| Author | |
MarilynW
Forum All-Star
Joined: June 28 2006
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 4275
|
| Posted: Jan 27 2010 at 8:16pm | IP Logged
|
 |
|
How do you deal with the college dilemma - send your child to a wonderful orthodox Catholic college on the Newman List (and have them incur a lot of debt) or go to a local state college with good academics, without the Catholic ambiance, but living at home and little or no debt?
I have spent time looking at the lovely schools on the Newman list - but even with scholarship, there is room and board to pay and debt would be significant. But then the idea of my children being surrounded by like-minded Catholics, having a great study program and probably meeting their future spouses and friends for life there is such a draw. Yet we so do not want our children to have massive debt to start off their lives - it would not be a good incentive to marrying young and having families young.
Just some musings - anyone else have any views on the subject?
__________________
Marilyn
Blessed with 6 gifts from God
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
JodieLyn
Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 06 2006
Location: Oregon
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 12234
|
| Posted: Jan 27 2010 at 8:20pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
How about mitigating the cost.. stay at home and get classes from a community college enough so that you transfer as a junior and only go to the good Catholic College for 2 years.
ETA - or maybe online classes? I see there's an online college on the Newman list.
__________________
Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Mary G
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5790
|
| Posted: Jan 27 2010 at 8:54pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Having just gone thru this with my 18yod I can answer this one ....
First, the private schools look like they cost more but often they have huge endowments/scholarship funds that allow the "cost" (incl r/b) to come close to, if not below, state schools.
When Catie was looking at colleges over the last few years, she chose the ones she wanted to attend ... regardless of cost ... and applied to both Catholic and secular, maybe a total of 6 or so. These schools were chosen for major, location, Catholic/good campus ministry, primarily on-campus student body (as opposed to commuter campus). The aid she needed she got from Ave Maria which was an out-of-the-blue choice ... Holy Spirit nudging her? I don't know but I do know that, in the words of my dear father, "keep your options open and let God do what He wills" ....
It doesn't cost much to apply to colleges ... many will waive the application fee if you apply online or know an alumnus or the cost is minor. Applying for financial aid ... even if you think you don't qualify ... is a MUST! They can't give you aid if they don't know your situation.
And Jodie, the better way would be to go to the Catholic college first and then transfer if need be ... the 18-20 age is a tough transition and I'd want my kids in a comfortable, relatively familiar setting in that it's Catholic (or good campus ministry) but still the college experience.
But, bottom line ... EVERY child in EVERY family is different and only thru prayer and investigation can we come close to discerning God's will for each ...
__________________
MaryG
3 boys (22, 12, 8)2 girls (20, 11)
my website that combines my schooling, hand-knits work, writing and everything else in one spot!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
LisaR
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2226
|
| Posted: Jan 27 2010 at 9:56pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Mary G wrote:
First, the private schools look like they cost more but often they have huge endowments/scholarship funds that allow the "cost" (incl r/b) to come close to, if not below, state schools.
... |
|
|
YES!! we are discovering this too.
and, dh and I are products of steubenville in the '90's when there was not much in the way of scholarships. we had to pay our way through undergrad and dh's Master's there.
BEST and ONLY debt we have ever incurred besides home and car. Priceless.
there is honestly not a day still when we don't thank God for the blessings of the great education we received.
Interesting thought:
a few moms were talking with me about how parents want to protect their children from debt, but could be doing so at the cost of their salvation, and they wish there was more talk the other way around:
that we want to protect our young adults souls as much as possible, and will pay the price to do so, even if it means being financially uncomfortable.
we ARE having ds take dual enrollment credits through Catholic High School and local Community college.
his "freshman" year, he should technically be a sophomore....
University of IL is only 2,000 less per year for in state residents than Ave Maria University....seems like community colleges are the only bargains left out there!
