| Author | |
teachingmyown
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 20 2005
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5128
|
| Posted: July 17 2006 at 5:29pm | IP Logged
|
 |
|
I was speaking with my spiritual guide today and discussing my plans for Charlie. She suggested that because he is not real enthusiastic about the Faith, that Seton might be a little too Catholic for him. Basically, he might reject a program that is saturated in Catholicism.
She hasn't homeschooled through high school, so she doesn't have personal experience with Seton.
My first question is, how Catholic-saturated are the high school courses? I would want him to get a Catholic world view while studying history and literature, of course. But I am guessing if it is too "preachy" for lack of a better word, it would turn him off.
My next question, then, would be, if Seton is not a good fit for this child because of the above issue, what is? Is there another high school program similar to Seton? I am looking for a correspondence program where he is mainly answering to someone else and he can check off the boxes and finish each day's work.
I don't think MODG is a good fit for him. Honestly, I think it requires too much thought.  This is hard for me to say, especially because he is very smart. But if I have learned anything it is you can lead a teen to knowledge but you can't make him learn. You can, however, require that he do the work laid out in the syllabi or he doesn't get to IM. 
I know I have to wrap up this decision-making process soon. I need to have transcripts sent and letters of intent and religious exemption typed up and so on. I also need to have a solid plan to fully convince both my husband and my son.
Football workouts have already started and Charlie is anxious to know what his future holds!
Just when I thought I had it figured out... 
__________________
In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
KASB
Forum Pro
Joined: May 02 2006
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 302
|
| Posted: July 18 2006 at 8:51am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Dear Molly,
While Seton's high school courses are permeated with Catholicism, I don't think they are preachy or go out of the way to put a Catholic point into something , just to make it Catholic. I have seen a few examples of that in some of their K-8 courses, usually in their science books or math lesson plans.
If you want to go with a Catholic school, I think Seton is the only one that will provide what you described. The lesson plans are well laid out and have clearly defined assignments and goals. Charlie will know what's expected of him, and will have specific assignments that will be graded by someone else. It sounds like that is what he does well with, even if it might not be your preference. You also have the benefit of an accredited school and transcript, which would make it easier if you did decide to put him back in a public or private school. It sounds like that wasn't a good option, and I hope you things work out so he stays home through high school, but it might be something to help Charlie and your husband with the decision.
I know you are aware that Seton's courses are rigorous and you have to stay on top of the work, but perhaps Charlie will see that as a challenge, especially if he has an outside grader. Having someone else grade his work will also help with any conflict that could arise if you were the only one providing feedback. And even though you may not want to go the traditional school in a box route, if it means you can keep Charlie home, then it's the way to go.
I think of your situation often and keep you and Charlie in my prayers. I have a 13yo boy who can be challenging and he frequently asks to go to school. There are no options other than public school here, so it's out of the question. You said you regret deeply letting Charlie go, and I remember that quote when I'm at my wit's end.
Sending prayers and hugs your way 
Blessings,
Kym
mom to 9 (8 boys-23,13,10,8,7,4,2,11 mos. and 1 girl-22)
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Kelly
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 21 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1211
|
| Posted: July 25 2006 at 11:24pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Molly,
I'm sure you've already seen the discussions on Regina Coeli Academy (previously islas). But just in case not, I'll make another shameless plug in favor of their program. Pricier, at around $500 a class, but you can take one class or several. We have been very happy with the program.
RCA is most definitely Catholic, but not preachy-quite a number of non-Catholics in the program-but what might really appeal to your teen is the forum, where the kids get to know each other. It's a pretty nice group of kids and they seem to spend a lot of time talking about things like, oh, Tolkein and Lord of the Rings. Of course, the forum can backfire and they can end up spending TOO much time on the threads, and there're no guarantees about what the kids will post (though it is restricted to the students, and secure)---but on the whole, it's been a positive experience for us.
Kelly in FL
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
teachingmyown
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 20 2005
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5128
|
| Posted: July 26 2006 at 5:01pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Thanks Kelly! It is a little too pricey for me.
