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doris
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| Posted: Aug 06 2009 at 6:20pm | IP Logged
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I can't quite believe that I'm asking this question -- as a mother of four, home educating for four years -- but here goes.
How do I get *anything* done with a turbo-powered toddler in tow?
My littlest is 18 months old, and extremely adventurous. He wants to be off exploring most of the time. The house is reasonably toddler-proofed, but now that he's mastered dragging a chair over to the shelves to get at the high-up stuff, I begin to despair...
Art and craft activities are out unless he's asleep, because he wants to be getting involved in them. I've been reading people's blog posts about their lovely art supplies with a heavy heart, because I realise that there is no way that I could have our stuff out and accessible to the bigger ones, without the toddler getting involved.
Games and puzzles are similarly difficult because of the toddler's ability to be *everywhere* and his intense dislike of being thwarted...
Even readalouds are difficult because he wants to grab the book, sing or shout loudly in the background, or thrust his own choice of reading material under my nose...
He is extremely undistractible, preferring my stuff (phone, computer, diary, whatever) to any toy version. I'm still breastfeeding, but even that isn't much help as he won't feed while I'm reading aloud. (He's also still waking lots at night, which doesn't help me to approach this very creatively/positively.)
He goes through very cuddly phases of wanting to be held all the time (but all the while grabbing whatever is within range). He is big and heavy and I can do very little one-handed. (I've been advised not to use a sling/whatever because of back problems and other physical issues.) He goes through other phases of intense destructiveness, so I feel like I am clearing up after a tornado has been through the house.
I'm trying to plan for September, but half despairing as I realise that I am struggling even to get my own work (meals, laundry, admin, housekeeping) done at the moment, let alone any home ed. We seem to have been in survival mode since he was born, for one reason or another, and this just can't be right.
I should add lest this all seem too miserable that this little boy is the apple of my eye 
Sorry for the long and rambling post. Any ideas?
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Home educating in London, UK with dd (2000) ds (2002), dd (2004), ds (2008) and dd (2011).
Frabjous Days
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jdostalik
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| Posted: Aug 06 2009 at 7:05pm | IP Logged
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Well, Elizabeth. I am in a similar situation to yours, Today, my little one ransacked the guinea pig's cage while I did a bit of laundry. He terrorized our little rodent and then removed most of her bedding, food and other "stuff" kindly strewing it about all over my dd's room.  He did this in about 90 seconds flat...
I am just making it through the summer keeping up, too...How I will keep my sanity when it is time to begin school this fall? 
My plan? Well, I am hopeful that organizing special toys just for school for my little guy (a tried and true method)along with at least three structured 15 minutes block of supervised play with a different sibling each time will allow me to be available for those who need me. This will require a "schedule" of sorts and that has never been one of my strengths. 
I have a general routine to our schooldays but never had the inclination or need to micro-manage my days...now, I see that my mornings at least, will need to be pretty intense with a plan for the toddler which includes supervised outdoor play, indoor play and an occasional DVD when things get hairy...
I see that your two oldest might be able to entertain your little guy for a bit...and then, well, there's always nap time? Mine has pretty much given his up--last year when he was your son's age, that was when I got a lot of schooling done...it wasn't pretty but it worked...
Not much help, but know that I am praying for you--with much understanding and sympathy! 
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God Bless,
Jennifer in TX
wife to Bill, mom to six here on earth and eight in heaven.
Let the Little Ones Come
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LLMom
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| Posted: Aug 06 2009 at 9:45pm | IP Logged
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Oh, it is such a hard age to homeschool. When I had several toddlers/babies, we didn't do much read-a-louds, crafts, or hands on stuff. We did a lot of workbooks and outdoor stuff. Can your older two take turns watching/playing in a room near you so you can get something accomplished with someone else? We also used naps and evenings when dad was home. It is hard and the best thing I found was to give my dc lots of independent work so I could chase kiddos. Not exactly CM, but it was a season of our lives. Don't feel you have to do it all.
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Lisa
For veteran & former homeschool moms
homeschooling ideas
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Patty
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| Posted: Aug 06 2009 at 10:15pm | IP Logged
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BTDT! We have seven...the oldest is 25 and youngest will be 10 this fall, so I've been through many years of babies and toddlers who, wonderful as they are, present their own challenges. I've had quieter toddlers who would sit and play, and rambunctious into-everything toddlers like your little boy. Our youngest was extremely active. Sometimes we would spread a blanket in the backyard and do read alouds there, and let him roam around...of course we have a fenced yard.
I did have his "Special Box" of toys that he could play with only during school hours, and another big hit was his rice box. I bought a large, fairly flat plastic box with a lid, and filled it about 1/3 full of rice from the dollar store, then added plastic animals, cars and trucks, plastic cups for pouring, etc. It was like an indoor sandbox and he would sit in it and play for a LONG time. Yes, I did have to vacuum up rice, but it was worth it. We had two rules...don't eat it and don't throw it. Otherwise, it has to be put away.
Having the older children take turns with him is a great idea! They will love it and he probably will, too. We did this.