__________________
Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
LisaR
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2226
|
| Posted: Jan 27 2010 at 9:58pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Mary G wrote:
And Jodie, the better way would be to go to the Catholic college first and then transfer if need be ... the 18-20 age is a tough transition and I'd want my kids in a comfortable, relatively familiar setting in that it's Catholic (or good campus ministry) but still the college experience.
|
|
|
this is so interesting. recently we heard the same thing!!
__________________
Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
stefoodie
Forum Moderator
Joined: Feb 17 2005
Location: Ohio
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 8457
|
| Posted: Jan 27 2010 at 11:33pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
if our dd's interests had matched a *faithful* Catholic college elsewhere, we would have done almost anything to send her there even if it meant $$$ or even a bit of debt. as it happened, her desired major matched with the local cc/university joint program. she does intend to go to steubie after for her master's in Theology (assuming that's God's will for her and things don't drastically change between now and then).
we like that she's local. and she likes that she's local. and we like that we're not in debt (yet, and hopefully won't be). do we wish she were in a more Catholic atmosphere/environment or surrounded by more Catholic peers? of course. but in staying here we also are able to continue to guide her through the transition, plus she's also been able to find like-minded, spiritually-focused peers. so she's not surrounded everyday by a bunch of devout Catholics, but the handful she's found so far have been good additions to her circle of friends.
everything has its own pros and cons. even though "the Catholic ambiance" is missing from her college, we create/she finds enough of that outside to keep a nice balance. for instance, outside of school she still does the ff:
a) lead youth music ministry (Catholic), about an hour away, which we go to once a month as a family -- wonderful, faithful young couple leads this group
b) Theology on Tap local -- not off the ground yet but she keeps in touch with the planners/organizers
c) church, e.g., recently attending a dinner hosted by our parish priest and vicar for the young adults in the parish
d) local Catholic homeschoolers
e) local Singles for Christ chapter -- another one that she's helping start
f) planning to join local Dead Theologians Society, etc.
and of course, lots of prayers for those graces to keep pouring in, and for constant protection from temptation and evil!!
__________________
stef
mom to five
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
guitarnan
Forum Moderator
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Maryland
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 10883
|
| Posted: Jan 27 2010 at 11:42pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I think it depends on the schools and family situations, though. We're a smaller family (less likely to qualify for financial aid) and my son's options for an affordable education are more likely to be state universities. He is very willing to live at home for a year or two (at least) in order to maximize the use of the funds available to him. He is devout enough to seek out campus ministry wherever he goes to school. He does not want to end up with thousands of dollars of debt because he feels called to the married life and wants to give his family every advantage. For him, attending a Catholic university (that probably doesn't have his engineering-related major, anyway) is not necessarily the best plan. He would worry so much about burdening his future family that spiritual benefits would end up being set aside.
I went to public university and often attended Mass 3x per weekend because of my music ministry. I graduated debt-free and firmly committed to the Faith. I know this was a good choice for me - I went to a well-known university, one recognized far from home, which was good for a military wife/mom looking for work - and I also recognize that what worked for me won't work for every single person.
My point? We all have to trust in the Lord; He will provide. We have to spend time in prayer and work to discern our vocations.
__________________
Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Mary G
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5790
|
| Posted: Jan 28 2010 at 5:28am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Please don't misunderstand ... I am definitely NOT saying only Catholic schools will protect our kids and ALL secular schools are hot-beds of vice.
I think each child is different and needs different things ... by turning it over to God (after due-diligence of course, which includes looking at ALL possibilities ... incl the military, trade school or whatever), the discernment process helps the student (and family) find the perfect fit.
I have a niece who just graduated from UNC-Greely(CO) and never strayed from her strong Catholic faith (thank God for FOCUS!) while other kids I know lost their faith at Steubenville or Ave or Benedictine. No one situation will fit all .... for instance, when Catie went to look at Christendom, she was "horrified"  by how small it was (only 300+ students) but knew that LSU (with it's 20,000+ students) was too big and her brother, altho there, wouldn't be much help to her.
OH, and on the mom-front .... nothing will ease the worries, fears, trepidations, hopes and dreams better than PRAYER, and lots of it. 
