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jawgee
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Location: New Hampshire
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| Posted: Jan 10 2012 at 10:25pm | IP Logged
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Elizabeth's thread about her 15YO daughter has so many great suggestions for maintaining a connection with your kids through the teen years. I really love all of the books suggestions in that thread.
Does anyone have suggestions for BOYS and virtues/character in the preteen/teen years? My oldest is only 10YO right now, but all of these wonderful suggestions for girls (and especially the oldest girls in the family) had me thinking about my two sons. I have a long time before I'll have any teenage girls!
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Monica
C (12/2001), N (11/2005), M (5/2008), J (8/2009) and three angels
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stacykay
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| Posted: Jan 12 2012 at 12:08pm | IP Logged
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Monica,
I have six boys, 7 to 23, and thanks to the current (ongoing) economy, all are at home. Seams are bursting here!
Anyhoo, I/ds/we do some of the same things listed for on the other thread.
On a rotating basis (which the boys carefully watch!,) I take one boy out each weekend. We usually go out for a lunch, but it can be anything they want to do. It gives us a chance to talk without interruption (sort of like dh and my weekly date night!) For the younger boys, it's just time and attention one-on-one with mom. For the older boys, it's a chance to talk about anything and everything. Our discussions have ranged from dating behaviors, career goals, life goals, questions of Faith, concerns about girlfriends/girls, current events, sports, school, you-name-it. I am amazed at some of the things they will bring up! and I enjoy the time probably even more than the boys do!
Eat well and exercise to keep up your energy! I have found that the time of day my availibility is needed varies as to the age of the child. My youngest boys are up and at'em very early, but my oldest sons are night-owls (the one year my now 21yods was away at school, he would invariably call at mid-night for those heart-to-heart/life talks.)
I have to keep a chore chart to make sure I am "even-steven" in doling out chores. I try to make sure there are enough things I can assign the youngest two, and make sure that I ask for their help in ear-shot of my olders, so the olders know I don't just ask them for help.
This next one may work for only a few people, but dh has his own business, and each of the boys thinks it is the coolest thing to go to work with him for a day (he makes it a short day for the youngers.)
I guess in a way, the above suggestion is another way of saying to find ways that the boys are integral in helping the family. Other things my boys have done is to help dh with various house projects, from hanging Christmas lights to even tearing out a bathroom and tiling.
One thing I have learned (it has taken me years!,) is that boys really need a physical outlet (at least mine do!) If my boys don't get a chance to play sports or run off some steam, they can be unbearable!
My dh reads to the youngest boys every night (now 7 and 10,) but he and I have done that with all of them, since they were babies.
When I notice one of the boys seems out of sorts, I might suggest a drive to pick up a soda or coffe out (both treats, obviously what depends on the age!,) and we take a little drive. It is true that some boys like to talk more when you are side by side and not looking right at them.
Other things:
dinners together
Mass together
playtime together
sporting events together (sometimes we might get a free ticket to a game or can go to a junior-level game for less.)
playing board games together
having a movie night
All of this is probably just a rehash of previous suggestions, but these are the things we do. Our boys are all kind young men/boys.
In Christ,
Stacy in MI
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leanne maree
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| Posted: Jan 12 2012 at 5:53pm | IP Logged
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Monica..
chc has a boys edition of truth for teens...
That maybe a help.
On MA, they suggest boys to men..Its a bit old but its quite good.
I think at this time as Stacy has said, time, spending time together doing something, chatting, building a relationship. it might seem obvious, but with lots of children around it can be hard to find time for each individually.
 leanne
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Leanne
Loving wife to Dermot and Adoring mother to Louise, Kristie, Kieran & Brid
http://leannemaree.blogspot.com/
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4Real Forums : High School Years and Beyond
Topic: Spinoff on H.S. "virtues" curriculum
