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teachingmyown
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| Posted: Sept 04 2007 at 7:33pm | IP Logged
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I am trying to figure out the right approach for my nine year old son. The best way to describe him is probably anecdotal. So, here some examples:
First of all, he is a very Jeckyl and Hyde personality. He has the sweetest heart, but a wild temper. One day I can ask for help with a chore and jumps right in, another day (or hour) he will yell and refuse to help.
He loves the trampoline. He sneaks out to it so that no one will know he is there and spy on him. He likes to fights Orks and such, and doesn't want to be disturbed or teased.
He will do his workbooks, spelling, math, handwriting, etc. with reluctance most days, other days he screams and cries and flat out refuses to do it. He has an analytical mind, but struggles with paying attention to his math long enough to solve a problem.
Today, he was in an amiable mood, so I asked him to do some copywork from our Sonlight Language Arts. He did it. But all the words ran together and it was hard to tell what he had written. I said, "That's great, but try to remember to leave a space between words so it is easier to read". He completely lost it, started screaming and saying he did the work for nothing.
He will read all day. He doesn't like me suggesting titles, but again, if he is in a reasonable mood, he will read what I give him. I have decided to just let him read through the Sonlight level that we are doing instead of insisting on doing all the discussion questions and activites.
Most nights, after the house is quiet, he will come to me and start talking about the books he has been reading. He also loves X-Box games that involve a lot of thought and he will go on and on explaining those to me as well.
I am not sure how to proceed with him, especially his total reluctance to write. I am wondering what the "unschooling" approach would be. I want to encourage him and work within his capabilities. At the same time, I don't want him to be ruled by his moods and seem as though I am giving in to him by not making him do "schoolwork".
Any thoughts or guidance would be appreciated.
Thanks!
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In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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Meredith
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| Posted: Sept 04 2007 at 8:12pm | IP Logged
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Molly, first of all, prayers coming your way!!
I have an alomst 9yo boy and he's a little more even-keel than your sweet guy but that being said he's still an 8yo boy IYKWIM 
Last year my ds totally balked at my plans for Science for him and so I sat down with him and said, "What do you think would be interesting? What do you like, what would be FUN?? And he thought for a bit and said, "I want to do Space and Planets mom." So we went for it and he put together a beautifully intricate Space and Planets Notebook with drawings and narrations and graphs, well, you get the idea. We made it his own and that worked great!! 
I don't know if this is what you're looking for, but it worked for us! This year he's on to Physics in the same vain with The New Way Things Work by David MacCauley, it's good so far, but just getting started here as well 
Blessings to you!
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Meredith
Mom of 4 Sweeties
Sweetness and Light
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LisaR
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| Posted: Sept 04 2007 at 10:00pm | IP Logged
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hmmm very interesting- sounds just like my now 14 y/o son. not much time but wanted to throw a few things out there. I've collected bits and pieces about ADHD, ADD, and Sensory Integration Disorders over the years. However, I hate labels and have tried hard not to label any of my admitedly quirky and "spirited" boys.
I recall reading mroe than once that kids with sensory issues can benefit greatly from rebounding. (basically jumping on the small trampoline) which sounds like your son is already doing. It provides with pressured stimuli which somehow helps them order things in their brain. So, let him jump away. I've never uttered this to anyone other than my dh, so maybe it sounds weird, but rebounding is supposed to be a big help. I also suspect that this is why ds is so focused at playing football in High School. (we never allowed him to play until this year, and now I regret it) the physical contact and pushing into others really seems to ground him . (again, I know this must sound strange)
We also do lots and lots of pushups at our home. again, the resistance seems to really calm and focus them.
My ds will read forever. basically anything. and he too likes to chat at length about books and computer stuff late at night. I really cherish this time with him, and fear I worried and fussed too much about him when he was 6, 7, 8, 9 etc. He is turning out to be ok!
Writing is still a huge chore. He did share with me at length that he finally likes writing because of the "momentum" he gets from being in a formal classroom. (we sent him to Catholic HS this year)
I don't feel bad about this- I just realize that the distractions of my 4 other kids doing other things in a small 1800 sf home really got to him, and being in a room with 20 other kids doing the exact same thing seems to calm him greatly.
Ds responded much better to dh starting at about age 9. Could your ds make up some daily goals and go over them with dad? start really small. and let him read read read, breaking for timer set short segments of the other stuff.
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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Barbara C.
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| Posted: Sept 07 2007 at 8:21am | IP Logged
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I have also come across what Lisa R. is talking about with the trampoline. Some have found that their child actually retains information better that they are given while jumping on the trampoline or doing some other physical activity. For instance, if he goes over math facts while jumping up and down (multiplication tables, adding numbers), he might be able to concentrate better and retain the information.
The unschooling approach could include asking him what he wants to study like Meredith said. It could also mean throwing out the workbooks and anything else that just isn't working for him, letting him follow his own interests, and trusting that he will learn everything that he really needs to.
You said that he would read all day. That's great. I think that he can learn a lot if you continue to let him choose most of his own materials. Maybe you can put him a list together of recommended books from Sonlight and the 4RealLearning list and ask that he read one book of his choosing off the list each week. You could say that these are books that you heard that kids his age would really enjoy.
As for writing, do you think that he would be up for having a pen pal? Maybe he would take more time with his writing (writing clearly, leaving spaces) if the writing had more purpose and if someone other than you were reading it and take criticism less personally. Or maybe he can help you with grocery lists or write stories for his baby brother that is expected in a few months? Spelling will come naturally the more that he reads and writes. And one thing I read that stuck with me is that if a child asks how a word is spelled while writing just tell them rather than make them interrupt their flow by having to look it up in the dictionary.
And I understand that you don't want him ruled by his moods all day, but it sounds like you might have a slightly "spirited" child on your hands. If you haven't read it before, I suggest "Raising your Spirited Child". He would probably do better with a set of specific chores that he is expected to do on a regular basis rather than spontaneous requests. And he may be sensitive to noise and distraction that makes doing "school work" difficult for him. And some kids just have a hard time doing things that seem irrelevant and tedious to them; this is why unschooling really works for some kids.
Good luck, and I'll keep you in my prayers.
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: Ds 9-unschooling approach?