__________________
MaryG
3 boys (22, 12, 8)2 girls (20, 11)
my website that combines my schooling, hand-knits work, writing and everything else in one spot!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
MarilynW
Forum All-Star
Joined: June 28 2006
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 4275
|
| Posted: Jan 28 2010 at 6:55am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Dear all - thank you all for sharing your views. This is something that is weighing heavily on my mind and I so appreciate your input.
__________________
Marilyn
Blessed with 6 gifts from God
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
crusermom
Forum All-Star
Joined: Aug 09 2007
Location: New Jersey
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 878
|
| Posted: Jan 28 2010 at 7:30am | IP Logged
|
|
|
I would tell you to pray and then apply and see what happens. According to the FAFSA - our family contribution is enormous. So, basically it was no financial aid. It was interesting how some schools made our kids great offers and other schools offered us nothing.
I know that some schools (Christendom and UD) offer great academic based scholarships. The state schools here offered us nothing. So, in the long run the great Catholic school was a much better deal.
So, it might not be such a clear cut choice. And I have heard of some secular colleges that have great and vibrant Catholic communities. For DD #1 - we really thought a small Catholic college was the way to go. So - she is at Christendom. And for my DS #2 - who likes to argue - I thought a school with no one to really argue with might be a problem. So, he is a Notre Dame. Plenty of opportunities for taking the opposite side of the issue there.
So - each child is different and you really need to look around. I think making blanket statements like - only a Catholic college or you must graduate with no debt - might put you in a corner.
__________________
Mary
Army wife and Crusermom to 8 wonderful children!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
MarilynW
Forum All-Star
Joined: June 28 2006
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 4275
|
| Posted: Jan 28 2010 at 7:43am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Mary G wrote:
| But, bottom line ... EVERY child in EVERY family is different and only thru prayer and investigation can we come close to discerning God's will for each ... |
|
|
crusermom wrote:
So - each child is different and you really need to look around. I think making blanket statements like - only a Catholic college or you must graduate with no debt - might put you in a corner.
|
|
|
Wise words - thank you - I still have a couple of years to figure all this out before my first child starts the whole college search. Sometimes it all seems overwhelming - but like everything else with parenting and homeschooling, I know we will deal with it as it arrives....
__________________
Marilyn
Blessed with 6 gifts from God
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Mary G
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5790
|
| Posted: Jan 28 2010 at 7:46am | IP Logged
|
|
|
MarilynW wrote:
| Jodie - in response to your question - the orthodox Liberal Arts colleges that I have talked to want their students to be there for all 4 years of the program - that is why for Catholic colleges dual enrollment, CLEP etc mean less - they WANT you to do the full program - at least that is how I understand it... |
|
|
Yes, TAC for instance wants you there all 4 years. Another issue is a school like Wyoming Catholic which isn't accredited yet, so doesn't get federal aid (which means no federal student loans) ... but I think just about any small school will work with you. Don't take "no" for an answer or your FAFSA est family contribution .... talk to someone (either thru email or on the phone ... or better yet, if your student REALLY wants to go to an "expensive" school get them calling and hunting down a way to get there that is cost-effective! -- can you tell that's my pet peeve?  )
__________________
MaryG
3 boys (22, 12, 8)2 girls (20, 11)
my website that combines my schooling, hand-knits work, writing and everything else in one spot!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Angie Mc
Board Moderator
Joined: Jan 31 2005
Location: Arizona
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 11400
|
| Posted: Jan 28 2010 at 12:08pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
MarilynW wrote:
How do you deal with the college dilemma - send your child to a wonderful orthodox Catholic...
|
|
|
...or not. I see no delemma here because I don't ask myself this question. My dh and I ask ourselves, "What does God want for this young adult and how can we help?" Plus, we daily help our children to discern God's will for themselves, so they ask, "What does God want of me and how can I say, 'yes'?" They are encouraged to see their interests and talents as part of the answer. They are supported to have a strong prayer life - to build their relationship with God - and to talk with Him about these matters. We ask them to focus mostly on today - to do it well - and to entrust their future to God's divine providence.
