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LisaR Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005 Location: N/A
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Posted: Feb 07 2006 at 1:51pm | IP Logged
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Hi! I always thought we would be homeschooling High School, but now dh and I are having second thoughts. Dh teachesa series of classes each year at the local Catholic High School. For the past 7 years, he comes home and tells me the horrible things he observed and heard. About a month ago he went in to teach and came home impressed! He could not believe all of the great and obvious changes that had occured due to new administration, lots of prayer, and the addition of many more "good" families to the school.
The next night he took Joseph, 7th grade to the open house and they both had a wonderful time.
Dh has always been so prayerful and strong with regards to homeschooling. Very involved and NOT the type to say maybe we should throw in the towel when I am having a bad day/week/year. I am taking his interest in Josephs schooling seriously because he has been this way.
Joseph and I have been having struggles. He really does his best work for the cooperative school we attend once a week all day. He does excellent in Boy Scouts and plays all sports with our local Catholic School. I feel like when he is at home with me, he is sullen and reserved, or babysitting for me, or sneaking gameboy or computer, and arguing about school work.
I have started to think that maybe just maybe boys in general have different needs than girls as they enter the teen years, and perhaps a bit of away time from mom would be good?
We are so NOT naive when it comes to what is happening at the High Schools, even the best ones have loads of problems and I know it would be far from perfect.
I'd love to hear any advice or stories of what has worked with your families with regards to high school and boys!
thanks! love,
__________________ Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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TracyQ Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005 Location: New York
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Posted: Feb 07 2006 at 4:49pm | IP Logged
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Wow Lisa, that's a tough decision, isn't it?
I know, I felt SO SCARED when our oldest was going to begin high school years, and making the decision of whether or not to keep homeschooling or send him to school was very difficult.
We asked him his thoughts and feelings, and without a doubt wanted to keep homeschooling. He said, *I want to get my work done, and do things I like to do. All my cousins have tons of work to do, and never get to do anything they like to do.* So we honored his request, and allowed that to be a good majority of our decision. I could see his point, and was glad it was what he wanted.
We may not have allowed him to go to high school if he wanted to go, or we may have. But he would have had to go to the public school, so that was a big part of our decision too.
I do understand what you mean about needing time away from mom. There are times our son needs that, and so we try to give him *space*, and find his own nitch.
We have a huge extended family, and our kids'cousins are their friends. They hang around with them, going to their house to see movies. They hang around with their friends too, and are a part of their groups often. So he does have time away from mom and dad, and siblings.
We involve him in organized sports, he's been in little league baseball for years, and will be again this year. He's met many kids from there, one even a homeschooled boy. Both of our teenage sons were in flag football this past Fall in a homeschool/christian school league that was a lot of fun.
Boys need activity and need to get their agression out. He talks to his cousins online on AOL IM, but we're always careful with the internet and talking online, and our computer is in the kitchen, right where we can see it, and the rule is we're able to read or look at whatever is there whenever we want.
I guess all I can say is pray, pray, pray. Pray with your dh, and if both of you decide that the Holy Spirit is helping you to discern that your son should go to high school, then He'll make that known to you. If not, He'll make that known to you as well. You'll feel a peace about whatever decision you make if it's truly from Him.
I think no matter our choice for high school, it's a scary time for parents, a huge transition takes place, and we're often uneasy, and Satan loves to use that to his full advantage, making us wonder and question, making us feel inadequate, and feel guilty no matter what our decisons are! It's a field day for him, and no picnic for us.
But little by little, the Lord gives us *glimpses* as to the fruits of our obedience to follow His will, whatever that is. He'll do that for you too, if you're truly following in obedience to His will for your son.
I'll pray He leads you to the decision and will He has for you and your family, and that He'll bless you in that decision.
