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rose gardens
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Does anyone else here feel a sense of dread as the "official" school year approaches?
From September-May I constantly question my homeschooling abilities.
During the summer, no problem. My 5 year old daughter showed signs of reading readiness so I began teaching her how to read this summer in a relaxed environment. Yesterday my 7 year old son asked about multiplication after he discovered a math toy while we organized our learning area, so I showed him the general priciples of multiplication. We just finished reading a book about the moon and threw rocks in a pan of flour to imitate the making of moons craters. We watch caterpillars turn to butterflies and harvest vegetables from the garden we planted in spring. Lovely learning experiences throughout the summer while I feel refreshed and alive  .
But September approaches. I'm both excited to officially start, yet I dread the feelings of inadequacy that haunt me when most other children attend brick school houses. I fear some mythical state official lurks about my home, ready to knock on the door and accuse me of educational neglect  (maybe I read too many HSLDA articles.) The more those feelings take hold, the more teaching becomes a chore, and the less "real learning" takes place in my home.
Does anyone else struggled with this?
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Courtney
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Funny you should mention this today! I've been having battles in my head all day! If our days don't unfold like I expect, I start doubting myself, may ability to maintain order and consistency and doubt whether they're learning at all! I do know that my dc have learned so much just from experiencing real life like you are talking about. I think b/c I struggle btwn rigid structure and unschooling, I'm apt to have more battles in my head. I look forward to hearing others' thoughts!
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Courtney in Texas
Wife to Mike since 3/94 
Mom to Candace 10/97,Christopher 4/00 and Connor 11/11
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lapazfarm
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I am so excited about this year that I cannot wait to begin (next week! Hooray!)!
That doesn't mean I don't have my worries and doubts, however.
My worries are more about whether I will be able to sustain the excitement, stay focused and get into a routine after a long summer of vegging out, and maintain my energy level in order to do all the wonderful things we really want to do.
I have done this long enough, however, that I know that at first our excitement will carry us through, then comes the stage of being totally overwhelmed when the initial excitement wears off and routines are not yet ingrained, then as we hit our groove it settles out again and we get tons of stuff done. Just in time for Christmas, where we take a break and start all over again! It's the rhythm of the year for us.
Take a deep breath and revisit your reasons for homeschooling. Chances are, you will find confidence and courage as you remember why you are doing this to begin with.
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Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
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Sarah
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Again, funny you should mention this today, as just over lunch my dh and I had an attack of doubts. We even discussed that [imaginary]school official that would come knocking to see what page we're on.  I agree you can get paranoid, especially when you wonder what grade your kids are really in!
School starts on Mon. in our house. As I look at what I want to accomplish and remember all that went undone last year, I start to doubt. As I pulled myself out of bed again this morning, after not getting enough sleep yet another night (toddler nurse-a-thon), I filled with dread also. When I saw the books and subjects we never even touched last year, I worried. 
Right before bed last night I was struck with a feeling that comes and goes throughout my hs-ing career and that's the feeling that I am alone. All these choices, schedules, failures, etc. are on ME. YIKES! I am so incompetent. How and When will all this get accomplished? Am I doing it right? All these little eyes looking at me to be their leader. . .in EVERYTHING!
On a good day, I remember God. That He will help me and I feel peace. On a bad day, I shoulder the burden alone and crash and burn. 
Each year I pick a theme. Last year our theme was Exploring. It came to me this year that our motto would be "Into His Hands. . ." (we will place everything) and it will be His hand that leads us.
God's Hand is in everything.
His hand will shield us.
His hand will reprove us.
His hand will guide us.
His hand will wipe our tears.
His hand will give us grace.
His hand will applaud our good works.
His hand will help us.
His hand will carry us.
Fear not, my friend. You are not alone. . .
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Six boys ages 16, 14, 11, 7, 5, 2 and one girl age 9
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Meredith
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We like to start on Assumption Day as it's a beautiful celebration of Mary and it's totally different than how the secular schools begin their year! I also like mid August for starting as it usually takes us (ME) a few weeks to settle in to a more structured routine and I slowly add in a little more subject matter each week til we get up to full speed (whatever that may be)
I find that if you can celebrate with a Feast it also confirms the reasons why we are home educating, for the greater glory of God and His Mother and for the future of His Holy Church!!
