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LML22
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| Posted: April 25 2011 at 12:57pm | IP Logged
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Not sure where to put this. I am ready to give up homeschooling. I have done this a long time and the last two years have been terrible. So dh wants me to put our 4 children in Catholic school. I was set to do this after checking the school out. But I just found out that this church has the kids do liturgical dance once in a while for Mass, and that the priest does not do valid confessions. (we recently went and he does not say the correct absolution prayers) So, I feel like I have no options. Public school is out because it is awful here. I can't just have a relaxed year because some of mine are getting older and dh wants planned schooling being done. I am depressed and overwhelmed and feel forced to homeschool. Any advice and prayers welcome.
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: April 25 2011 at 1:05pm | IP Logged
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what about some of the online programs where you aren't the teacher, they're accountable to someone else, you just supervise? That might give you the outside teachers but without some of those disadvantages.
__________________
Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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mwittlans
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| Posted: April 25 2011 at 1:24pm | IP Logged
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I think that first you need to get to the root of the problem. What is it in the last 2 years that has changed? Simply burnout? Move? Financial problems? High school?
I hate the thought of you feeling like you have no other choice but to homeschool. We need to help you find the joy in homeschooling again.
I think first you need to pray deep and hard about this decision. Take it before the Blessed Sacrament. If you have an Adoration Chapel close by I suggest going. Pray a novena with your husband and children asking God to lead your decision.
Then maybe write down all the reasons you chose homeschooling all those years ago. Reflect on the graces that it brought to you and your family. After you've written it all out, save it, put it in a special place and then reflect on it during your prayer time. Perhaps even make the list before the Blessed Sacrament.
After that, I would start looking for local homeschool support. Co-ops? Private tutor? Sports? Clubs?
Maybe pick up a homeschool book or two that you haven't read yet. There are a couple of new ones out.
Jodie mentioned online classes. I run an online school but I need to know your kids ages to give advice there.
But first, again, I think you need to identify what has changed in your life in the past couple of years to change your feelings about homeschooling. If it's a medical problem like depression then getting the right therapy can help. If it's added children or children entering high school then the answer may be getting a part-time housekeeper or a part-time tutor (cheaper that Catholic school tuition). And so on.
Praying for you!
Blessings,
Maureen :)
http://homeschoolconnections.com/
http://homeschoolconnectionsonline.blogspot.com/
http://twitter.com/homeschoolcnnct
http://www.facebook.com/homeschoolconnections
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RyaneM
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| Posted: April 25 2011 at 1:58pm | IP Logged
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Maureen gave you good suggestions so I won't add anything except to tell you that you will be in my prayers. 
__________________
Ryane in NY 
Mama to ds (3/05), ds(1/09) and dd (4/10)
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Dove
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| Posted: April 25 2011 at 3:27pm | IP Logged
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I too will be praying for you.
I can also second the idea of a tutor part time. My son had a tutor for physics and calculus and the price was reasonable.
But there are helps out there. Kahn Academy does math and science videos online FREE (multiple grades). MIT has a lot of basic science courses online--also FREE. (with my budget free is very very very attractive!) These are student paced and do not require much effort except for recording that they did them.
Teach reading, writing, and art as components of unit studies--just do what is interesting then record what was done and with what materials. I found that doing the learning and recording which things fit into which subjects AFTER took a lot of stress off.
Home School co-ops can be fun and relieve stress.
I'll be praying for you, I know how it feels to be swamped and emotionally drained and wondering how to survive.
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Angie Mc
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| Posted: April 25 2011 at 5:16pm | IP Logged
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Oh, I hope you can find relief! My first thought is to consider reframing your situation. Ask open-ended questions, look for "yeses", and beg for God to find an open door or window for you and your family.
Here are some questions that I (or our family) have asked over the years that have helped.
What are the strengths of each option we have available?
Is there a way to combine the best of different options?
If money wasn't an issue, what would we choose? Can we find the money somehow for a more expensive option? Can we find a less expensive version?
What are the most important principles that help me to be happy in my work?
Am I avoiding distored thinking, like
1. All-or-nothing thinking
2. Overgeneralization
3. Mental filter
4. Disqualifying the positive
5. Jumping to conclusions - Mind reading and Fortune/Future telling
6. Magnification and Minimization - Catastrophizing
7. Emotional reasoning
8. Should statements
9. Labeling and Mislabeling
10. Personalization
I'm praying for you, and including your intentions as we prepare for Divine Mercy Sunday .
