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MarilynW
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| Posted: Jan 12 2010 at 6:11pm | IP Logged
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For me - this is probably one of the most important things to do in the "homeschooling high school" process.
My husband and I have goals for our family and each child (non academic) - that fit to our family mission statement/rule/guiding principles/faith. We use these goals to help us determine school, activities, friends etc. It helps us when life gets tough, when others criticize, when children question family decisions etc etc.
We are trying to apply this to the high school process too.
What are our major objectives for the high school years? What do we want our child to learn? How does this fit in with our child's overall life goals?
For us the journey is almost more important than the destination.It is not about getting high SAT scores, having a high GPA, getting a scholarship to a good college. We see the high school years as ones where our children will develop good moral character, make their faith their own, develop good work ethics, and learn to be organized, self-disciplined and hardworking. We do not want any shortcuts. No messing about for 3 years and cramming just to get a good SAT. By the same token we do not want them enrolled in a program and just doing the minimum in order to pass quarterly exams and get good grades.
We see the high school years as being the foundation for their adult lives - they need to learn to do things properly, to be deliberate and focused and aim for excellence.
We see that all of our children will probably aim for college - and so they need to set academic goals to achieve this. But again - learning the correct skills to prepare for college is as important as just getting the grades and acing the SAT.
One of my keywords for my high schooler this year is ORDER - we are encouraging her to become deliberate and ordered - in her time and her environment and her work. I do not buy into the "untidy genius" theory!!! We expect her to become tidy and organized and self-disciplined.
We have more goals...but I think I have written enough for now.
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Marilyn
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guitarnan
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| Posted: Jan 12 2010 at 6:20pm | IP Logged
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My son is nearing the end of his high school journey (next year we start to plan for dd), and I think our goals for him were similar to yours.
We wanted him to complete a college prep program so he could attend college if he wished. (He does want to.)
We wanted him to do four years of religion studies. We chose the Didache program because of its solid theology and dedication to Church teachings. (We have not been disappointed.)
We wanted him to stay involved in meaningful outside activities - we were hoping these would include Boy Scouts, physical activity of some kind, parish activities and, hopefully, work experience. (This has mostly worked, although not always as I envisioned it. He's still a Boy Scout at 17 - very nice.)
We hoped for ways to open up for him to meet other Catholic high schoolers - this took a while, but our co-op is now offering high school classes and he's really enjoyed meeting true peers - Catholic, faithful, homeschooled teens.
I already know that I want my daughter to pursue all of these goals and to learn to integrate the activities she loves - dance, helping stray animals, etc. - into her everyday life in ways that bring her joy.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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MarilynW
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| Posted: Jan 13 2010 at 7:31am | IP Logged
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I love your goals Nancy. I will post my more specific ones soon - house fully of coughing and wheezing children so will be signing off for the day I think.
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Marilyn
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ALmom
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| Posted: Jan 14 2010 at 12:03am | IP Logged
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Firm in faith and willing to live it at all costs. (We get lots of practice being homeschoolers - all of us). Homeschooling high school can be a lonely, difficult climb for some. The high school years are the last years when the children are under our direct supervision so we want plenty of time to grapple with the apologetics, establishing a really, rock solid prayer life (obviously we have been doing this all along - but more and more the burden falls on them to carve out the time, find the best means for them to meditate. We have to preserve time for them to be fully immersed in the sacramental life, taking time to visit the Blessed Sacrament, spiritual reading and equip them for the transition into a secular world where they will be called on to defend their faith.
Well rounded, exposure to areas - even those that are not favorites - but at the same time beginning to sort out where God might be calling them. We spend a lot of time talking to them about what they see as their gifts, strengths, weaknesses (academically, and also in terms of temperment, interests, etc.) We begin to try and taylor what we do towards their goals - while still trying to keep doors open (ie we would make sure we met the admission requirements somewhere the child is likely to go or the local state school if they don't say they want college).