I also need the security of an all-inclusive diploma program like Seton. Of course, I am already tweaking it!  And causing myself all kinds of extra confusion. Oh well, I never have been one to follow the lesson plans.
__________________
In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Kelly
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 21 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1211
|
| Posted: July 28 2006 at 11:26pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Yeah, it is on the steep side. As for Seton, we use that for various classes,too (can you tell we're Mix-and-Matchers???  ), and I must say the Seton people have been SO nice and helpful all along. They are most definitely there to help YOU teach, not to usurp you. We have never used their advisory service, prefering to just mail things in within the alloted 12 or 15 months or whatever-and they keep track of your credits. We will be using them again this year for Latin for my highschooler. Last year, we used their Algebra II program. As Kym mentioned above, you have to stay on top of the work, but that really goes for anything, doesn't it?
Kelly in FL
PS I have a challenging 13yo, too, so I totally empathize!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Joann in AL
Forum Rookie
Joined: March 29 2006
Location: Alabama
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 45
|
| Posted: Aug 03 2006 at 7:26am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Have you looked into Kolbe Academy?
We used this about 6 years ago for oldest dd 9/10 grade and we liked it. Just co$t too much to continue using it. I don't think it costs much more than Seton.
Joann
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Bookswithtea
Forum All-Star
Joined: July 07 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2621
|
| Posted: Aug 03 2006 at 3:15pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Have you ever seen the LP's from Seton? I finally got a chance to look at the 7th grade plans about a month ago.
This may sound terrible, but my brain automatically went to "I could tweak this and I could tweak that" so easily!
They don't require proof that you have actually done ALL the work. For example, in the 7th grade reading comprehension, there are weeks and weeks of "read the story/answer the questions." And then the test is just another version of the workbook. BUT! You are only supposed to turn in 2 weeks of work (2 lessons) and the test for the first quarter. My first thought was that we could do 2 lessons and the test (even getting them over in the summer before the schoolyear starts) and then I could do other things like copywork/dictation/narration for the rest of the year. There are a lot of subjects where you can get away with tweaking like this. The subjects that would require you to do most of the work are the ones that I would want to cover completely, anyway.
I dunno...I don't mean to recommend being a renegade. And maybe it would be counterproductive with your ds to do it this way. I haven't seen the high school levels so maybe its different. But what I came away with is that if my ds continues to balk at my CM style plans and needs more outside accountability than I can provide for him through our coop, then I think I could make it work without both of us wanting to drown in a river rather than see another workpage.
I would recommend heading over to a friend's house to see their LP's. Those 2 hrs I spent looking over my friend's books along with the LP was ten times more helpful than their web site or catalogue.
__________________
Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and due 9/10
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Bookswithtea
Forum All-Star
Joined: July 07 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2621
|
| Posted: Aug 16 2006 at 6:51pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Molly, I was just wondering if you've made any decisions for your ds yet? I'm really interested in high school options, too. Have you found something that will work?
__________________
Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and due 9/10
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
teachingmyown
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 20 2005
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5128
|
| Posted: Aug 17 2006 at 9:38am | IP Logged
|
|
|
We are using Seton. It was as much a financial decision as an ease of use decision.
Ds is not thrilled about hsing in general, but he does better with a structured, check-the-box type of curriculum.
If I could have afforded it, I think I would have enrolled in MODG. A close friend in our local hs group is a consultant and offered to take us on since she knows my son well and has taught him in co-op. But by the time I paid the tuition plus various fees and then the books, it was a lot more than Seton. At this point, my dh might not have a job in 9 days and he was reluctant to have me spend anything.
I checked out some of the other suggestions, but they were just way out of price range. I was wary of going with anything not Catholic.
Seton, while not my favorite, is the simplest answer for this year.
__________________
In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Bookswithtea
Forum All-Star
Joined: July 07 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2621
|
| Posted: Aug 17 2006 at 4:15pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Sounds like it is the best decision for your family, all around. I'm praying for your dh's job situation. We've been there, with layoffs. I know how it is.