LisaR wrote:
Interesting thought:
a few moms were talking with me about how parents want to protect their children from debt, but could be doing so at the cost of their salvation, and they wish there was more talk the other way around:
that we want to protect our young adults souls as much as possible, and will pay the price to do so, even if it means being financially uncomfortable.
|
|
|
Once again, I think this is a false choice - either Catholic college/expensive/save-their-soul or other school/inexpensive/hell? If this was true, this would be an easy decision to make. I feel safe in assuming that all of us here have the salvation of our childrens' souls at the very top of our priority list  and that no loving and wise Catholic parents would put their child's soul at risk to save a buck, right? "What does God want for this young adult and how can we help?" is a more true, helpful, and reasonable question to ask and answer, I think.
Marilyn, this is a sensitive topic for sure, so I don't want to be glib here or act like I don't understand the pressure to send all children to a Catholic college - and there *is* this pressure in Catholic circles. I know first-hand the pain of my dd, who was accepted into a prestigious public school, to not be congratulated but rather to be asked in a disappointed tone, "Why aren't you going to a Catholic College?" I know the pain of being told point blank to my face that public Colleges are "the work of the devil." At this point in my home education career, we do our best to protect ourselves from this type of attack on our prudential decisions. And...what a proud moment for me to over hear my dd refute such a blatant discourtesy by calmly replying something like this..."My choice wasn't against a Catholic College but a choice for the path God is calling me to. Do you want to hear my reasons?"
Love,
__________________
Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
About Me
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
MaryM
Board Moderator
Joined: Feb 11 2005
Location: Colorado
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 13104
|
| Posted: Jan 28 2010 at 12:49pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Angie Mc wrote:
| And...what a proud moment for me to over hear my dd refute such a blatant discourtesy by calmly replying something like this..."My choice wasn't against a Catholic College but a choice for the path God is calling me to. Do you want to hear my reasons?" |
|
|
I have no fears for this child's soul where ever she would go to college..What a kid! 
__________________
Mary M. in Denver
Our Domestic Church
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
MarilynW
Forum All-Star
Joined: June 28 2006
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 4275
|
| Posted: Jan 28 2010 at 1:29pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Oh dear Angie - I certainly did not know that this is a sensitive topic - or that there is the kind of "Catholic college snobbery" such as your poor daughter had to endure.  I am very new to the whole considering college thing - and this possible dilemma is just something I started thinking about in the last couple of weeks.
I certainly am not of the view that equates going to a Catholic or Christian college with saving my child's soul. (as I mentioned neither my dh or I went to a Catholic college - we lived in dorms and often in very ungodly environments - but we never lost our faith - and we found each other  )
The main benefit I see in orthodox Catholic colleges is the community and like minded spirits - I guess right now our family is always quite different in our faith, our family size, our homeschooling - and I think it may be quite a nice change for my children to be in environments where other kids are from similar families.
BUT - my oldest is a very young teenager now - the one big thing I have not yet had to consider is where the children themselves WANT to go to college - they may not want any of the options I think about....
__________________
Marilyn
Blessed with 6 gifts from God
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
ALmom
Forum All-Star
Joined: May 18 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 3299
|
| Posted: Jan 28 2010 at 2:04pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Marilyn:
I so identify with your struggle to know what is right. It is so hard at the beginning of a child's high school when it is easy to forget the Catholic principal at play in these decisions about the future path of adult children because we have been protecting their exposure, making sure they have had the air of truth to blossom. When our dd was in 9th or 10th grade, I couldn't imagine her being anywhere but a Catholic college. At that point, my attitude was that somehow God would provide. Somehow, the money, the distance, etc. would all be taken care of. (And I still believe with all my heart that if this is where God had wanted her, this is true). As it turned out, dd never even applied to any of these Catholic schools because they didn't offer anything in the area she knew God wanted her to develop. But by the time she made the decision for the secular college, we were very much at peace, knowing that this was where God wanted her at this point in her life. God led us, her parents, gently to this point but I must say I even wrote Msgr Schuller asking for Catholic colleges that provided music. We left no stone unturned.