__________________ Blessings and Peace,
Tracy Q.
wife of Marty for 20 years, mom of 3 wonderful children (1 homeschool graduate, 1 12th grader, and a 9th grader),
homeschooling in 15th year in Buffalo, NY
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teachingmyown Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 20 2005 Location: Virginia
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Posted: Feb 14 2006 at 8:56am | IP Logged
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Lisa,
I have been thinking about your post for days. I am in such a state of confusion with my oldest, that I hardly seem qualified to answer at all.
That said, I will give it a shot anyway! First of all, a good Catholic school was not an option for us. The closest school that we could trust was about 45 minutes away. That is just too much when you have all the other children and I am about to have a baby as well. So, we put him in public school.
I completely regret my decision and am now finding it difficult to reverse. I was up against a wall (so I thought) when I made the decision, newly pregnant and in the middle of moving.
My advice to you is to look honestly at your son's personality. I had always said that my son was too "cool" for school. I was right. He is so wrapped up in being popular, that little else matters. And the climate of the school just sucks kids like that in.
If your problems with your son are just tension between you two, I would hold off for another year or so. Your son is at a very hard age, especially where his relationship with you is concerned. Unfortunately, it might get worse before it gets better. But if you can turn over as much of the oversight for school and discipline to your husband, you will come through it without having to put your son in school and exposing him to all that is out there.
On the other hand, if you feel your son will not be sucked in by peer pressure, if being cool isn't important to him, then there are certainly positives about high school.
Pray about it, and specifically pray about his strenghts and weaknesses when it comes to peer relations and his Faith.
My son told me last night that it was impossible to be good at school because "everyone" was so bad. That is scary!
I will continue to pray for you.
__________________ In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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MaryM Board Moderator
Joined: Feb 11 2005 Location: Colorado
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Posted: Feb 14 2006 at 6:30pm | IP Logged
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Lisa,
I’m glad that Molly bumped this thread again. I started a response to it last week, but hadn’t finished. I’m answering this having had a positive experience with sending our oldest sons to a local Catholic high school. This question also kind of dove-tails with the discussion about MacBeth's son suddenly deciding he wants to go to high school. There are interesting thoughts and perspectives in that discussion.
LisaR wrote:
Joseph and I have been having struggles. He really does his best work for the cooperative school we attend once a week all day. |
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This was also happening with us. My oldest is really stubborn (a good thing in many, many ways - but I digress) and our temperaments seemed to clash more and more as I tried to get him to do certain things for me (i.e. writing mostly - wish I'd known about Bravewriter then). Anyway it was one piece in the decision process that followed. My son was also really interested in continuing to play organized sports (baseball to be specific) and the options for that become much more limited once you hit high school years. Here you can try out for your local public school's athletic teams and they have to treat you like any other student trying out - but the fact of the matter is it is very competitive for athletic spots here and if you aren't really a student you often don't get a fair shake (unless you were oh let's say a homeschooled LaBron James ). The local Catholic high schools tend not to include homeschool students. Thirdly he was feeling a desire to have an expanded social network (and he is actually quite reserved and somewhat of an introvert). He just needs a couple friends but a bigger pool offered more opportunities to find people he clicked with since he is pretty particular. Anyway those were the major factors that led us to look at schooling options for high school. It was a possibility for us mostly because there was a smaller Catholic HS available that had a solid theology department and a stronger Catholic identity than the other Catholic HSs. We didn’t open up the choice for him really beyond this option.
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I have started to think that maybe just maybe boys in general have different needs than girls as they enter the teen years, and perhaps a bit of away time from mom would be good? |
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I don’t know if it is boys per se or more temperaments. But my sole experience with that so far has been boys.
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We are so NOT naive when it comes to what is happening at the High Schools, even the best ones have loads of problems and I know it would be far from perfect. |
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And that is the truth - there is stuff happening in even the best schools. No school is perfect. Our school also has lots of really solid families - it's the school that the orthodox Catholic families tend to send their children to. That is a plus, and it helps when there is an issue we want to address with the school. There are many families who rally for the same issues. And I want to say that as much as I love it, homeschooling isn’t perfect either. Granted we aren’t going to be worried about the same issues we would in sending our children to a school. But we need to be honest and admit that while there are things that we gain when we homeschool , there are also things we give up and vis-versa. It’s a matter of prayerfully discerning and determining what is best for each child/family in a particular circumstance. And not everyone has options that they would consider good alternatives for their children at that given time and place. So many variables.
