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domchurch3
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| Posted: Aug 25 2007 at 6:00pm | IP Logged
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My name is Elizabeth and since the time I was nursing a wee infant I knew I would homeschool. It really fit in with our dreams of having a big family. 5 years later, we have one daughter to hold, Bernadette, and 4 saints who I'm sure are praying for us in Heaven. Many times I wondered if I should give up on homeschooling. Socialization is a big issue and none of the Catholic homeschooling books I read were very helpful about this. All the books we read said socialization is a non-issue when you have many siblings. After much praying and discernment, we realized that it was necessary to homeschool her BECAUSE she was an only child. We figured the peer influence would be even greater because she did not have siblings. So, we made the decision to homeschool, but I still struggle with the problem of socialization. Even being a Mom to an only child, leaves me feeling isolated at times. I'm reaching out to anyone on these boards who can relate to my situation.
Thank You,
Elizabeth
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lapazfarm
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| Posted: Aug 25 2007 at 6:12pm | IP Logged
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For a beautiful example of what homeschooling an only child can be, check out Jennifer's blog here:S/V Mari Hal-O-Jen
It is very inspirational to see the lovely relationship between Jennifer and Marianna, how they obviously enjoy each other's company, and do things as a team. And yet I don't think anyone could say that Marianna lacks for socialization opportunities.
I always look at them as a shining example of how having an only child can be just as beautiful as having many.
__________________
Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
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CKwasniewski
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| Posted: Aug 25 2007 at 6:29pm | IP Logged
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Hi Elizabeth,
I have only 2 and I know where you're coming from... I sometimes worry that they will not get enough "socialization" as compared with say, a family of 6 or 8.
There are a few things that come to mind:
First and most important: God has a plan for your family. It is unique and if He doesn't plan to give you more children, He has something EVEN BETTER he wants to give you! Ask Him to give you peace about this.
2. You will be able to devote so much love and energy to this child, to give her an incredible education, one that will have different advantages compared to someone who has to "spread themselves out." Perhaps more focussed and intense? Perhaps being able to give her more freedom to explore?
3. You may find that you want to make an extra effort to do classes with something like a co-op or even just another friend, plat more get togethers with cousins, grandparents, etc., and make more play dates. Perhaps there are other group classes and activities that she'll be able to participate in, such as youth orchestra or sports.
Pray for the right friends both for yourself and your daughter. God will give you what you need.
I hope this helps some. I think the main thing is to remember that God will give us just what we need to fulfill our unique vocations.
blessings,
CK
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organiclilac
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| Posted: Aug 25 2007 at 6:36pm | IP Logged
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Hi Elizabeth,
I have a 6 year old son, and we have been unable to have more so far. I also worry about his socialization at times. We are blessed to know many wonderful families and are in a great co-op, so he does see other kids about once a week. It's just not the same as actually having to live with other kids, though.
Still, he is learning to resolve conflicts with his friends at about the same pace that they are. And he and I have a very deep bond that I treasure. I know it would not be the same if it had not been just the two of us at home all day through these years. Not that I don't still pray desperately for more! But every cloud has a silver lining.
All that to say, I think that he is socialized differently than his peers, but not worse. He will still be just as functional in society. He may just have a different set of strengths and weaknesses.
__________________
Tracy, wife to Shawn, mama to Samuel (4/01) and Joseph (11/11), and Thomas (2/15)
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PDyer
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| Posted: Aug 25 2007 at 7:49pm | IP Logged
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Hi Elizabeth,
Just wanted to say welcome, as I can't add much to what has already been posted. I have two kids, five years apart, so not quite what you're concerned with, but our family is still on the smaller side. Different families, different issues. God will help you work it out. 
