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MWeber
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| Posted: Aug 07 2010 at 7:19am | IP Logged
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In another thread, I asked about music for the younger grades, and now I'm curious to hear how others balance homeschool with extracurriculars, co-ops, field trips, etc. There seems to be more and more activities offered to HS'ers - science classes at the museum, robotic teams, art and music, co-ops, weekly trips to the Botanical Gardens. All scheduled smack in the middle of the school day. Then there's daily Mass, nature walks in the park, library trips. And everything sounds very fun and appealing.
My church HS group has a co-op for 2-3 hrs, 2 Fridays a month. They usually attend daily Mass beforehand, eat lunch and have recess afterward, and then go to Holy Hour. I have always been told that co-ops can be draining, b/c you have to prep for the class you're teaching, and it often takes up an entire day a week (although in my case, it's every other week). But it's only minutes away from my house, and it could be one of the few ways my son can meet other Catholic HS'ers consistently.
OK, enough rambling. I suspect opinions vary greatly depending on family size, ages of kids, and how far you live from town, but I'd love to hear your thoughts. 
Michele
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guitarnan
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Our co-op does take up most of our day, even though it's a half-day experience. That's because of the drive time (1/2 hour one way), lunch afterward and the lack of resemblance to the daily schedule. It takes a while for me to get everyone back on track. A whole-day co-op would be nicer, actually!
We don't do too many outside homeschool activities (museums, parks, etc.) for just this reason. My children are older and the activities may count for a subject or two but not all of them. We still have to go home and knock out that math lesson.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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MWeber
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Does the co-op help eliminate some of the subjects you would normally teach at home? Or is it just extra stuff?
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guitarnan
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It varies from year to year. The semester we did Maryland history was very helpful - dd would have had to learn it at home, and enjoyed the co-op experience (with field trip) much more. Other semesters have been more "just for fun" - history of baseball, for example (although the historical baseball reenactors came twice, how cool is that?). When children are younger, pretty much anything at our co-op can count for something they'd learn at home, but it does get more challenging as they grow older. Not impossible, just more challenging - the moms of the older students really need to work together to come up with a plan that will truly augment the learning experience, not just provide social time.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Mackfam
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Michele,
I wanted to link you to a thread that was such an AMAZING help for me and gave me some great tools in discerning how to spend outside-the-home time.
Living the Slow Life
The thread begins just as our dear Stef has come back from Italy and is missing that togetherness and centered on family life she experienced there. Toward the end of the 1st page, we start to brainstorm how to translate this into our own homes. The thread is a treasure for me, and in my favorites. I hope it's a blessing to you!
__________________
Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19 , ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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MWeber
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| Posted: Aug 11 2010 at 1:07pm | IP Logged
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Mackfam wrote:
Michele,
I wanted to link you to a thread that was such an AMAZING help for me and gave me some great tools in discerning how to spend outside-the-home time.
Living the Slow Life
The thread begins just as our dear Stef has come back from Italy and is missing that togetherness and centered on family life she experienced there. Toward the end of the 1st page, we start to brainstorm how to translate this into our own homes. The thread is a treasure for me, and in my favorites. I hope it's a blessing to you! |
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Thanks Jen! I'm glad you spoke up b/c we're actually in the same wonderful homeschool group (I'm the one who emailed you awhile back, lost a daughter 3 yrs ago, yada yada). I went on the HS field trip to the farm yesterday, knowing that if there was ever a time to do fun things like that, it would be now, when my kids are young and our schedules are relaxed. But since you have older kids, when do you decide to join other homeschoolers for excursions and such? If at all? Do you limit it to the weeks that you are off, like in between terms? I completely understand and value the time spent with siblings, which I think was the most beautiful aspect of Stef's experience. But at the same time, I want my kids to feel like they are a part of the Catholic HS community; that they aren't isolated from others children, you know? We don't have extended family here, so maybe that's part of my desire for community. How am I able to balance that? (Because I know it can be a slippery slope, especially when there are so many opportunities to join in.)
I guess in the future, I can schedule ~1 field trip a month, make sure any extracurriculars are in the evenings, etc. Set limits. Like I said in the OP, I joined the co-op this year, but it's really not something I expect to commit to when my son's older and our family is hopefully - and God-willing! - a bit larger (I'm due on with our fourth on New Year's).
I'm going to read through Stef's thread again and pray about it. I have a feeling it will become clearer to me when the time comes. Doesn't it always? 
Thanks again. :)
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MWeber
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| Posted: Aug 11 2010 at 3:47pm | IP Logged
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I wanted to add a couple more thoughts...
