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Maturemomg
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| Posted: March 03 2007 at 2:13pm | IP Logged
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with my first post!
Basically I am a sort of unschooler. We do some math sometimes, I did teach reading (some, sort of, some learned on ther own), we do have (and sometimes use) some textbooks. Right now I AM doing a neat writing course with the kids.  I have pretty much always "taught" this way. I recall the year I was worried when they had to take a standardized test with science on it. We had never "done" science as a subject! My gut feeling was that we live in a rural area near a lake- they simply get science. And they did fine on the test.
We have always homeschooled from pre-K (whatever) through high school.
Anyway, my oldest is 28, graduated Magna Cum Laude from college. He is one who has dyslexia and was a SLOW reader and LOUSY writer (still is). Doing well with a good job.
Next is ds, 25. Navy submariner. Excelling in the Navy. He did say to me when he first went in (after a few months) that had I "made" him do chemistry, he could now be studying Nuclear Engineering. I just laughed and told him he has a fine brain and IF he wants to study Nuclear Engineering, he is certainly capable of it! (This was one of those "boys" who needed to move and never did a worksheet without MUCH pain and anguish, you know the type!) Anyway, being a Nuclear Engineer would mean about 7 years in the classroom (sitting at a desk) and he promptly dismissed that idea! He is married with one dd, and doing very well. Twice has been up for Sailor of the Year (MAJOR honor). I was kind of surprised (shouldn't have been, but sometimes we parents don't see our kids objectively) when at Boot camp he was awarded Honor Recruit. This means all around most outstanding (of about 600). Now, I knew he was good at some things, but the "acadmeic" stuff I never considered outstanding. But he did well enough in ALL areas to warrant the honor! he was a slow reader, and didn't really get it until about 12-13. And never was a bookworm.
Next is dd, 23. A VERY poor reader. To this day. She did go to community college and become a cosmetologist adn is doing VERY well at that. Her poor reading DOES hinder her in some areas (always has), but she has also learned to compensate. Things like the written test for state cosemetology license needed to be retaken several times before passing ([prtly due to poor reading skills, partly due to fears of written tests). She is happily married with 2 kids, likes her job and life, bought her own house at 21 (no help from anyone). I'd say successful.
And more kids still at home, down to age 3.
But my point is, I have raised successful with basically unschoolering. It seems what they "miss" and discover tehy need, they pick up. My oldest NEVER did any kind of research or term paper (at MOST I'd say a simple book report maybe a few times!), yet in college produced some amazing things.
It does work. Better than more formal homeschooling? I don't know. I have always thought that a more structured and disciplined lifestyle would have been better. But I lack that quality and I need to have it to make the house/life run that way. So, thus far, it hasn't happened! And they seem to have survived and done well anyway...
Yours in Christ,
Kathy
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JuliaT
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| Posted: March 03 2007 at 2:28pm | IP Logged
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Kathy, welcome to the group!
Your post has been very encouraging to me. I am contemplating abandoning formal schooling and go the unschooling route. We took last week off because ps had spring break (my kids are old enough now that they know when their friends get a break :)) We did so much last week. It was fun. We learned about tangrams, played math games on the computer. My dd made notebook pages on Neptune and Pluto. She did this on her own accord. We had a very pleasant week.
Even though I feel that this is what we need right now, there is a part of me that is afraid they will fall behind as far as school goes. Your post, though, has made me see that this is not the case. I think we will take the plunge for awhile and see what happens.
Thanks again for posting.
Blessings,
Julia
mom to 3(7,6,4)
http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/Juliainsk
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Mary G
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| Posted: March 03 2007 at 2:30pm | IP Logged
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Welcome Kathy! Wow -- sounds like you are experienced and very successfully, too!
I'm bordering on unschooling -- more and more as I homeschool. My brother went to the the Academy and was a nuclear engineer on subs (and MET his lovely wife in Naples, Italy!).
But, I digress -- again, welcome to the boards and so glad you jumped in....
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MaryG
3 boys (22, 12, 8)2 girls (20, 11)
my website that combines my schooling, hand-knits work, writing and everything else in one spot!
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chicken lady
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| Posted: March 03 2007 at 3:17pm | IP Logged
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Welcome Kathy your words are music to my ears today! I unschool and every now and again I need to hear success stories, to remind me of what I am doing and why
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Willa
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| Posted: March 03 2007 at 5:14pm | IP Logged
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Maturemomg wrote:
| I have always thought that a more structured and disciplined lifestyle would have been better. But I lack that quality and I need to have it to make the house/life run that way. So, thus far, it hasn't happened! And they seem to have survived and done well anyway... |
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Welcome -- and what a neat success story.
