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tracym
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| Posted: April 21 2008 at 11:46am | IP Logged
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Hi. I was just wondering what is the proper thing to do if your children are not old enough to receive communion and walk down with you. I thought I was told to have my kids cross their arms in front of their chests to show they weren't receiving. However after church yesterday I was approached by someone and asked about when I joined the Eastern Rite. To be honest, I had no idea what he was talking about and am a little embarrassed now. So I was wondering if anyone here knew if this was ok or not. Thanks!
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PDyer
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I've not heard that the position you describe is limited to the Eastern Rite.
In our parish children who have not yet received their First Communion (and others with reasons of their own for not receiving) are welcome to come forward to receive a blessing as part of the communion procession. Not all parishes do this, I gather from our travels.
We taught our daughter to cross her arms over her chest to make it clear to the priest or extraordinary minister that she is not to receive, esp. when we are visiting a new parish.
I'm not sure this is precisely liturgically correct, but I do love to hear our parish pastor bless her with the words, "we look forward to the time when you will join us at this table." 
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CrunchyMom
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I know that some people prefer not to have their children blessed at that time. I think it is a pretty new practice, and the priest can bless the child at anytime before or after mass. Our 3 year old stays in the pew (we always sit near the front), and we carry the baby, but I know some families whose young ones go forward with their hands folded prayerfully, and it is apparent from their posture and their parents direction whether they should receive or not.
I know nothing about the arm crossing thing be Eastern Orthodox. I have also heard some that don't like that posture for approaching the Eucharist for what it seems to convey (in our culture, crossing one's arms is rather stand-offish).
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LucyP
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Hmmm, I don't know. We were told to approach the altar with folded arms before we were able to recieve communion, and so we are "kind of" training our son to do the same. I guess right now he is so little he is obviously not going to be receiving the Lord, but as he gets older I would have thought it was a good habit. We personally love for our children to get a blessing at the altar - it seems to be appropriate.
But I am a very new Catholic and don't really know myself, so this is just what we think/do!
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LLMom
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We have our dc cross their arms and put their head down OR put their hand over their mouth.
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| Posted: April 21 2008 at 2:47pm | IP Logged
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We have our children wait in the pew. However, most people in our (very large) parish do the arms folded/blessing thing.
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Barbara C.
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| Posted: April 21 2008 at 3:46pm | IP Logged
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I remember when I was a little girl, my father would have me stand to the side (towards the exit back to the pew) and wait for him quietly.
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isjalu0826
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Our parish does this. I kind of like it. And I think it helps the children hopefully mature with an idea of prayerfully walking forward, reverence, etc...and anticipation..!
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Not to mention it helps the wiggles to have a time when they're ALLOWED to get up and walk 
All the parishes we've been in have encouraged this.
And since I wasn't going to leave little ones alone in a pew, it works for me.
Also realize with the spacing of our kids that we'd have littles to small to be left alone needing to walk with us because arms were already full with the baby.
And the crossing of the arms isn't the standoffish arm crossing but rather making a cross over your chest with your arms (think hands to the opposite shoulders.. not tucked in)
But either dh or I brings up rear so that we can keep an eye on the kids.. especially if we're not in our home parish.. but that's more to be sure our small in stature children aren't refused communion when they are allowed to.
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MacBeth
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In the Eastern Rite, one folds one's arms when receiving. It is very uncommon around here to approach the Eucharist in this position for a blessing from the priest during Holy Communion--I imagine it would be too confusing, as Eastern and Orthodox are fairly common locally. And it is not in the GIRM, either, which makes me think it is just somebody's idea that caught on in certain regions. Also, with the proliferation of the Extraordinary Minister, there is not always a priest at the end of the line...who does the blessing then?
Back in the day (and at the TLM), the children who are not receiving knelt (kneel) at the altar rail with their parents and bowed (bow) their heads for a blessing. Simple. 
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JennGM
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There was a few more discussions on this subject, Tridentine Mass
Spiritual Communion for Children in which Angie shares an article with instruction from Archbishop Chaput on a solution.
This is also done for those that can't receive communion (not just children) in many parishes in our diocese. I think it does help with older people to not single them out for a reason not to be walking up to communion, but not being sacrilegious in receiving communion.
I just saw a mass on EWTN with some people doing the same arm crossing. Here it's a signal that they are prayfully approaching the altar, but not receiving communion.
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mama251ders
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My mother is a DRE (Director of Religious Education) at our parish and I watched her instruct my 3yo last week to fold her arms as we were getting ready to join the procession. She is pretty savvy on accepted church practices, so I tend to believe her! At our parish, all the children cross their arms when they are younger than First Eucharist age. When my boys were in Kindergarten, my oldest forgot to cross his arm and he ended up being given the host! Oy! My mother thought perhaps God thought he needed a little Jesus that day ! So, I always recommend the crossing of the arms. It helps lessen confusion.
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PDyer
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| Posted: April 21 2008 at 8:38pm | IP Logged
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MacBeth wrote:
| Also, with the proliferation of the Extraordinary Minister, there is not always a priest at the end of the line...who does the blessing then? |
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Our parish has quite a number of extraordinary ministers, and they bless the children not receiving, in my experience.
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lapazfarm
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We have always taught the children to cross arms over their chests until first communion. Everyone here does it and at every other church I've attended (and that's quite a few, seeing as we've move around quite a bit).
I think it is wonderful for them to be able to approach the altar this way, and anticipate the day when they can participate fully.
