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time4tea
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| Posted: Oct 06 2009 at 11:25am | IP Logged
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Hi Everyone,
We are in our fourth week of school and I am burning out - again. My two oldest (in 11th and 9th) are not the problem. The oldest is cross-registered with the local community college and doing very well and the 9th grader is a real self-starter and works well on his own. It is the middle two in 4th and 1st/2nd, plus the soon to be 26 month old toddler where it is all getting pretty hairy.
The 4th grader is my biggest and most formidable challenge. While she is mildly dyslexic, a lot of her academic problems are more due to a lack of motivation and interest - a lack of seeing whats in it for her - than from her disability. Currently, she is using mostly CHC materials (with the exception of Social Studies, for which I am following DYOCC guidelines instead), and I have to hold her hand in order to get her to complete even one simple thing. It is very draining. I have no time to work with the 1st/2nd grader or spend time playing and snuggling with the toddler. It is very hard and very discouraging. Every day it's like pulling teeth to get even the simplest assignment done and I am at the end of my rope with it already.
In the past, we have spent hundreds (really more like thousands) of dollars on curriculum trying to find just the right fit for the kids, but this year we just cannot spend another dime on curriculum. I have to make what I've already got here work. I have a lot of stuff on hand, from Five in a Row to MODG/DYOCC to CHC to even some Seton and OLVS. What I am in short supply of right now is energy (the toddler is teething and not sleeping well at night, so I do not get a full night's sleep ever at this point), and patience (I am often tired and grumpy because of lack of sleep and the fight to get the schoolwork done during the day).
To be honest, dh has suggested putting the two girls into the local public school, but I don't want to. Our older two attended the local public school here for awhile during elementary and it was horrible, both academically and otherwise. I just don't know what to do. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired and feeling as if my kids are not making any - or only the most minimal - academic progress. I am tired of feeling as if every day runs into the next as I try to meet everyone's needs and be everything to everyone. I want to make homeschooling work for our family. Please tell me how I can do that and regain and maintain my sanity. Looking forward to your suggestions 
__________________
Blessings to you!
~Tea
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Oct 06 2009 at 11:32am | IP Logged
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Tea, I read your post and thought this sounds a lot like another one.. and so it does.. How Do You Respond to Complaints
I just posted there about using a calender. For whatever reason it seems to help my kids do what they need to do with less input from me. I think part of it is just that ability to "see the light at the end of the tunnel". That there is a finite amount of work to be done. When they've been dragging it out, they may feel like there's no point in working because there's just more work to do. And having those written out so that they can see the end, motivates them.
__________________
Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Paula in MN
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| Posted: Oct 06 2009 at 11:43am | IP Logged
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JodieLyn wrote:
| For whatever reason it seems to help my kids do what they need to do with less input from me. I think part of it is just that ability to "see the light at the end of the tunnel". That there is a finite amount of work to be done. When they've been dragging it out, they may feel like there's no point in working because there's just more work to do. And having those written out so that they can see the end, motivates them. |
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I agree completely with Jodie. My dd10 has a list every day of the lessons she needs to do. She knows she needs to get them done before anything else - friend visits, etc. It's up to her how quickly she gets them done.
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 Paula
A Catholic Harvest
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cvbmom
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| Posted: Oct 06 2009 at 12:41pm | IP Logged
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I agree on the checklist/calendar idea. It has worked WONDERS with my dd (10) and ds (9). They know what has to be done and do it. It may take all day or just the morning, that's up to them - NOT me! We do some things together, but they know it up front. After 2 weeks of settling into this, we are FINALLY seeing the fruits of it. I used to think that lists would overwhelm them or were too much work for me. That's not the case AT ALL! I have a template that I print out each week and then fill in the daily stuff each morning (a 5 minute task). I hand over the list and off they go. It's VERY freeing so I can do work with dd (6) and dd (5) as well as play with (or clean up after  ) ds (3), dd (2), and dd (1).
The one key, that I have had trouble with, is remembering that the time it takes IS up to them. I can't (and shouldn't) keep reminding about time. That is too stressful for me and DOESN'T motivate them AT ALL! If they don't finish, THEY miss out on things. If it's something we NEED to do (an appointment or something for another child), I either adjust the daily amount of work, they bring their work along, or we do the activity and they must finish their work afterward (or in extreme cases, the next day).