Sometimes I get defensive about the decision to send our sons to high school as some will consider it “throwing in the towel” or “exposing children to dangers/evil.” It is a really hard choice and not taken lightly, but like I said there is no perfect choice.
There have been some unexpected benefits for us out of them going to school. My boys have gotten to know some awesome Dominican sisters and be influenced by them. The sister who teaches senior theology (a life ethics class and a marriage and family class) has had a profound impact on my 17 year old. He is so articulate in his communicating about the faith and these issues. He has corrected me on theological points, quotes JP II’s encyclicals. I just don’t think that he would have taken from me the same information so well.
He has had an opportunity to be on a baseball team that won the state championship last spring. Awesome experience for him. Not that a championship like that is in many high school students’ experiences, but the whole team effort of working toward a goal has been really good for him.
I know this one will go against preconceived notions since we tend to think of homeschooling as the best opportunity for our children to develop close bonds with their siblings, but in their case going to school has done that. My sons have pretty much always gotten along fine, but this year with them driving to high school together (they share the ride each way), playing baseball on the same team for the first time ever, hanging out with each others’ friends at lunch (my senior son is one of the few seniors who opts to not leave campus), I am amazed at how close they have become. They consider each other close friends. They talk to each other and share related to this shared experience. My 14 year old is getting the benefit of sage advice about school from his older brother.
There are things that have happened at the school we haven’t liked and there has been less than positive behaviors of some students, but my boys have made really wise choices. I have been able to see them develop identities that are not peer dependent. So we have experienced that it is possible even if they are in the school setting. Earlier I attributed it to the fact that my oldest was a bit of an introvert (and stubborn) and didn’t feel a need to fit in by doing what the other kids were doing (slacking off, partying, etc.), but I’m also seeing a strong character in this same regard in my next son who is a total extrovert and loves to be the center of attention and well-liked. He knows he can be who he is and still say no to behaviors that he knows not to be involved in and he doesn't care if that changes if others like him.
They have had to face some of these things here with us still present and while they are living under our roof. I’ve seen their choices and character. I really reflect on this in relation to my oldest since it is so imminent that he will head off to college, but I like what I see and I feel good about “letting go.”
__________________ Mary M. in Denver
Our Domestic Church
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Mary G Forum All-Star
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Posted: Feb 15 2006 at 6:18am | IP Logged
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Molly -- I had a similar problem with my two oldest. When we came back from Austria, I was still homeschooling them but then we moved 5 minutes from the really good private, Catholic school dh was teaching at so they really wanted to go too.
Cate finished her 7th and 8th grades there and then wanted to come home because she wanted to do languages and knew she would have more time and freedom to study what she wants to at home. We enrolled her in Seton -- so I wouldn't have the teariness and fighting of grading her work and she'd have an accredited diploma when she's done.
Joe stayed at the school for half of 9th, all of 10th and half of 11th. We just pulled him this Christmas. It's been the best thing we could have done for all. He misses his friends and school, but he also knows we're trying to help him LEARN not just pass classes. He was a lowest-common-denominator type of kid who dumbed down to whatever minimum we set. We had him sign a contract at the beginning of the year and he didn't fulfill it by Christmas , so we pulled him. I think he subconsciously wanted to come home -- he wants to work and buy a car, save for college and he enjoys learning with living books (ie, The Wizard of Quarks in lieu of his physics text). He has gotten back to being our son and his siblings' brother -- a veritable win-win all around.
But everyone HAS to do what works for their family. MaryM's example is one that shows it can be done. Mine is one that shows that you can send them but it's not an irrevocable decision.....