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MacBeth
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PDyer wrote:
MacBeth wrote:
| Also, with the proliferation of the Extraordinary Minister, there is not always a priest at the end of the line...who does the blessing then? |
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Our parish has quite a number of extraordinary ministers, and they bless the children not receiving, in my experience. |
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There's a problem right there...From Bishop Chaput's statement, linked by Jenn:
Quote:
| extraordinary ministers of holy Communion do not ordinarily have a commission to bless in the name of the Church, as priests and deacons do. |
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Makes me uncomfortable... 
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missionfamily
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In the parishes locally, most children come forward when parents receive communion. We have ours fold their arms across their chest to make it obvious that they are not receiving. Our extraordinary ministers of the Eucharist do not bless children, only the priests and deacons.
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PDyer
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| Posted: April 21 2008 at 10:03pm | IP Logged
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MacBeth wrote:
There's a problem right there...From Bishop Chaput's statement, linked by Jenn:
Quote:
| extraordinary ministers of holy Communion do not ordinarily have a commission to bless in the name of the Church, as priests and deacons do. |
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Makes me uncomfortable... |
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Yes, I saw that too. I would much prefer my child to be blessed by the priest, but I don't see anything terribly "wrong" (for lack of a better word, it's getting late here ) about the extraordinary minister making the sign of the cross on my child's forehead and saying, "May God bless you". Is that what Archbishop Chaput means by "blessing in the name of the Church"? Showing my ignorance here, I guess... 
I'm not comfortable leaving her in the pew, and neither is she comfortable being left in the pew, particularly in an unfamiliar church. Being passed over (in her eyes, I mean no disrespect) in the communion line has led to confusion for her, when we visit other churches. But kneeling after the Lamb of God confuses her too, because that's not the posture typically used in our diocese either...it's tough to explain to a child.
In any event. I do adore how our pastor handles the blessing, though; he definitely has an impact on my daughter with what he says, and how he says it.
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Patty
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folklaur
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PDyer wrote:
| I would much prefer my child to be blessed by the priest, but I don't see anything terribly "wrong" (for lack of a better word, it's getting late here ) about the extraordinary minister making the sign of the cross on my child's forehead and saying, "May God bless you". |
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I guess that is why it makes me uncomfortable. Well, like, for instance, have you ever had a saint medal, or rosary, or whatnot, blessed by a priest? By the above reasoning, shouldn't anybody just be able to bless it? Why have a priest bless it? Because it's different, ykwim?
In our church, we always sit upstairs, and there is no Deacon/Priest up there for Communion, so we would have to go to an EM. And I don't know, it just feels weird to me. But that is how it was for me growing up, so I know it is a personal thing for me, and I don't have a problem with other people doing it (unless of course the Church says something definitively...). We always sit in the back row so I am never more than a few feet from my kids anyway. If I had to leave them and go all the way down to the front or something, I would probably feel differently (or would sit in a different spot...)
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MaryM
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PDyer wrote:
| I would much prefer my child to be blessed by the priest, but I don't see anything terribly "wrong" (for lack of a better word, it's getting late here ) about the extraordinary minister making the sign of the cross on my child's forehead and saying, "May God bless you". Is that what Archbishop Chaput means by "blessing in the name of the Church"? |
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Yes, that is what Archbishop Chaput is referring to. I thought his letter was very pastoral - explaining why this act though good intentioned is not proper as a liturgical function of the laity. He provides a beautiful response for the Extraordinary Ministers which still allows for the faithful to come forward even if they are not receiving, but it would be an invitation to spiritual communion not a blessing they would receive from an EME. This topic is a sensitive one because it has become so common in some places.
EWTN explanation of who is to administer blessings with the authority of the Church and how it can blur the distinction between the role of the ordained and the laity.
Canon 1169
1. Persons who possess the episcopal character as well as presbyters to whom it is permitted by law or by legitimate concession can validly perform consecrations and dedications.
2. Any presbyter can impart blessings, except those which are reserved to the Roman Pontiff or to bishops.
3. A deacon can impart only those blessings which are expressly permitted to him by law.
A blessing is a good conferred by a higher personage on a lower personage. All true blessings ultimately come from God, though they come through those whom He has placed over others. In the family parents bless their children, as God has given them natural authority over their children. In the Church spiritual blessings are conferred in God's Name by those to whom He has given spiritual authority over His People. As is evident by the above, blessings are given by priests (who have the power of the keys), though some are reserved to bishops (high priests). Deacons may also bless, but only where the ritual books, and thus the Church, provide the authority by law. Since the laity do not possess spiritual authority in the Church they cannot confer blessings. The laity can impose some sacramentals (ashes, St. Blaise blessing), but using objects previously blessed by the ordained.
So, the blessing of anyone by an EME at Communion time is a vain gesture, which does nothing for the recipient. Furthermore, by a gesture which suggests priestly authority in a sacramental setting, it confuses the role of the laity and the ordained minister, something prohibited by the Instruction on Certain Questions Regarding the Collaboration of the Non-Ordained Faithful in the Sacred Ministry of Priests.
Answered by Colin B. Donovan, STL
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tracym
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Thank you for all the responses and links. My children who do this do not receive a blessing. Our deacon used to do this during communion but now he just does it after mass. It is done so my child can walk up with us and to show the EM or priest that he is not receiving at this time. Thanks again I feel much better about this now.
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4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: kids not yet old enough for communion