Since many of you are at home the majority of the day, every day...when do you run your errands? When hubby gets home? Weekend? Do you have a "free day", like Friday, to run to the store, library, post office, etc.?
Along the same lines, are you involved in any outside commitments that don't involve the children? A church group or ministry, book club...? With my children being young, I try very hard to not leave the house when DH gets home. While he's outside with the kids, I clean up dinner, declutter, make a pot of decaf, and read with the kids. I've tried attending the Mom's group at church in the evening, and I hated being out till 9pm. Same with a book club I used to belong to. Our Mom's group also has a morning option with a free nursery (what I go to now), but I know a lot of HS'ing moms switch to the night group b/c of school.
I also realize that with older kids, you'll be gone some nights for sports and such.
OK, enough rambling for now.
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MrsM
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Now that I have a 13yo who can babysit, I will occassionally run errands during our quiet time (2-4pm). Most of the time, though, my dh runs the errands. For example, after work today he's headed to the grocery store, Staples, and the library. It works for us, because his school day (he's a teacher) ends around 3pm, and he can stop by these places on the way home.
Here's the bottom line for our family when it comes to extracurricular activities.  We choose things that add a lot to our family life, don't interfere with normal school work, and don't take away much of our time together. Music lessons are done in our home. The ballet studio is only a three minute drive from our house. Art lessons are done with several other families that we love, and whose children are good friends with my children. We don't do activities on the weekends, like soccer games and whatnot, and most of what we do during the week is finished before my husband gets home from work.
Of course, there is an exception to the rule (isn't there always?  ) The only thing that I really struggle with, and I don't know that there is a good solution for this, is the 4-5 hours that we spend on Atrium (Catechesis of the Good Shepherd) every week. We commute to get there, so the kids do school work in the car, but by the time we get home at around 1pm, we're all feeling drained and it's REALLY hard to finish school. Still, Atrium is such an important part of their religious formation that I'm willing to make the trade.
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Lynn in California
Homeschooling dd13, dd11, ds10, and ds8
Mom to Miracle Baby ds3
Mom to darling Elizabeth and Francis, held in Mary's arms and always in my heart
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TracyFD
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Now that I am finally figuring out what works for homeschooling (after fours years) these extra-curricular decisions are driving me batty!
We do not have a Catholic co-op nearby but I always think it would be nice if we did so that my children could have more Catholic friends. However, even with a four day a week curriculum our day "off" is used for morning piano lessons and afternoon art with the other interested Catholic homeschooling family in town. Taking a day off for a co-op would throw off my schedule in a big way but might just be worth it for graces and fellowship.
Our area has a plethora of protestant homeschoolers, and like you mentioned, opportunities abound for homeschoolers these days. But to take another morning or early afternoon out for homeschool ice skating, art class, theater, field trips, etc - how would we ever get our school work done? I like the daily rhythm we have at home. I like to be home in the mornings for school and early afternoons for naps, quiet reading time and laundry.
So far I have scheduled piano for the oldest three - Wed mornings. All three used to take violin too, but the younger two struggled so I let them quit to focus on piano. We found a violin teacher closer to home for the oldest who wanted to continue and my #2 will resume lessons in September because I want her to. I just figure that if we are getting out twice a week for violin (individual and group lessons) I want more than one child involved.
There is an outstanding boy's choir in the area I have always wanted my son to try so so this will be Monday evenings after the girls' violin lessons.
I feel I should balance out their music with more P.E. but am struggling with the time and money to do so. They do soccer, baseball, tennis when the weather is nice and we bike, walk and hike as a family, but we really need something for the Minnesota winter months. My intuition says "ballet" for the girls but the class time conflicts with the group violin lesson. I am also concerned about the future commitment: twice a week now, three times a week at the next level, up to ten hours in high school. I would love to see my daughters strong and graceful in ballet but unsure about the requirements of the local ballet academy and how they would continue music studies too. They got an early start in violin and piano, but the real ballet academy just opened up a year ago. They did a "Dancing for Jesus" program before that so I am sensing that it is a little late for them to start up in a real ballet school.
There is a dance studio in town that offers ballet one evening a week - no recital. (No $150 costumes twice a year either!) We might try that. Or we might focus on something more practical like swimming at the Y and move them through more levels towards proficiency - hopefully their classes would be at the same time, same night.
There are also ice skating lessons with all levels scheduled on Monday nights but this conflicts with the boy's choir, at least this year.
I would love for my son to be in karate during the year but am not sure we have the time and money for that too. Such a struggle! I would like to keep them together in the same activities as much as possible but also want them to find their individual talents and interests. I also don't really want the girls in karate or the boy in ballet. Just my hunch for them.