__________________
Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and due 9/10
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Leonie
Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 28 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2831
|
| Posted: Aug 18 2006 at 1:44am | IP Logged
|
|
|
I'll pray for a successful year - sometimes it just feels so darn good to have the decision made, doesn't it?
__________________
Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Cay Gibson
Forum All-Star
Joined: July 16 2005
Location: Louisiana
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5193
|
| Posted: Oct 15 2006 at 1:42pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Molly,
I thought about you all weekend, dear.
How is the new school year going with Charlie?
Praying for all of you.
__________________
Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
teachingmyown
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 20 2005
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5128
|
| Posted: Oct 16 2006 at 10:52pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Oh Cay, you are so sweet! 
Thank you for asking. I have wanted to post several times, but it has been such a roller coaster so far that my thoughts one day are completely the opposite of the day before.
We are trudging through. Charlie uses up nearly every ounce of my time and my energy, leaving little, if any, left for the other six children. He is unhappy that we kept him home and he will not let me forget it. Each day I am greeted with "I can't do this (homeschool) anymore". He has almost given up on his daily assertion that he is going back to ps next semester.
Academically, he is struggling. I never pushed him hard enough in elementary school and public high school was a joke. Now he is doing Seton and failing. Not that he can't do it, he can if he wants to. But he will not give it the full attention it needs. His latest excuse is that he is not smart enough and I just say he is smart because that is what mothers are supposed to say!
It doesn't help that I find Seton dreadfully dull! I am busy reading TJEd articles and unschooling books, while pushing him to do work that in my heart I wish he didn't have to do. I wish that I could light a fire under him that would make him want an interesting, well-rounded education rather than force him to fill his brain only to empty it back onto the test. But I need to be realistic...
I daily go back and forth, second-guessing this decision. (This is a major problem for me in all aspects of my life, not just this decision. ). I am still, except on REALLY bad days, convinced that he should not be in public school. It would be easier, so much easier. He would be happier, at least on the surface. My only other choice is a new Catholic school with 12 kids in the tenth grade. It is about 25 minutes from our house, except that it is on a very congested road, which means the return trip at 7:30am could take up to 45 minutes. The tuition is $6000.00. Not exactly a great option either.
I find myself hoping for the next three years to pass quickly and that makes me sad. He is a funny, intelligent, handsome kid who loves his baby sister. I want to enjoy him. But when he spends his mornings badgering me or yelling at his siblings to shut up, I just want to get through this.
Well, Cay, hope I didn't give you more than you asked for. You know, today was a pretty good day. Maybe it was all those thoughts and prayers coming from you this weekend?  Please keep them coming!
As always, I love to have input from all of you ladies. It is so hard to see clearly in the thick of it.
__________________
In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Mary G
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5790
|
| Posted: Oct 17 2006 at 8:14am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Molly,
I've added you and Charlie to my prayer list -- nothing quite like a negative teenager in the homeschool to upset the whole thinking about how great it could be! My 15 yod is very much like your Charlie and it can be a daily struggle to get her to work, to get her to be nice, to get her to be a good example to the younger ones.
Occasionally, we do see a glimmer of hope and maturity -- having G'ma here is a big help as it's another adult telling her things -- somehow they listen better when it's not mom ranting AGAIN
Maybe you need to import another adult
__________________
MaryG
3 boys (22, 12, 8)2 girls (20, 11)
my website that combines my schooling, hand-knits work, writing and everything else in one spot!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Bridget
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Michigan
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2198
|
| Posted: Oct 17 2006 at 8:52am | IP Logged
|
|
|
teachingmyown wrote:
His latest excuse is that he is not smart enough and I just say he is smart because that is what mothers are supposed to say!
|
|
|
Just chuckle and tell him that good sons are supposed to reply, "Sure mom, OK, I'll try harder."
