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monica
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| Posted: Feb 19 2007 at 11:38am | IP Logged
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i am not quite sure how to phrase this, but i need an experienced mom's opinion. When you have a child that is very advanced in one area, do you go with their strengths, or spend time on the areas that are weaker? My situation is that i have a VERY verbal 4yo boy. It is everything i can do to not let him read yet. He is sounding out words on his own. He loves stories, books and acting out things with his animals, or sticks, or forks or food. I am sure this is partly due to his parents being talkers. 
He is doing fine in math (counting, starting to add) but his fine motor and gross motor skills seem to need work to me. I mean, he is totally uninterested in drawing or writing, though every once in a while he will suprise us and write a "list" or a "letter". and sports hold little interest in him, though he will play on the playground.
anyway, i am wondering what i should be spending my time on with him. going forward with his strengths(which are the things he is more interested in) or working on the parts he is not so interested in (writing/drawing and sports).
thanks for sharing your wisdom
monica
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guitarnan
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| Posted: Feb 19 2007 at 1:22pm | IP Logged
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I'd go ahead and let him read. He's ready. (My dd was like this...that's partially how we fell into homeschooling.)
The things he doesn't like to do, he'll certainly grow into. There's plenty of time, and I don't think you need to worry about his motor skills too much now. Give him "play" things to do to work on them (like using an eyedropper to move water from one container to another, which is even more fun when the water is colored!) instead. (Paper tearing, cutting with scissors...the list is endless.)
Holding him back now that he's sounding out words will just be frustrating for both of you. I'd let him set the pace and see what happens!
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Angel
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| Posted: Feb 19 2007 at 5:29pm | IP Logged
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I'd have to second Nancy's advice about letting him read. At our house, my kids have a BROAD mix of abilities (my oldest has tested intellectually gifted with learning disabilities). Holding them back from their strengths and interests to focus on their weaknesses would be very frustrating, so we do our best to find some balance.
As Nancy said, 4 is pretty young. I wouldn't worry about the motor skills. You might give Montessori some thought.
--Angela
Three Plus Two
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Becky Parker
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| Posted: Feb 20 2007 at 2:12pm | IP Logged
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I went to a Charlotte Mason tea once and I'll never forget what one mom said. She was talking about how she ended up putting her kids into school because things just "weren't working out". She said she just wished she had spent more time "teaching to her kid's strengths". I'll always remember that. I think it encourages a love for learning. REading is primary. If this is what your child wants to do, go for it. Once they can read, they can learn about anything that interests them, without someone having to teach them. In short, I agree with Nancy and Angie above!
Editing to add, my ds was an avid reader, but his handwriting was terrible (it's still not very good). I think if I had said "no more reading until your handwriting improves", he would have missed out on tons of great literature!
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Elizabeth
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| Posted: Feb 20 2007 at 2:38pm | IP Logged
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I definitely think you teach to their strengths and reading is such a great strength. He's so young; enjoy it! The foundation you lay down now in reading will be so beneficial later. Read, read, read!Expose him to the other things but don't push them--sometimes it's developmental. And I have another thought, too, but I know I owe you a PM and I'll include it there.
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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ALmom
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| Posted: Feb 20 2007 at 7:01pm | IP Logged
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I agree about teaching to their strengths - but this is one thing I have learned to do when faced with things like this. While I do teach to their strengths and do not hold them back from running forward, I do make sure that I do some thoughtful planning to build up in areas of weakness. In an area of strength, I can be more on the sidelines (wow, what a great job, listening to them retell a great story, etc.) and a lot more relaxed about letting them lead, whereas I do have to think and plan more creatively so that weaknesses are not just left to create huge divides. Many of my dc have very poor fine motor - and while it is no handicap in younger years, it is a huge frustration in later life.
Now that doesn't mean that I force sit them at a desk with pencil and paper and -- but I look at some of the things that they might like or try to find ways to entice them to something. We may try to entice a game of walking on the curb or make up a project to go with something they have gone crazy reading about. Stringing beads, cut and create animals, etc. Getting them to help measure and pour for a cookie recipe, etc.
I generally have to work a little harder to entice and interest or come up with things to help in areas of weakness - and this is where choices are more critical as the child is less likely to be self-directed. Now sometimes it can be a matter of having time to develop and everyone is different. I just added this in because we had the fine motor delays for a reason and did have to work on developing them.
Janet
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Lorri
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| Posted: Feb 20 2007 at 9:39pm | IP Logged
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Your son is little yet. Those fine motor skills will catch up eventually. It could be years, though. I think I read somewhere that by the time boys are typically ready to learn to print - at 9 years old!!- we are pushing them to learn cursive. Which may explain why boys often don't write as neatly as girls.
At 4 yo I wouldn't be doing much school stuff anyway. Just read to him and let him play. And let him learn to read. I have a gifted reader, too. My 6 yo K'gartner has a recreational reading level of 3 grade and an instructional reading level of 4th grade. I just let her read. No point in holding her back. The only problem I have encountered is finding her readers that are not above her maturity level. I found some Amish and Mennonite books that are perfect. They move her reading skills along but are wonderful, Christ-centered stories. but that's down the road a bit for you.
I really would not focus on any academics right now. If you can't help but worry about his fine motor skills, there are many things you can offer to him. Legos, cutting and pasting (make cards for a grandparent?), stringing beads or even playing games like Hi Hi Cheerio will help.
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monica
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| Posted: March 05 2007 at 1:27am | IP Logged
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thank you ladies,
i really appreciate all your help. I am going to let my guy go ahead and read. i dont think i could stop him if i wanted to. we have been having a real hard time with him lately in the area of being a good "listener" (aka obeying) he isnt a defiant child at all. he hardly had a terrible twos phase, and usually time outs have been a strong enough consequence for him. but lately he has been just not doing what we ask or doing what we ask reeeeally slowly. it is like he knows he can do so much on his own now (get dressed, pick up toys, beginning reading) and he just wants to show us that he is in charge of when and how he does things. most of the time he is sweet, agreeable and very obedient. but at times he just doesnt do what we ask, or on rare occasions, does the exact opposite. never in a fit or a tantrum, just calm, cool refusal to comply. really the definition of passive aggressive. time outs seem to be losing their effectiveness and any kind of rewards system (stickers, beans in a jar, etc) are not getting a response. is he just hitting the twos a couple years late? is this normal for 4 yo boys? HELP!! Any discipline ideas for this age??
thanks for all your help
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Paula in MN
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He sounds like my son. He just turned 5 a few weeks ago, and he has always been good. Lately it seems as he is just "testing" the limits in place for him. He also never really went through any "terrible two's" stages. He's my only boy, but I'd say it is pretty normal.
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 Paula
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: advice from wise women needed. . .