We, as parents, really are stretched at this point in early high school because we are going through a transition ourselves - in learning to let our children fly from the nest in the way and with the appropriate support and at the proper time - but not holding them back by our own fears. It is a painful, growing time. Trust God, He is very, very good in all of this. He gives peace to the parents as well as to the child.
We remember that our children are the ones who will be called and must discern, they are the ones who must choose in the end. That does not mean that parents don't have an important and essential role to guide this process. Be who you are and ask the questions that concern you. Make sure they are aware of the realities - both the real dangers on campuses (there are real challenges to faith, physical dangers, temptations, but also some real jewels carefully tucked away in hidden corners at even the most secular schools), but also the dangers of a false sense of security on Catholic campuses that sometimes will cause a young lady not to have her guard up, the limits of your family's financial contributions, the reality of scholarships and other such and that if you don't apply early, you won't get them but also many of the private, expensive schools (secular and Catholic) have large endowments and thus often offer generous scholarships that you won't be offered unless you apply. Talk together a lot about what is potentially given up and gained in any potential choices. (Lots of communication!)
We were very much like Angie (including some of the angst about the secular school our dd went to and she had to stay in a dorm). There really should not be any tension - go to college or not, go to Catholic college or not, etc. , etc. The answer is in helping the child consider all the real facts of the particular situation, prayerfully discern where God is calling, do not close doors for whatever reason presuming you already know the will of God. He really does lead - and sometimes in some surprising ways and in directions you would never have imagined.
The actual cost, you really don't know until you apply and see what is offered and figure out opportunities for work, etc. That is one of the clearest ways we saw God opening and closing doors in our case, but we were not blindly ignoring temptations, etc. At some point we simply all knew that this is where God wanted her and we were at peace..
We also were sure that our dd knew the reality of things in the particular schools she was considering. She had been, what most would consider, very sheltered at home. We made sure we visited and looked at dorm situations - they vary everywhere from opportunities for all female dorms to co-ed by room and even had a friend whose children went to U Penn and they had to vote on whether or not the bathroom on their floor would be co-ed. You don't find this out unless you ask up front - and rather directly, but don't ask the official tour guides. Ask students wandering about campus, or the RA (the RAs generally can tell you tons more about what a dorm is really like), or the adult who mans any desk. We talked to security folks, we asked a lot (a really lot ) of questions all the time. If a particular dorm had 24 hour security, we asked why and didn't just assume that meant it was extra secure (sometimes it did, sometimes it was because there were more problems in that dorm). We went on-line and looked at the student newspaper, we looked at events being offered, we looked at the mandatory crime reports - but realize colleges are only required to report those on campus - you find out additional information by talking to students who have the inside news on students who were on public streets. The safe ride may be touted by officials at the University to assure mom and dad and the reality is that it is basically carting drunks around. You need to know that. My husband went on the official parent tour and I wandered around campus, eavesdropping and asking my own informal questions - sometimes with dd, sometimes without. We shared with each other what different folks told us (generally the official campus is telling you what they think will reassure parents, often the students are told very different things and getting a really talkative student you find out all kinds of things. Oh, we also spoke to security and had our dd attend their optional session). Sometimes security is university hired and sometimes they are local police - know how independent they are.
We went to the campuses our dd was looking at - more than once if possible, when school was in session, informally and formally, walked around informally, asked blunt questions of anything that concerned us (ask dd she sometimes wanted to crawl under the table with some of what we asked - but I think she appreciated having full knowledge in the end). We looked at them at night, we observed how easily folks did or did not follow dorm safety rules. We went to Mass where our dd was likely to be going. We did our best to speak casually with students (whether they shared our views or not) and got tons of information that you will never get at the parent meetings or formal college visits. (One young lady volunteered, "Oh you don't want to be in that dorm, nothing ever happens there, it is too dull." Thanks to her, dd knew which dorm she wanted if she went there. Had she not gotten that dorm, she had already decided that she would not go. We were not allowed to choose dorms, they did not assign her to that dorm, she called the University and requested a change - giving reasons related to location and practical stuff and the University reassigned her to the dorm she wanted. (It was a proud moment for me when I heard my dd say - if they don't change my dorm, I'm not going and this after we had already decided that this was her best option).