__________________
God Bless,
Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
Our Magnum Opus
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Cay Gibson
Forum All-Star
Joined: July 16 2005
Location: Louisiana
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5193
|
| Posted: Oct 17 2006 at 8:53am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Molly,
Perhaps we could brainstorm here for some help for you and Charlie.
Ladies? Any input?
Molly, first I was wondering...what did you do yesterday that made it a "pretty good day"? Write those points down.
Does he like movies? Perhaps give him a "movie" curriculum. I'm serious. Give him good, good movies to watch and have him write a paper on each movie. Have him look for the virtues of the protagonist and the vices of the antagonist. I'm thinking of The Five People You Meet in Heaven, The Rookie, Apollo 13 .
Does he have a journal? Get him one.
Next, is there a mentor near-by whom you trust to be a good role model?
How about getting him started with a blog? Give him daily or weekly themes (or let him pick the themes) to research and jot about. Remember, blogs don't have to be lengthy writing so they'll appeal to the most reluctant writer. (I say this but I've been trying to get my older three to blog on my blog---I'd like to make it a family blog---and neither one of them is interested )
Nightly talks. I know it's hard to find the time but once the others are bedded down (or any other time of day---nap time?) make it a regular point to sit down with him over a cold drink and talk. Just let him pour his heart out to you. Don't say a word. Just let him talk. You listen. I think, from past conversations, you're already doing this.
Have you read Stephen Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families?
There is also his son's book: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens.
I would also suggest to remove all negativity from the home. I'm serious there too.  Okay, I can hear some of you laughing and let me say that negativity lurks in the cracks of my home as well. But you can overcome it and its effects. I've found that laughing in the face of moody, negative teens is the best way to approach this difficult time period.
You mention:
"I am busy reading TJEd articles and unschooling books, while pushing him to do work that in my heart I wish he didn't have to do. I wish that I could light a fire under him that would make him want an interesting, well-rounded education rather than force him to fill his brain only to empty it back onto the test. But I need to be realistic..."
You know the reality already. The reality is you can't make him care. You can't make him want the well-rounded education. You can't even fill his brain if he doesn't want you to. He is going to have to take responsibility and ownership of his own education, his own life, his own choices. Perhaps he feels he has no more choices. He has had the decision taken out of his hands thus he has no ownership. Is there another area you can give him full ownership?
I look back on my oldest's early education and can remember making him do Kolbe's classical curriculum. Looking back I realize how little he retained of those time consuming periods...for him and me...if he retained anything at all. He retained things he learned on his own, all the countless hours spent outside. He wasn't a reader so I gave him the Illustrated Classics to read. He remembers these books fondly and I feel he at least knows the stories.
I feel the best decision I made was his final year of high school. I let him unschool. I required a minimum of a math, english, and chemistry work turned in to me. I also let him take outside classes to round-off his transcript.
You also wrote:
"I daily go back and forth, second-guessing this decision. (This is a major problem for me in all aspects of my life, not just this decision. )."
Don't do that. My father always told me that once I've made a decision to go forward and not to look back. The decision has been made.
Thanks for sharing your struggle and your cross, Molly. I have no doubt that others can benefit from your trials and experience. Remember that many children have been saved by their mother's prayers and viliance. Keep up the good fight.
None of this is new. It's been discussed and shared before but reminders and encouragement are always a good thing.
and prayers going your way.
__________________
Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Bookswithtea
Forum All-Star
Joined: July 07 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2621
|
| Posted: Oct 17 2006 at 2:21pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Cay Gibson wrote:
Molly,
You know the reality already. The reality is you can't make him care. You can't make him want the well-rounded education. You can't even fill his brain if he doesn't want you to. He is going to have to take responsibility and ownership of his own education, his own life, his own choices. Perhaps he feels he has no more choices. He has had the decision taken out of his hands thus he has no ownership. Is there another area you can give him full ownership?