Pray, that will always ease your fears and know that you are NOT alone, we all have our strugles of some kind or another throughout the year
Blessings!
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Meredith
Mom of 4 Sweeties
Sweetness and Light
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Elizabeth
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Meredith wrote:
We like to start on Assumption Day as it's a beautiful celebration of Mary and it's totally different than how the secular schools begin their year! I also like mid August for starting as it usually takes us (ME) a few weeks to settle in to a more structured routine and I slowly add in a little more subject matter each week til we get up to full speed (whatever that may be)
I find that if you can celebrate with a Feast it also confirms the reasons why we are home educating, for the greater glory of God and His Mother and for the future of His Holy Church!! |
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Meredith,
I thought this was a wonderful idea when I read it on your blog. Next year, definitely. I'm eager to begin and had planned on next week. But, then again, if I wait until September 8th, it will be the Blessed Mother's Birthday. If I wait much longer than that, I can have my pick of any number of family birthdays including a new one! So...in the interest of getting something done before the baby comes, I'm going with Monday.
__________________
Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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rose gardens
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Sarah wrote:
| ...just over lunch my dh and I had an attack of doubts. We even discussed that [imaginary]school official that would come knocking to see what page we're on. ...Right before bed last night I was struck with a feeling that comes and goes throughout my hs-ing career and that's the feeling that I am alone. All these choices, schedules, failures, etc. are on ME. YIKES! I am so incompetent. How and When will all this get accomplished? Am I doing it right?...On a good day, I remember God. That He will help me and I feel peace. On a bad day, I shoulder the burden alone and crash and burn. ...It came to me this year that our motto would be "Into His Hands. . ." (we will place everything) and it will be His hand that leads us. |
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Funny that officials who are suppose to assure that children recieve an education instead produce paranoid fears that disrupt the process. Yet simultaneously we fear we shoulder our children's education all alone and think we are incompetent.
I like your motto for the year; I might borrow it . Rather than some imaginary school official, God watches us each and every moment as we educate our children. He holds us accountable, yet also provides the grace that uphold us.
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rose gardens
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lapazfarm wrote:
It's the rhythm of the year for us.
Take a deep breath and revisit your reasons for homeschooling. |
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Maybe I just need to acknowledge that self-doubt is part of the rhythm of the year, like the weather. During the darkest and coldest winter months, home schooling also feels darkest and coldest. I'm originally from sunny Southern California, and I think the change of weather here in Minnesota strongly affects my psyche. Dark clouds, severe thundershowers, with large hail yesterday, which produced fears of the interior storms to come.
Breathe and revisit reasons for homeschooling in the first place. Good advice.
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TracyQ
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This year, for some reason, I feel much more peace than I have the first 2 years of high school with our oldest. He'll be in 11th grade this year, and our second is starting 9th.
Homeschooling in high school keeps me on my knees every single day! And there will be no exception this year, I'm sure. We also will have a 6th grader this year. We're starting our 12th year of homeschooling. Wow! It seems like just yesterday that we began.
I understand how you are feeling, because those scary and lonely feelings really envelop us, and sometimes they can even leave us feeling paralyzed with fear! 
Last year, as I was in my *panic mode*, thinking I can't do this, I'm not good enough, what if my decision is ruining my childrens' lives? Again, on my knees, I remembered what God tries to tell me every single day on this journey........
No, you CAN'T do this alone, and you aren't doing this alone, and I'm not leaving you alone on this journey. I'm walking right here beside you when you need someone to walk with. I'm walking right here in front of you when you need me to show you the way. I'm walking right here behind you when you need me to catch you when you stumble, and when you're so weary and exhausted from the journey, I am carrying you.
There are TWO sayings that God has given me to carry me through the journey.
*God does not call the equipped, HE EQUIPS the called!*
We are not doing this alone. He never calls us to do something, then leaves us alone to do it. He will give us ALL we need on this journey to which He's called us.
*Our PRIMARY GOAL is not to prepare them for college. Our PRIMARY goal is to prepare them for Heaven!*
I understand that we need to prepare our children for their life. But I've seen time and time again, so many homeschooled children who do very well and excel in their lives after being homeschooled. (Speaking generally), they are confident, able to work with others of many ages which is necessary in their life after their education, and they are often hard workers who are articulate and well mannered, and very willing to learn whatever they need to do a good job.