We certainly looked at the advantages and disadvantages of all kinds of things. It was not a question of losing the faith - If something would destroy her faith, then it isn't worth it and we continually asked God for guidance. It was clear our dd shared this value. However, we had been educating her for a long time and at some point, we do need to be able to live in the world but not of it. The discernment is in terms of timing. Our dd faith was grown in a secular college by the very real challenges she faced in an environment with very, very little support. God had prepared her for this by the experiences of lonliness, being differnent, etc. that she had endured in high school. He had some reason for leading her there.
The reasons God placed her there have turned out to be different than the ones we initially thought. We do not doubt that this is where God wanted her.
Janet
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Angel
Forum All-Star
Joined: April 22 2006
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2293
|
| Posted: Jan 28 2010 at 2:29pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Janet, this was an incredibly useful post. Thank you.
__________________
Angela
Mom to 9, 7 boys and 2 girls
Three Plus Two
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Angie Mc
Board Moderator
Joined: Jan 31 2005
Location: Arizona
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 11400
|
| Posted: Jan 28 2010 at 2:41pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
MarilynW wrote:
Oh dear Angie - I certainly did not know that this is a sensitive topic - or that there is the kind of "Catholic college snobbery" such as your poor daughter had to endure. I am very new to the whole considering college thing - and this possible dilemma is just something I started thinking about in the last couple of weeks.
.... |
|
|
Oh dear, Marilyn - I am sorry to be so blunt! Praise God, you haven't had to deal with some of the discourtesy that we have faced. That means you are doing a much better job than I did of protecting yourself and your family . You are also doing a great job of asking important questions and are right to see the challenge of choosing colleges, Catholic and other. I'm not personally sensitive about the topic of Catholic/other college (although I have some strong opinions ) but I have seen this topic come to blows both IRL and online. Fortunately, for every nay-sayer or "rain on our parade" jab, there have been many, many reassurances and compliments (not that we're fishing  .) The number of lovely, thoughtful, kind, and respectful Catholics who see God's divine and mysterious calling in all of this has far out-weighed any difficulties (and difficult people) we have faced. Besides, these difficulties make us stronger and challenge us to be more clear. In that, we are blessed.
Love,
__________________
Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
About Me
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
guitarnan
Forum Moderator
Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Maryland
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 10883
|
| Posted: Jan 28 2010 at 3:25pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
And, FWIW, this type of Catholic vs. secular discussion (and jibing) has gone on for years, not only in homeschooling circles. My high school guidance counselor (Catholic high school) found it astounding that I chose a big public university over a nearby small Catholic one. She and other faculty members seemed to see it as detrimental to our high school's reputation, too.
It took me a long time to see my son's choices as part of his own discernment process rather than as outcomes of the parameters dh and I set for him (what we can pay for, etc.). It turns out that he sees college as part of a longer process that will help him fulfill his vocation as husband and father (and he definitely feels called to raise a Catholic family).
It's so helpful to read everyone's thoughts on this issue.
__________________
Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
MarilynW
Forum All-Star
Joined: June 28 2006
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 4275
|
| Posted: Jan 28 2010 at 3:38pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Angel wrote:
| Janet, this was an incredibly useful post. Thank you. |
|
|
Amen. Janet once again your wisdom and generosity in sharing your experiences are so appreciated
Even if it terrifies the wits out of me. The idea of my children having to make these decisions and leave home makes me all tearful 
__________________
Marilyn
Blessed with 6 gifts from God
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
|
|
4Real Forums : High School Years and Beyond
Topic: The Catholic College dilemma?