__________________
Patty
Mom of ds (7/96) and dd (9/01) and two angels (8/95 and 6/08)
Life at Home
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Bella
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| Posted: Aug 26 2007 at 5:55pm | IP Logged
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Hi Elizabeth,
I wanted to also welcome you, and give you a cyberHUG! By the incredible grace of God, we were blessed with one DD and then five yrs. later, a DS. All of my HSing friends are Catholic, and all have at least four DC. I find it ver yhard to relate to their lives, and they probably find it hard to relate to ours.(?) We too imagined a much bigger family. Today is actually the 2 yr. anniversary of my hysterectomy, and boy am I feeling the finality of our famiy size. There are just so many issues athat come up with HSing-or just being Catholic(I am a four yr. convert!)- when you have a small family. And even though we have two DC, their age differences and gender differences almost amplify the isolation I can feel, and the challenges of trying to strengthen their relationship.   I just want you to know that I hear you and feel for you. I too try to remeind myself that *this* family is the *exact* family that God wanted for all of us.When I first converted, I was so afraid of setting up playdates-figuring the last thing a Mom with four,six, or eight DC needed, was me calling to see if my DD could play with theirs. Eventually, what I have found, is that even in larger families, it is a wonderful thing for that DC to come to our home to see the operations of a smaller family, and for our DC to see theirs! Sorry for rambling!
Anyway, I would love to see a forum here for small families.Topics like this could be addressed, tips shared, and perhaps we would feel more support and less isolation.
Warmly,
Christy
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Julia
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| Posted: Aug 26 2007 at 10:05pm | IP Logged
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Elizabeth-
I'm a mom of an only too. (And an only myself.) While I'm hoping for more, my age and other issues indicate otherwise.
Somedays I am broken hearted about this. And on darker days I am relieved, doubting my ability to raise one properly. (Not flattering, but true.)
I can understand your feelings of isolation. Not only do we not share the experiences of the wonderful moms-of many, but when our child grows up, that's *it* for us - and that can be hard.
Additionally, though I live in a vibrant neighborhood in a big city, my faith and my choice to homeschool separate me from many of my neighbors and friends. So the isolation feels even more acute. So perhaps I can understand, a little, about how you feel.
Also, I second Christy's idea for a small families forum.
Good idea  .
Julia
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domchurch3
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| Posted: Aug 27 2007 at 9:39am | IP Logged
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Thank You so much for reaching out and sharing your stories about raising small families. I agree, that I would like to see a forum for small families because I think there are enough issues in having a small family that we could encourage each other, offer advice and pray for one another. Some days, I'm filled with joy and other times, like recently I'm troubled with this almost suffocating sense of loss that keeps me up at night. And this sadness is not just about the babies I've lost, but also grieving the time lost with Bernadette while I read up on having a successful pregnancy. I feel I should have been reading to her more instead of pursuing a large family. I feel like I'm finally waking up and now I just want to love her and give her all I got. But there again, questions start popping up.
I'm so glad I posted my question because there because I don't feel alone, at least in this lovely forum.
Peace Only In Christ,
Elizabeth
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marihalojen
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| Posted: Aug 27 2007 at 11:07am | IP Logged
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Hello and Welcome, Elizabeth and Julia!
You aren't alone and this is the loveliest forum I've found on the internet! I've explored alot of different ones, only child places, sailing kids places, and this is the best of the best, the cream of the crop! (Can you tell I like it here?) There are moms here who have only one child as well as moms who are only homeschooling one of their children.
I wanted to address your idea of an Only Child Forum, I personally do not think another forum is neccessary. I tend to think too much segregation leads to overtones of the old treehouse with "Boys/Girls Only" sign hammered up on the trunk! I wondered a bit about having one for only children/fewer children earlier and tried a couple of threads to explore that, but from the responses I think any issues people seem to have can be handled within the forums already available. So don't be afraid to post a topic about smaller families here, the waters are nice and warm, dip your toes in!
A few of the previous threads:
Motivating a Student
Sites for only children
And as a very wise woman from these boards once shared with me - never forget, Jesus was an only child!
__________________
~Jennifer
Mother to Mariannna, age 13
The Mari Hal-O-Jen
SSR = Sailing, Snorkling, Reading
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: Homeschooling an only child
