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LML22
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| Posted: July 08 2006 at 7:42am | IP Logged
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Do you unschooled children ever want to feel more "normal", like schooled children or even school at home homeschoolers? My children are mostly introverts and get asked questions a lot about homeschooling, especially things like "what grade are you in, what is your favorite subject, what kind of grades do you get, what are you learning in school" etc. and I think if we unschooled, they would struggle to answer these. Already, with our style of hs, they struggle to answer some of these questions but with unschooling it would be even harder. I know my oldest child really wants to be more like other children because we are already so different from most people.
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tovlo4801
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| Posted: July 08 2006 at 11:58am | IP Logged
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I think my oldest does feel that way sometimes. His best friends go to the local public school and I think mostly he sometimes has twinges of wishing he "did" more. So I've tried to find ways for him to have concrete productive things that make him feel more normal. However, I know he doesn't want to change the way we school.
As far as the questions go, that's hard. My youngest has always known school as being basically unschooling (and he's a chipper extrovert), so he just bouncily rattles off all that he "is" doing without realizing it's different...or if he realizes doesn't seem to care. :)
My oldest is more of an introvert and more sensitive to those questions. But we've learned ways to answer the questions so that what we're doing "sounds" schooly, but we're not telling untruths about what we do either.
My oldest wants more productive things. He's driving (with me as a resource and guide) what direction he goes, so it's legitimately unschooling, but some of the things he feels pulled toward "sound" very schooly. So that's what we talk about and people seem satisfied. Same with my youngest.
Also, this summer I think I've won some sneaky points with people because people keep asking us if we take the summer off. I smile and say, "I keep telling the kids we're ALWAYS learning." People take from that what they want to hear and I'm betting most of them don't realize what I'm really saying. hehe
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Leonie
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| Posted: July 09 2006 at 1:52am | IP Logged
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My kids typically say that they learn based on their interests. And they feel better off than their school aged peers - no homework!
However, last year we had two priests over for dinner. One priest asked Thomas ( then 12 ) what grade he was in at school. Thomas yelled from the sitting room to the kitchen ( where I was) - "Hey, mum, what grade am I in? " 
Valerie Bendt wrote that she gets her dc to say "We don't use grades in our educational process." 
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Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
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marihalojen
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| Posted: July 09 2006 at 8:56am | IP Logged
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We were at the library summer program and Marianna was 'socializing' and later came up and wanted to know what a grade card was, she'd forgotten and all the girls wanted to know what grades everyone got at school. I think it is so an example of how this school system teaches to the test and places so much emphasis on grades, that in the middle of the summer kids are still obsessing over their results. So sad.
While I'm writing - does anyone else have Homeschool Moms who place their kids entire grades above where they'd be by age? It seems like these are mostly workbookers but it does tend to raise questions on dd's part.
For instance we were doing Colonial times in our co-op and the kid who was '3' whole grades above normal knew less than dd who then started questioning what grade each topic should be taught in. Dd loves to dive deep into subjects so I just grabbed a text from the library and showed her the brief synopsis she'd have learned. It caused her to question the poor kid dreadfully for awhile though - 'Do you make costumes? food? Play games while in costume and eating food???'
LML22 - questions are good! And we are all different, what works for some would not work for others, what works at this time might not later...Kids are super adaptable. Oh, and by the time I was a Jr. High Homeschooler I lived for those questions. Had all sort of answers I was sure were witty beyond belief...  It was fun!
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~Jennifer
Mother to Mariannna, age 13
The Mari Hal-O-Jen
SSR = Sailing, Snorkling, Reading
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Kelly
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| Posted: July 28 2006 at 11:41pm | IP Logged
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The "What grade am I in" line is funny, Leonie! And I really like Valerie Bendt's response. I may have to steal that one! Last time someone asked me what grade someone was in, I was way too honest and said, "I dont' have a clue".  ---I dont think I had had my coffee yet at that point  ... Definitely not the best of answers, though. But grade levels DO start to blur after a while, don't they?
We usually assuage people's concerns by telling them what we DO, rather than give them some random number to peg us with. But as everyone above has noted, some kids deal better with those questions than others. Some Moms do, too---especially if they've had their coffee 
Kelly in FL
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Cindy
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| Posted: July 30 2006 at 9:57am | IP Logged
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We just kind of keep a running conversation going. My boys' best friend went back to school last year and we often pick him up and hear about what he is up to. It gives a good benchmark for conversation around here and helps the boys see they do much of what he does, but in our own time. (examples are his 'communication' class where he learns to make powerpoint presentations, or his english lit class where he reads and discusses books.. all of which we do here through interest led)
I also am sharing more ed philospophy and method books and execepts with them now. Esp as my oldest (16) is thinking more about college and what they look for- how what we do is helpful toward what colleges want- thinking skills, etc.
But, I have tried to bring in these conversations--- to help the boys find out how they fit with the world. We also read a lot about kids in school in books, which is a good point to work from. And we talk about famous people how homeschooled/unschooled. We enjoy also reading about people who went to traditiona school, but feel they got their 'real'education following interests (Steven Speilburg, Thomas Edison ).
It is a bit tricky at times to help the kids find their place in the world but not be of the world.... I would think it would be individual to each child and thier temperments and needs. I try and listen to see what needs they really have vs what needs I have... to make sure I don't project any insecurity I might have on them!
Yes.. we too often have to stop and think what 'grade' we are in. Just last week I was explaining to my 12yo what grades were for... why we claim them.. when they really are not important. (mostly to satify the outside and to have a framework of when we might want to 'graduate' though that is also flexible...)
We will graduate when they are ready. :)
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Cindy in Texas
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Willa
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| Posted: July 30 2006 at 10:20am | IP Logged
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Leonie wrote:
| Thomas yelled from the sitting room to the kitchen ( where I was) - "Hey, mum, what grade am I in? " |
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This is so like what my kids do. They look over at me and say, "hmm, what grade am I again?". Usually by high school they have developed a stock answer that satisfies people who are really just making polite conversation
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Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
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Willa
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| Posted: July 30 2006 at 11:10am | IP Logged
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It's funny, but introversion for my kids means they could care less what other kids think of them. Sometimes I wish they would be more clued in. If someone makes a big deal of grades or whatever, they usually think it's the other kid's problem or quirk.
But in fact, the majority of kids they talk to would rather talk about almost anything BUT school. So it doesn't come up beyond "what school do you go to?' and "What grade are you in?"
I think if you unschooled you could figure out ways to make what they do sound more conventional, if that's what your kids wanted. Maybe have a meeting every week or two and discuss what you've been learning so that when people ask, they can say "colonial history" or "times tables" or whatever. For my introverts, I find that they benefit from having an answer on top of their heads rather than buried somewhere deep inside. They may be passionately interested in a subject but if someone asks "what are you learning?" unless they have a thought-out answer, they will be tempted to say "Nothing" because that's what comes to the top of their mind!
And the grade -- if it is asked what grade my kids are in, I just say the grade that accords with their age -- no matter if they are ahead or behind or somehwere in the middle. I will call my developmentally delayed -just barely 7yo a "special needs first grader" even though he's doing Kindergarten work because it saves a lot of explaining to do it that way.
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Willa
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: questions people ask
