc). So, I am considering putting it in their hands. They are responsible for getting their school work done, chores, and at least being up, ready, and fed by 11:00 for group lesson. There is no tv or computer until everything is done.

My 7, 4, and 1 year old are always up with the sun and so I would focus on them in the morning. The others would be responsible for themselves. Presently I attempt to wake everyone up at 7:30/ 8:00 which is just really ugly, regardless of when they fall asleep. I have set times when they are each supposed to do math, piano, and so forth. Has anyone tried both of these methods? What has worked best for you as your kids get older? I've always liked the idea of the kids guiding themselves and I hate the nagging to get them up and the constant prodding of asking "is this done?" I wish I had a better incentive/reprocusion for not getting their work done.

Thanks!

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3ringcircus
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Posted: Dec 23 2011 at 9:10am | IP Logged Quote 3ringcircus

No advice here, because my kids are still littles, but I taught pre-teens in my former life. There was at least one study showing that teenagers' internal clock shifts. They are physically oriented to go to sleep later and wake later. School schedules that have them up so early (so their afternoons are free for jobs & activities, & the buses are free for elem. students), actually do them a disservice. They were half asleep in the early AM classes because their bodies really wanted to be!
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JodieLyn
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Posted: Dec 23 2011 at 11:36am | IP Logged Quote JodieLyn

what do you have to lose by trying it?

just make sure that the kids understand that you'll be reassessing things in 2 weeks or so and their ability to continue doing their own schedule is dependant on their getting everything done in a reasonable time frame.

oh and I'd still have a non-negotiable time to be in bed for them even if they read or such. because I want down time with everyone in bed

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mooreboyz
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Posted: Dec 23 2011 at 12:03pm | IP Logged Quote mooreboyz

3ringcircus - Yes, I have read that also which is why I hate to force my schedule on them.

jodie - that is what I was thinking. Try it for 2 weeks and see and of course there would have to be a "lights Out/electronics off" time.

thanks!

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Willa
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Posted: Dec 23 2011 at 4:20pm | IP Logged Quote Willa

When my children got to the teen years I turned over their schedules to them as you describe.   They still had to meet at group times but I didn't set these for early. The understanding was also that if they got up later, they were basically on their own for breakfast.

Four of them are grown now and have never had a problem getting up early if their schedules required it (college, work, etc). In fact in some ways I think it was helpful for them that they learned to take charge of their own schedules when they were in their early teens.

One thing I had to watch out for was the temptation to let them too easily off the hook as they transitioned from mom-directed to self-directed.   I did the same as you are doing -- no TV or computer until everything was done.   

Sometimes during the transition period, I did checkpoints during the day because sometimes they were unrealistic about how much time they would take to get things done. So then they would try to rush through chores and/or schoolwork to be done, and this defeats the purpose of course. So I would say something like "X amount of things done before you can have lunch" or something along those lines so that they weren't jamming everything into an hour or so in the late afternoon.

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Barbara C.
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Posted: Dec 28 2011 at 12:11pm | IP Logged Quote Barbara C.

My kids are still little, so I have no direct experience. But you might consider sitting down with each one to see what they think. One might be up for total independence, while another might still want a little more structure and guidance from you.

I've read that teens brains go just as dramatic of a change as they did during the first year of life. That's one reason they can be emotionally erratic and need a lot more sleep.

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leanne maree
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Posted: Dec 29 2011 at 3:20am | IP Logged Quote leanne maree

I handed over the rigns to my dd -13 earlier this year.
I needed to keep a check of her time management and work completed for a few weeks.
We pin our breaks and different activities to meal breaks.
ie, I set a get up time that we both agreed upon. we have chores and shower before breakfast.
We meet for breakfast at a set time.
Piano follows.
Maths before morning tea.
The afternoon learning and chore times are again pinned around meals.

she knows her work load and we can adjust as we need to, especially if she needs my assistance

Thats my experience.

My ds was not an earlier riser, he was rather slow in the mornings, so we had to readjust his school work accordingly.

Leanne

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