Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



Active Topics || Favorites || Member List || Search || About Us || Help || Register || Login
High School Years and Beyond
 4Real Forums : High School Years and Beyond
Subject Topic: Serving Teens Post ReplyPost New Topic
Author
Message << Prev Topic | Next Topic >>
Angie Mc
Board Moderator
Board Moderator
Avatar

Joined: Jan 31 2005
Location: Arizona
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 11400
Posted: Dec 09 2008 at 3:55pm | IP Logged Quote Angie Mc
How do you serve your teen in a way the benefits both of you?

For the last month I've been straightening my one teen's room to include making their bed, putting their clothes away, and tidying their paperwork. Up until this time, I have leaned heavily in the direction of having children clean up after themselves and live with natural consequences that comes from either doing so or not. I also come from a long tradition of taking pride in being independent and taking on the role of adult asap which translates into taking on more and more responsibility as you grow older.

I'm not quite sure how I came to consider "back peddling" and doing for my teen what "the teen should do for his or herself." Nothing dramatic happened. I just remember seeing a kid struggling with doing it all. It also dawned on me that this kid was doing important work that I didn't do at that age. So I asked the teen, "Would it help if I picked up your room for awhile?" Much to my surprise, the response was "Yes!"

Now I'm going to get mushy on you...I love taking care of this child's room. I love making the bed...putting the clothes away...watering the plant...finding a lost item. I love the hug, the happy look, or the sigh of relief I receive from the child - my child who will be independent before the blink of an eye.

Since this has worked out so well, I'm wondering about other ways to serve teens. Any suggestions?

Love,



__________________
Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
About Me
Back to Top View Angie Mc's Profile Search for other posts by Angie Mc Visit Angie Mc's Homepage
 
Bookswithtea
Forum All-Star
Forum All-Star
Avatar

Joined: July 07 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2621
Posted: Dec 09 2008 at 4:57pm | IP Logged Quote Bookswithtea
Both dh and I have taken on ds's chores here and there when he had more to accomplish than hours in his day. We've never done it like you are doing it, consistently. Its more the noticing and just doing things to help him as long as he's being diligent to do what needs to be done. I also try to make sure that favorite jeans and t shirts are clean before social events, but that is hit or miss...a laundry queen I am not!

__________________
Blessings,

~Books

mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and due 9/10
Back to Top View Bookswithtea's Profile Search for other posts by Bookswithtea
 
guitarnan
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator
Avatar

Joined: Feb 07 2005
Location: Maryland
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 10883
Posted: Dec 09 2008 at 5:54pm | IP Logged Quote guitarnan
Scout uniforms - I make sure they are clean and ready to go. Likewise with backpacking clothing - I wash all gross, muddy items right away so that ds can "be prepared" as his schedule permits.

One thing we're experiencing right now - as my junior-year ds tours colleges - is that he needs time to just say how he feels without being criticized. I listen and add mom-ly commentary without telling him he's off track or not thinking clearly. My ds is nervous about college and unhappy that we are starting this process in junior year (Mom wishes we had started LAST year!). He needs time and space to process information and to express ideas without feeling like we will tell him he's heading in a wrong direction.


__________________
Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
Back to Top View guitarnan's Profile Search for other posts by guitarnan Visit guitarnan's Homepage
 
nissag
Forum All-Star
Forum All-Star
Avatar

Joined: Nov 23 2006
Location: Massachusetts
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1511
Posted: Dec 09 2008 at 7:37pm | IP Logged Quote nissag
I haven't any input, but this has given me some food for thought. My teens are awesome - so responsible.

Blessings,

__________________
Nissa
Deacon's wife, mother of eleven, farmer, teacher, creator, cook.

At Home With the Gadbois Family

Back to Top View nissag's Profile Search for other posts by nissag Visit nissag's Homepage
 

If you wish to post a reply to this topic you must first login
If you are not already registered you must first register

  [Add this topic to My Favorites] Post ReplyPost New Topic
Printable version Printable version

Forum Jump
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot create polls in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum

Hosting and Support provided by theNetSmith.com