I also don't want to be running out every night of the week yet feel the kids would benefit physically and mentally from a good workout once or twice a week through their growing years.
As far as errands we try to make the 30 min trip to Costco on Friday afternoons, meeting dh there around 5:00 so he can help out. I do the remainder of the grocery shopping on Saturdays. Other errands I have little time for. My dh will go to the post office for me, but if I ask him to stop by here and there after work he would not be home until 7 or 8 at night. This year I plan to do school three weeks on, one week off and save some of my other errands for off weeks.
I attend a homeschool mom's support group one evening a month. There are only about three of us Catholics who regularly attend, but I find it worthwhile. I used to attend a book club and knitting club too but decided these were not worth the price of being gone - I am with you there!
I wish you the best in discerning what fits your family! I have been praying about it and asking the Blessed Mother to show me what would be best long term!
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Tracy
Mom to 3 girly girls,
1 absent-minded professor, and one adorable toddling terrorist.
Pinewood Castle
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MWeber
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TracyFD wrote:
| I like the daily rhythm we have at home. I like to be home in the mornings for school and early afternoons for naps, quiet reading time and laundry. |
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In total agreement! They always say that kids thrive on routine, but I think I thrive on it even more than they do.
TracyFD wrote:
| I feel I should balance out their music with more P.E. but am struggling with the time and money to do so. They do soccer, baseball, tennis when the weather is nice and we bike, walk and hike as a family, but we really need something for the Minnesota winter months. My intuition says "ballet" for the girls but the class time conflicts with the group violin lesson. I am also concerned about the future commitment: twice a week now, three times a week at the next level, up to ten hours in high school. I would love to see my daughters strong and graceful in ballet but unsure about the requirements of the local ballet academy and how they would continue music studies too. They got an early start in violin and piano, but the real ballet academy just opened up a year ago. They did a "Dancing for Jesus" program before that so I am sensing that it is a little late for them to start up in a real ballet school. |
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A new Y is about to open near my house. I have never belonged to one, but I'm hoping the kids can join classes w/o having to be members. I have no idea how that works. We are very blessed with long and mild springs and autumns, so we often spend several hours outside (although we live in town, so we don't have much land). My nephew who lives in another city here in Alabama is able to play sports for the local Catholic school, but I don't think that's the norm. Ballet and ice skating can be such demanding sports as the kids get older, huh? And when you have several kids, I can see how complicated it can get once they become more competitive. What you need is a personal chauffeur! 
TracyFD wrote:
| As far as errands we try to make the 30 min trip to Costco on Friday afternoons, meeting dh there around 5:00 so he can help out. I do the remainder of the grocery shopping on Saturdays. Other errands I have little time for. My dh will go to the post office for me, but if I ask him to stop by here and there after work he would not be home until 7 or 8 at night. This year I plan to do school three weeks on, one week off and save some of my other errands for off weeks. |
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This is a biggie for me. I really try not to ask DH to run errands after work only b/c I want him home! lol. I don't even let him help me with dinner clean up b/c I would rather he play with the kids. I like the idea of shopping on Saturdays - I'm not sure why I don't do that more often. I am very much a morning person, so that suits me much more than running out after dark.
I appreciate your concern over the P.E. thing, and although it sounds reasonable to have each child pick a sport + instrument, the logistics are rarely simple. I like the idea of having the music teacher coming to the house, although I'm not sure how common that is? And I suppose you can find a winter sport to keep your kids active in the colder months. Then when the weather warms up, you can just make sure they run laps outside. My SIL has her kids run a lap on their cul-de-sac every morning in between chores and school, but I imagine that is difficult when half the year, your street is covered in snow.
God bless your discernment, and thank you for your input!
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Mackfam
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| Posted: Aug 14 2010 at 11:32am | IP Logged
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MWeber wrote:
| Thanks Jen! I'm glad you spoke up b/c we're actually in the same wonderful homeschool group |
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I remembered you, Michele!! I'm so glad you're here as well!
MWeber wrote:
| since you have older kids, when do you decide to join other homeschoolers for excursions and such? If at all? |
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We do join in with some opportunities, but we have learned to carefully steward the gift of time. Golly, there are so many wonderful outside-the-home opportunities available to homeschoolers now!!! When we discern whether or not we will participate in something, I consider the many variables that are a factor at that time, and if we discern that we will not take advantage of an opportunity we always express it in positive terms. When we must say no-thank you to an outside-the-home activity, we do that so that we can say yes to the opportunity of being more attentive/focused/disciplined/together as a family at home.
