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dizzylaurel
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| Posted: Sept 17 2006 at 10:47am | IP Logged
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Hi all,
I've been on the boards for a month or so--mostly reading at this point--but the discernment process is moving along and the Spirit is urging me to action!
We're in our fourth year of homeschooling...2 girls, 8th & 3rd grade (plus I have a friend's two girls, 8th & 6th grade three days a wee). I started using a unit study approach, and last year went more for a partial package deal for english/math. This year I've already hit the "burn out" week and it's only week 7! My biggest fear right now is that my kids are losing that spark that shows they care about what they're doing.
In the past couple of months I've been reading more about unschooling--or at least a more relaxed approach than I'm doing now--and I have some real doubts. I know I'm too control oriented for my own good, and I know that I just need to take the jump in faith, but these are my kids, and I don't want to get it wrong! :O)
My biggest concern is my 7 year old, who has been blessed twice over by inheriting her stong willed nature from both parents. Right now I think she sees me as the mommy who ALWAYS has it her way (and I see myself as the servant who caters too much already), and now I'm contemplating giving her even MORE control? And yet, last week when our local learning center classes began, she sat on her bed for over an hour until she could sing her ABC's in French while signing them as well...to see that gleam again was heaven!
My 8th grader is pretty independent already, and aside from those things she does because the "state says she has to", she is well on her way to being an independent learner....however, I don't want her to end up playing computer games and watching DVD's all day with high school starting next year.
Any input from those of you who have been here? My heart tells me it's time to let go...my head gives me reasons galore as to why it isn't a good idea! And so I pray and listen!
Have been enjoying the site so much! Hope to have more time to post!
Hugs,
Laurel in PA
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Patty LeVasseur
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| Posted: Sept 17 2006 at 11:52am | IP Logged
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Laurel,
I know that there are unschoolers who would disagree with what I am about to say, but here goes. I think there is a difference between letting your children have input on what they study and how they study it and allowing them to do whatever they want. I limit "screen time" to 30 minutes a day. I don't include anything that I think is school related like French CD-ROMs or Great Bible Adventure videos. I also give my children the freedom to pick what they are going to read, but with the understanding that I can veto their selection if I find it objectionable. I hope that helps.
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Patty
mom to four blessings
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Sept 17 2006 at 2:11pm | IP Logged
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I mainly unschool and would agree with Patty.. you are letting them follow interests and such.. doesn't mean you have to allow the tv on. You're still the PARENT you're just sharing the control of what is learned with the child. Unschooling doesn't mean unparenting. And if as the parent you have limits on things.. screen time or whatever.. that's fine.
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All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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ALmom
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| Posted: Sept 17 2006 at 2:50pm | IP Logged
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I learned that a lot of what you do has to do with the child and your own particular strengths as parent/teacher. I tried to let go with my oldest and found out she really floundered without the structure so we went back - gave directions but could modify by mutual consent and of course, I could insist on certain things if I saw the avoidance was just lack of confidence. Ie - child not doing math because they think they are dumb - well then we insist on math (they have got to do it in order to gain confidence in it) but we find something that the child is successful with. Sometimes that child had to just plug through a new concept - and then suddenly it was OK again and I had to be there to encourage and aid. Without that, this child had an avoidance tendency (kind of natural, I think). Another child, I give tons more freedom because that is how she learns best and she doesn't just look at the air when she has the freedom. But I still will insist on a few things that I think are important - and I do give at least some things (in academics or general house management, chores) that require attention to my instructions. We fill in as we see needs. All of my children like plans - but we work out our plans together with mom, dad and child discussing (in the older grades, anyways. I tend to set more in the younger grades but still do elicit input on some things. Giving some choices that are acceptable to us.)
Janet
But, I know what you mean about feeling the stress. I am a control freak and it is hard for me to let go. I also know that I can only focus on one thing at a time so that unit studies and group type stuff doesn't work for me unless the children are doing it themselves. I think the big thing is not to do too much (whatever the style of teaching suits your family) so that there is time for leisure. If you see burn out - perhaps look at what is really essential (ie if your child is really strong in grammar, then do you really need to worry about grammar this year. Maybe focus on one or two areas that you want to see improvement and let the child self-direct in the areas of their own strength. I admire a lot of what I see people doing on the Unschooling thread (I lurk there a lot as well) but I'm still not comfortable doing this in my own home. I think it is a result of my own limitations and that is OK too. I have to be realistic about my own comfort level as well as my children's, but I can still glean ideas.
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Cici
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| Posted: Sept 19 2006 at 3:01pm | IP Logged
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I'm no expert here, but I'd thought I'd chip in with a suggestion. Pop over to Lissa's blog and read a bit about how she unschools with her family. Of particular note (scroll down and on the right hand side under Bonney Glen Highlights) are Tidal Homeschooling and Strategic Strewing. The "Not Superman Series" gives insights on how she manages to stay on schedule with "pegs."
Good luck.
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Leonie
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| Posted: Sept 19 2006 at 6:11pm | IP Logged
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I think my problem was over control - so it was good for me to let go in some areas. This came after a lot of prayer - I realized that I didn't have to micromanage my dc's days and teach them everything - they could also learn on their own and follow interests.
Trust for me is closely aligned to my spiritual life - I do pray for our homeschool every day in my own prayer time.
Trust doesn't mean that I have no say in what goes on - we have pegs in our day and week and I am a pretty strong person so my thoughts are well considered. 
For example, yesterday the three youngest said they wanted to play the board game RISK. We spent some time together listening to music and talking, then I also remindnd them of some written work - Maths and Latin for one son ( his choice) , Maths and handwriting for another son. And about fitting in the game with newspaper folding and delivery.
A blend - I am not controlling every minute of their days, I *am* trusting they will learn but I also share my input and ( minimal) expectations.
Not very clear? 
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Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
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dizzylaurel
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| Posted: Sept 20 2006 at 7:31am | IP Logged
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Thanks to all for some wonderful advice! I've visited alot of homeschool blogs (loved all of the above mentioned!) and have decided that for just this week I'd try and "let go" a bit. In the process I've found some real insight, and I've seen the "spark" come alive a few times. Two examples....my youngest has some bookwork for language arts and spelling--both strong subjects for her. She said they were "boring", and in looking through them I realized that the first half of one book and a good part of the other ARE things she knows. Instead, I told her she could use her Storybook Weaver CD for her language arts, as long as after she did her story I could sit down and show her where the proper punctuation and spelling changes needed to be made. Four pages later I was convinced that "real" learning was working!
Another example later in the day....I was planning on using "English from the Roots Up" during the year with the three older girls, complete with their whole file card system set up. I decided instead to just have all the roots for the day on magnets and a board, and we played a game making up as many words as we could...an hour later we had all had a WONDERFUL time, and I'm seeing answers to my prayers of discernment coming to pass. Aside from math (that will be the LAST to go, I think I can let go and still get the essentials in).
I ALSO think I'll be here more often since I won't have QUITE as much planning and re-planning all day long to have our state required log books done! 
Hugs,
Laurel in PA
Mom to dd-12  , dd-7  and two "adopted"
daugthers three days a week, 13 and 11 
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Leonie
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| Posted: Sept 20 2006 at 5:55pm | IP Logged
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Laurel,
I loved hearing about your learning sparkes.
The gane with the EFTRU cards sounds like fun.
One thing we have been doing more of this year is refrigerator strewing - putting things of interest on the fridge for discussion and then for occasional perusal. We have been doing Latin quotes and poetry this term - the EFTRU cards would be good for fridge strewing, too, imo.
Have fun!
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Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: How do you let go and just trust?
