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DeAnn M
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| Posted: Nov 03 2008 at 9:34am | IP Logged
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O.K. it's 10:00....what have we accomplished? Not so much. This may be too complicated to explain in detail, so I'll just give you some pithy bullet points of life right now then ask my question after the attempt at describing life.
*Have 6 children (ages infant to 10) including a 3-month-old who is not yet sleeping through the night and I'm not so good functioning on little sleep.
*Have tried to ease into this school year...which basically means that I haven't stuck to a regular, full routine of school and chores...NOR have I done any extra, fun stuff with the kids..or Latin, Spanish or anything besides Reading, Math, a little History.
*These are not so pithy...sorry
*It's 10:00 and so far, I have a half-cleaned school room and children who are half cleaning, half playing, and half fighting. Breakfast dishes undone...and I'm still in my jammies. I'm sure some of you will be horrified by this scene and frankly, it's embarrassing to confess, but I'm getting desperate.
*I tend to be a perfectionist...not the kind that is actually Mary Poppins perfect, but the kind that chooses not to do something if I cannot do it perfectly, or close to it. Maybe subconsciously I'm thinking that the day is shot if I can't get going early, so that makes it hard to get started at all.
*I'm considering ditching everything today and going to a Nature Club meeting at 12:00 but I feel incredibly guilty for doing this.
My question is: What can I do to have a smoother start to our mornings in this crazy time? My goal has always been to begin school at 8:30, but lately it's been more like 10:30.
Should I just take it easy on myself and allow it to be, "O.K" to have a late start and get the basics done for a little while until I'm getting more sleep, or do I just need to accept the fact that I need to get up early no matter how much or little sleep?
Ultimately, I want to have more routines and chores in place and done before 8:30, but I'm barely functioning by that time. What can I do in the meantime?
Maybe even just seeing, "regular" morning routines will give me a goal or a guide.
I hope this makes a little sense. Thanks in advance for your responses!
DeAnn
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folklaur
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| Posted: Nov 03 2008 at 11:13am | IP Logged
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I really want to come back and reply more fully later - but I just wanted to say... you said, "My goal has always been to begin school at 8:30, but lately it's been more like 10:30."
Well...is it possible that your family's natural rhythm at this time is the later schedule? I mean, honestly, the time is pretty arbitrary, isn't it? What is it about "8:30" that makes you feel like that is the ideal time?
Sleep is important!
And - don't feel guilty about a Nature Club meeting! That is learning in action!
I am sure you are going to get a lot of really great responses. I hope to come back - but I just needed to tell you, imo, to not be so hard on yourself...
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Bridget
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| Posted: Nov 03 2008 at 11:28am | IP Logged
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A whip and chair?... cattle prod?
It's really hard to get that many people, all with free will, going on a decent schedule.
We actually had a great school morning here but not without firm direction from me and I'm still in my robe and nightgown at lunchtime. Something always has to give to have a great school morning.
We try to start by nine but chicken chores drag out sometimes. I have found it's much better to let other chores go till after the bulk of the schooling is done. I do load the dishwasher from breakfast myself while I listen to my early reader. (Having a child do it made it too hard for the child to get school started on time.) They have plenty of chores after school work.
The thing is that chores HAVE to get done one way or another. School work doesn't always have that same urgency, though it should. So we do the most important things first. School, whether it's bookwork or hands on fun stuff, learning comes first.
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Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
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mellyrose
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| Posted: Nov 03 2008 at 12:59pm | IP Logged
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What's wrong with pushing your day later? When I had a newborn (and only 2 older kids!) our day didn't start until later. I try to be more in tune with a routine vs. a timed schedule.
And, ok, she's not a newborn anymore, but our day still starts later. I like to sleep in the morning, and our day goes better when Mom isn't crabby from lack of sleep.
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DeAnn M
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| Posted: Nov 03 2008 at 1:46pm | IP Logged
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Thanks Ladies,
This is my fourth year homeschooling and I still have a hard time breaking out of the "school" mode. Having been a teacher in my previous life, I remain determined to stay on a school-type schedule.
So, DeAnn, it's O.K. to begin later in the morning.
I suppose I just assume that everyone gets up at 5:30, exercises, takes a shower, and prays all before the kids wake up and happily begins the school day at 8:00 AM.
Obviously, every family is different and has different natural rhythms--much like nature. I suppose those rhythms change based upon the season of life (like newborn adjustment) and the current weather conditions (like illness, Sarah Palin coming to town, or no sleep the previous night)
One of the reasons that I stuck with homeschooling is that I wanted to be ruled by our natural family rhythms rather than that of a school's (which interrupted toddler's naptime in order to pick up...naptime is practically sacred in my house) Anyway, thanks for reminding me that it's O.K. begin later if that's what we need right now. Also, thanks for reminding me that learning needs to take the priority...not the mess that I see all over the house.
What is the first thing you guys do that begins the school day? When we went to the Sarah Palin rally last week, the crowd said the Pledge of Allegiance. It dawned on me that my little ones did not know the Pledge! How un-American! They just sort of looked at me, like, "Should I know this, Mom?" Some "school" type things like that I have taken for granted.