Hope this helps. I'll keep you in my prayers -- I know this is such a hard thing to worry about....
__________________ MaryG
3 boys (22, 12, 8)2 girls (20, 11)
my website that combines my schooling, hand-knits work, writing and everything else in one spot!
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LisaR Forum All-Star
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Posted: Feb 15 2006 at 8:08am | IP Logged
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Thank you so much for responding to my post. I am having a broad, general struggle within myself realizing that homeschooling is not always THE only or best option. I know I struggle with pride and with always wanting to be able to defend our homeschool choice as THE best and THE only real option. Then I am struggling realizing that my oldest ds is growing up- and what would REALLY be best for him? Is babysitting younger siblings and playing gameboy and computer really the best I can do for him on days when I can't be present 100% to his education? I guess I just don't have that fear of school anymore. He might NOT get sucked in to the bad crowds. He might actually grow closer to his brothers, as Mary M described. And I just don't think that a fear of school should influence me to keep him out. Maybe I do have a double standard- but my ds is a normal, "cool" kid who really does not thrive or try his best when he is homebound most of the time- and I am starting to accept that. thanks for chatting and listening to my ramblings!
__________________ Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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Leonie Forum All-Star
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Posted: Feb 16 2006 at 12:49am | IP Logged
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LisaR,
I hope you can gain some peace about this issue.
I am a mother who has homeschooled boys only. And, yes three through high school and two currently of high school age, plus a thirteen eyar old and a younger son.
I feel strongly about homeschooling throgh high school.
This is not to say that others have to do what I do. Just that, for me, homeschooling is the only option.
Why?
Mainly because of what I see in the families of friends with children in school. Some of these are in school because the mother and child had issues. In each case, school has not been the greatest thing for the parent-child relationship.
I am happy to see that this has all worked well for Mary M so the above statement is not an absolute - but, I know, deep in my heart, that sending my sons to school would not be positive for family relationships - in the long term.
I "get around" problems with time out together for discussion and to hang out. Time to hang out with dad. Outside activities, including fun and work and volunteer work.
And lots of prayer and discussion again.
Would I force a child to stay home? Yes and no. Gasp.
I wouldn't force but I would try to find a way to address the apparent needs through homeschooling and flexible options rather than through full time school.
Can your dh identify exactly what it is that he feels is good about school for your son? Is school the best way to go or can this need be met anothor way?
It *is* a very individual decision but I thought I'd share my POV.
And I hope I am not stepping on any toes.
I'll pray for you and your decision...
__________________ Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
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MacBeth Forum All-Star
Probably at the beach...
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Posted: Feb 16 2006 at 9:02am | IP Logged
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The first thing I thought when Trip said he wanted to go to high school was, "What would Leonie do?"
OK. Maybe it wasn't the first thing, but it was definitely in there.
Lisa, I don't know how all this is going to turn out for me, so I am afraid I cannot give you any advice, but I can tell you the circumstances that lead to us allowing him to go.
First, Libby is going to music school two days a week. She has spent two summers away from home, and done one music tour in Europe. Don and I have gone out of our way to provide Libby with a first-rate musical education because she wants to pursue a career in music. All other subjects (except German) are taught at home.
When we decided to send her to the music school and summer programs, it was clear to her that we would not allow her relationship with her family to suffer in any way. She is still expected to do her chores, take hikes with us, and spend time with us when she is not busy. Yes, she has many friends from music, and she sees them outside of music school, but she knows that family is the priority. We make exceptions if she is practicing for something like a competition or jury.
Overall, since she is now following a school schedule (in terms of time off), and getting grades for her coursework, we have had to adjust our lives a bit.