Get a big box for him to play in or drape a blanket over a table to give him his own secret hideout. My kids loved that, too, and would fill the place with their favorite toys, blankie, etc.
There is no perfect solution, and some days you will probably still be frustrated, but treasure these times because they pass QUICKLY.
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cornomama4
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| Posted: Aug 06 2009 at 11:49pm | IP Logged
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No real advice, but I'm right there with ya! My 2 y.o. has also learned how to unlock the front door and is obsessed with the neighbor's playset and trampoline. The neighbor is like 500 yds away! We're getting an additional lock to put up 6 feet high, BTW....
I'm still suprised by his antics daily as he does all the stuff they warn you about, but which my other 3 never did like putting everything off the floor in his mouth, climbing on things like shelves and tables, and now has taken to sticking things up his nose! And he has recenly developed the desire to bite and pinch the older kids when they are playing with him, so they are reluctant to "take a turn with baby". I'm working on this, but he won't be changing overnight!
This little guy is also the apple of my eye. He is the most affectionate of the 4, is so cute and sweet and funny, and is probably my last and I know this will all pass soon, but it is a challenge!
Your kids are about the same ages as mine ('00, '01, '05, '07) and my "attack plan" this year is low-key learning for the older kids, more books on tape for read alouds, and various outside teachers in co-op form (we're hosting the science/Montessori class chez nous for the 3rd year running!)
Mine also likes to bang and whack things, so he has some toys that are made to bang and whack..drums, hammering toys, etc., plus we try to be outside all we can which is easy where I live now on our farm. Of course he likes to squeeze the chickens and cats.....
I'm taking the 2 older ones camping tomorrow and leaving the 2 littles with dh. I find even a small amount of focused time with the older ones goes a long way. Dare I ask if yours would be "distracted" by a video or show? A few quite minutes sometimes outweighs my delusions to be TV free right now Good luck to you.
cm4
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Becky Le
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I am in the same boat x 2 this year and I have no real advice to offer as the last time I had a toddler I only had one child to homeschool and it was a breeze.
I'm hoping that using work boxes will help the older kids to be more independent so that I can focus on the toddlers when need be. My biggest concern is giving my K child enough time!
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Becky, loving wife to Chris and mom to Stephen (11/99), Elizabeth (04/01), Catherine (08/04), Natalie & Samantha (10/07)
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mooreboyz
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I find 18 mos to be one of the biggest challenge ages to hsing. I remember in the fall mine was crawling up on the tables all the time and wanting to do whatever his older bros were doing. This is when I started to get more creative using Montessori type work for him. I made him his own shelf in the school room and set up a little desk. I also put another shelf off the kitchen for when we were in that room and gave him his own cabinet with dishes and his own little table to set and eat at. Having his own work helped quite a bit...not just toys, but things he really needed to concentrate on.
Also, I learned that by doing things with the little guys first in the morning (story/dance/song/game/etc) that they stopped trying to get my attention while I worked for a while with the older ones.
And I saved more intense group study (history/geography/sciences) for during his naptime.
A great book is montessori from the start
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Jackie
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ekbell
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I had a whole message typed out and then my toddler managed to crash my browser
I do read-alouds when my husband is home to either take over the toddler or the reading and we normally do crafty type stuff that my oldest children can do alone (we have it set up so that the littles can be locked out of the craft area) or that can be done with toddlers (I've dressed the toddler in a smocklike bib, put him in a highchair with his own (washable)paint, paper and pre-damaged brush).
Older children have been recruited to watch over the toddler so that I could spend some time actually teaching another child without the toddler interfering.
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Lisa in WI
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| Posted: Aug 08 2009 at 9:22am | IP Logged
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My kiddos are all little (K age and under) but I'll be doing my best to include all of them in the schooling. We'll see how that works since this will be our first year trying to do more formal lessons. They are all hands-on learners so we have lots of hands-on curricula. Part of the plan includes something for youngest dd (18 months old) to do. We're also going to take lots of breaks for snacks, free time, or fun activities geared toward the toddler. My youngest is my calmest and most independent child, so I'm sure that will make things easier.
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mommy to E (9/04), O (3/06), C (1/08), & Baby (due January 2010)
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LucyP
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Not so long ago my daughter made me despair of being able to get anything done with our son - she is still a stunt baby, but at 28 mo she is loving being at the table with us, drawing, looking at books - and I never thought that time would come with her. It is so hard. I may never have another toddler again, but how mothers cope with educating with more than one toddler aged and maybe a new baby as well is beyond me. You ladies are heroes! I did a lot of crying and shrieking and giving up I'm afraid.
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Elena
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| Posted: Aug 08 2009 at 11:40am | IP Logged
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I rotate the older kids through their lessons and time with their little sister. In other words, when I am doing math with Izzy, Noah plays with Rosie. Then they switch. I have the teens take turns with their little sister as well and i work it right into the schedule. It's the only way I was able to get anything done from the toddler years to now!