I need to combat the feeling of fear, and the feeling of inadequacy often spewed about to homeschooling moms by the world. And the weapons to combat them are FAITH and TRUST. I realize that I need to do what is NOT easy to do. I need to realize that God has called *OUR* family to homeschool and to continue this journey, and run this race all the way through. While that brings that paralyzing fear streaming through my entire body, I need to stop it with the faith and trust I have in the Lord, because without Him, I am nothing. But WITH HIM, I can do ALL THINGS.
I'm VERY determined to combat those feeling this year HEAD ON, with the weapons of faith and trust, knowing that the Lord would never call me to do something so important as to prepare HIS CHILDREN that He's entrusted to us in this way, then leave me alone to do it. That just doesn't make sense. So why then do I feel so alone sometimes? It's BECAUSE I allow that to happen, and I allow Satan to use that fear and guilt to build myself into a frenzy.
I am DETERMINED this year to ENJOY our school year, and to find the peace I have in Christ, knowing that though we're not a perfect family, and our homeschool is not perfect, that it IS one where the Lord is King, and where He resides! And I will be thankful for every moment we have, as we do our best to learn together and grow in His love.
Now, someone needs to save this, and throw it back to me when I'm going through a panic mode in October!
__________________
Blessings and Peace,
Tracy Q.
wife of Marty for 20 years, mom of 3 wonderful children (1 homeschool graduate, 1 12th grader, and a 9th grader),
homeschooling in 15th year in Buffalo, NY
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rose gardens
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Meredith wrote:
| We like to start on Assumption Day as it's a beautiful celebration of Mary and it's totally different than how the secular schools begin their year! |
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I like this. My state requires that I submit a "school calendar", and I toy around with the idea of submitting something completely different from secular schools. Education happens everyday, and possibly more so during the warm months of summer when we relax and grow like the gardens around us.
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rose gardens
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TracyQ--beautiful post! So, I'm not the only mom who fears I'm ruining my children's lives.
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hylabrook1
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Oh my goodness! You would think that as we are about to begin our 15th year of homeschooling I would be *beyond* such fears and doubts! (At least *I* wish I were beyond such fears and doubts) SO - yesterday I was trying to write up lessons for Monday's start. My 14yo dd came in and asked why was she doing Earth Science; she had never heard of Earth Science, and all *normal* 9th graders are doing Biology! (Of course, I have no idea of what people do at what age, right?) SO -- we talked it over. I have just spent 20% of my school budget getting materials for this course that I thought would be better suited for her than Biology. Guess what? I now have to dig out my Biology materials and write lesson plans for that because this is just that important to her! Silly me!
It's really okay; it just shows to go you that I will never be THAT sure of where I am going until I get there!
Nancy
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lapazfarm
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My daughter took Earth Science in 9th grade. And she goes to public school
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Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
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time4tea
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I attended a private Catholic girls' high school and we didn't have ANY science in 9th Grade at all! We picked it up again in 10th with Biology and in 11th with Chem. I think that MODG and Seton also make Science an "option" for 9th grade, if I'm not mistaken. As long as you have the number of Science credits needed to graduate, I'd tell your dd not to worry about sequence per se.
I, too, worry about messing up my kids lives. But then, I remember how it was for them (our oldest two, at least) when they were in ps, and how little they were learning and how (in the case of my kids) unhappy they were. You know, we as homeschoolers may not do everything perfectly, but I think it's important to remember that neither do those teachers in the "red brick buildings". That is one of the many reasons the homeschooling movement (if I can call it that) has grown so enormously over the past few decades. I think Tracy's point about us preparing our dc for Heaven is so important to keep in mind - always focus on WHY we are homeschooling. This year, I think I'm going to write it down and post it somewhere where I can see it on a daily basis, just to remind myself.
