4Real Forums: First Funeral

Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.

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Domestic Church
4Real Forums : Domestic Church

Topic: First Funeral

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glinNC
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Joined: May 09 2007
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Posted: Oct 06 2008 at 5:20am \| IP Logged

My elderly Baptist neighbor lady passed away last night. May she rest in peace.

I have never been to a wake or funeral in my life, and I need some guidance. Is wearing black still the etiquette for the funeral? What do you wear to a wake? How about bringing young children (ages 8 and 6)to both?

What would you tell your young children, particularly due to the fact that she's not Catholic?

Any comments you can share will be GREATLY appreciated!
glinNC

mom2mpr
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Joined: May 16 2006
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Posted: Oct 06 2008 at 8:05am \| IP Logged

I went to 4 last year and found most people wear dark colors. The dress code seems to have relaxed through the years though I still require my family to dress up. Suits, at least shirt and tie, for the guys, and us girls wore dresses. The funeral in MI in January I did wear black slacks.
I have always brought my children to wakes and funerals as a teaching experience. Death is part of life. Ds has been to many in his 10 years. I think it is good as we are now getting to the times our close family will start losing loved ones and it won't be so overwhelming and scary.
Now, the Baptist ceremony was different. At the end of the service, we were asked to give our hearts to Jesus and close our eyes and raise our hands if we did. There was some uncomfortable stuff for me. My kids did not attend this funeral due to travel issues. Some hand waving and "amens" during songs or talks. My father in law was nice enough to explain some of the things that were to occur and that made me feel welcome.
I hope that helps. I am sure your neighbors family would be comforted to have you there.
Anne

LucyP
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Posted: Oct 06 2008 at 11:39am \| IP Logged

Depending on how well you know the family - ask! My best friend had a funeral for her son who was still-born, and I went "dressed for a funeral" only to find everyone in casual wear, ie jeans and trainers etc. I felt awkward but also I felt that unless told not to wear black etc, to wear very plain, dark or black formal clothes is the most honouring choice.

We tell our son that everyone who dies goes to Jesus, and that we trust to His mercy and that if we love Him He will welcome us. I think everyone does go to Jesus, and then some of those people will be "asked to leave" as it were either temporarily to purgatory or permanently.

We took our son to hs first funeral at just four years old. It was an elderly friend's funeral, and we felt it was good "practise" - we talked about what he would see, how others might be feeling, how he might feel - and decided notto go to the graveside. The one bit we forgot was flowers on the casket - so when the bearers carried in "Aunty H's special box", he shouted out "Oh look, they gave AUnty H pretty flowers!"

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