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teachingmyown
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| Posted: June 07 2007 at 11:42am | IP Logged
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I don't even think that I will make the IHM conference this weekend, my kids are sick. However, the approach of it has me pouring through catalogs, websites and past topics here trying to decide what route to take next year.
I am currently very concerned that I have been TOO relaxed in my approach to homeschooling. We get the very basic stuff done and my kids read, and read, and read. But there are large gaps and despite my good intentions, we tend to fall into crisis mode, enough to get by schooling nearly every year.
I had looked into unschooling this year. Mostly because that was what was happening whether it was my plan or not. My dh is not happy with that approach and I worry to much to relax and let things flow naturally.
At this point, I am leaning heavily toward Sonlight. But my brain is ready to explode trying to figure out what levels to do with my 4 students. I am not exaggerating. I got the new catalog last night and read for hours. I went from being completely excited and enthusiastic to overwhelmed and discouraged. I am very ADD and get fried quickly when I have too many choices.
At the same time, I keep wandering back to Kolbe's website. It seems so simple. Each kid does his/her own grade. The lessons are very specific. We have deadlines and someone else grades. However, each time I read their booklist, I mentally cross of half of the books. 
I am also looking at Mater Amabilis and RC History.
I don't know what I am looking for in response to this post. In a way, I guess I am just venting.
But maybe some of you some advice or words of encouragement. I want structure with a literature-based format. Maybe I am overlooking something else out there.
If nothing else, could you just say a little prayer for my decision-making? This is really torture for me. 
__________________
In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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mrsgranola
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| Posted: June 07 2007 at 12:15pm | IP Logged
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Oh Molly-- I'm right there with ya! I become settled in one curriculum mode and then sure enough, I'm off second-guessing and looking into every other direction, as well. We have been enrolled with MODG for several years now but last year we used several CHC workbooks for lang. arts. I've done about every approach out there and I'm as confused as ever. 
Jacob will be going to St. Thomas More Academy next year for high school so that takes his primary subjects out of my hands. Let's just hope that commute doesn't do us all in! (45-55 mins.) He's agreed to give it a good hardy try although he's pretty nervous about it since he's always been homeschooled.
The girls always fall behind because I'm working to keep Jacob on track. I'm hoping this coming year I can really focus on them and get them caught up. Lucas is starting K next year, too, as well as us adding another baby in Dec.
Can I just win the lottery and hire Mary Poppins??! She can magically combine all the curriculum I like and teach it!
LOL
JoAnna
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Mom to Jacob, Grace, Mary, Lucas, Emma, Carrie and Gianna
Parente Adventures
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MicheleQ
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| Posted: June 07 2007 at 12:51pm | IP Logged
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mrsgranola wrote:
| Can I just win the lottery and hire Mary Poppins??! She can magically combine all the curriculum I like and teach it! |
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Well that would be nice wouldn't it? But let's face it, A) it's not going to happen and B) it wouldn't help you to become holy. 
First things first, start praying. Step away from the curriculum, put down the catalog and and yes even stop looking at the Mater Amabilis webpage.
Already praying? Good - pray more and start trusting that God has a plan for your welfare and that of your children. He made you and He made them...and He made YOU their mother. He knows what He's doing - truly He does. The thing is to get yourself quiet enough and undistracted enough (is undistracted a word??) to hear Him.
You know your children and you know yourself. What works and what doesn't? Start there and build on it.
Molly you said you want "structure with a literature-based format". OK, why? I'm not challenging you I'm trying to get you to dig a little deeper. Ask yourself more questions and share those answers with us and maybe we can help point you in the right direction.
What do you want your homeschool to look like? Better yet what do you want your family life to look like?
How do your children learn best and how do you function best as their mother and teacher?
Any program is good if it gets the desired result but even the best of programs will fail if it doesn't suit you.
Structure with a literature-based format fits the Mater Amabilis model but that doesn't mean it's what will work for your family.
Of all the options you are looking at what are the pros and cons? Write them out and help yourself get a clear picture of what you want, where you want to go and what can take you there.
Keep talking.
God bless,
__________________
Michele Quigley
wife to my prince charming and mom of 10 in Lancaster County, PA USA
http://michelequigley.com
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teachingmyown
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| Posted: June 07 2007 at 1:35pm | IP Logged
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Thanks Michele! You crack me up "Step away from that catalog!" 
I will work on a list. I have done that in the past and honestly forgot to sit down and write it out this year. My problem is that even when I do that, I still end up in overload and make decisions that I look back on and shake my head. For example, choosing Seton for my teen last year. Ugh! I have a whole shelf lined with MODG lesson plans.
Anyway, my kids are happiest with their noses in a book. The little girls (7 and 5) both started reading this past year and love to whiz through their Explode the Code books, math books, spelling, etc. They are just starting to pick up chapter books and settle down for a long read like the older kids. The older two (at home) devour books and it is hard to get them to the table to do other work.
None of them seem particularly inclined towards hands-on stuff. But that could really be a reflection of my avoidance of it.