The other key is to make sure that the work I assign is actually do-able in a reasonable amount of time with a reasonable amount of effort.
Maybe this helps?
God bless,
Christine
__________________
Wife to dh - 18 years!
Mom to dd (16), ds (15), dd, (12), dd (11), ds (9), dd (8), dd (7), ds (5), dd (3), ds (2), and ds (1)
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stellamaris
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| Posted: Oct 06 2009 at 1:18pm | IP Logged
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Dear Tea, I only can say I understand truly what you are experiencing and I will offer up my day for you today. Sometimes all the best ideas and curricula aren't able to solve the problems we face with special learners. I have learned that the biggest obstacles are inside my own head; when I can overcome my own fear, anger, and resentment, I can make some progress and at least feel more positive about what we are doing. I will pray that you will get all the help and insight you need to resolve your difficult situation. 
__________________
In Christ,
Caroline
Wife to dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
Flowing Streams
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Betsy
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| Posted: Oct 06 2009 at 1:38pm | IP Logged
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Tea,
I have similar ages to your younger three and we were having difficulties like this when we started this year in July.
We started using the workbox system and I have seen a huge change in my 4th graders attitude towards school. It is very visual system that they can work through at their own pace. Some of the advantages that we have seen is that they know exactly what work needs to be done in one day, if they take a break the can easily pick up where they left off, we have been getting through a lot more work more quickly, it has kept me on task correcting work and planning, and the best bonus is that it has taken the argument out of our daily assignments. Some how when ans assignment is in the box waiting it's more palatable then when MOM tells me to do it...so we have much lest arguing!!!! YEA!
When I first heard of it I didn't think I needed it or it would work for us...but it really has been that visual assignment notebook that I was looking for!
Betsy
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JuliaT
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| Posted: Oct 06 2009 at 2:03pm | IP Logged
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Tea, if your dd is mildly dyslexic, a written checklist may not work for her. Dyslexics have problems with organizing their time, having everything written on a list doesn't mean anything to them. My children are dyslexic and the checklist does not work. I have found, though, that the workboxes (when we were using them) worked very well. For some reason, seeing it all laid out in bags or boxes works better than having it written down.
Blessings,
Julia
mom of 3(10,8,6)
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Kathryn
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| Posted: Oct 06 2009 at 7:46pm | IP Logged
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Hello Tea,
You are waaay ahead of me in this homeschooling life b/c I'm in my 5th week (1st year) of homeschooling and it's been about the most difficult transition EVER! I have basically scaled back to reading and math for my 3rd grade son who I have the most difficulties with (and sounds identical to your 4th grader). We signed up with Seton and I was trying to follow their plans and literally had a stomach ache for 3 solid weeks! After I've scaled back to allow myself time to grow in this new endeavor, I've realized exactly what he needs right now (and me) are the BASICS...reading and math. That does sometimes include some spelling, some english, some phonics but that's my focus. Soo, as a very newbie homeschooler, the advice I would offer (since your story sounds a lot like mine) is to find what she HAS to do to get you thru this time and then build from there. Plus I have tried to add more read-alouds and we've done a couple of field trips to cover "history" and "science" and then we just talk about those but no worksheets, nothing mandatory, just talking.
Oh...and I did make a daily/weekly schedule today that lists allllll his subjects but there's only about 3 things with an asterik that he HAS to do every day (before playing, before tv, before Nintendo, before friends come home). We'll see how this works. Oh and it's math, reading, religion.
Your 2nd paragraph could literally have been written by me so hopefully my couple of ideas help.
