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Kristie 4
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| Posted: Jan 23 2008 at 3:06pm | IP Logged
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I am going to swallow my pride and say a big HELP! This has just been another awful day- there have been too many of them in our little homeschool as of late, actually too many for my liking since the get go about 7 years ago.
I am at that point where I feel like I am ruining my dear ones education, and through that awful feeling, their little hearts as I nag and grump at them, which is the real clincher. I have made them feel way less than stellar and have been pointing out their failings exponentially more than their good points.
I have a 10yod whom is giving me the full marathon each day...I am floundering with organizing some areas of study....our days are dragging on and on and on with just the 3Rs.....and when I should be loving, praising,and cheering my kids on I am instead nagging, picking and cutting them down.
I have been brewing a post for my blog in my head for the past week or so- 'The good, the bad, and the ugly!'. It was going to be about what happpens when I spend too much time peeking into the larger homeschooling picture by reading the blogs of some great women. The 'good' is when I leave feeling encouraged, part of something bigger or with new ideas (this is often the case), as in the other day when a thoughtful post inspired me in my homemaking. The 'bad' is when I think that we are definitely not doing enough/doing to much/not doing it right etc. The 'ugly' is when I then place this burden on my dear little ones.
I know this week I have been spending much too much time on some super blogs and it has added to my stress of thinking that nothing is working.
I know that some of this is the stress of unchartered territory, the transition from a great December vacation and then into January routines (I am awful at transitions..like a fox in a henhouse), etc.
I guess I just needed to get this out, to humble myself, and maybe for a good cyber hug from people who might be able to relate.
Thank-you
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Kristie in Canada
Mom to 3 boys and one spunky princess!!
A Walk in the Woods
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cvbmom
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| Posted: Jan 23 2008 at 3:20pm | IP Logged
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No words of wisdom, just know you're not alone.
God bless,
Christine
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Red Cardigan
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| Posted: Jan 23 2008 at 3:35pm | IP Logged
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What you're experiencing is called "Third Quarter Blues."
It may or may not technically be third quarter, or you may not divide your school work into quarters, but the phenomenon is the same: right on schedule, sometime between Christmas and Candlemas, you find that your homeschool world has gone all small and boring and gray. The children are getting straight A's in Bickering, Advanced Whining, Grumping, and Bad Attitude, while struggling to complete a basic assignment in one of their actual subjects; but the more you fuss about it, the worse the situation seems to get (plus you have the added joy of Random Mommy Guilt for fussing at them).
Remedies I have sometimes used to combat this phenomenon:
Special Subject Day (we've done Space and Dinosaurs in past years, and the girls have started to ask for something this year). You drop all regularly scheduled activities and do games, crafts and snacks centered around the special subject. Homemade prizes are fun, too.
D.E.A.R. day. Back in grade school we did this a couple of times, and you've reminded me that I want to do this, too. Plan a whole or half day where you Drop Everything And Read. Younger children can be read too or use audiobooks.
Roadblock examination. This is where Mom analyzes the curricula being used and tweaks it, if necessary. I've swapped out draining math textbooks that assumed that the whole purpose of homeschooling is to teach math; I've cut down or eliminated various "mandatory" question lists or assignments in other books; I've put away the workbooks that are more sources of frustration than of learning, or decided arbitrarily that cursive handwriting isn't worth fussing over until next year. It's a great time to streamline the process and shelf the stuff that isn't working out.
Schedule re-commitment. I start out each school year with strict rules for myself: we will start no later than X, we will finish by X, I will not peek at blogs/talk on the phone/look at magazines or catalogs etc. until after school/workbook time/quiet reading time etc. A lot of that falls apart over Christmas break, and it's really hard to get back into the swing of things sometimes. Our children are quick to pick up on any halfheartedness in our moods, or any lack of focus; it's sometimes helpful to see where things have gotten really off track and then committing to a reasonable and workable school schedule.
Finally, another cyber from me! Hang in there--spring is coming!!
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Kristie 4
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| Posted: Jan 23 2008 at 4:31pm | IP Logged
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Thank you thank you Christine and Red! Wonderful suggestions, and very bang on . I decided this year would not have that Early year blah, but my the situation has not obeyed my decision!
The rest of today we had a quiet time, and I read to the kids (especially the littles). Next I came here, and so appreciate the hugs and the feeling that no, I am not alone.
So appreciative up here in chilly Manitoba...
BTW did I say that it has been hovering around -35 to -25 for the past week and a half!!
God bless you both for blessing me today.
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Kristie in Canada
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A Walk in the Woods
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LLMom
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| Posted: Jan 23 2008 at 7:38pm | IP Logged
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I know when I start feeling this way from reading blogs that that is a signal for me to back away from them. Lent is coming and I know for me it is time to take a much needed break. We can read all of these wonderful things, but I find more often I read them but then don't live them and then its just a waste of my time.
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Lisa
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Leonie
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| Posted: Jan 23 2008 at 8:26pm | IP Logged
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When I and the kids are in the grumps  , I find it helps to take a break - an unschooling break. We keep up outside appts and my part time work but we don't do our other things - instead, work on chores and on the house, on attitudes and on just hanging out and having fun.
Almost like a sabbatical. It can be as short or as long as you need  - it always makes me feel better and heals the situation.
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Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
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Courtney
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Wow, Kristie, I could've written your post! You have received some great suggestions (which I'm going to take). Hang in there and no you are not alone!
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Courtney in Texas
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Mom to Candace 10/97 ,Christopher 4/00 and Connor 11/11
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Kristie 4
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| Posted: Jan 23 2008 at 10:34pm | IP Logged
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Thank you Lisa, Leonie and Courtney.
