4Real Forums: Motivation, high school and boys

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High School Years and Beyond ( Forum Locked)
4Real Forums : High School Years and Beyond

Topic: Motivation, high school and boys

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mom2mpr
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Posted: March 13 2012 at 7:25am \| IP Logged

My14 year old seriously lacks motivation lately. I am looking at 9th grade next year and really worried. I am so close to sending him to school but I my heart know it isn't what I should do due to our school system and the culture there. But he needs discussion, interaction, different people, etc. He is so smart but not academically focused right now. Tell me this is a phase , please....
I was planning on outsourcing biology, latin( he is tutored now and more motivated for this than anything else), and I would love to find a math option, too.
I also have a very young 3rd grader who is struggling with reading and spelling and is picking up on the attitude from him. My days are not the joy they once were.
On one hand, I am tempted to throw everything out the window and just have fun and read a lot, but high school is right around the corner....

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Anne, married to dh 16 years!, ds,(97), Little One (02), and dd (02).

Erin
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Posted: March 13 2012 at 2:24pm \| IP Logged

Definitely a phase, definitely. Experienced it with my first ds, experienced it with my second ds, was hoping it would pass my third ds as he has been my most motivated ds and now he has it

My boys tend to begin this around 13 and come out of it close to 15, grade 7 & 8 here.

I know we've discussed this before (can't find the thread) and it is very common. Hang in there

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Erin
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Mary's daughter
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Posted: March 14 2012 at 1:59pm \| IP Logged

Do you have available a once-a-week co-op for high schoolers? We did this and it really helps to have them accountable to someone else. It really was an answer to prayers for us.

Stephanie

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3ringcircus
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Posted: March 14 2012 at 4:45pm \| IP Logged

I'm not in this stage because mine are so much younger. But, as a former 7 & 8 grade public school teacher, I'll let you know that many of the ones in school aren't doing much better. It's such a socially-motivated time. It also lacks the college-bound constraints that happen once they get to high school.

Your gut instinct about outsourcing school opportunities sound pretty good. So much of the time I would give glowing reports about my students during parent/teacher conferences, and the parents would be dumbfounded. They were having a heck of a time w/ the same students at home.

Any chance he'd be interested in a music or drama group? What about a Lego or robotics club? Scouts? You could meld social with learning in something like that.

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Christine
Mom to my circus of boys: G-1/06, D-1/04, S-4/10
Started HS in Fall'12

mom2mpr
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Posted: March 15 2012 at 7:11am \| IP Logged

I am glad to hear it's pretty normal. I just needed to hear it again.
We have no coop that is nearby. I am hoping the tutoring and bio class at a christian high school will suffice. He is very involved in 4H and sports. He just wants MORE social, I can see the "Socially-Motivated" time being so true--which is why I think school would help

But, it won't. It'll just introduce other problems.
He isn't choosing the best friends. And he's hanging with some kids who teach him things that aren't useful. He seemed more mature at 8-10 than he does now. So I'll just pray my way to 15 or so. Thanks all for the insight.

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Anne, married to dh 16 years!, ds,(97), Little One (02), and dd (02).

Barb.b
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Posted: March 15 2012 at 8:54am \| IP Logged

Just confirming its a phase. My older ds for sure was a different child in 7th and 8th! Absent minded, non focused and well, seemed bent on how LITTLE work he could get away with!! My dd is now that age and completely the opposite - I think I could leave her alone and she would get EVERYTHING DONE! Not my oldest at this age - he was about figuring out what he could get away with NOT doing! BUt I decided to chime in here - now he is a freshman at college (a 4 year away from home college!) and this semester will be getting somewhere around a 3.5 - 3.7 GPA! So hang in there, keep up what you are doing!!

Barb

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