I just wanted to quote that one part you wrote. I used to think more structure would be better too, and regret that myself or my kids weren't able to accomplish that kind of structured learning.
Since reading so much about unschooling and being on the unschooling list and exploring different ways of learning at home, I've realized it isn't necessarily a flaw to be unstructured.
I think it's just DIFFERENT.... looks different, feels different. I suppose anything can be a flaw if carried to an extreme -- even structure and order : ). Those things are means to an end, not ends in themselves.
For Lent, I am reading a book which makes the point that we each have our own individual ways of being sanctified.... what works for someone else isn't always what works for us personally. For example, St Therese of the Little Flower said that fear might be bracing and challenging for some types, but for her it was paralyzing.... she flew upwards by love, not fear.
I think this is true with homeschooling to some extent, too.... not the part about fear and love specifically, but just that different people might take different roads to the same result. I have to keep my eyes on what works for us. So it's really nice to hear your story. Thanks for sharing.
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Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
Take Up and Read
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Paula in MN
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| Posted: March 03 2007 at 5:41pm | IP Logged
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Kathy, your story is very inspirational. Thanks for sharing it. And Willa, I'm one of those organized people, and you are so right! Structure and order CAN be a flaw if carried to an extreme. Something I'm working on during Lent!
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 Paula
A Catholic Harvest
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chicken lady
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| Posted: March 03 2007 at 6:19pm | IP Logged
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Thanks Willa I loved your post! It makes me feel more accepting of my mess! I am trying so hard this lent to declutter but it is a HUGE job!
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4 lads mom
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| Posted: March 03 2007 at 7:00pm | IP Logged
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Kathy,
What a great post!!! Thanks for sharing....we do what Theresa at "lapaz farm" describes as "us-schooling". I LOVE that term. (Theresa, please don't copywrite it!! )
Kathy, do you find your kids gravitating to the TV or computer a lot when you don't have "things" to do with them? Just curious how you handle all of that.....
Please keep posting, I would love to hear more!
4 Lads' Mom with baby due in Sept.
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Maturemomg
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| Posted: March 03 2007 at 7:27pm | IP Logged
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4 Lads:
SOME of my kids would do that- gravitate towards TV and computer.
Dd, 12, would read or be outside wuith her horses. (NOT "would", but "is".)
Ds, 15 and 17, would do TV and computer. TV is not a problem as we are rural and do not have cable. We only get 2 channels and to get THEM, someone has to climb outside on the roof and connect the antenna to the chimney and run it in through the window. (We did this so my dad could watch ball games when he came down to visit.) Obviously a major deal- not done very often. We do sometimes do vidoes. I have a lock for the TV. (I am sorry I cannot trust some of my kids to NOT watch TV when not permitted to do so, but for some it si too great a temptation. By locking it, that temptaion is removed. I am a but ashamed to say that, but I wnat to be honest.) Right now the TV is put away for Lent- makes it easy. Over the last 30 years, probably half of that time we have had NO TV (or videos). Being TV free for Lent makes me think we should perhaps go this route again (we are off and on with it). But even when "on", there is no TV per se, just occassional videos and DVDs.
I also limit their computer time. While SOME of their activties on the computer might be edifying (vs time- wasting), time is simply limited. (Again, with passwords, Chaperone is also good software that enhances parental control over computer use.)
Hopefully the kids will eventually learn self-discipline. But until they do, I will provide controls/limits. To be honest, at 52, I lack self discipline! It is a life long achievement for most of us. I "help myself" by trying to limit temptation for me as well (such as not having sweets in the house).
Yours in Christ,
Kathy
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Mary G
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| Posted: March 03 2007 at 10:17pm | IP Logged
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Maturemomg wrote:
Hopefully the kids will eventually learn self-discipline. But until they do, I will provide controls/limits. To be honest, at 52, I lack self discipline! It is a life long achievement for most of us. I "help myself" by trying to limit temptation for me as well (such as not having sweets in the house).
Yours in Christ,
Kathy |
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Boy, Kathy, you and I are sounding more and more "sympatico"! I try to keep the kids to 30 minutes but then they all go over a bit -- probably cuz mom is so busy on the computer, I'm not noticing .... 
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MaryG
3 boys (22, 12, 8)2 girls (20, 11)
my website that combines my schooling, hand-knits work, writing and everything else in one spot!
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Paula in MN
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| Posted: March 03 2007 at 10:33pm | IP Logged
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Kathy, I have not heard of Chaperone before. Is that a software program for passwords?
