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julia s.
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| Posted: Oct 10 2005 at 7:54am | IP Logged
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I'm hoping you all can help me here. A lot of the time when I go to the library I spend time picking out shorter picture books that I think both of my kids will like on any given topic. However, when I get home my youngest never wants to sit and listen to the books. He always runs away to another room and plays. And family read alouds don't happen unless by chance. I feel sad because I would really like to have his presence for some of the books, but I don't know if I should demand it more strongly (Or how to do so without it seeming like he's being punished). I know many of you talk about how your youngers color or do something quiet in the room while you read aloud, is this something you expect? Would you restrict them if they wanted to be somewhere else? How do you get younger children to see the "school" day as something that involves them?
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julia
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with ds12 ds8 ds3 and ds1
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Molly Smith
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| Posted: Oct 10 2005 at 8:12am | IP Logged
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Julia, this has been such a struggle for me, too. I didn't want my younger children to miss out on a great story. But then I realized that we'll read it again another year and they'll hear it then. I've just come to realize that it's better for my family to let the younger ones wander away if they want to--the rest of us get more enjoyment out of the story and everyone is happy. Now, the older ones don't have a choice--they must stay  .
I struggle with this for all of our read alouds, actually. Just yesterday I read a great picture book to Timmy while he was doing his nebulizer, and it was just us. I know my other kiddos would have loved it, but they were off doing something else. Was it worth it to disrupt their play and make everyone come and listen. No way.
This realization has been very freeing. I wouldn't have read Jeanne Secret of the Andes when she was in kindergarten or younger, so why am I insisting on reading it aloud to everyone during lunch?
I'm interested in hearing from you all who have been doing this longer...
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Molly Smith in VA
Mom to seven beautiful children, ages 1-14
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cathhomeschool
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| Posted: Oct 10 2005 at 9:56am | IP Logged
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I agree with Molly. My older ones are definitely required to "sit in," but the younger ones can come and go. For a while, our problem was opposite of yours -- the younger ones wanted to sit next to me while I read. They wanted to hold the book and refused to turn the page. So we were forced to do much of our read alouds during quiet time or at bedtime.
Our bedtime read alouds have had the side benefit that my dh gets to read to us, and the little ones listen (like it or not) while they fall asleep. They have come to enjoy these times, even though we read long chapter books that they don't always understand/follow. (They do understand parts.)
I think that different children develop the desire to read/listen at different ages. I wouldn't push it. If you want to include him in the school day, maybe the three of you could color, craft or paint together. Maybe you could have one on one time with him during the school day. Does he like to color, use scissors, glue, playdoh, paint? My little ones love it when I do something with them alone. I ask them if they'd like to "do school" with me. My 4yo didn't want to color for the longest time, but loved to watch me color and tell me what colors to use.
Maybe your son would read with you if he picked the book. Maybe you could just look at the pictures together without reading. -- My 3yo loves looking at dog and cat books with me, but doesn't have the patience to "read" the books.
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Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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Willa
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A couple of things I've tried to encourage little ones to be around during storytime:
1. Read the picture books at bedtime -- if the child doesn't want to listen, he can go to bed, but not play (but of course, I agree with you that it's not to be a "punishment"; it's just that bedtime is not a "playing" time of day)
2. Sometimes mealtime read-alouds work to keep a group together -- more often I'd read the stories while serving a special snack like popcorn or cocoa -- the child is free to go play, but the food stays in the eating area.
3. I've tried coloring and toys but usually at an older age and usually only when the child basically WANTS to hear the story but just can't get himself to stay still without occupation.
4. In that line, you could have some special toys or activities that can only be used during "school time" or reading time.
You could try asking why he doesn't like the stories.
But basically, I don't restrict or require a younger child to listen to read-alouds UNLESS I was doing a specifically preschool experience with him, like Before Five in a Row (and then of course, the older kid wouldn't be required to listen). Personally I usually choose different read-alouds for different levels and am glad when an older or younger child listens in, but am also glad when I can share that private reading time with one child only -- it's usually a different experience reading to one child than to two or more and I think kids get great memories from that one on one book time. Group read-alouds are more efficient I suppose, but a little less focused and relationship-oriented (in my humble opinion)
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Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
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ALmom
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| Posted: Oct 10 2005 at 9:56pm | IP Logged
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Our read alouds are bedtime. Our toddler is unpredictable. He loves the snuggling involved in reading and I read aloud to him as he asks, while older children work with school - or if he asks to do school.
We don't require him to sit still and he can wander while I work with others. By the time you have a large family (at least this is how it works in our family), I worry that I get too involved working/reading to and discussing work with the olders that the toddlers get neglected. I know this is the case when they come to me asking to "do my school" No way would this child sit through a lengthy book - but those are great to wind child down to sleep. We have everyone pick a book as bedtime story and start with the youngest to oldest, everyone in our room. This follows night prayers. The younger two are usually asleep before we finish and dad carries them to bed.
Our biggest problem is keeping a good nightime schedule as it can end up being several hours of reading if I'm not careful as we all get sucked into a good book.
Janet/
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julia s.
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| Posted: Oct 11 2005 at 1:23am | IP Logged
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Thanks everyone for your advice. I'm glad to know that my youngest is doing what most of the young ones are doing. I guess sometimes I feel guilty about spending so much of my day with my oldest that I was hoping to involve him in the work some how. I do night time read alouds with both my children separately -- although I like the idea that Willa had of maybe a joined read aloud too at night which if he doesn't want to stay for he can go to sleep. I'll have to keep thinking on this.
My youngest just threw me for a loop when the school year began because he wanted "school" books of his own and so I bought some from the sonlight catalogue and he was so happy to have his own books. But whenever I pull one down to read he says he doesn't want to do them or have "school" (eventhough it would just be reading some stories). So I figure it will be another year (or two...) before we start anything formal. In lieu of his own time doing read alouds with me I had originally thought he'd like to sit in with his brother and I for part of the lessons, but he likes being off on his own. He's just a hard one to know how to please -- he's very independent and I guess I should respect that and be happy that he knows his own mind.
Even if I think he's being stubborn for no good  .
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julia
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with ds12 ds8 ds3 and ds1
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: Involving younger children