Now it's Trip's turn. If you had asked me 2 months ago, I would have been in Leonie's corner. Actually...I am still in Leonie's corner . All things being equal, I would keep Trip home. But things are not equal...this high school is only 3 miles from the house; it has wonderful facilities on a huge campus; it is theologically sound, and he is very interested in theology; he wants to join the debate team (if you knew Trip, you'd think that funny, as he never talks). All his reasons are good reasons. He has expressed them well, and he knows that he is welcome to come home if he is not happy there. As you said, Lisa, even the best high school will have problems, and we anticipate some adjustment. We are also familiar with the school, and the philosophy of the Marianist priests and brothers, and feel that the strict honor code, rigorous academics, and plentiful extracurriculars tend to keep boys out of trouble. But I am not deluding myself (much). I know that there will be some cut-ups (think alumnus Bill O'Reilly), but real trouble-makers are made to leave the school.
Like Libby, he will be expected to maintain his very excellent relationship with his family. If his relationship with us were less that excellent, we would not allow him to go, but would keep him home to work on it. He has made it clear that he is not rejecting us or homeschooling, but moving forward with what we started, and building on it. Overall, I think his request shows the maturity that we hoped he would have by this time.
For me, I think that knowing I could homeschool him is key. If I felt that I had to send him to high school because I could not offer him a great education at home, I might feel differently about it. But I have the choice, and no one is forcing him to go or stay. We who homeschool are so blessed that we have more choices than other folks!
__________________ God Bless!
MacBeth in NY
Don's wife since '88; "Mom" to the Fab 4
Nature Study
MacBeth's Blog
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LisaR Forum All-Star
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Posted: Feb 16 2006 at 9:14am | IP Logged
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I have collected plenty of scary stories over the years of families gone "bad" because they sent an older child to high school. However, I realized that to be fair I needed to do the research both ways. I have spoken with many people that have said that High School was the best thing for their homeschooling family. It is also interesting to me, as a mom of mostly boys to find many more girls that homeschool through High School than boys. I think that we need to be careful not to base our decision on how we see other families turing out. It really is such an individual, personal dynamic that is unique to our own family. I am very late but I hope to check back in tonight and if you will bear with me, I would like to get in print some of the reasons why we may try high school for our oldest son. Maybe typing it out will be helpful to me!
__________________ Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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Leonie Forum All-Star
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Posted: Feb 16 2006 at 2:31pm | IP Logged
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LisR and MacBeth,
I had a bit of a sleepless night, worrying that my post might offend.
In reaity, I think we often know, deep down inside, what is best for our individual children.
MacBeth and Ttrip have talked about options and they have a sense of peace.
I would be happy to read your reasons for high school. LisaR - typing often helps me ( if I can get my foot out of my mouth! )
__________________ Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
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ALmom Forum All-Star
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Posted: Feb 16 2006 at 4:43pm | IP Logged
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We chose to keep our oldest home for high school even though she wanted to go to school - but we had no options as far as we were concerned - no theologically sound Catholic school, Protestant evangelical school covers with all the things she would possibly want in the way of activities and OK public schools but not where we felt our dd would bloom best. Part of our decision was based on her general complaints about homeschooling and being different and our sense of a vulnerability to peer pressure and need for more maturity or working through the issues before even considering it.
However, I really do love what Mary said about nothing being perfect. It has been hard to homeschool, there are some things we have missed out on and many ways to do things that we have learned by fire (and wish we had known the first time around). I think we do ourselves a disservice if we are not honest with ourselves on this. Our dd needed a wider social network and a bigger pool from which to make friends. She was lonely and rapidly losing her self-confidence because of it. It was frustrating expressing real needs when it isn't understood how real those needs are. Not every child experiences the same frustration with homeschooling that our oldest did - a lot simply depends on whether or not things click with some other homeschooling person or not so that they have a friend. It wasn't homeschooling per say - but some things are harder to do homeschooling and some things are easier to do. We have tried to compensate as best we can for this. We all know that it was the right decision for us - although there were years that neither of us thought we'd survive the strain and it was easy to second guess. At our lowest, we wondered if we should have just given in. Now we are almost finished with high school and can be more certain of our choice.
