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Joelle
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| Posted: Oct 27 2006 at 4:19pm | IP Logged
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Hello ladies,
I am wondering if it is just me (like I have way too much going on) or does everyone who homeschools feel this way--it's one of those days (weeks/months...)! First of all, we have our "Lesson Plans," eclectic, but I do a syllabus and have the kids (try to) follow it. Math, Reading, Religion, Penmanship, Geopgrapy (1X week), History (not every day and last year not at all), Latin, Writing (Institute for Excellence-2X week), Spelling, Grammar. Science is 2 Mondays a month through a co-op, so not bad there. This is all for my 5th grade boy (oldest). Then the 1st grader basically does reading, Math, & religion.
Issue #1-I would love to do more read alouds & lapbooks/notebooks for history/religion,etc. (try but always start and never have time to finish) but we cannot even finish our "List" School, let alone do ANY fun stuff...not what I evisioned 6 years ago when we started!
Issue #2-I know my house cannot look like a Better Homes & Gardens cover; however, I am struggling just to keep up with laundry, meals and managing our finances. And not doing anything really well and the house...well, I used to flinch at a speck of dirt on the floor, now our Mastiff can hair the floor to pieces and I flinch, get angry and just move on! Unfortunately a cleaning service is not an option, nor is a cook or chauffer...
Issue #3-My children would rather play together (dolls, legos, or just argue, whatever) than do ANY school. And though the TV is off almost all of the time, if it is on for any reason--all five turn into drones and I cannot get their attention with a cannon! I am tempted to toss it out the window, but there are times the baby/toddler need to be occupied (like when I'm trying to make dinner...).
There is one other thing, we have no set schedule right now, which may be the crux of of our problems this year. My mom was recently diagnosed w/ cancer that is relatively advanced and she lives 3 hours from us. I am her only daughter and she is my best friend since my conception and so I have been going over to see her and help her and my dad out as often as I can. So now I am hardly home (Elizabeth & Kim I am loving your ideas of the Home Companions about now)!!! This certainly is the hardest time for our family, but I do not think there has been a time when life had no "issues" but the ins & outs of homeschooling. Someone has always "needed" our help in a significant way. I think this is just life??
OK and finally issue #4: Maybe too many outside activities...10yob & 6yog swimming team practice 3 evenings/week. 10yob scouts 1 evening/week. 6 yog ballet 1 night/week. 4 yog ballet 1 morning/week. 10 yob piano 1 morning/week, 6yog Little Flowers 2 afternoons/month. 10 yob science coop class 2 mornings/month. Also First Friday classes and other activities w/ our Catholic Homeschooling group. Oh, and daily mass around 3X week. WOW, too much, you think??
Well, I know this is a long post, but am wondering if you all have ever had a time when it all just seemed like way too much and how you handled it. Any insight would help me at this point as I am feeling quite discouraged...
Thank you all so much! Many prayers up for you all as I am on the board as often as I can be!
Peace to all, Joelle (Mom of 5: 10, 6, 4, 2, 11 mos)
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Leonie
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| Posted: Oct 27 2006 at 5:08pm | IP Logged
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Joelle,
To me, your List School seems like a lot of work. I know that we, here, we would never get to bookmaking and music and free time/masterly inactivity, if we had to complete such a List every day.
Just a thought.
We combine subject areas into a theme or rabbit trail - and often the rabbit trail is based on a child's interest or a movie or a book. Combining free time interest and play ( eg a Lego unit we did last year) with integrated subjects.
Here is an article about relaxed homeschooling - perhaps it will help.
I will say a prayer for your mum!
__________________
Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
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lapazfarm
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| Posted: Oct 27 2006 at 7:25pm | IP Logged
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It does sound like you have a whole lot on your plate. The outside activities alone would make my head spin!
I don't want to tell you what or where, but I would cut back alot.
Life, as you know, is too short.
__________________
Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
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Mary G
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| Posted: Oct 27 2006 at 7:41pm | IP Logged
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Great article, Leonie -- thanks for posting!
__________________
MaryG
3 boys (22, 12, 8)2 girls (20, 11)
my website that combines my schooling, hand-knits work, writing and everything else in one spot!
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alicegunther
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| Posted: Oct 27 2006 at 9:12pm | IP Logged
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With all those beautiful little children and home and so much care and concern for your mother, it is not surprising that this would be a difficult time for you now. I highly recommend that you take Leonie's advice and give yourself permission to stray from the rigid school list for the forseeable future.
Keep the TV turned off, because TV prevents natural learning experiences from taking place. Then focus on books, books, books--beautiful books that you and the children will love, books that will inspire and spark their imaginations. Great sources for ideas may be found at Here in the Bonny Glen and Real Learning for starters.
While you are visiting the Bonny Glen, take a look at this excellent post on
Tidal Homeschooling. I love Lissa's description of how the way we educate changes during certain phases and events of our lives.
I will pray for your mother and for you.
__________________
Love, Alice
mother of seven!
      
Cottage Blessings
Brew yourself a cup of tea, and come for a visit!