As an aside, I just began reading (for the 3rd time) Karen Andreola's Charlotte Mason Companion. I feel like every time I read that book again, something else jumps out at me that perhaps I overlooked ir didn't make a big an impression on me before. The thing that has been jumping out at me this time has been that Karen never worries about how her homeschool is running until she begins to compare it to other peoples ideas of how her homeschool should be running. I think this is so true of most of us (definitely describes me! ). I think this year, I am also going to focus on not comparing our homeschool to others' sometimes unrealistic expectations of what it should be.
(And now, I am giving myself a huge pat on the back for finally having figured out how to use the "italics" feature - yes, I AM that technologically challenged
 ! Now, if only I could get that "quote" thing to work........)
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Blessings to you!
~Tea
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cathhomeschool
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time4tea wrote:
| Now, if only I could get that "quote" thing to work........) |
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Hit the "Quote" button in the top right-hand-corner of the post you want to quote. Then just delete everything between the brackets that you don't want to quote. Try it, then hit "Preview Post" instead of "Post Reply" to see if it's working!
I think that we can all relate to the doubt issue at some point or other. Most years I'm very excited about the start of the school year. This year, though I don't have doubts, a combination of non-school related issues have robbed me of most of that essential start of the year enthusiasm. I decided that we just have to jump in and not worry about the details (planning the details is normally my favorite part, even though I know we won't do half of it!). I know that the kids will learn a lot, and that most of what we cover will not be what I thought we'd cover anyway! Happens every year.
Rose Gardens, if you're worried about the Mythical State Official and Real Learning, you might try jotting down what the kids actually do each day (after the fact). Focus on real, outside-the-box learning. Lots of moms do this at day's end, and I can personally vouch for the fact that the kids do much more than you think they might over the course of a day.
Meredith, I LOVE the Assumption Day idea! I'll have to file that away for next year. We have to ease into the year too.
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Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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rose gardens
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time4tea wrote:
| But then, I remember how it was for them (our oldest two, at least) when they were in ps, and how little they were learning.... You know, we as homeschoolers may not do everything perfectly, but I think it's important to remember that neither do those teachers in the "red brick buildings". |
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Good points. Re-visiting reasons why we began to homeschool made me laugh at how we kind of fell into it homeschooling by de-fault after the two years my chidren spent in public school taught them very little except for bad manners. It's not just what they did or didn't learn inside the "red brick building" either. My children rode an unsupervised school bus that exposed them to bad things  , while I prayed alone. When we first started homeschooling I used to tell myself that no matter what else we did that day, begining our school day with prayer put them ahead of their old public school.
time4tea wrote:
The thing that has been jumping out at me this time has been that Karen never worries about how her homeschool is running until she begins to compare it to other peoples ideas of how her homeschool should be running. I think this is so true of most of us (definitely describes me! ). I think this year, I am also going to focus on not comparing our homeschool to others' sometimes unrealistic expectations of what it should be.
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I not only compare myself to those who homeschool child protegies, I compare myself to the best and most expensive private Catholic school. Elizabeth wrote a great piece entitled "Keep Your Eyes on Your Own Work". Good advice.
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TracyQ
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She did! Sounds like something I need to have! Where did Elizabeth write this wonderful piece????
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Blessings and Peace,
Tracy Q.
wife of Marty for 20 years, mom of 3 wonderful children (1 homeschool graduate, 1 12th grader, and a 9th grader),
homeschooling in 15th year in Buffalo, NY
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cathhomeschool
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Right here: Keep your eyes on your own work!
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Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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TracyQ
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Thanks Janette!
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Blessings and Peace,
Tracy Q.
wife of Marty for 20 years, mom of 3 wonderful children (1 homeschool graduate, 1 12th grader, and a 9th grader),
homeschooling in 15th year in Buffalo, NY
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TracyQ
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My favorite line in Elizabeth's excellent piece of writing is this:
"This is our own personal journey to sanctity."
How often I've said to others that *I think I'M the one being MOST educated through homeschooling, not the kids!"
Thank you for sharing this with me. I've been blessed as begin our new year on Tuesday. I had fear grip me just this morning again, and God is always SO FAITHFUL to bring me encouragement, support, and love.
__________________
Blessings and Peace,
Tracy Q.
wife of Marty for 20 years, mom of 3 wonderful children (1 homeschool graduate, 1 12th grader, and a 9th grader),
homeschooling in 15th year in Buffalo, NY
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Topic: as the new school year approaches
