4Real Forums: Silly Question?

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Tina P.
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Posted: Jan 18 2008 at 12:41am \| IP Logged

I've been soul-searching on this for a long time. Sometimes I wonder whether my 13 yob is slow. I never want to label my children, but sometimes I wonder whether I'm pushing him too hard or whether it's all just attitude, defiance, boredom, or negativism on his part.

He's never been stellar scholastically. He reads fine (he's reading the Lord of the Rings trilogy currently). His math shows what I think are mostly careless mistakes, not misunderstandings of concepts. However, he will occasionally tell me he doesn't *get* something and just totally miss out on a concept. Though he can tell me the definition of synonym and antonym, he'll get them wrong if asked to come up with two words that are either synonyms or antonyms. I can barely read his writing attempts, though out of all the kids, he and my oldest daughter had the most handwriting practice available to them. He still asks me to cut shapes for him because he thinks he'll ruin whatever he's suppose to cut (therefore, lapbooks are out). And he's bored stiff with history.

It seems like the things he's *really* interested in (reptiles and natural science), he knows so much about that the rest of us look a bit foolish to him when we talk about them with him.

I have to wonder also whether he's just like this because his sister, born 1.5 years later, bounded ahead of him in reading and spelling (which he always had trouble with) quickly and is catching up to him in math. She's flexible about how to do school and can manage to fit things in no matter the distractions or whether we're on the go. She does her work neatly and without my constant prodding. Maybe he wants to be her antithesis so as to not feel like he's in competition with her? I don't compare them in front of them, but they might do so, I don't know.

He's also starting that grunting, shrugging thing that Elizabeth speaks of teenagers doing when hormones start hopping.

I wonder if you could help me sort out whether I should be worried about him or back off or give him space or what? Any advice would surely be appreciated.

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Tina, wife to one and mom to 9 + 3 in heaven
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LookaBook
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Joined: Jan 07 2008
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Posted: Jan 18 2008 at 8:17am \| IP Logged

Hey Tina!
I don't have a teenager yet, but I have many hs mom friends who do. One has a very interesting older son. He is a very quiet, deep thinker. He applies himself to ONLY what he is interested in. He cannot write or draw or cut to save himself. This fine motor skill issue was actually diagnosed (I can't remember the name). He just does all his compositions on the computer. This works very well for him- he is now a Senior at the local public highschool and is an honor student.
From what you discribe your son sounds very literal. Perhaps you might look a different learning styles so that you, and he can find which way he learns concepts best. It also sounds more like a temperment, not slowness...
These are just some thoughts,
Carter
mom to ds9, dd8, ds5, dd3, dd1

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