Also, I might suggest if you can get the little one into a swimming class (probably a mom and tot class for now) it will take a lot of the energy out of him. Nothing burns out these little boys like some time in the water. My problem/ high energy boy started in the pool at age 4 and stayed in it until he graduated - it was the only thing that kept us both sane!
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Elena
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Angel
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| Posted: Aug 10 2009 at 7:03am | IP Logged
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Elizabeth,
I know what you mean when you say you read blogs about displaying materials "with a heavy heart". I *do* display our art materials, but I feel the same way about learning room posts with lots of hands-on stuff for little people anymore. I know that others say that if the toddler has his own "stuff", he'll be less likely to get into everybody else's... but, alas, that is not my experience with my children. What it means at my house is that a zillion stacking pieces have been scattered to the nine winds and the toddler is climbing the back of a ladder-back chair to reach the paint tubes.
All 3 of my latest set have been climbers, and the twins... oy. I think I've spent much of the last 3 years with every movable chair in the house flipped over. Some things that have helped me survive turbo-charged twins plus their younger brother, together...
*I try to have the older kids as independent as possible in their basics. That means we do use workbooks/textbooks, where they can just "do the next thing" if I am unavoidably detained. I guess it's a compromise, but on the other hand... independence is a good skill to learn.
*We don't spend hours reading aloud, but I have cultivated the ability to read REALLY LOUD over the roar of the crowd and with boys climbing all over my back. To make up for this, the older kids listen to a lot of audio books.
*I display many of our art materials in closed jars which cannot be opened by toddlers. They are clear so the materials can be seen, but they are still off-limits. Anything truly dangerous (like scissors and paint tubes) I either put in a locked cabinet, in a closet really too high to reach (even with a chair), or somewhere else too high to be reached by a toddler on a chair.
*I do try to let the toddler do art along with everybody else. He usually ends up tattooing himself with washable markers, but they wash, and as long as he's not biting off the felt tips (which he also does... sigh...), I'm ok with it. I don't give him water to paint with because he'll try to drink it, but my twins were happy for a while with one color of paint added to a jar of water and a paint brush to swish... but I had to be careful to end the session *before* they decided they needed to be rowdy. Otherwise, jars of paint and water would go everywhere. (Being able to read them has always been more art than science.)
Anyway, what I do with my current toddler's paint is to squish out tiny amounts of acrylic paint on a piece of paper and then spray the paper with water from a spray bottle. This keeps him happy for a few minutes until he decided he wants the spray bottle.
I've also found that colored pencils worked better for him than crayons and markers, both of which he would/will try to eat.
*I try to expect very little. If I *expect* a clean house, or for displays of small items to be left alone, or for an art session to go calmly, or to be able to read aloud in a normal tone of voice at lunch without little people standing up to dance on the bench and me having to rush them outside... I will be continually frustrated. But if I take a deep breath and remind myself that it all comes with the territory, then I do better.
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happymama
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it is helpful to me, to know that I'm not the only one with these struggles! Expecially since I love montessori so, so much - but have tried for 4 1/2 years unsuccessfully to make it work the way I want it to.
I think much good advice has been given in this thread, thank you. My husband comes home from work to find me frazzled, and says things like "just make the little 2 play in their bedroom for an hour while you're working with the older 2. I know they'll cry at first, but if you do it every day they will get used to it."
He's not much of an AP-style parent. 
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SuzanneG
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happymama wrote:
| My husband comes home from work to find me frazzled, and says things like "just make the little 2 play in their bedroom for an hour while you're working with the older 2. I know they'll cry at first, but if you do it every day they will get used to it." |
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This IS actually good advice.....if you dissect it, consider it, and make some variation of it work for you. Just because your child is spending a few minutes (or even an hour  ) in a crib (or other confined space) for a short amount of time doesn't make you a "non-AP parent".
ie: put baby in crib with toys, and then sit next to the crib and do schoolwork. At first, she's noisy, so we do things we don't need "quiet" for....board games, checking work, puppet shows, etc. After awhile she gets used to this routine and we can read aloud or do something that requires more quiet. We've also done it where the baby is in the crib, the toddler playing next to her on the floor, and we're in the hallway doing "school" where they can both see us.
We also do things while the baby/toddler is in the bathtub. It's our "bathroom-school."
There are all sorts of variations of this...depending on the age of child and what they like or don't like.
When mine are in this crazy-phase, I also backpack them a lot and read picture books or read alouds standing up.
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Suzanne in ID
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Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)
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doris
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| Posted: Aug 10 2009 at 4:20pm | IP Logged
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Thanks to all for the prayers, empathy and advice!
Some of this I have done in the past but forgot in my slightly addled state. In particular, I'm going to revive the rice box (and/or lentil heaven ) and remember to try to get some stuff done while a selection of people are in the bath.
Swimming is a great suggestion and I'll plan to go more often.
In confession on Saturday, Father reminded me that God is in charge! That needs to be my bottom line...
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Home educating in London, UK with dd (2000) ds (2002), dd (2004), ds (2008) and dd (2011).
Frabjous Days
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: Doing it with a toddler...