I look back on my oldest's early education and can remember making him do Kolbe's classical curriculum. Looking back I realize how little he retained of those time consuming periods...for him and me...if he retained anything at all. He retained things he learned on his own, all the countless hours spent outside. He wasn't a reader so I gave him the Illustrated Classics to read. He remembers these books fondly and I feel he at least knows the stories.
|
|
|
Cay, I love your suggestions and am mentally noting them for my own situation...a cranky 13 yr old who is making my life rather difficult at the moment.
Pondering your thoughts above...what do you do with a child who is completely uninterested in ownership of his education? I mean...some kids just don't care and never do develop a sense of ownership. They aren't "future focused" beyond the weekend. When I think about how internally motivated I was in school, I just can't ever imagine my own ds ever caring that much.
He doesn't care if his schooling is relevant to his interests, either. His response??? "Don't turn my passions into school." He'd rather write with a dumb prompt than be encouraged to write about something he loves.
He also prefers the traditional textbook method (we signed up for a few Seton courses this year to see what its like)...he even admits that some of the assignments are dumb, but told me recently, "So what...its easier than what you had me do last year." Well, what that amounts to is that I forced him to *think* and he doesn't want to have to do that! 
I don't know if Molly's ds is like mine, but if he is, then it may be impossible, short of a miracle, to help them to want to own their futures. I think removing the negativity, the long talks, the listening, is going to be the *only* thing I can do.
I keep thinking about the old adage, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink." I'm beginning to wonder if I just need to lower my expectations for ds because he may never make the internal decision to drink...sigh...and that is very depressing to consider. Maybe just expecting the basics of a high school diploma and hoping for community college for him or a trade school? At least he still loves to read...
Molly, I will pray for you and your ds when I am praying for my ds (which is an awful lot, these days). I feel your pain...
__________________
Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and due 9/10
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Cay Gibson
Forum All-Star
Joined: July 16 2005
Location: Louisiana
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5193
|
| Posted: Oct 17 2006 at 6:56pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Books,
You bring up some excellent points and I can so relate. I am also overwhelmed by the avenues I could take in answering your questions. So much that I'd like to address and fear I won't have the time...or mental energy.
You know how often parents say, "My child thinks money grows on trees? My child doesn't understand anything about paying bills and saving?" That's because they don't have "ownership" of the money. Trust me, once they get a job and have to pay bills, their whole outlook regarding money is changed.
The same goes with "ownership" of their education.
The part where your ds said, "Don't turn my passions into school."  Hooray for him! Wouldn't we all say that.
We have to be sneaky that way.
How? I'll give you an example:
Garrett loves sports so every morning when Opa comes for coffee, I make it a point to go in the kitchen and prolong the coffee-making process so he'll have individual time with Opa to read over the recent scores and have "sports talk" guy-to-guy. For him it's just time spent with grandpa discussing his passion. For me it's recitation, it's memorization of scores and players and states and playing levels and statistics, it's reading of the newspaper, it's researh to answer Opa's questions, it's rhetoric. He has no idea I interpret this morning session as part and parcel of his schooling. Shhh...don't tell.
I read a long time ago that a child must be successful either * academically, * athletically, * socially, or * I-forget-the-fourth-one to have a good overall view of himself. He needs to be good at something.
This third child is good athletically but, in hs, he doesn't have many opportunities to shine. Even in golf he isn't enthusiastic enough to go out there and practice without a friend to accompany him. He isn't "serious" enough.
He is weak socially. I was so relieved, and have been meaning to comment, when I read Macbeth's post about Trip being so quiet. We should get these two together just to see who would talk first.
Academically, he is obedient and persistant at home but did not do well in regular school (he only went through first grade but failed reading ). I'm just not sure how much he absorbs at home. But, sometimes, he astonishes me at what he knows. He comes home from CCD saying how he finished the crossword puzzle, worksheet, etc. before everyone else. Probably because everyone else is busy talking and visiting and Garrett doesn't speak. He does his work, which is what he's there for anyway.
If I didn't know this child so well I would wonder what his strengths were. But I've followed him and I know. He loves puzzles. He loves games...computer, Playstation, cards, board games, whatever. He loves sports. He loves to watch the news. This child is well-informed of current events. More so than other 13 yr olds that go to school just to talk about styles and fashions and who owns what car.
