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EmilyC
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| Posted: Dec 16 2009 at 10:12am | IP Logged
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Over the past year or so, I've let the video game playing get out of hand. When I was pregnant and exhausted, it was easier to just let them play than to think of other things for them to do. Then, with the new baby, again, it was easier to just let them play.
One of my twins wants to become a video game designer when he grows up. Dh thinks that he therefore should have unlimited game playing as long as he gets his school work done. What I see is that my twins have no interest in anything other than video games. Their attention spans for anything not video game related are extremely short, and all I hear everyday is "I'm bored! Can I get out my DS?" or "There's nothing to do, can I play the Wii?"
I don't want to be the bad guy and just take them away (though they're the first thing to go when we have discipline issues), but I do want to set limits and get the boys doing other things. How would you address this issue? What kind of limits would you set?
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Emily,
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MrsM
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| Posted: Dec 16 2009 at 10:26am | IP Logged
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We have a time limit at our house. Twenty minutes of video games per day, and they use a timer. I allow them to spend more time playing the active games on Wii, and on weekends they get thirty minutes of video game time.
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Lynn in California
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mom2mpr
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| Posted: Dec 16 2009 at 10:54am | IP Logged
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We got a hand me down Playstation this year. I am one of those really natural types who would live fine without TV, video games, etc.
Oh, but not my DSL. 
I'd love to have only wood toys, etc. Dh however is totally opposite. Anyhow, the rules we have for playing are-
Schoolwork must be completed.
Jobs must be done.
AND,
you must have played outside for at least 30 minutes.
Most days, we don't have time to play the video games
We do slip into video mode occasionally and I need to bring us back to reality and it can be hard. They WILL find something to do--they are kids!! Implement your limits and give it a week, I think they will figure things out.
Also, since dh is so different in this regard I have found that life is different when he is home. There is TV and video games, etc. But, from 7am to 6pm when I am on, it runs by the rules. I have a school and household to run!
Anne
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jenk
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We use a ticket system (though I've been slacking on it lately  ).
I printed and laminated 30 minute "screen time tickets" that count for TV or video games and 15 minute Wii tickets only to be used with Wii(because those games are more active). We keep them in envelopes pinned to a cork board (each boy has his own envelope then there's a "used" envelope).
I'd have to go add up the exact amount of time they are allotted each week but it's somewhere around 4 hours per week total. If we watch a family movie that's a freebie and they can "ride" on each others tickets for tv shows too so they can end up with more that 4 hours a week actual screen time.
I pass out tickets on Monday, to be used after school and on weekends (video games are primarily a weekend activity around here). IF they have any tickets left over on Sunday evening, I'll pay them $1 per 30 minute ticket and $.50 for the 15 minute ones.
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Jen
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Maddie
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| Posted: Dec 16 2009 at 12:51pm | IP Logged
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We have a Pac-man thing that plugs into the TV and a few computer games but I've never liked video games. My kids will play when they visit some friends a few states away every 4 months or so, but other then that they can play what we have for 45 minutes each, every two months. I think it will be hard to wean them, so maybe you could post an advance warning like: As of January 1st, video games will be limited to 30 mintes a week (or whatever you decide). Any whining/pestering will automatically reduce your time.
Then you could explain why you want to limit the video games.
My kids fall into the too many movies binges. I have to post the notice here that movies will be limited to 1 a week as of January 1. They ordered every Bob Hope, Jane Powell, and Jimmy Stewart movie from the library and are watching them one after the other... 
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Willa
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| Posted: Dec 16 2009 at 5:12pm | IP Logged
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I think it helps to set certain hours when a kid can play. Then they aren't just opting out of every bored moment by thinking of VGs.
My DH is a video game designer and so is my eldest son so VGs are part of our family culture. We have quite a lot of them around the house. I could easily live without them myself but then I am not a boy!
What I do is -- I set a time in the late afternoon after schoolwork, outside time and jobs are done when they are allowed either to watch a video or play a game. I plan the screen time to end just before dinner so there is a natural break-point.
They are not allowed to complain or say they are bored after they finish up -- that's part of the deal of being allowed to play.
Before that, we had two afternoons a week when they were allowed to play after everything was done. I like the daily way better because it gives them a motivation to have everything done by the afternoon.
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Willa
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onemoretracy
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We have a rule, no video games during the school week. They can play on the weekends and vacation time.
They have to earn the time though. We began with having them earn time by reading. Read for 30 min.=15 min screen time. We have varied it with special equal time earnings and free time for special occasions like when friends are over. Now I have a son who is a fast and ferocious reader so we switched it up for him and gave him another goal that we felt was equally challenging for him as reading was for his siblings. He exercises (pushups, pullups running around the cul-de-sac) for time.
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Erin
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| Posted: Dec 17 2009 at 2:50pm | IP Logged
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Emily
I so sympathise  we need to pull our socks up again too.
I've used various ideas over the years such as mentioned above but they didn't work for us for a couple of reasons.
The one hour a day didn't work because it was always "But I'm nearly at the next level" and also I was/am too easy going Plus daddy argued their case.
How we do it now works best. On a Friday afternoon, if they have done all their schoolwork for the week they have 'screen time' from lunch till 5pm. This includes DVD, play station and computer. One big burst, really it is a big family party. They are happy, I'm happy, it's over and done in one go.