I am trying to envision what I want our family life to look like. It is easier to see what I don't want. To be honest, I don't like "teaching". I like to converse with my kids, share ideas, etc., but trying to explain grammar or science or math concepts I find difficult. I cannot handle 5 little people sitting at a table together all saying "Mom, come look at mine, I need help, did I get it right?!". All while pulling the toddler off of the kitchen counters and letting the dogs in and out. I go to frazzled very quickly.
I do like to read to them. I like one-on-one, snuggle on the couch and go over a lesson. My kids are more relaxed that way too.
I need to check off a box, not just in schooling but in my daily routine. I guess that is an ADD type thing. Otherwise, I flounder, get distracted and the day has drifted away and so have the kids. That is why programs that only "suggest" various activities, such as many unit studies, don't work for me. I do need to be told what to do. And I need discussion questions. My kids will talk and talk and talk about some things they read. But I am not good at pulling out of them relevant points or things they should have gotten from a book. I also can't keep up with their reading, so I don't even know the stories half the time.
I am in awe of the fact that God has called me to homeschool. And I have no doubt that He has. I am truly not cut out for it, even after all of these years if it still very difficult. I love being with my kids. I know how I want them taught and who I want them to become. I am just shaking my head at the thought that I am the one to do it.
Thanks. I will give more thought to pros and cons and maybe add more that I come up with.
__________________
In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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guitarnan
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| Posted: June 07 2007 at 2:44pm | IP Logged
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Molly,
I think I'm a lot like you, except that I don't mind teaching math. I DO mind when my children procrastinate, doodle, sigh, whine and otherwise avoid math. I tend to avoid science experiments because I don't like cleanup. (My dd is very hands-on, though, and has been known to take her science book and do experiments on her own if I drag my feet.)
What has worked for me is a hybrid approach. I use some CHC workbooks for dd (finishing grade 4) so I have boxes to check off. We use spelling, grammar, penmanship...stuff like that. I use a math text. We have the Faith and Life books but we usually polish those off halfway through the year and I spend the rest of the time doing liturgical activities (I have a cool ancient Dinah Zike Old Testament book...wish I had bought the New Testament one too), reading saint bios, etc. I use a lot of resource materials and also lots of ideas from here.
I have a weekly planning sheet for each child so we can check off every subject, every day, and change things around as needed.
(My son is in grade 9, so we have lots of structure and many textbooks. I used some Hillside Education literature study guides for him, which worked well.)
Next year I need to spend more time on writing for dd...I hope I can do this mostly through CHC's Stories of the Saints Vol. 1 and add-on activities. She dislikes writing, so we'll see.
I can't imagine the chaos if all your children are requesting your attention all the time; perhaps you could have the two younger ones work on a project (like math manipulative blocks, for ex., or drawing a map together) while you spend a few minutes with the older ones. Since they love to read, you can give them reading time while you work with the younger ones.
I have tried buying packaged lesson plans (Kolbe and CHC) twice and didn't use them much at all. The literature guides I mentioned above are more what I need; I don't need someone to tell me to do a page of penmanship and practice addition facts. And, I crossed off half of Kolbe's books, too...finally stopped using them except as a textbook supplier because I really wasn't reading the lesson plans at all!
I think Michele's advice is great; you need to figure out your style of teaching and then build around that. If your life is as chaotic as mine, you might need to plan with flexibility (extra time during the day in case you're coping with ill children or something like that) so you don't feel boxed in by school.
With the baby coming, I'm sure you'll need to plan more cuddle time and reading for those early weeks when you're tired and nursing all the time...so perhaps you can really do lots of literature then (don't forget poems, songs, etc.) so you can work with everyone together and save your energy.
God hasn't left you all alone to do this. He sends the Holy Spirit to us all. Ask for those seven gifts! He will truly help you. (I am living proof. I could never do this without the Holy Spirit, or without the Blessed Mother's intercession.)
I really got a lot out of Lissa's and Elizabeth's daily goal lists (on their blogs). I am not too great at the "get outdoors" part, especially during the cold months, but we've done a lot more of that this year than I ever thought I could manage. Seeing other parents' goals in writing really helps me focus on what I'm trying to do.
Sorry to ramble. I hope this helps. I'm familiar with the panic that comes with hoping you've done a good job, in spite of the ups and downs of family life.
__________________
Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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MicheleQ
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| Posted: June 08 2007 at 3:51pm | IP Logged
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Molly,
I'm pressed for time right now but it sounds like you are starting to get a focus. Make that list and keep praying.
Forgive me if I am making assumptions but it sounds like maybe you need some organization/time management help?
Some recent books I have found VERY helpful in these areas are:
Organizing for Your Brain Type: Finding Your Own Solution to Managing Time, Paper, and Stuff
This is a must read for everyone who struggles with organization - especially moms! it's very enlightening and in fact very validating. It really helped me understand why i do what i do and how to better organize my home and homeschool.
Did I mention I really like this book?