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Paula
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Leonie
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| Posted: March 04 2007 at 5:35am | IP Logged
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Welcome, Kathy!
I loved to read your story and look forward to your unschooly input on this forum.
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Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
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Maturemomg
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| Posted: March 04 2007 at 9:05am | IP Logged
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Chaperone is the ONLY program I found that actaully allows you to CONTROL computer use. You can set time limits (specific times)for internet and/or computer use. You can allow ONLY certain sites OR block certain sites. You can allow only certain programs OR block certain programs.
For example, you might allow unlimited use of MS Word, a math drill program, and X, Y, and Z. But only 30 minutes per day of ANY other computer use (with or without internet). (This assumes you have no games or things in general on your computer that are unacceptable for the kids to use, otehrwise you woudl haev to set it up differently.)
There are internet filters out there, as well as programs taht tell you what has been done on your computer. This is much better. But, alas, I am NOT sure if they are still there. I believe they have merged with another company. Don't know if the products are still availabel. If you look and can't find it, let me know and I'll see waht I can dig up.
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: March 04 2007 at 6:53pm | IP Logged
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I'm a great believer in padlocks Why put unnecessary temptation in the children's way (and frustration in mine).. no one would think locking up guns or cleaning supplies a bad thing.. tv is just a bit different level of "bad thing".. if it needs a lock.. sure is easier on everyone to just use it. 
We've been sick here and have had miserable weather.. this week is looking up.. we still have library movies.. and those go back Wednesday. I'm thinking we need to borrown NO movies next week and get the tv back to the level it belongs at.
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G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
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Willa
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Not to be controversial in the least, but genuinely wondering? how do padlocks and controls fit in with unschooling? I have never been able to figure out quite how to reconcile the two things myself, so am interested in others' thoughts. This is why I call myself a "sort of" unschooler, too, meaning that we do things informally and flexibly and try to work on progressing in virtue rather than simply following some outside standard.
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Willa
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Take Up and Read
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JodieLyn
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They fit in the same way any limits fit in.. if you don't allow your children to run in the street, if they're not allowed to watch R rated movies, if they've got a bedtime.. you've set a limit. Unschooling isn't about unparenting imo.. so there are limits usually based on the child's age and what's appropriate.. learning happens in life, you don't have to contrive it.. or limit many subjects based on age.. is there any virtue in learning World History in 9th grade and US History in 10th.. no, of course not.. there may not even be any virtue in spliting up history at that level.
But children need external limits to learn self control before they can impose their own internal limits.
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G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Maturemomg
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| Posted: March 04 2007 at 7:18pm | IP Logged
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Yes, I second what Jodie says.
We put "padlocks" on things so toddlers can't get hurt (as in outlet covers). Or at least most of us do.
Okay, let's start this a as new thread....
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Leonie
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| Posted: March 04 2007 at 7:28pm | IP Logged
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For me, there is also an issue of trust.
Yes, we have some limits - thats why, like Willa, I say I am unschooly rather than an unschooler.
And trust and limits are both areas that are often discussed on unschooling lists - hot topics for unschoolers?
I do find our limits are a lot less than many other limits of many other families. Ours are few and far between and seem relaxed to others - just right to us!
But we don't have padlocks, etc for TV/computers/cable. With toddlers, we just moved things to top cupboards. With older kids, we talk, we have some time limits and content limits, we play video games and watch TV/films together and this helps with discussion and limits and learning to self limit.
I think we provide some external limits and some freedom to find personal limits - it really is different for each family and often for each child in a family...
And sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't! But we probably play more video games and watch more DVDs than some other homeschooling families.
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Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
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JodieLyn
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you know.. I think some of this is also going to depend on your children and your house.. I don't have enough "up" to get important things out of toddler reach.. combined with the fact that I have climbers.. I once found my oldest son.. at age 3.. in the rafters in the garage  he'd gotten up there with no ladder.. just used boxes and shelves and the like.. so with my small short little house.. there's just not many natural physical limits.
You could take the tv out altogether.. and somehow that is ok.. but enforcing limits with locks seems "over the top" to people.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Leonie
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| Posted: March 04 2007 at 8:19pm | IP Logged
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JodieLyn wrote:
| You could take the tv out altogether.. and somehow that is ok.. but enforcing limits with locks seems "over the top" to people. |
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No, not "over the top" - just different. I was sharing how those attracted to unschooling often have different rules and lifestyles - I think we each take what works for us. And its fine to discuss these differences.
I'd die without my TV/DVD player! How could I do my workout DVDs?
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Leonie in Sydney
Living Without School
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: Okay- I'll jump in here