It was so refreshing to see your post Mary - as we agonized over the decision it was sometimes hard for people to see that we weren't just dealing with unimportant things - but very real needs of our dc. I have tried to remember that more as our group tries to expand activities - I really try to make some sacrifices to attend craft clubs or whatever that is geared to olders (even if it is not the dying interest or need of our dc at the moment) as I remember how many things we or dd tried to set up - and became so discouraged because no one showed up. Our younger older dc don't seem to have the same needs as our oldest did - but we still drive across town oncer per month to get together with others - our next dc may be the friend someone else needs just at a critical moment.
In the end it really does have to be the prayerful discernment of the family - but with eyes wide open to the realities of what you gain and lose both ways all colored by the individual circumstances of the area and family.
Janet
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Willa Forum All-Star
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Posted: Feb 16 2006 at 7:53pm | IP Logged
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Leonie, I don't think you need to be worried about having expressed strong feelings on this subject. You didn't imply that you were making rules that applied across the board to everyone.
Plus, because we are all influenced by our culture which simply assumes that it's best for kids to go to school especially in high school -- it's nice, for me at least, to have that counter-pull from people who have homeschooled high school and made it work. I would appreciate that viewpoint even if my kids were going to school. I don't want to make any decisions reflexively.
In our area most Catholic homeschoolers go to the public high school, which is fine and I do not question their choices for their own particular kids; however, it's very valuable for me to hear from people who have chosen to keep their kids (or allowed them to stay) home for high school.
Personally, I have strong feelings against sending the kids to public high school, which is the only option here in our area. It does not seem "right" for our family, and we'd lose a lot through it, logistically, and otherwise, as MacBeth mentioned, without her compensations of solid Catholicism and rigorous academics. Whenever I pray, I get the answer that school is NOT the answer. Still, there was a time when if my oldest had expressed any interest, I would have signed him up in within the week; I felt so inadequate about what we were doing at home. That was when Aidan was just home from the hospital and practically all my time was devoted to his therapy and medical intervention. However, he wasn't in the least interested; none of my kids are at all interested in going to school out of home.
Yet I still feel uncomfortable because I don't feel we're completely giving the kids the upbringing I'd like to. I know school is not the answer (for us personally); however, home isn't perfect either. Or maybe I don't really know what "perfect" is, but I know I'm not it : ). And there is a lot of counter-pressure, and I am not really the pioneer type. We're just toughing it out day by day, not flying or anything. But maybe that's the cross God's giving me right now.
Basically, I want to do what's best for the kids for eternity; I know that's what we all have in common on this board, but the details are sometimes a bit muddling. I think God gives us the graces to do our best for our kids and He blesses our efforts; still He did not say it would be easy or automatic
__________________ AMDG
Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
Take Up and Read
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LisaR Forum All-Star
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Posted: March 30 2006 at 10:53pm | IP Logged
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ok, I have thought looonnnggg and hard about my concerns about High School for oldest ds.
1. Socialization: a. if ds remains homeschooled- he will have one other Catholic Homeschool boy to socialize with in a 30 mi radius. (while many girls are homeschooled HS, the boys all seem to go to school)
His main social group would be a Co-Op Homeschool that meets all day Thurs. This is a WONDERFUL group of 30 families- mostly Protestant-amazingly the Nicean Creed is our faith statement. They run a super HS program- BUT his peers would be Protestant.
b. if ds goes to Catholic HS, he will be able to participate in daily Mass, weekly confession, (yes, we can't all make it to daily Mass yet- we go twice a week besides Sun) and a super "dead Theologians Club" run by 3 amazing young vibrant and orthodox Priest/Teachers.
Right now ds is a part of a "Basketball Theology" group that of preparing 7th and 8th grade boys for this group at the High School- and he has made a dozen new friends because of this.