We try to focus in and bone up on any glaring academic weaknesses.
We look at social and friendship needs and ways to let them test their wings from home in a safe way.
In academics - we try to be honest, fair, reasonable, but also no one can cover everything. We do try to make sure we at least cover those areas that the world seems to do a poor job with and know our children, by this point, have learned to think and question and research.
We make sure they can write a decent paper (academic content area, personal essay and research), document a research paper, Algebra and Geometry skills, and have a foundational knowledge of science (don't care if they are able to clep out of any science courses or not - just that they are reasonably well educated - and for our area what I consider reasonably well educated in this area may be weak - but it is OK. The child builds from here based on their own talents and interests. They fill in gaps all through life. It is OK. We also like to see that they can meet a deadline, orally defend or debate points in a charitable and coherent manner. (Some of this is just observation and informal).
These may be the last years for us to live under the same roof - so we want to really deepen our bond through time together, becoming our childrens main support network.
We also want all of our children to have basic practical skills - sewing, cooking, cleaning and a sensitivity to the needs of those around them. We don't have to run out and volunteer everywhere - it is more important to us that our children form the habit of seeing a need and filling it; whether it is the baby that is crying, the new homeschooler in the group that is lost and alone, the elderly neighbor who needs yard work, the CCD teacher who needs help carrying stuff or cleaning the room after a function - or simply mom stressing out and needing them to take on more of the responsibility for finding stuff.
Honestly - we spent maybe one week doing a few practice tests in the SAT booklet, we gave some test taking strategies, realized we hadn't a clue what a graphing calculator was and finally decided it wasn't that important. We did look at the questions missed and why (request your booklet back) before taking the next version.
None of ours so far have come close to being Merit scholars. Our oldest still does have full tuition. They had good, solid scores, but nothing in the stratosphere. They work hard. There are lots of ways to make things work when you are an average, intelligent, hardworking child..
One of the things we encouraged our oldest to do (and we also did) as she began the discernment process, is to ask God to open and close doors. He did. Yes, there are struggles because we are at a state school. Yes, our dd will continue to have to work hard to achieve her dreams and the road won't be strewn with rose petals for her to gingerly coast over - and there were temptations to look at others who had advantages she never had - but at the end of the day, she knows that she has done the best in her power with the talents God gave her - and she is open to where He leads. She is not a superstar. She has impressed some folks with how quickly she picks up anything they show her - she just never had access to those kinds of teachers (money and location were both factors in this). She paid her own way through undergraduate - and saved up for a very expensive music camp (it may be the only one she gets to do because of money - but she has made the best with what God has given her in terms of talent and opportunities). If she is meant to follow a certain path, she does her part in terms of working hard, etc. then somehow God will open the door. We have learned to trust this. If He doesn't then she finds peace in discovering what He had in mind for her instead. In the process she has made the places she has walked a better place for being there. We try to be always there for her to hash out these sometimes painful transitions - and she is looking to push to the next step - the next level with her talent.
I will say that in each child's (so far 3 are in high school or have been) high school, I do hit my own temptation moments. For the first it was at 9th. For others it comes at differing times. I panic and worry. I try to mimic the schools briefly and then realize that we homeschooled because we were the ones entrusted by God to discern the proper formation for our children (under the guidance of the church, of course) and what the world says is important, isn't always the same as what we believe. I cannot fall for the temptation to jump into the bandwagon of my child has to do the equivalent of 5 AP courses, at least Calculus and all advanced sciences and 4 years of foreign language and ..... OH and let me sign up for the SAT prep classes to see if we can get a perfect score. (We personally know at least 5 people in one year that got perfect scores on one or the other of the tests). If our children are inclined in that direction and want to do this kind of thing - well, they can get the books, practice, even take some classes if they want - they may have to pay for it. We are not pushing for ivy league scholarships - just hasn't been children's inclination so far. If it was, they would have dug some of it out themselves! Oh, and we do look at things and drop hints if we see something . Ie our pilot wannabee. He may not know how expensive flying lessons are yet - oughta at least look at the AF academy and see what the requirements are. It led us into some beautiful opportunities locally with the civil air patrol. Whether he decides to shoot for academy or not - there is something in this group for all of ours and it has become so bonding for the family - clear indication that this is a good thing for all of us - and may be part of what may help homeschooler make it 3 years from now. Or he may change his mind (doubt it). Academically, we also looked at the back door route of military pilot training - not sure where we will fall in the SAT and other such scores. We read a biography on Scott O'Grady who didn't make it to the AF academy (not high enough SAT score) but he did get a coveted AF flying scholarship and became an AF pilot through perseverence, sheer hard work (doing 50 times what everyone else did 5) and taking every chance to do survival training, air time .....
