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knowloveserve
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Sometimes you just feel like you are at your breaking point. You are exhausted from the power struggle of trying to get your kids to follow YOUR plan for the day. The house is a mess, the babies are sick, the menu plan went out the window and no one is getting much school work done. You feel like you are living in a perpetual Lent and there's not even an Easter of the horizon to look forward to.
On such days it's important to break it down to the basics To simplify.
If you had three, and only three (because we overwhelmed types really start to lose it at long lists don't we?) tips to offer the overwhelmed homeschooling woman-- tips that have made a significant impact in your own life-- what would they be?
My three that help restore a peace to my soul:
1) Do all the non-essential subjects first. So often, my children can get through their workbook spelling, handwriting, and religion just fine. And math is fun on the computer (TT). But lunchtime rolls around and that seems to signal the unraveling point in our day. Now, I've reordered so that we we're working on science, history, Latin and art or music first thing so they don't get sacrificed. Most of the core subjects can be tackled independently by my kids so when we are focused and ready in the morning, we can enjoy those subjects. Afternoon rolls around and if things are going downhill, I can tend to making dinner or running errands while the kids "car school" or work on their workbook subjects with only minimal help. This has saved us a lot of agony.
2) Don't sacrifice the important for the urgent. Sainthood is found in the very simple command to "do the next thing." But the next thing isn't necessarily the most urgent thing. The emails and laundry and phone calls and spelling tests are all urgent. But sometimes the more important thing is just waiting and begging for your attention. I have to turn my mind off and ignore the 100 things demanding my attention to sit and read a story on the couch with my toddler. Or take my baby outside to soak up some precious winter sun. Or spend a few minutes listening to my oldest son tell me about his scouting project that I don't have time for. Or resisting the "catch up" time I am tempted to use lunch for and answer emails and instead just sitting with the children and eating my sandwich with them.
3)A combination of "Be who you are!" (JP2) and "Don't count the things you didn't do in the day. Count the things you did." Both of these I picked up from Suzie Andres' lovely little book. We are blessed to live a stone's throw from our church and that's the only reason we can make it to daily Mass. If in my day, the only thing I do is take my children to Mass, read them a story, go for a walk and have them watch a Planet Earth video... they are getting a much richer education than a significant population of the world. Obviously we don't have a bare bones day every day, but I know the charism of my family and I am trying to capitalize on the things we do well rather than getting constantly disheartened over our lack of musical prowess or not having awesome lap books to show off. Learn what your family is good at, what skills you can capitalize on and hone those. Get rid of the guilt you have when looking at other families... especially since we are so often tempted to compare the INSIDE of our lives with the OUTSIDE (i.e. what we see) of theirs.
Your three tips?
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Ellie
The Bleeding Pelican
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mamaslearning
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| Posted: Feb 29 2012 at 5:36pm | IP Logged
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This is very timely!
I sat down for a minute to cool off because - two kids are sick, I'm sick plus a throbbing head, hubby isn't coming home for a few more hours, dinner was a battle, dishes are piled up to be washed, the floor is a sticky mess, I have to make a bed that was peed in last night, the well kids are full of energy, and I'm D-O-N-E!   
Thanks for the bit of wisdom and perspective. 
Sorry, by brain's too fogged over to contribute to your wonderful post. 
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Lara
DD 11, DS 8, DS 6, DS 4
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Angie Mc
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I *love* lists and the challenge of choosing JUST 3! I pretty much cheated and went back to an old topic, Principles of Happy Moms who Home Educate and chose these:
* Anxiety and worry are not an inevitable part of home education or an outward sign of hard work. They are signs to re-group.
* Emphasize character formation for all, especially formation that increases family harmony and independent decision-making.
* We’re never behind. We’re exactly where God wants us. We entrust the past to God’s Divine Mercy and the future to His Divine Providence.
....I think the last one is the toughest to remember when things are tough. I'm forever challenged to detach from my desires, schedules, plans  ...to make room for His.
It surely feels like Lent  .
ETA: Thanks for sharing your helpful and lovely thoughts, Ellie.