Athletically, if put into a group of children, he will make good because he refuses to fail in front of others.
But, basically on a day to day schedule, he is found in his room doing his school work, at the computer researching sport statistics, watching the news on television, or playing his Playstation. He is the total opposite of his older brother who spent all his non-school time outside. Garrett would prefer to play his games and do nothing else. To the observer looking in, my 13 yr old appears so unmotivated at times I would be embarrassed if you visited my house.
I give him many chores just to get him outside and up and moving. He mows our two acres and his uncle's two acres. He takes out the trash. Today I had him pick up all the branches thrown around the yard and his uncle's by the storm yesterday. I have him sweep all our patios and the car area. He does dishes. He does his own clothes. He usually fixes lunch for us all.
Gee it reads like so much but, in reality, these chores take up a very brief time of his day. Before anyone things this is child labor , please let me say my husband and I focus on raising self-sufficient young men and women and, above all, hard workers. Also, I can't allow him to sit around all day doing what he would like to do. It isn't healthy! He needs to get up and do things. He needs to move around. He needs to be outside. My dh comes home and expects Garrett to have done his chores. I think this is all part of his formation. It isn't all "school" but it is "formation" for the person we want him to become.
At the same time, he doesn't give us any problems, does his work cooperatively and without being told, and helps around the house.
I know that while some parents would be happy for their children to just do this, I worry that I'm not challenging him enough or that I'm not motivating him to higher standards. What will he do when he leaves home? Will he leave home? I'm serious. I can see this child as being perfectly happy to live at home, mow the lawn, and watch the news.
But, the reason I don't worry overtly is because I worried the same with my oldest and it was all for naught. He's doing fine and is only living at home to save money for when he starts a family which we strongly encourage him to do (save money before starting a family, I mean ).
Is just expecting our children to be good kids enough? Really? Isn't it true that our children try to/want to live up to our expectations and we should aim the stakes high so they'll reach their full potential?
But don't high stakes sometimes make other children feel like failures?
I can't say that all my children will go to college. I have a lonely feeling regarding this issue because I think most of the hs community still feels this is a necessary must, even while admitting that college life is not the same as college life was twenty years ago.
I, personally, believe it is more important to raise hard-workers than it is to have my child graduate from college. No tomatoes, please. That's just a personal observation.
Books, my oldest didn't go on to community college. I'm not sure if he will. Perhaps that right there disqualifies me from being a spokes-person for raising (and educating) a well-rounded hs graduate. He is still going to a technological school at night and we hope his job allows him to finish that, but he is doing fine because of his overall work ethic.
What I will say (what I can say) is that I've raised a very good, caring, loving, hard-working young man. No college degree under his belt but I'm still so proud of him.
He got lucky. Very lucky. He got a good job with benefits. It requires travel but I look at that as good exposure and, because of the travel, he makes a wage good enough to provide for a family...a good middle-class living if he manages his money well. I suspect a lot of this has to do with the lack of workers in Louisiana overall due to the hurricanes but, for whatever reason, the ones who get ahead in the world are the ones who grab the bull by the horns when it comes bucking by. You have to take advantage of opportunities when they present themselves, as long as you don't trample on people in the process.
I'm getting off track though.
I can't force my child to sit in a college classroom. Perhaps I could but why? when that is clearly not his calling?
My best friend's son wants to become a priest. Nowdays they want seminarians to gain a college degree with a definite major so they can take care of themselves should something happen. So my friend's son is going to college and is majoring in journalism. Neither one of these positions, which we look at as "dignified" and "well-educated" will pay him even close to what my son is getting paid now. Shouldn't someone with a college degree get paid more? One would think so, but that is not the case anymore. I know too many people in the area who have college degrees and cannot find work in the field they majored in.  College educations cost a bundle now days but I'm not sure what the payback is...spiritually as well as materialistically.