Anyway...thanks again.
DeAnn
P.S. Do you think you can buy a cattle prod on ebay? 
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Bridget
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| Posted: Nov 03 2008 at 2:05pm | IP Logged
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DeAnn M wrote:
P.S. Do you think you can buy a cattle prod on ebay? |
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 Let me know if you find one!
Remember that it's all good. Some days your best is fabulous and your a brilliant homeschooling mom and some days it's really lame.
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Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
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helene
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| Posted: Nov 03 2008 at 2:15pm | IP Logged
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I would go to that nature meeting. For some reason 8:30 seems to be our goal, too, but 9 is more like reality. I know it helps everyone when I get to bed early and rise somewhat early, too, but with a newborn you need to cut yourself some slack. More important than when you start is whether or not any learning at all is going on in your home, even if it draws into the evening. And even more important than that is whether or not Mom is getting enough sleep to handle the days' work and keep a charitable atmosphere in your house. If you are, you're a hero! If not, go easy on yourself, take a nap, go to bed early, drink tea often, read aloud and do fun things like library outings and nature groups. You're golden!
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Barbara C.
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| Posted: Nov 03 2008 at 5:46pm | IP Logged
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Here I was just blogging about trying to get myself out of bed by 8:30. I wasn't even thinking about shower, clothing, or exercise. I figure those can happen later. We don't do much formal, but we do get rolling later in the day. Getting my oldest out of bed before 10:00 is pretty dicey.
And with a new baby, it is more than OK to rest when you need to rest. The first two months are usually the easiest because the baby sleeps most of the time; it's when they start waking up more that things get extra stressful. And you're right on target for that. Just find a new rhythm.
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Mary Chris
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| Posted: Nov 03 2008 at 5:56pm | IP Logged
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DeAnn,
You should always make nature club a priority. Ok, I'm just being selfish. But if you were at nature club I would have told you that my day looks the same way, and I only have three children, I am such a slacker!
We should chat.
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mom2mpr
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| Posted: Nov 03 2008 at 8:42pm | IP Logged
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So glad to hear we are not the only late starters. We really get going after lunch. We rise about 9, play a little around the house, I do some chores, we all eat some breakfast, maybe(rarely)get math done, walk the dog and play in the yard for an hour or so and THEN we can get some decent work done. After lunch. I am trying to relax..and it has been easier and more fun.
Anne
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lapazfarm
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| Posted: Nov 03 2008 at 9:21pm | IP Logged
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I believe we had a whole thread once on late starters. I know I am one. We rarely do anything until 10 or so.
I don't feel like it is necessarily some sort of virtue to start early, and I think many moms feel unfairly pressured to do so, as if late starting implies laziness or something.
But really, it's all in our particular temperaments and lifestyles whether we start early or later. And babies throw a whole big, beautiful monkey-wrench into it all!
What matters is that we do what we can with what God gives us.
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Theresa
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mariB
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| Posted: Nov 04 2008 at 4:17am | IP Logged
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This was us until last week! (except for one early riser). Hey...I had a friend who's family didn't get started until after lunch. It was her family's natural rhythm. They waited until their father would get home from work ( around midnight) and visit him so everyone slept in!
Maybe if you play a little gregorian chant music while everyone is cleaning up and getting ready it may make you feel that at least you are working on the virtue of working together as a family in a prayerful atmosphere...like St. Benedict and his monks praying and working! (I play gregorian chant throughout the school day and then eventually switch to classical.) anyhow, it's amazing the amount of PEACE gregorian chant gives to the whole household!
I am an early riser...but I don't feel like I get my stride until around 10 o'clock and rarely teach the little ones until then.
I've learned through the years of homeschooling that every family has a different way of home schooling...and THAT is O.K.! Whatever works!
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marib-Mother to 22ds,21ds,18ds,15dd,11dd and wife to an amazing man for 23 years
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Angie Mc
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| Posted: Nov 04 2008 at 9:12am | IP Logged
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Without reading any replies and thinking about what has worked for us at different times over the years, my quick thoughts are:
Sleep, mama. Find a way to get to bed early, or take naps, or sleep in. I know it is hard to find sleep, but look at it as an investment and discipline.
Teach your older children how to "hold the fort down" when you are unavailable. For example, in the morning give them a checklist (include task - for non-readers use pictures - and how long it should take) to follow without you. Keep it short and prioritized (make sure they know how to do what you ask.) Once completed, they can have "free time."
Post family priorities. When you dh is available, talk with him about your priorities. Bring it to the children and ask them what is important to them. Post your list someplace where they can be seen and referred to. Include pictures for non-readers.
Give yourself a morning "peg" like I describe here. Make it anytime that makes sense for your family. My peg includes breakfast, etc., but your doesn't need to. Your peg can simply a quick gathering to collect yourselves. "Good morning everyone. Raise your hand if you slept well last night. Great! Well, mama is tired today so I need extra help from you. We have a nature study class that we can go to at noon, but I'm concerned that our house is messy and we haven't read together today. We have some other priorities, too (show/read priority list.) How would you like to tackle this today?"