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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mom2mpr
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1-I kind of do the opposite and make sure math and language arts are covered and let science and other stuff slide.
2-I also used to pray in the morning for God to lead me to the things He wants me to do and for the peace to be OK with the things that I didnt get done. I need to start saying that prayer again
3-get the kids outside for at least 30 minutes each day. And if I can, myself also.
I needed these ideas, I can't wait to hear others as I am in overwhelmed mode right now.
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Mackfam
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Angie Mc wrote:
* Anxiety and worry are not an inevitable part of home education or an outward sign of hard work. They are signs to re-group.
* Emphasize character formation for all, especially formation that increases family harmony and independent decision-making.
* We’re never behind. We’re exactly where God wants us. We entrust the past to God’s Divine Mercy and the future to His Divine Providence.
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I can't do much better than Angie's list.   Fantastic!!! It's grounded, practical, and right on!! I LOVE that first one!
Mine will sound similar. Here are my simple three:
1) Refresh prayer life and refocus on a habit of prayerful gratitude and trust. Trust in God's timing for our family. Trust that He will provide the grace to meet the day. Gratitude nurtures joy. Joy stretches out over everything. Therefore: PRAYER --> TRUST --> GRACE --> GRATITUDE --> JOY 2) Claim joy in little moments, in all the small spaces of the day.
3) Identify good habits that need bolstering (in the entire family). Drop everything else, focus on nurturing three simple habits: obedience, attentiveness, tidiness. (If I were going to stretch, I'd add a fourth focus: mandatory afternoon quiet time.)
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Jen Mackintosh
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JodieLyn
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The most important thing for me is to..
Do whatever it is I'm doing.
In other words.. be present, let those other things wait. If I'm worrying about other things while trying to do what I'm supposed to be doing at any given moment, not only do I not do what I'm working on well but I only create more anxiety and get nothing done on the things I'm worried about either.
If you're afraid you'll forget if you stop thinking about it. Write it down and then it will wait patiently for you.
Quote:
| Matthew 6:34. Be not therefore solicitous for to morrow; for the morrow will be solicitous for itself. Sufficient for the day is the evil thereof. |
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All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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guitarnan
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1. Pray for guidance every day and listen when God speaks to you (through Scriptures, through the quiet of early morning or late evening, through others).
2. Finish religion, math and English first if there are going to be disruptions during the day. History, science and foreign language are much easier to make up via field trips, cultural events and extra reading than are the "big three."
3. Accept that you are a family and that family events (of the crisis variety) are going to happen. This is part of real life and you are giving your children a wonderful opportunity to see what "Put God and family first" really means. (Tip: This is really easy to write. It's really hard to do.)
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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MaryM
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So, I guess "(1)curl up in the fetal position in bed, (2)with a box of dark chocolate and (3)listen to ABBA" wouldn't be productive advice to offer? 
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Mary M. in Denver
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SeaStar
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MaryM wrote:
| So, I guess "(1)curl up in the fetal position in bed, (2)with a box of dark chocolate and (3)listen to ABBA" wouldn't be productive advice to offer? |
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Dark chocolate cures all ills 
I am enjoying this thread, Ellie!
My top three:
1. Fix what's bugging me.
If I am feeling overwhelmed, I try to pin point the cause and go after that one thing. For instance, is the house a wreck? Am I feeling overwhelmed trying to get school work done in a house that needs a good cleaning? If so, it is time to take a day or two of "home ec" classes and put things in order. Sometimes I feel burned out because I haven't been able to eat one meal uninterrupted all day. Then it is time to be loving but firm and recapture this time for myself.
2. Simplify meals.
Cereal can work for dinner Butter bread and cheese sticks and apple slices can be lunch. Frozen pizza can be a good thing. Not having to strain my brain over what to eat can be a big relief.
3. Pray more.
Many things I can't fix myself. Sometimes I assign myself "lines"... writing out "Jesus, I trust in you!" twenty times. It helps!
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
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knowloveserve
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| Posted: March 01 2012 at 10:16am | IP Logged
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I should amend my #1 to clarify: do all subjects that can't be done independently first!
Nice tips all... 