__________________
Kathryn in TX
(dd 16, ds 15, dd 8, dd 5)
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rose gardens
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| Posted: Oct 07 2009 at 11:02am | IP Logged
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time4tea wrote:
We are in our fourth week of school and I am burning out - again. ...The 4th grader is my biggest and most formidable challenge. While she is mildly dyslexic, a lot of her academic problems are more due to a lack of motivation and interest - a lack of seeing whats in it for her - than from her disability. Currently, she is using mostly CHC materials (with the exception of Social Studies, for which I am following DYOCC guidelines instead), and I have to hold her hand in order to get her to complete even one simple thing. It is very draining. I have no time to work with the 1st/2nd grader or spend time playing and snuggling with the toddler. It is very hard and very discouraging. Every day it's like pulling teeth to get even the simplest assignment done and I am at the end of my rope with it already.
...To be honest, dh has suggested putting the two girls into the local public school, but I don't want to. Our older two attended the local public school here for awhile during elementary and it was horrible, both academically and otherwise. I just don't know what to do. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired and feeling as if my kids are not making any - or only the most minimal - academic progress. I am tired of feeling as if every day runs into the next as I try to meet everyone's needs and be everything to everyone. I want to make homeschooling work for our family. Please tell me how I can do that and regain and maintain my sanity. Looking forward to your suggestions |
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I don't know if I have any good suggestions, but I offer you my prayers.
My 8 yo shows signs of being at risk for dyslexia, and I completely sympathize with you. It's very difficult because we're not just trying to be teachers-we're trying to be a special education teacher. Without a break. I understand your frustration. Lowering my expectations is probably what helps save my sanity. Plus, I've read everything I can find about dyslexia.
A couple of books on dyslexia that I have found most helpful and encouraging are "The Gift of Dyslexia" by Ronald Davis and "Why Our Children Can't Read" by Diane McGuinness. Maybe you can find them in your library--if not Amazon sells them used for cheap. Both books take different approaches to dyslexia, but both share the idea that just because someone is labled "dyslexic" doesn't mean they must suffer from it.
I understand your concerns that your child isn't trying hard enough--I've had the similar concerns about my own struggling learner--but from everything I read about learning disabilities, that typically isn't the problem unless the child looses hope and gives up. Children want to learn--they just don't always want to learn what we want them to learn or in the way that we want them to learn.
Prayers and hugs.
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melanie
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| Posted: Oct 07 2009 at 1:01pm | IP Logged
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I have a 9yo with similar issues. It's like pulling teeth, everything, right now. We are using workboxes, and he likes that, but I have also scaled way back on what I am doing right now with him. We have always used MODG, but I bought some CHC workbooks for him to use this year (Language of God, their spellers) and some Explode the Code, and I've been using the maps workbook and Let's Learn Music workbook that I bought to use a la MODG, as well as Handwriting Without Tears. We were using Abeka math, but he wasn't doing well with that and we are trying out Aleks for a month to see if that goes any better. We aren't doing any structured history or science or anything like that as part of his morning work...really, we are only doing the maps and music books because he likes them. Anyway, every day I put in his workboxes his math, Explode the Code, Language of God, spelling, and then either handwriting, maps, or music,,,just one, not all three...the other boxes are either non-seat work activities (play Magic School Bus cd-rom, watch Liberty's Kids dvd, jump on trampoline for 15 minutes) or fun stuff like coloring pages for our states notebook, that kind of thing. I am also doing a history-type read aloud in the evenings with him...right now we are reading through the Little House series.
I put the five workbooks early on in the workbox sequence to insure they get done, and he must work up until at least that point each school day before he can "be done". He can do most of this work, with some help here and there, while I work with my oldest in the mornings. Each subject is short...math takes 30 minutes, and he can finish each workbook assignment in 10 minutes if he concentrates. Of course, many mornings he does not, and this drags on all day with much wailing and gnashing of teeth.
I'm hoping to start working more on some rabbit-trail type science, history, and religion later this year...I'm just finishing up my first trimester ookiness and hadn't been doing anything I could avoid.  When we do, it'll be at our own pace, as we have time. I may try to move back to MODG for him in a couple of years, but for right now,,, we were at a breaking point and I was really burned out with him...it was either this or public school, seriously. It's better this way. We aren't knocking heads as much.
__________________
Melanie
homeschooling Maria (13yo), Kain (10yo), Jack (5yo), Tess (2yo), and our newest blessing, Henry Robert, born 4/23!
slightlycrunchycatholic.blogspot.com
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: Burning out, need help fast!