Lisa, I am going to think hard about also taking a break for Lent- I know that during the Christmas to New Years break I was out West and found I felt refreshed having a sabbatical from reading what was out there and instead living with my kids and hubbie in real time! (It also helped that it was all just fun time...)
Leonie, this is such good advice.
Tonight I dipped into the library and grabbed some fun books on space that I knew my kids would enjoy...we will have a nice little 'read in' tomorrow.
I have also had the realization that too often I am trying to do it all, and all the best... and often coming to God last.
The post that Cay linked to today really made me think about my priorities....
Thank you again...(I am off now for a late night Ultimate Frisbee game (indoor)- one of the ways I let off some steam as a mom!)
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Kristie in Canada
Mom to 3 boys and one spunky princess!!
A Walk in the Woods
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Kristie 4
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| Posted: Jan 23 2008 at 10:36pm | IP Logged
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Here is the link to that great post Cay linked to earlier today.Here
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Kristie in Canada
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A Walk in the Woods
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Willa
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| Posted: Jan 24 2008 at 5:25pm | IP Logged
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LLMom wrote:
| We can read all of these wonderful things, but I find more often I read them but then don't live them and then its just a waste of my time. |
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Same here -- so I read the other blogs just to get a hint of beauty and a different way of life, not to feel like I don't measure up or to try to meet a standard that is not mine! When I do get to feeling that way I stop reading and focus on the good things happening right here at home. There are always a few at least
I guess that is what you are saying about the "good" side of reading blogs, Kristie.
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Willa
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Kristie 4
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| Posted: Jan 24 2008 at 7:51pm | IP Logged
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Yes Willa.
(And Willa, on a side note, I love reading your blog (and do faithfully) and it is always in the good lane! I think that is because the way you think and how it plays out in your home is similar to our daily round.)
I think yesterday I was definitely letting my whole picture of things blow out of proportions- but even so there were nuggets of truth in my frustrations and anxieties. I was reminded again of Jesus' words to not worry or be anxious about anything. I was also reminded to see the beauty and goodness in the small things in our days- how my 10yod and 5yos have been bonding so beautifully today, the wonderful card my daughter made for her friend for her birthday.
Today was still a slow morning but I just cut math off after a point, did our Latin all together and stuck like glue to my 7 year old son. We had lunch at a normal time (finally) and enjoy some great books around the table. Then in the afternoon I noticed that everyone enjoyed more breathing room and felt good that I didn't let it drag today. I think what we need is to get the basics going in a good rhythm and enjoying the things we do at lunch and when it works. Actually, this is usually my default everyday mode but suddenly last week I had gotten a little pressed that we weren't doing enough X and changed our strategy considerably and no one, including me, was enjoying it.
Leonie, I remember reading somewhere and I think it was either from you here or on your blog, that you jot down ideas as you find them and add them (or not) gradually as they fit into your lifestyle of family life and learning. I think this is such a wise way of doing things. I am going to keep reminding myself of this and put it into practice with my learning journal.
Thank you ladies for your replies and support...it has meant alot to me.
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Kristie in Canada
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A Walk in the Woods
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Leonie
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| Posted: Jan 26 2008 at 6:15am | IP Logged
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Glad to hear your day went better - sounds lovely, actually! We had a pretty busy and stressful week, so I think that next week, I'll follow your lead.
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Leonie in Sydney
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Willa
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| Posted: Jan 28 2008 at 2:35pm | IP Logged
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Kristie 4 wrote:
I think yesterday I was definitely letting my whole picture of things blow out of proportions- but even so there were nuggets of truth in my frustrations and anxieties. I was reminded again of Jesus' words to not worry or be anxious about anything. I was also reminded to see the beauty and goodness in the small things in our days- how my 10yod and 5yos have been bonding so beautifully today, the wonderful card my daughter made for her friend for her birthday. |
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Hmm, that is what I do too. I make a "good" list and a "bad and ugly" list. The good things I celebrate and the bad ugly things I try to plan solutions for. Sometimes if one gets under control, other things follow or at least get more endurable.
I hope things are still going better for you. I too had a rough time transitioning from Christmas break (which was heavenly) to the normal course of things. But now we're getting back into our stride -- not perfect, sadly, but at least manageable.
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Willa
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Willa
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| Posted: Jan 28 2008 at 2:42pm | IP Logged
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I also keep a list of someday/maybes -- I am pretty sure I got the idea from Leonie a long long time ago. Sometimes I make something into a top priority by letting other things lapse a bit temporarily. I got Latin to the front burner several years ago by letting other things slip further back, and now I want to put music practice higher up for my younger ones, and some writing practice for the middle ones up there too.
With Leonie's unschooly idea -- what ends up happening when I simply let go of "school" is that I end up reading and cleaning the house all day and benignly neglecting the kids. So when I think we need a more unschooly season I put things on the planner still but more fun, energy-consuming things-- like "play a game with the 12 year old" or "read to the 8 year old" -- spend some time with the teenager. Things like that. So it's still a bit structured for me, but less goal-oriented and more exploratory or discovery-oriented. If you see what I am saying. These are some things that help me.
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Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
Take Up and Read
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Kristie 4
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Oh Willa, yes, when I simply let go of school we have lots of baked goods, a clean house, and I am knitting and also 'benignly neglecting the kids!' (Oh, and also on the computer way too much.) I also have to plan some things in our unschooly times if they are longer.
Yes, things are very good here. Today I felt so refreshed arising and having a nice simplified plan. I jotted it down on my clipboard while waiting for my game last night. I realised that good and good to each other was better than the 'best'. I had been trying to do too much the best way etc. instead of focusing on the good and the little drops of water,little grains of sand (Cindy at Dominion Family always talks about this) that bring the beauty and life into our home.
Hope is all is well in your homes today....
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Kristie in Canada
Mom to 3 boys and one spunky princess!!
A Walk in the Woods
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