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mumofsix
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| Posted: Oct 28 2006 at 3:15am | IP Logged
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I felt a bit like you a year ago, for various reasons. Homeschooling is a challenge at the best of times, and just one extra burden can tip you over the edge.
My approach was a little different, so I will share it just in case it is helpful.
I do have an older daughter who must tackle a demanding academic curriculum if she wants to go to university (and as we speak, she does), so the relaxed rabbit-trailing approach on its own would not work for us. Also, if you are pushed for time, designing your own curriculum from scratch in every area can be very time-consuming.
I used the MOTH formula to see exactly where our time was going, and planned out our day so as to get to everything that we needed to. Now we do not stick rigidly to this schedule by any means, but it has helped me to be realistic about what we can and cannot include. We did pare down quite a bit on outside activities, as my MOTH forms demonstrated to me beyond fudging that there were just not enough hours in the day or week to accomplish all that I would ideally like to. Some things just had to go: we had to make choices, establish priorities.
As to curriculum, the reason textbooks and workbooks were invented in the first place is because they are very efficient. Some are also much better than others. We do use carefully chosen textbooks and workbooks for quite a few subjects. There are also subjects where we do not use textbooks or workbooks at all until high school level if then, and these are principally science, literature and history.
I have slots in my day for "fun schooling" and for reading aloud and for playing with my little ones and for being outside. I protect these times, as I think they are at least as important as the more formal work, and it gives me satisfaction to know that I have done these things that my children love.
We do say a five decade rosary as a family each night. Sometimes it is tempting to skip it or just say a decade if we are very pushed for time, but when we do it is always a mistake. That is such a peaceful well of time and seems to banish that harried feeling.
Finally we have no television, though we do watch videos, at most twice per week.
I can honestly say that at the moment my children are all very happy with what we are doing and are very co-operative and appreciative. (This has not always been the case.)
Hth! Jane.
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Leonie
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| Posted: Oct 28 2006 at 3:27am | IP Logged
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mumofsix wrote:
| I can honestly say that at the moment my children are all very happy with what we are doing and are very co-operative and appreciative. (This has not always been the case.) |
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Lovely Jane! Isn't it super when things are flowing well, with God's grace?
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Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
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Joelle
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| Posted: Oct 30 2006 at 8:41am | IP Logged
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Thank you so much for your insight. I just returned home from my mom's and was overwhelmed and questioning homeschooling at all! I loved the Relaxed homeschooling and that is what I planned on in the beginning and somewhere along the line I was caugt up in we need to do this and this and this to make an effective homeschool experience! Thank you again!!! Blessings, Joelle.
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4 lads mom
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| Posted: Oct 30 2006 at 2:58pm | IP Logged
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Hi Joelle,
I have had very similiar experiences.....I have referred on this board to my little DS's medical problems. He is my miracle boy, doing great now...but it has been 5 years of 11 surgeries, 4 since this past Janurary...he had a trach, a g-tube,(all out now) and not to mention I had 3 other boys to take care of....2 of them having INTENSE food allergies necessitating LOTS of cooking at home, no eating out hardly at all. Sooooo, what did I do? Feel crazy, like a LOT of the time. BUT, I would do it all over again...and still homeschool. We really did adapt a real "unschooling" kind of attitude much of the time. While I see now there are areas that need attending to, my boys have learned sooo much the other way, just like "how to suction a trach 101" and "how to stay calm and grab the trach bag when your little brother's trach falls out 101" (okay, that is probably an upper level class!!)  I know the boys have all learned immeasurable skills during our chaos times, and I am so proud of all of them. Your littles will learn things too in this time of your life...compassion and empathy as they see you obeying the 4th Commandment....life skills as you pull them to the laundry baskets and show them how to fold laundry....etc etc...I, too, had to back off the academics for a while and READ outloud a ton. I have fond memories of my husband reading every night to all of the boys that year following my special needs baby's birth. He read Chronicles of Narnia...the whole set...and it made a Huge impression on the boys. They had so many great conversations about those books, and learned a lot about great language and storyline. Now, we need to move along a more academic track as my older 2 are nearing high school in the next few years...but even then, we are still relaxed and I see growth from all of them. My goal is not to copy what is done at "school", but to follow the developmental leads of my children and "light the fire".
Don't negate the impact that "less busyness" can have on your family, for the good!! We all struggle with the balace, and what seems really busy right now, might be just right later when a few things calm down, when ages shift in your family...etc...doing Scouts or other stuff was way too much just 2 years ago, now we are ready for those kinds of things.
Take care, and don't forget doing something fun for YOU too!! I learned to knit when my special needs baby was 3 mos. old...it sounds crazy, life was way over the top, but knitting was a lifesaver at that point. It was my "thing" to hold onto when everything else didn't make a whole lot of sense! (Obviously, God and the Blessed Mother rank above knitting, but I meant like a craft, or hobby to renew your spirits ALONG with prayer. 
I'll be praying for all Moms who feel overwhelmed!