Love,
__________________
Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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LML22
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| Posted: April 27 2011 at 6:42am | IP Logged
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I am dealing with depression. I have tried several meds over the last year (started off trying the natural route) and no help so far. I have a very difficult, rebellious 18 year old that is compounding problems. He is finishing up his homeschool career. He is causing me great stress because he has abandoned the faith and joining the world because he says he has been lonely because of homeschooling. So, that doesn't really help. The other 4 I am considering putting in school will be elementary and one in middle school.
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Dove
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| Posted: April 27 2011 at 8:54am | IP Logged
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LML22 wrote:
| I am dealing with depression. I have tried several meds over the last year (started off trying the natural route) and no help so far. I have a very difficult, rebellious 18 year old that is compounding problems. |
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Depression makes everything harder.
It seems the big school problem is the 18 year old. His father and you need to make a plan but here are the things I would do with him:
First, at 18, he is an adult; he has power over his attitudes and actions, but YOU have NO POWER over his attitudes and actions, therefore, you are not at fault for HIS issues.
Recite often, "My son's choices are not my fault." (They do guilt trips on mom--but honestly, at 18 you have NO control over him and therefore his attitudes and actions are NOT YOUR FAULT.)
Send the 18 year old to the public school or to a class to go take his GED exam.
The 18 year old is an adult so send him out to work long hours anywhere--two jobs maybe since part time work seems to be all that is available--so that he is OUT all day.
He is also old enough to enlist.
NO mother should have to deal with an adult son causing trouble at home.
As for the depression, tell the doctor the meds are a bust and ask him to find something that works. But even the right medicine takes time to work and the medicine will not solve the problem of an ADULT son rebelling and disrupting the household.
Working medication and sending the adult son out into the world to learn what God has to teach him there may make the rest of home school easier.
At least that is my $.02 worth.
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Angie Mc
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| Posted: April 27 2011 at 12:14pm | IP Logged
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You definitely have a puzzle to put together! My first thoughts are to *streamline/prioritize* and *get strong*.
Using one piece of the puzzle as an example, I call it the "bully vicitim" challenge. This is when a teen (or anyone for that matter, but teens are notorious for this) acts like a bully one minute (pushes others around) and is a victim the next (blames others for his situation.) If you are depressed, because like Dove said everything is harder, you are more likely to "dance" with him...when he is a bully you are more likely to feel sorry for yourself...when he is a victim you are more likely to feel guilty. Someone needs to change the dance - and that someone is most likely you because you are the more experience adult.
To change this dance, consider streamlining and prioritizing. One way is to give all responsibility/oversight for your ds to your dh. Part of this can be to have a written contract/consequences with him, so that all involved know what to expect. This will give you more time to take care of yourself, mother/teach your younger children, and problem solve this puzzle. Oh, and you might want to check out Love Notes for Teens (linked in my sig too) as a way to encourage you.
To get strong, consider streamlining your spiritual life. Daily, get up early and say a morning offering, pray a rosary, and do some spiritual reading. Pray the Angelus at noon. Pray an examination of conscience at night.
To get strong, spend time on your physical needs. I know its hard but there is no way around (and believe me I have tried) needing to eat as well as possible, sleep, and exercise. Sorry! I'm with you if you hate this piece of the puzzle!
To get strong emotionally, continue your work with your doc to find the correct med for you AND consider therapy and/or spiritual direction. I can't stress enough the benefits of talking with someone IRL who is detached and able to be supportive! Community Health Educator, Nancy Schimelpfening, summarizes:
Quote:
| Depending upon the severity of your depression and other symptoms and factors, therapy alone, medication alone, or therapy combined with medications may be recommended by your doctor. In some circumstances, a combination of medication and therapy will be most effective. Antidepressants are usually used to treat more severe symptoms and help correct the chemical imbalance within the brain that contributes to symptoms of depression. Psychotherapy can help in a variety of ways, including altering negative thought patterns which lead to depression, and helping you understand and cope more effectively with the conflicts and stressors in your life that contribute to depression. |
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Here's another topic where I shared ideas for how to streamline. There, I mention the need to reward yourself. Rewards, when used well, can bring relief, lightness, and perspective.
I'm really proud of you! Look at all you are willing to take on! It is wise of you to reach out for help . You can do it! I'm praying for you mightily  .
Love,
__________________
Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: stuck, no options