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Paula in MN
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| Posted: Dec 19 2009 at 6:35am | IP Logged
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We don't have any video games. The kids ask, however they have games at Dads!
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melanie
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| Posted: Dec 19 2009 at 2:29pm | IP Logged
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Ah...timely. We are getting a Wii for Christmas and I'm trying to think about the rules I want in place now. This will be our first video game system, though we've had some plug-in tv games and a few computer games. Our rules have changed over the years, but right now it's been that the games are for weekends and vacations (we have short vacations too) only. We have had more complicated rules and systems, but for us this latest seems to be best because my 9yo would argue daily about the games otherwise and tends to be very obsessive about them. The games can be played on Saturday after their Saturday cleaning chores are done, and they can be played on Sunday after mass and lunch/rest time. We don't do games after dinner...too much battle to wrench them away for bedtime.
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melanie
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| Posted: Dec 19 2009 at 2:34pm | IP Logged
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Oh, I also meant to say, with the boredom factor...
My 9yo is actually my nephew. He's been with us for 3 years, and before living here he came from a home where he literally played video games *every waking moment* on several different systems. He was/is majorly obsessed with them and had no ability to entertain himself at all in any way. It was extremely irritating for us all when he moved into our comparatively low-tech household. It was difficult for a long time, but he's gotten better at entertaining himself. Boredom forces them to find something to do.  He still isn't great at it...he follows me around restlessly a lot. But he has developed some untechie hobbies (reading comics, legos, board games whenever he can get someone to play with him). But he's still bored a lot. I minimize the whining pretty well though. Anyone who whines about being bored is quickly given something to do, 
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Melanie
homeschooling Maria (13yo), Kain (10yo), Jack (5yo), Tess (2yo), and our newest blessing, Henry Robert, born 4/23!
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Natalia
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| Posted: Dec 19 2009 at 7:03pm | IP Logged
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When we got a Wii for Christmas last year I ask a similar question in this thread
Our rules are:
The Wii doesn't come on during the school week
TV and computer games are not allowed until after five
Unless we watch something as a family, I try to limit total screen time (computer,tv and video games) to no more than an hour a day for each child.
These rules are more for the benefit of my 7yo than my 12 yo, who seem to self regulate pretty well.
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drmommy
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My 17 year old is addicted to World of Warcraft, and I was one of the moms too tired after work to do much about it. Now, he is on the computer all the time. The computer is in our kitchen...that is the deal. I have taken the plugs, but for the most part I am secretly glad he is home. He does go out, but he stays home much more than if we didn't have the video games. The southern California lure of worldliness is always calling him, so I feel guilty for sometimes thinking that I am glad he is playing.
Now, the girls like BuildABear...which I use as a"carrot" to dangle. After their schoolwork, chores, piano, sewing, and outdoor chores are done, THEN they can play on the computer. I got smarter this time around..they never have time to play on it. When they do, it is a super treat.
We have no tv, only dvds which they have to earn the right to watch, so computer time is special. I just wish I would have cracked that whip better instead of dealing with a 17 year old 6 foot 250 pound child...who is actually a great kid and does everything else "right". I guess I have to pick my battles!!!
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melanie
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| Posted: Dec 21 2009 at 10:12am | IP Logged
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"so I feel guilty for sometimes thinking that I am glad he is playing."
I can understand this. We had a time where we were having a really difficult time with some neighborhood kids. Eventually we had to break off their friendships with these kids, and now they have moved , but in the meantime I basically let the game thing go. I was glad to have them here playing the games together than worrying about these kids....
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Melanie
homeschooling Maria (13yo), Kain (10yo), Jack (5yo), Tess (2yo), and our newest blessing, Henry Robert, born 4/23!
slightlycrunchycatholic.blogspot.com
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Kathryn
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| Posted: Dec 21 2009 at 4:32pm | IP Logged
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I don't have much advice. My son would like to move from his DS, to a game on the computer to the tv. Sighhhh... We don't have any X-box, Playstation, Wii or any of those video games so no problem there. He just doesn't pick up a book or do crafty stuff like his sister. He's no longer interested really in his legos, sandbox, trains or cars. He does play outside a lot on his bike and just exploring but if the weather's too bad, he'll want to "park it" in front of some "electronic mean" as I call it. There is no hard and fast rule for time but I do try to restrict although prob. not as much as a lot of people. Honestly I could sit in front of the tv alll day! Amazingly though, I also read a LOT too so I'm just hoping someday that will rub off on him. We at least try to make a lot of the electronic stuff somewhat valuable w/ educational games or shows.
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Shell
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| Posted: Dec 22 2009 at 12:26pm | IP Logged
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We have one TV and all the stuff plugs into that; DVD player, son's xbox thingy. Rules are no TV during school time at all. And then the screen must be shared at other times between adults and the little ones-so this automatically cuts down vid game time for my son who likes them.
I have not really done time rules but expect stuff to be switched off when I ask.
We have a lot of Lego and other construction type toys around and craft things that the children are encouraged to use.
My 18 yr old wants to go into the video gaming industry too and is working hard to that end. His art work deadlines are cutting down his play time a LOT 
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MicheleQ
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| Posted: Dec 22 2009 at 10:08pm | IP Logged
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I hate the things --HATE them and if it were my choice we would not have ANY. But it's not my choice so I deal with it and we limit it.
I don't have time at the moment to detail why I hate the things so much but I'll try to find some time to elaborate later.
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: Dealing with video games