Also, Corey got the same job that another guy has who has a college degree. He told Corey that his degree did nothing for him in getting the job or in the work he is doing. Evidently.
I could go on a tangent about colleges but I guess that's material for another thread.
I have to look at his abilities and his passions and follow them. I could not conform him to the classical curriculum that so impassioned me. I couldn't lead him to water. Rather I had to follow him to the stream he led me to and observe and watch and listen and see what strenghts God had assigned him.
My oldest daughter is the total opposite. We are serious about a college education for her. She is serious. And she is working hard, in her own way, to pursue the talents in that field. We are guiding her and supporting her.
We've always tried teaching our dc that being a hard-worker is the one thing that pays off in life.
That brings me back to the 13 yr old. I don't worry about as much because I see two examples before me that have turned out quite well despite my worries and concerns and line towing.
And all this rambling (if you've read this far, God Bless You! ) and taking over Molly's thread (my apologies ) brings me to the last thing I'd like to address.
Unschooling...
I see more and more how this form of educate works and is certainly the most effective.
I often ask myself: "Will this matter five years from now?" I also never forget the time my oldest was in fourth grade (our first year hsing) and we were reading his history text on the sofa and I was insistent that he learn about some king and his country. Now see! today I can't even remember what king it was or what country. We should have been enjoying a book together about this king instead of wrestling each other and Kolbe's curriculum.
I have also witnessed that if a child finds himself in a classroom setting, outside the basics of math and english, all other subjects can be learned on the spot. What helps the most is good comprehension. A good comprehension can solve so many issues regarding "school" and that's where both my boys are weak. But my oldest still did a fantastic job when he went to our high school. The teachers praised what a "hard worker" he was.
I think the long and short of it is that while we can't make the horse drink, it is not up to us to make him. Is it? It is up to the child to get thirty enough to drink. It is up to the child to find the stream that appeals to him the most and where the water tastes the best to him.
You mention: "I don't know if Molly's ds is like mine, but if he is, then it may be impossible, short of a miracle, to help them to want to own their futures."
Don't forget that this is your future, not his. He has a lifetime ahead of him. In just a few short years, yes even for Molly's son, our dc change so radically. Children live in the "here and now". Today is yesterday's future to them. Once they begin to see their future, they will drink. They'll gulp it in as though there is no tomorrow. And they'll drink where they want, when they want. All we can hope it to get an invitation every now and then to enjoy a sip of their stream with them.
It isn't our journey. It's theirs...
(My deepest apologies for the long post. I'm waiting on dh and ds to get home and I have all this free time on my hands. I hope it isn't too exhausting.)
__________________
Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Cay Gibson
Forum All-Star
Joined: July 16 2005
Location: Louisiana
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5193
|
| Posted: Oct 17 2006 at 9:08pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Cay Gibson wrote:
My best friend's son wants to become a priest. Nowdays they want seminarians to gain a college degree with a definite major so they can take care of themselves should something happen. So my friend's son is going to college and is majoring in journalism. Neither one of these positions, which we look at as "dignified" and "well-educated" will pay him even close to what my son is getting paid now. |
|
|
I want to clarify this paragraph so no one misinterprets its meaning.
I'm not saying that what one is paid is the only thing to look for in a job. Of course, in my ds's situation (since he feels strongly called to marry and have a family), it is an important part of his calling in order to provide for the family God might send him.
Anyway, I don't want to get into another long, drawn-out post so if anyone needs me to clarify, I will. I just didn't want it being taken the wrong way.
Back to Molly's thread...
__________________
Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
MacBeth
Forum All-Star
Probably at the beach...
Joined: Jan 27 2005
Location: New York
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2518
|
| Posted: Oct 17 2006 at 9:13pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Cay, that's the longest post I have ever seen you write!
__________________
God Bless!
MacBeth in NY
Don's wife since '88; "Mom" to the Fab 4
Nature Study
MacBeth's Blog 
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
|
|
4Real Forums : High School Years and Beyond
Topic: Other high school programs?