I hope you find a thing or two that will help you, DeAnn. Will you check back in with us and let us know what works for you?
Love,
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DeAnn M
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| Posted: Nov 04 2008 at 9:19am | IP Logged
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Oh, Mary Chris, how I wish I had scrapped everything and gone to the Nature Club. I had very little sleep and got going so late that I knew I could not do lessons and Nature. I should have just chosen Nature.
Oh well, at least I can check shower, voting, and snack off of my to do before 10:00 list.
Theresa, you are so right in that so many people see early rising as a virtue. My parents both grew up on farms and my Mom especially drilled it into my head that the day is half over by 10 AM...get up and get going!
As far as "schooling" is concerned I usually try to console myself thinking about the amount of actual, "instructional time" that takes place in a brick and mortar school. As a teacher of young children, we spent a lot of time lining up, waiting for everyone to get to the right page, etc. I don't mean to criticize schools, it's simply the way things have to be done when working with large groups of children. It just helps to use that comparison when defending our daily schedule and rhythm with my Mother and other doubters.
Looking at my responses it seems that I also need to stop being so concerned with what everyone else thinks of me, my family, our decisions and our schedule. Boy, asking for help, verbalizing struggles, and receiving gracious responses from others in the same boat is better than therapy! (Hmmm...it seems that the Church has provided such a gem in the Sacrament of Reconciliation as well. I love our Faith. God truly provides for our every need!)
Snack time's over! Gotta run!
Blessings,
DeAnn
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DeAnn M
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| Posted: Nov 04 2008 at 9:23am | IP Logged
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Oh, Angie, somehow I missed your response before I posted the last one. Thanks for the practical advice! My children tend to do well with a sort of, "check in" time.
Yes, I'll let you know what works. For now, I just feel encouraged knowing that I am not the only one who gets going a little later in the morning.
Thanks,
DeAnn
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JennGM
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DeAnn, I don't have advice, but except for the 6 kids part, I feel like you are describing me. We're slow movers, and don't seem to get any school work started until after 10:00. My 10 month old used to sleep through the night, now he doesn't, which is like having a newborn to my body. 
Wish you had come to nature study. I hope next week, maybe? Mondays are atrium, nature study, and grocery store. How's that for a productive school day?
DeAnn wrote:
| I suppose I just assume that everyone gets up at 5:30, exercises, takes a shower, and prays all before the kids wake up and happily begins the school day at 8:00 AM. |
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That is my dream to do that, but my reality is that I'm NOT a morning person. I'm easing into FlyLady and just trying to lay out my clothes, grab a shower in the morning and I consider that a GREAT day. Then to work in a good time for prayers and private time is my next goal, and exercise....hmmmm....... 
This week I'm trying to do morning Mass to gain indulgences for the Poor Souls. It happens to work well right now because of the time change, since the boys are waking up earlier it's easier to leave. But it's hard. But usually, they sleep in late, and when I'm tired, I take that as a God given gift to let ME sleep a little more. I can't get a nap usually, so morning hours I grab that time.
Lots of great advice, and I hope to glean some for myself. I just wanted to say -- "Hi, I'm Jennifer, and I don't do mornings well. In fact, I fail at them."
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Willa
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| Posted: Nov 04 2008 at 10:21am | IP Logged
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My kids had morning chores, but it was up to them to get them done in the morning. If they didn't, they had to finish them after our school. And they weren't allowed to play until their chores were done, but if they got them done and still had time to play, they could.
We had/have pegs like Angie said. Right after breakfast we would do some sort of gathering. We've done it different ways on different years. This year I start by reading aloud. In past years I've started with a read-aloud and had the children draw in a notebook or color while I was reading. That got their hands to brain connection working and it was easier to phase into seatwork from there.
For some families, an art exercise or a physical warm-up, or circle time might work better to start the day. When my oldest went to Catholic school for the primary grades, the teachers would have constructive play for a few minutes before school started. There would be various activities to choose from -- a book nook, a building/block center, a game station, etc. Then she would call them together for circle time -- prayer, calendar, songs, etc.
I guess the point is to find some type of transition activity that the kids and you enjoy. When I first started homeschooling they really complained if I just pulled them straight from play to seatwork, so I learned to have a middle activity.
We usually start at about 9 or 9:30. This seems to work better for us. It gives me time to spend a bit of time greeting the children, making the breakfast and tidying up a bit, glancing over my plans for the day. I usually give them a 20 minute warning: "Time to get chores done and/or finish playing".
I always worked really hard on sleeping and nurturing the baby when I had a new one. That is primary. Other things can be caught up on later. Relaxed baby-mom time is irreplaceable in my opinion -- it never comes again : ), that hospitality time of settling into life with the unique new soul. And the children learn a lot about how to introduce a new one into the family if you make that top priority. I think this is work, just as much work as getting things done in house and homeschool, and a deeper and richer kind of work. Just because it seems "natural" doesn't mean it's not of vital importance in your life right now.
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Willa
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: Getting a Good Start in the AM...Help