Right now, our outside-the-home participation is very limited for a number of reasons - my children's ages, my husband's ability to help out and be involved, extended family circumstances, my time, the needs of the children for a sense of security provided by routine at home, schoolwork time, the time it takes us to get to and from an activity, etc. Our involvement is something we're constantly discerning and it does fluctuate greatly with the season of life we find ourselves in and the many gifts and crosses God has given us to carry at that time as well as the children's ability and willingness to help the family if the family is to sacrifice to get them to outside-the-home events.
In terms of developing friendships within our Catholic community, this is something that used to concern me greatly when the children were younger. If I tried to be outside the home too often without discerning opportunities together with my husband (and I did  ), the family unraveled. I couldn't be attentive to anything because I always felt like I was in catch up mode! What I have learned over the years is that my children formed friendships, really good friendships, quite naturally by being around others when we're together as a family, like after Church and other family social events. Now that one of my children is older, her friendships are growing and they are able to seek special "friend times" to be together. I'm very grateful God has sent these special friends into my children's lives. I'm grateful these friends were my children's choices and that we had wonderful opportunities with great families so that these friends could be met and friendships nurtured. I know circumstances vary greatly with personality, availability, opportunity, but these were/are our experiences.
The thread I linked you above really helped me brainstorm ways to bring questions into the discernment process. This has transformed how we discern outside-the-home opportunities, which have a proportional place in our day and our family life. They do not outrank family time. They are not in a place of priority over non-negotiable family events. If family time is sacrificed for an event, or for an opportunity for one certain child, then the family, or that child, works to help meet family needs so that time out of the home...and transitioning back into the home afterwards is smooth.
MWeber wrote:
| I'm going to read through Stef's thread again and pray about it. I have a feeling it will become clearer to me when the time comes. Doesn't it always? |
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Yes! It's hard to anticipate what your needs, limits, opportunities, and resources will be down the road. The size of your family and the ages of the children certainly affect decision making! Each season will present different challenges and opportunities! And everyone's family answer will be different based on their circumstances, needs, limits, priorities, and a gazillion other factors known to them alone! If I'm facing a crisis of discipline - whether it is a habit of mine, or habit development in one of my children - that takes priority over outside-the-home opportunities!!! It's a non-negotiable here! Develop some ideas of non-negotiables for living family centeredness...then begin to brainstorm some questions that are general and help you and your husband discern opportunities carefully so that life is full but not frenetic or busy.
Hope this helps, Michele! Hope to see you on one of the field trips soon!!!
__________________
Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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MWeber
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| Posted: Aug 17 2010 at 6:45am | IP Logged
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I am away visiting family (where it's much milder and my shirt is not sticking to my skin, lol), and it has given me some time to think about your post, Jen. I have gotten so much out of your sage advice.
I think a lot of my concerns regarding friendships and socializing stem from my experience with the loss of my daughter 3 yrs ago. Before that, I had good friends in the area, I guess, but when I realized several loving Catholic women from the Mom's group at our church showed up at the funeral - women I didn't even know - I realized how much value community meant in a crisis. That is when I started attending that same group and forming great friendships along the way. Not friendships that take a lot of time away from family, since I don't attend any MNO or anything. But meeting them each Thursday, helping each other grow closer to Christ and become better moms.
But with homeschooling, everything changes. Time is obviously limited, and I must (and want to) put my family's education before all other commitments. My hesitation lies in the fact that God asks us to evangelize, to reach out to others in our community, including those in our faith and homeschool community. I guess the ultimate question is how can I give my children the same opportunity to form their own friendships, to give them opportunities to minister to others, to shine Christ's light? Does it involve co-ops, field trips, sports, music...? Or are those things not necessary? And how do we strike a balance as a family so that we aren't harried, frustrated, and inpatient b/c we have over-committed ourselves?
Like I said, I know I'm over-thinking things, and the answers will come in God's time. But in a town like ours, where there are so many great ways to get involved, I am finding that it is even relevant to a mother of preschoolers.
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LLMom
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I have 6 dc at home, but my 17year old drives now so that helps. We live 20 minutes from everything so I schedule 2 days out a week for activities and errands. I purposely have music all on one day because I have 3 dc in it. I run errand with the smaller ones while the 3 older are in music lessons. This year I have a son who will be playing baseball so we might be out one extra day for 10 weeks. But he needs this; he is almost 14 and very lonely. So for our family, we have looked at what our family is like at that time (i.e. babies meant less days out) and everyones needs.
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Lisa
For veteran & former homeschool moms
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4Real Forums : Planning and Ordering our Days
Topic: Scheduling activities (outside of home)