2. Opportunity to get traditional school experience.
dh just brought home recent statistics that women are "marrying down" in staggering numbers. They are marrying younger and less educated men. Women are now more likely to be college educated than men. Men are backing down and reigning in their natural competitive side. Now, some could say this is a direct result of our school system. I might agree. But ds staying at home learning from me vs a chance to compete with peers and learn from Priests and Male teachers might not be a bad thing.
Hope I'm not beating a dead horse! thanks for reading!
__________________ Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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lapazfarm Forum All-Star
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Posted: March 31 2006 at 8:48am | IP Logged
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Wow! That sounds like a wonderful school! I would have a hard time justifying NOT sending my son to a school like that! Really, though, it sounds like you are choosing between 2 very good options: homeschooling or an excellent Catholic school. I know it is a tough choice, but think how blessed you are to have 2 good choices I advise praying, making your decision, and trusting in the Lord that it is the right one, knowing all along that either choice will be fine. Remember, you could always try it for a year and if it doesn't work, then back home he goes.
__________________ Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
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Leonie Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 28 2005
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Posted: March 31 2006 at 5:04pm | IP Logged
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Lisa, thanks for posting your thoughts.
I was wondering if it would help if you and dh were to prayerfully discern why it was that you began homeshooling in the first place.
Do those goals and vision still hold true now? Or will school be the better option.
Sometimes, looking at the bigger picture helps, rather than listing the nuts and bolts of the practical situsation.
I will say a prayer - I HATE making decisions so I feel for you!
__________________ Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
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LisaR Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005 Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline Posts: 2226
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Posted: March 31 2006 at 10:11pm | IP Logged
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the interesting thing is that the main reason that we homeschooled were the social issues-(but I was passionatate and still am about all the great things we could learn!) sadly we have had numerous not-so great- social issues with Catholic homeschooled kids. I do not want to go into detail but lets say whatever you think they are hearing at the public schools with regards to any topic my kids have heard from Catholic homeschooled kids. They have seen movies, played video games, heard music, and I could go on.... We have really had to screen friendships and say no to more than we thought we would have to. I suppose I thought we as Catholic homeschoolers would be more like minded.
Conversely- we have been pleasantly surprised to befriend many large, wonderfully Catholic families with dc in the schools. In fact, around here at least- more large (7,8,9 or more kids) families send to school than homeschool. These women are my role models in many ways.
Our Diocese is very homeschooling friendly, and fairly conservative, so you will find a scattering of homeschool families at practically every Parish. They are not all banded together at one Church. The downside to this is that our group, though large- is very loosely structured. And there are many great things going on at each of our parishes that families are involved there (as they should be!) I'd love to have more of a sense of purpose and organization that I admire in some of these large schooling families. My son finally feels like he "belongs" somewhere when he goes to these Theology nights in a way he never did before.
__________________ Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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teachingmyown Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 20 2005 Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline Posts: 5128
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Posted: April 03 2006 at 11:04am | IP Logged
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Lisa,
I think it is good to look at your reasons as Leonie mentioned. It seems like you have done this. For me, homeschooling is a mix of the social/ faith reasons and the academic. I really don't like institutional schooling. However, although I am still a CM-wannabe, I am more realistic about what I am going to do with my kids. I have tried to really accept my limitations and find a style of schooling that works for me and the kids.
That said, I know what you mean about the many good and holy families who do send their kids to school. Some of the holiest women I know, with great kids, send their kids to school. Most have chosen a very good, Catholic school. Others have had to put their kids in the school they had available and just support them with prayer.
There are only two schools that I would send my children to, one is K-12, the other is 7th-12th. I know that sounds ridiculous since I do in fact send my son to a school other than those. When I do consider those schools, which are actually too far away to really consider, one thing really keeps me set on homeschooling and that is the family bond that these kids have. I would hate to loose that.
My point, yes there is one, is that it looks like you have found a rare school, one that will support all you have done and all that you want for your son. The most important thing to pray about now is whether your son and your family will gain more from him being home with you or in this environment which may very well encourage him to be more loving and more involved when he is home.
__________________ In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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