Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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SeaStar
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Posted: July 29 2010 at 11:33am | IP Logged Quote SeaStar

I was watching the Charlotte Mason Books and Things Seminar last night, and Sonya Shafer talked about "the phrase that you put on the end on any negative comment: YET".

For example, your child says: I can't draw like that/ride my bike/do that kind of math problem.

And you say: Yet.

So "I can't draw like that" becomes "I can't draw like that- yet".
What a nice way to handle this type of situation, turning a negative to a positive.

That got me thinking... what other words can we use to encourage our children that quickly change a negative to a positive?


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Angie Mc
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Posted: July 29 2010 at 12:04pm | IP Logged Quote Angie Mc

Yes + as soon as

If a child asks, "Can I go out to play?", instead of saying, "No, do your work," say "Yes, as soon as you finish your work."

Love,



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Angie Mc
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Posted: July 30 2010 at 10:30am | IP Logged Quote Angie Mc

The Sandwich

If a child doesn't make his bed properly, instead of saying, "That's not right", *sandwich* the corrective measure,

"I can see that you did a good job lining up your stuffed animals on the bed. The spread needs some straightening. You sure are getter better at making your bed." (Then expect the child to straighten the spread or help him to do so.)

Love,

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guitarnan
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Posted: July 30 2010 at 10:39am | IP Logged Quote guitarnan

It's also helpful to make a list of positive words that apply to temperament traits - not only can you reinforce your child's positive self-image, you can use these words to redirect negative criticism from adults.

"Stubborn" becomes "persistent," for example. I remember my son's teacher's jaw dropping when I responded to her, "He's so stubborn!" comment with, "Yes, he's indeed persistent. He really sticks to a task. I know it's hard to handle now, but think of what a great employee he'll make when he's older!"


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JodieLyn
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Posted: July 30 2010 at 10:54am | IP Logged Quote JodieLyn

Focus on the child not on others helps so much here. We have situations (mainly swimming) where some kids perform better than others and age order is not necessarily relevent.

But I can compare to the child.. wow look at that you knocked a whole second off your time. Or wow look at how well you just swam that.. that was so much better than the last meet. I don't have to bring up how they're showing against others at all unless it's a positive thing.

I also can point out to one child who tends to go for perfect strokes over speed that it's a wonderful thing to do and she's absolutely a pleasure to watch swim (and I'm not the only one who's told her that) but I can encourage her to increase her speed a little now that she's got the stroke. But still be positive about how she does things even if it's different from the others.

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guitarnan
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Posted: July 30 2010 at 11:02am | IP Logged Quote guitarnan

We do that with dance, too, Jodie. It can be discouraging to see friends place frequently when you're not doing that - but seeing improvement over last year and last competition is always encouraging.

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