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Ellie
The Bleeding Pelican
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setonmom
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one thing I've learned is that when things are tough, instead of gritting your teeth and suffering through it, suffer through it in a different way by asking to God to help you to grow in the way He wants you to grow through this particualr cross.
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Helen
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Ellie began this thread with three very strong points which lead away from the breaking point. I have to say that Mary's points spoke most to me . It has been a tough couple of months. 
I have found that it is very important for me to ask for help. Help can come in many different forms.
For example, i didn't know that my insurance company pays for a nurse to come a few days a week to help my daughter with her vesting treatment. I didn't know until I asked for help.
Support is another crucial piece for me in moving away from the breaking point. I believe that I can live the life that God gave me but there are moments when life can feel very heavy and lonely. Support came come from anywhere really. I have felt supported when the professionals in my life speak kindly of my children. I even felt supported by the Kcup machine I bought one weekend in anticipation of ny husband's week long business trip.
Grace builds on nature. Prayer is the bedrock of moving towards God and the ultimate Help and Support for moving away from the breaking point. But if the human person is weakened through labor and hardships, the physical body must experience recuperation to be able to pray with great attention and ability. God is still there. God is always there for us but God doesn't need sleep or food. We do.
Thank you for this thought provoking thread.
I miss you all!
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Ave Maria!
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Angie Mc
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HELEN!!! I miss you too .
Love,
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Angie Mc
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MommyMahung
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This is a great thread. I needed to see this one. I let myself get so frustrated when I don't cover everything I have planned with the kids. Then my hubby gets on my case too sometimes asking me what I'm doing why the kids aren't get all the subjects done. I feel like my kids are ahead of their peers who are in school, but then we meet up with homeschooled peers and I feel like my kids are sooooooo behind and it's all my fault.
I definitely have to stop more and just be with my kids. I made this declaration to them at the beginning of last week and so far so good. They are more at ease and aren't shouting/misbehaving as much as they used to and I feel more relaxed.
I don't have much to contribute to this conversation, but I am definitely taking from it!
Thanks Ladies and God Bless all of you!
Laura
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Jenn Sal
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Nothing to add other than some comic relief....my 2 1/2 yo daughter is running around the house singing a song. She keeps repeating, "Messy home. Messy home. Messy home. Hum, hum. hum. Messy home." She came up with it all by herself. Isn't that great!
This topic is great!
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Jennifer, Texas
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Angie Mc
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Jenn Sal wrote:
Nothing to add other than some comic relief....my 2 1/2 yo daughter is running around the house singing a song. She keeps repeating, "Messy home. Messy home. Messy home. Hum, hum. hum. Messy home." She came up with it all by herself. Isn't that great!
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She's WELL above average  .
Love,
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Angie Mc
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Angie Mc
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MaryM wrote:
| So, I guess "(1)curl up in the fetal position in bed, (2)with a box of dark chocolate and (3)listen to ABBA" wouldn't be productive advice to offer? |
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As long as you're listening to ABBA's Greatest Hits then THAT'S productive advice!
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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herdingkittens
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knowloveserve wrote:
I should amend my #1 to clarify: do all subjects that can't be done independently first!
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We started doing the same thing here this year and it has been a game changer. It works for these reasons:
- I tend to have the most energy first thing after breakfast (COFFEE!! ), so I am more likely to be excitable and patient at that time.
- The baby is happy milling about in the morning (more clingy in the afternoon - so I can do one on one with him nursing/on lap/etc easier later on).
-The children are fresh in the morning!
- It is nice to begin the day with the "fun" stuff (activities/projects/etc)
In a pinch, the solo work can easily be done:
-in the car
-at the library (winter change of pace!!)
-during quiet hour
-on the couch in the evening (if things really got behind)
-tomorrow
This is a great post. This Lent I have been hearing God tell me to SLOW DOWN and CONNECT with the people in my life. These great tips really move me more in that direction.
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my peeps: girl('02), boy('03), girl('05), twin boys ('07), boy ('11) and sweet baby boy ('13)
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Topic: Top 3 Tips for the Overwhelmed
