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cornomama4
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| Posted: Sept 05 2008 at 10:21pm | IP Logged
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I've been putting off posting about what I want to be the September "good habit of the month" because 1) I wasn't really sure what to choose and B) I was WAY to preoccupied with the RNC. (Ending my tendency to procrastinate is not the choice, btw  I'll do it later)
I seem to be the more motivated when I identify the bad habit that is currently driving me the most crazy and hit that. Over the summer it was the general messiness that drove me to despair so we tackled that first. Worked pretty well. But what next.
I realized that one habit I have that either works out spectacularly or fails miserably is my tendency to multi-task. Most of us do it, and I used to take pride (that's probably a big part of my problem ) in how many tasks I could manage to do at the same time. Before kids when I had only my own needs to consider (and sometimes dh's) this worked very well.
Now my attempts to squeeze as many tasks into a small amount of time are seriously making me crazy. You know the feeling, you get all the kids to the table and highchair for breakfast, so you run into the laundry room to switch the clothes over to the dryer and on the way past the guest bath you see that someone has managed to bring half the sandbox onto the floor in there. So you run to grab the vacuum, forgeting the laundry which is now doomed to sour in the washer (again) to grab the canister vac and on your way past the table you realize that the 2yo has no fork to "eat da nummies". While grabbing that you somehow fail to notice that baby has scooted his highchair dangerously close to the lovely cherry Dutch baby (German pancake) sitting on the counter waiting to be cut. Suddenly, as you kneel to change the vacuum bag (because you heard something MOVING inside it) the universe comes to a standstill and all you hear is the sickening sound of a large, sloppy, cherry red and sugary mass sliding to it's demise on your beige Berber.
At this point poor dh will come in and say "Honey, have you seen my red cumberbund. I need it for the concert today in Cinci and I need to leave in like 3 mintues. Hey, and why is the vacuum out?"
So, to save myself from wasted water, traumatic breakfast-related mishaps and weekly trips to confession, my September good habit is "do what you're doing when you're doing it." If I'm serving the kids lunch, I sit and eat with them or at least stay in the kitchen, no matter how seductively the toilet beckons me to "come clean me...it'll only take 2 mintues...I miss you!...."
I need to be more "mindful" (really more prayerful, like the Little Flower)of what I'm doing at the time, because while the windows won't suffer so much from such minimal attention, that kind of mindset is bound to rub off on my parenting and homeschooling. When I sit down with my 8yo to hear his labored reading practice, I want him to feel like there is nothing I'd rather be doing than spending time with him to help him be a better reader (and in my heart that's true!) Even the baby can tell when I'm distracted about all the things I should be doing. He follows me around all over the house. If I give him my full attention for 15 mintues, he's content for 30 
I have to give up the idea of the old me, the gal who could change clothes in the car from her Perkins uniform to all black to play at a wedding WHILE I WAS DRIVING  or book a gig with a brass quintet between contractions while I was in labor with my 1st. Or write a term paper while I'm cooking a Thanksgiving dinner for 12 friends. I lived like this until I was 33 and had ds#1, and just now at 41 (after totally burning out after #4) I'm realizing it ain't gonna work no more!
Sorry this is so long. Thanks to those who read it all. Maybe October will be "the virtues of susinct posting" And since this is suppossed to be a family habits project, the older ones have very basic orders for their day (not really a schedule) and are learning to follow a routine and focus on the task at hand. We chunk up the day and try to stay focused on that chunk until it's done. They have a printed routine to follow with certain chores for each day (very simple right now) and then I write an outline of the day on a dry erase each morning...like 5 or 6 chunks of the day. It helps when I can write "suprise craft" or "adventure trip" a couple times a week. They LOVE to know what's in store! Now, if I could only get dh to look at the outline.....
Wish me luck!
cm4
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LookaBook
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| Posted: Sept 06 2008 at 8:51am | IP Logged
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Oh! You have hit the nail on the head- multitasking no longer works. I have been pondering this problem in an attempt to gain some control over my environment.
I find that when I try to multitask I end up just spinning my wheels, nothing is finished. I hate that feeling! You get to the end of the day and the house is still trashed and you wonder "What did I accomplish today?" 
My dh has suggested that I treat the management of our home and homeschool like a job. This has been helpful. I try- like you said to give each task my full attention- until it is done!
With school we have developed parameters in which school exists- school from 9am-11am and then 1pm-3pm. I am not allowed to do chores during this time. If the child doesn't finish their work during school hours (and there is NO reason they can't) they have homework.
My two big non-multitasking focuses now are laundry, and cooking- the mess is just too big if I don't focus my attention on these things.
I do think that the more children we have the more difficult multitasking becomes. I think of Our Lady's life in Nazareth- very simple, she did one thing at a time- multitasking is a modern invention.
I'll keep chewing on this one!
God Bless,
Alison
Mommy to ds10, dd8, ds6, dd4, dd22mos and one due Christmas day!!!
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Bookswithtea
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| Posted: Sept 06 2008 at 11:37am | IP Logged
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Cornomama, your posts always make me giggle. You may have missed your calling as an actress instead of a musician! 
Fwiw, I had to stop multitasking somewhere around child #4, too. It just didn't work anymore. I was feeling like my head was spinning atop my neck.
Sounds like a good plan. And if you take the time to make a basic "I rotate laundry after the kitchen dishes before listening to ds read" and "I clean the bathroom in the afternoon when the baby's asleep" then it helps a lot with having to ignore it while you are listening to ds read or feeding the 2 yr old. I need to know there is a plan for it to get done at some point or I go bananas...
My new attempt for September? I am tired of eating the same old boring dinners. I bought Saving Dinner the Low Carb Way and I just got back from the grocery store with 6 meals worth of food (doubled from the book). I hope it goes ok, but I told the kids already, "I don't wanna hear it if you don't like it. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."
__________________
Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and  due 9/10
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: September habit