4 Lads' Mom
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farmgirls
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| Posted: Oct 31 2006 at 7:53am | IP Logged
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Hi Joelle,
My kids are similar ages to yours. We don't have a major life stressor at the moment but I have felt like we were always too busy. This year I decided to cut WAY back on activities...only preplanned events one day a week. I also decided to attempt a more relaxed unschooling kind of approach and make things like baking and making the costumes for our All Saints party be the educational experience for the day. My 10 yo has a general daily assignment, reading non-fiction of her choice for an hour, math, writing, catechism. My 7 yo just focuses on the basics, also, as time permits. Anyway, the point I am trying to make is that I think we have learned a lot more this year so far than any other. We have had more time for free playdates and tea times for moms which is something I really missed. The kids seem to be having more fun and I know I am more relaxed and happy. By the way, taking care of your sick mother is a better lesson than any book could ever teach your kids. One more aside...I did happen to find a worthy single mother who is homeschooling her daughter and hired her to clean for me. I may be stretching this, but I consider employing her a charitable contribution.
Always praying for moms who are overwhelmed.
Katy
Mom to 4 farmgirls 10,7,5,4)
ps. My oldest daughter just read this and said she agrees!
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vmalott
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| Posted: Oct 31 2006 at 10:42am | IP Logged
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Joelle wrote:
| I just returned home from my mom's and was overwhelmed and questioning homeschooling at all! |
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Joelle,
I think we all have those moments from time to time when we question whether homeschooling is really the right thing for our family. I know I have these moments. Then, when I have a moment to reflect on things, I remember how hectic is was to have just one child in school and trying to manage family life around someone else's schedule That seems to do the trick for me. If you haven't sent your children to school, then you aren't really familiar with the realities of that life! Imagine trying to still fit all those wonderful outside activities in after the kids get home from school. There would be precious little family time.
Anyway, remember what a blessing homeschooling is, even in those challenging times of life. Yes, the stress you are feeling right now is probably a wake up call that things are out of balance. Allow yourself a little time to re-evaluate your goals and assess your priorities. That might mean cutting some things out--either activities or part of your curriculum--or it might mean working towards being more organized or scheduled, or maybe relaxing a great deal.
I'll be praying for you and your mom. I lost my dad 10 years ago to lung cancer and I wish more than anything that I could've been there for him (he lived 800 miles away). While I realize that the travel and the visits can take their toll, you're fortunate to have this time with your mom.
God bless,
Valerie
__________________
Valerie
Mom to Julia ('94), John ('96), Lizzy ('98), Connor ('01), Drew ('02), Cate ('04), Aidan ('08) and three saints in heaven
Seven Times the Fun
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Kelly
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| Posted: Oct 31 2006 at 11:09pm | IP Logged
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Great day in the morning, girl, you've definitely got a pile on your plate! Just quoting the rest, I'd cut back exponentially, cut OFF the TV (can you just use it for videos, maybe?) and finally, spend as much time as you can with your mother and don't worry overmuch about the homeschooling. Unless you're kids are in 11th grade and preparing for college entrance exams or something, you probably have room to "slide". The best teaching you can give your children is that of ministering to your mother, your example is their education---they will not get that in books or any "regular" school! When my own mother, who was a wonderful person, got sick, my godmother (then in her 70s) took me aside and said, "When MY mother was sick, someone told me to shelve everything else, and spend as much time as possible with my mother. You do the same. You will never regret it, you will never have that opportunity again" Wise words (that you obviously knew before!) but that I share with you to reinforce your decision Also, what a blessing for your mother that your children can be available to spend more time with her as opposed to being tucked away in school all day.
Be assured, we all get overwhelmed! Hang in there. From what you've written, sounds like you've been Super Woman, but even The Lady in Blue needs a break. You've got a lot of people depending on you. I like Leonie's "relaxed homeschooling" approach! Cut back on "formal" school, cut off the boob tube, read loads of books, make a lap book or something fun, and spend time with your mother: Maintenance Curriculum for those stressful times. You can do it
Just my big mouth 2 cents worth. Keeping you in our prayers.
Kelly in FL
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bfarmmom
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Hi Joelle,
I just want you to know that I am praying for you. I have recently been feeling overwhelmed also. We are expecting our 6th child here soon and I am just exhausted.
We had a workbook for EVERYTHING, and then some. Somedays not finishing until 4pm and by that time to tired to do all of the fun stuff like reading out loud, lapbooks, art, etc. And then I realized that all of the above is learning. I have backed off of the workbooks all together except for math. We have started with read alouds and narrations, math games, going outside and just being together and talking. It is just the break I needed and the children are much more relaxed and attentive. I am hoping this new style will stick as I learn more about this method of teaching. I am the type that has to have the workbook pages done and the list checked off in order to feel like I have accomplished. something.
I guess what I am saying is it is ok to lay back a little or a lot . You do sound like your plate is very full. Please take care of yourself also. You have a lot of little ones depending on you! I am also praying for your dear mom. My mom has battled cancer twice. It is a day by day thing. Take Care.
Peace,
Kirsten
ds9,dd7,dd6,ds3,dd2,New little one in Dec!
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: In need of REAL help!