Each child leads us into a whole new adventure - and I'm finally beginning to look at it as an unfolding mystery in terms of where God will take each of these children of ours.
I just am coming out of panic mode for our maybe senior (she may graduate in 4 years, maybe in 5 - depends on what coursework she actually finishes this year). The closer she gets to knowing her goals - the more able we are to know what is critical and what is nice to have and what is - not worth the stress. We have to prayerfully and honestly discern this each step. I went through a couple of months of panic trying to figure out what this child HAD to have on her transcript based on her latest goal -and we kept talking and discerning. She told us - keep all my options open and we tried. We realized the JR college option was just too ridiculous - I just cannot convince myself that it is essential for this child to have sociology on her transcript - and wouldn't know what to use anyways. She will have a full and varied transcript - it impresses me. She writes very well .... She could go to college in history or ... She considered military options - and right now is into firefighting and I have to admit, she comes home from the fire station happier and happier. I have no idea where God will lead her in a few years - but we are supporting her in her latest goals - trying to make sure she has the time for physical training, fire station, EMT type courses - and we're doing are darndest to set her up to graduate on time (her goal) - but we also know that sticking to our guns about a minimum amount of work to get credit for those things that she absolutely must have is essential not just for honesty on our part - but for character growth and non-academic learning on her part. It is all a great balancing act - and we relearn it with every one of our unique children. I keep thinking, I'd have learned by now - but I keep having to re-learn.
We are not living according to the world's standards but God's - and discerning his will in all of this is critical. A lot depends on the individual child and where they are being led just what your transcript looks like.
My experience, albeit limited, is that we do our best, trust God and He is always faithful. I am truly in awe of where he is leading some of ours - not down paths we would have thought of or even planned for. I have not seen unmovable roadblocks in our children's paths - and we are not outstanding examples or magazine cover homeschoolers - just a large, by this world's standards, family trying to live out our vocation and be in the world but not of it. Sometimes the road is hard - sometimes sweet beyond imagining. We often didn't see fruits until our oldest was actually in college - and then we increasingly see those fruits of homeschooling. Was it perfect - certainly not, we weren't, but God is good. Don't be afraid.
Janet
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MarilynW
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| Posted: Jan 14 2010 at 6:04am | IP Logged
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Janet - what you wrote is just lovely and very encouraging. Thank you for taking the time to share.
Question - is your dd a music major?
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Marilyn
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Martha in VA
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| Posted: Jan 14 2010 at 2:15pm | IP Logged
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guitarnan wrote:
We wanted him to do four years of religion studies. We chose the Didache program because of its solid theology and dedication to Church teachings. (We have not been disappointed.)
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I don't want to hijack this thread so pardon me, please.......how did you use this series? Is there a syllabus leading the student through all the books or did you make your own schedule?
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guitarnan
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| Posted: Jan 14 2010 at 2:38pm | IP Logged
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They do sell a teacher's guide and student workbook, but we didn't use them. We just went through the books, lesson by lesson, studying vocab, answering questions, etc. I made up my own tests.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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4Real Forums : High School Years and Beyond
Topic: Goals for High School
