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folklaur Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 07 2005 Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline Posts: 2816
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Posted: Aug 07 2007 at 12:56pm | IP Logged
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Hi,
My dd is 17. She is planning/was planning to go to Benedictine after she graduates in May.
However, I am really concerned. Last week, she had "away band camp" about 2 hours north of Phoenix. So not too far, and she was working pretty hard. On Thursday, she called and needed us to get her, she wasn't feeling well. She has had kidney problems since she was born, and the past few years they have really flared up again. She also contracted the eipstein barr virus at some point, and will have flare ups of that from time to time - where she is just downright exhausted. She came home from camp with swollen lymph nodes and really tired.
Honestly, I have no idea how she is going to go to college that far from home. I haven't said this to her yet. It took a long time for her to get up the courage to want to even go to a college away from her family. She was very afraid to leave the doctors that know her, etc.
But - I am really starting to think she should look around closer to home too. Not as a definate decision - but as an option. I don't want her to have every ounce of her being set on Benedictine, and then if she can't go, feeling like she has no other choices.
What do you think? How should I handle this? I would love some opinions, as I am so close to the situation, I don't know if I am thinking clearly.
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Leonie Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 28 2005
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Posted: Aug 07 2007 at 4:19pm | IP Logged
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I'd schedule a date time with your dd and really discuss this whole issue. I find that kids pick up on doubts and uncetanities anyway so I am better off having an open discussion first.
Then maybe you, dh and your dd can say a novena for this issue and for discernment.
__________________ Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
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Angie Mc Board Moderator
Joined: Jan 31 2005 Location: Arizona
Online Status: Offline Posts: 11400
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Posted: Aug 25 2007 at 12:22am | IP Logged
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On a practical note...you can share with her that it is common advice for a teen to apply to 3 college levels - the teen's dream college(s), the "most likely will get in" college(s), and the "sure to get in" college(s). Perhaps the local colleges can fit into that plan.
Love,
__________________ Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
About Me
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Bookswithtea Forum All-Star
Joined: July 07 2005
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Posted: Aug 25 2007 at 7:35am | IP Logged
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I did what Angie is suggesting. Sometimes it feels good to at least be accepted to the dream school, even if practically its not the right decision.
I ended up choosing the hometown college because of a high school sweetheart. I guess it was the right decision since we are married and have a 6th child on the way now.
I think there are lots of reasons people end up choosing the local college, so its not as unusual as it sounds.
Do you have any family out of state near colleges she is interested in? If you and she trust the family member, it might also be a good option to have her close to an aunt who could help her find new doctors and pick her up off campus if she needed help?
Are there any colleges locally that are Catholic (I'm guessing that's why she picked Benedictine)?
The other thing I'd say, just so you know my very strong bias , is that local is a great option in the longrun. Families are spread so far apart these days (long distance college can make this worse), and its not always a good thing. Friends come and go, and "friends like family" come and go, too. Family is forever. You can be there for her, and she will be there for you and her brother. The more you can increase the odds of finding a career and spouse in the hometown, the better it is for extended family relationships, including your dd.
Babies need their grandma's as much as new moms need their mom. Of course, this is waaaaaaaaaaay into the future, but I'm a sucker for longrange planning. We tell our kids (whenever we get the opportunity) that life will be better for *all* of them if they are within a couple of hours of each other. Who knows whose baby is going to be sick, who will get cancer, who will have twins and desperately need meals and extra hands from a trusted sister for a few months??? Do I sound morbid? I don't mean to...but these are the reasons we encouraging our kids to stay local. Its the ancient way, imho.
__________________ Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and due 9/10
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