AND
Time Management for the Creative Person: Right-Brain Strategies for Stopping Procrastination, Getting Control of the Clock and Calendar, and Freeing Up Your Time and Your Life
If you are right brained (many women are) this book will be a HUGE help to you. Lee Silber has several books but this one is my absolute favorite.
Ok gotta run!
__________________
Michele Quigley
wife to my prince charming and mom of 10 in Lancaster County, PA USA
http://michelequigley.com
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teachingmyown
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| Posted: June 08 2007 at 4:11pm | IP Logged
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Michele,
Thank you so much. I will check out those books. I had just put a couple of ADD/organization type books on hold at the library.
I am a mess and it is beyond me how to fix it. If I go through a stack of papers, I find I just end up shuffling things around and my mind just glazes over. Today, I tried to tackle some boxes that were just pulled out of a storage closet when we moved some rooms around. These are small boxes left over from our move a year and a half ago, filled with an assortment of things. There were school books, puzzle pieces, science experiment materials , art work, etc. I can't handle diving into something chaotic like that. It all ended up back in the box and I walked away with thoughts of paying anyone to come into my life and organize and put things in logical places. This isn't "clutter", but it is stuff that right now is not being used and doesn't have a place. Maybe that is clutter. But if I throw it away now, I know I will have to replace it later.
Anyway, (sorry for the run-on! ) my point is that I am desperate for help. I saw the presentation your are giving at NACHE. I wish I could get up there just for that. Sounds like what I need.
And thanks for making assumptions! I am always ready to listen to an opinion from someone I respect and trust.
__________________
In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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ALmom
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| Posted: June 09 2007 at 12:32am | IP Logged
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Molly:
I could have written this post a few years ago - and if you look at the litany of things we have used/done, you would get an even better picture. So maybe I can give a few things that helped us:
Pray, pray and pray some more (advice already given and you're probably already doing)
The other thing is to make a list of what you did and did not like about each thing you have used so far.
You said that you see gaps - exactly what are those gaps, write them down for each child. I have found in teaching multiple children of wide age ranges, that I just cannot focus on everything for every child every year - so we figure out some major goals to fill the most glaring gaps for each child and use whatever is easiest to cover the other areas.
You mentioned that your dh is unhappy. This is a great time to aknowledge his leadership. Ask him to help you by being very honest about what he sees. When you have written out a list of what did and did not work with each thing you have done so far, let your dh add to the list.
Then look at yourself. All of us have to be realistic about our own energy and talents. I am not good at group teaching, never have been. I cannot do unit studies or things that combine dc in lessons. I don't have time to spend endless hours each day discussing with each child (attempting to do this would only be a sure case of burnout). I do know that discussion and interaction are an essential element of learning - but we have to do this in ways that fit our family - so clearly written essay questions, some sort of output, etc. helps me narrow down what is most essential for me to discuss with dc and the rest happens more informally at suppertime. That eliminates some things that I don't have to stew over - too mom intensive, too much group work, etc. Where do you need the most support, exactly what kind of support. This will help you narrow things down.
Pray some more. Take your dh input very, very seriously.
Narrow down ideas, run them by dh and then call and talk very directly to each possible curriculum provider you might be considering. Report back to dh and pray some more.
Then make a decision and don't look back and try to second guess. Perfection is not required, an adequate education is. Ask God to open and close doors while you try to make the final decisions.
You mentioned that with Kolbe, you would change half the booklists. Well, I do that - BUT I do have their help in keeping me from knee jerking and I am more confident so my children are more confident. Don't laugh - but I do Kolbe but use RC History, substitute some in literature, skip or substitute for a lot of the grammar, etc. I don't use voyages .... Looking at curriculum's booklists is really only a start. You really need to know what kind of support you need, how much it will cost, etc. In desperation, we have hobbled together a Latin tutor (I absolutely will not teach foreign languages myself and I will not have dc teaching themselves or doing on-line - just kills desire in my dc). Things can be done, but you really need to have a good assessment of each child and yourself - and dh vision of this whole thing.
We'll pray as we know you have been struggling with this for a while. Also know that everyone that has homeschooled high school around here says that there is a huge learning curve with the first (we found this as well) and they felt a lot of negatives with this first one that aren't there for the rest. Take heart!
Janet
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teachingmyown
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| Posted: June 18 2007 at 7:54pm | IP Logged
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Thanks Janet! I love reading your posts! You make me feel sane, and hopeful that I can pull this together.
I have gotten sidetracked with other issues, or maybe I just got so overwhelmed that I switched focus. Pretty typical for me.
I need to make the lists you suggest and spend several hours uninterrupted to make some decisions. I am going to a homeschool conference in a couple of weeks. A rep from Sonlight will be there. I want to look over their new LA program, it sounds really good. Unfortunately, it isn't a Catholic conference so I won't get to look at things like Kolbe hands-on again. But I have used them before, so I know what I would be getting.
You have me looking at RC History now just to complicate things. Thanks a lot!
Oh goodness, I am pitiful. I am so grateful for the great support I receive from you wonderful ladies. I would really be lost without you. 
__________________
In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: Pre-conference panic
