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Subject Topic: computer games. . . help me out on this Post ReplyPost New Topic
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monica
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Posted: Feb 17 2007 at 2:06am | IP Logged Quote monica

OK, this is one of those things that dh and i feel in our "gut" is true, but i need some help from been there done that moms. Our ds (4yo) LOVES to watch movies, so we make it a reward for "good listening" meaning if he does a great job he can watch one of his 1/2 hr videos every couple days. we have been very very restrictive of his screen time because 1) it seems like a waste of his time to be sitting in front of a screen when he could be playing/ learning and 2) he has vision problems in one eye, and we dont want to make it worse.
we have friends with kids younger than ours who let them watch movies and play video games (not even educational games) for an hour or so EVERYDAY. and my mom keeps wanting to get our son some computer games, which i know he would love, but i dont think they would be good for him overall.
so, is there anyone else out there who struggles with keeping their littles from becoming attached to the computer or TV. I am talking preschoolers here, of course older kids are a whole different ballgame, and obviously i am using a computer, so i am not against them in general, it just seems like childhood was meant to be spent DOING, not just watching.
sorry, rambling insecurities of a young mother.
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lapazfarm
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Posted: Feb 17 2007 at 8:38am | IP Logged Quote lapazfarm

I agree with you. My 5yo gets on the computer (starfall.com) maybe once a week, tops.

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stacykay
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Posted: Feb 17 2007 at 9:19am | IP Logged Quote stacykay

Monica,
you are not the only one!

We have struggled with this. My oldest is almost, 19! So, when he and our next two dss were little, we didn't have to worry about the computer/game factor, because we didn't have them!

Now that ds has a laptop, and 16yods needs the computer for school, and yes, they have games (but they do ask before they play, if they can, and there is a time limit) the younger ones are clamoring for "their turn."

I also see it as a huge time-waster. Fortunately, they do prefer outside play to inside, but ... still... My 5yods wants to play. Because we now have games, I made sure to purchase a couple of pre-school ones (we don't allow anything other than "E" in the house- you really have to watch those ratings! ) 5yods may play for 20 minutes a day. No more. And that is the first privilege I take away when I discipline.

I limit the 11yo to 30 minutes, and the 8 yo to 25. I am very strict on this.

It is so much nicer to hear them playing with their friends or legos (even 2yods was having his animals talk to each other last night... so cute.) And I have seen in the neighborhood kids (maybe not all kids, but evident in our local kids,) who don't have such restrictions on computer/game time, a lack in imagination and creativity in play when they are over.

God Bless,
Stacy in MI


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joann10
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Posted: Feb 17 2007 at 9:22am | IP Logged Quote joann10

Our rules about all 'electronics' is nothing during a school week. This includes everyone from 1 to 16. Our oldest do watch movies or get on the computer after the others are in bed.

The school kids are allowed to use the computer for school work with moms approval ahead of time. This has seemed to work for us.

On weekends they are allowed approved movies or computer time but we find that very often they find other, more creative, things to do on their own.

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Carole N.
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Posted: Feb 17 2007 at 9:25am | IP Logged Quote Carole N.

My children are older now, so they use the computer more in their learning. But when they were younger they had very limited access to the computer. And once again, learning games. I would definitely strive to keep computer time at a minimum. I worry that at times that the computer may take over our lives--but that is another story!

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cathhomeschool
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Posted: Feb 17 2007 at 10:10am | IP Logged Quote cathhomeschool

I have a slightly different take on this. I would much prefer to see my children playing all the time, but I do allow video games. When my older two were small (4-6), we had Elmo's preschool and a couple of other games like that. They played, though I can't remember how often. I didn't have hard and fast rules, but I did limit it.

Now my older two are 11 and almost 13, and my younger two are 4 and 5. We had the "no video games during the school week" rule, but it just made Saturdays more difficult. Now we let them each have 30 minutes a day on the video games after all their schoolwork is done if they finish by 4pm. They usually play 2 player games so one little one is playing with one older one. These are completely non-educational games, but it has done wonders for their willingness to finish their schoolwork and I think that it is an appropriate reward. They spend much of the day playing before that and do go outside almost every day. They work on art project and lego structures, they color and build, they do school and have fun. There are days that we are busy or out and so they don't get their 30 minutes, but then usually they get more time on Saturdays (no time on Sundays), so it works out.

All that being said, I did fight the video game thing as long as possible. There were those in the extended family that wanted to get us games for years and I said, "Not yet!" I don't think that those things are bad, I just wanted to wait. The littles are getting things earlier than the older two, but that's just part of having that big age gap.

I see educational games completely differently. I don't mind letting my littles get on the computer a bit to learn typing or letter and things. They still use the Elmo's preschool that my older two used. It is not every day or even every week and isn't scheduled at all. It's sort of random and kept to 30 min. at a time. They do sit at the computer and "type" for a few minutes almost every day (in Word or in an IM window). They practice numbers and letters and ask me what they've written. Then they run off to play again.

Each family is different and is comfortable with different things. What works for us and is appropriate for us will seem extravagant or restrictive to others. That's fine. It doesn't really matter what others do, you have to do what you feel is best for your family. (Movies are a great example of this in our family. My older two haven't seen much of what others their ages have seen, and same goes for younger two, and that's fine. I get suggestions and advice from others and then we do what we feel is best.)

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ALmom
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Posted: Feb 17 2007 at 6:34pm | IP Logged Quote ALmom

Well, we have tried to strictly limit TV, video/computer games and computer time and limit it to strictly educational research, typing, etc. (Ie even learning games on the computer are restricted). We did this quite successfully until the last year or so.

The rule never really was needed for our oldest 2 (dd), but our boys are addicted - and obviously I have become so too.    We got pretty bad about the time our 19 yo started getting presents for her brothers - computer games about wwII aircraft and simulation battles. My dh noticed a real problem and put his foot down insisting that computer games be restricted to 20 minutes on weekends. All four boys are on the computer for everyone's 20 minutes because they are watching the battle. I do know that we have all struggled with vision problems and computers do aggravate the problem so that is another reason.

This is one decision (restricting computer and TV time) we have never regretted. Now we just regret getting lax with ourselves and the younger because we have olders and youngers and are glad to be re restricting access in our house. One thing we have noticed is that our olders are more able to be disciplined when we got lax and seem to self-restrict. Neither of the older 2 are addicted and our college dd is not addicted to computer stuff even though, away from home, she is certainly freer to decide her own schedule and her computer came with plenty of games. (Guess that piano passion she developed keeps her busy with other things ). Our 2nd dd gets absolutely frustrated with her brothers for always being on the computer. She is totally uninterested in computer games and occassionally uses the computer to e-mail friends or her sister. Our others who were exposed earlier are addicted. Now, I don't know if this is due to the earlier exposure or to the difference in gender or interests. But the boys, for their own good, need some restriction of time spent.

Janet
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TracyQ
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Posted: Feb 19 2007 at 2:12pm | IP Logged Quote TracyQ

You really need to do what you feel the Lord leads you to do. The one thing I've learned is that God really does direct us uniquely according to each child. How he directs me with one child has been different than another. The one thing I've always tried is to create a balance in our home in everything. That has always served us well.

Right now, the boys are at Cyberjocks with their friend next door, paying to play videogames. (They're 16yo, and 14yo). They don't do this often, but we are off of school today, and they enjoy doing this once in awhile, and it's a place to go for them, as they're limited in terms of having places to go, and they need that once in awhile.

They do have a pretty good amount of time daily, but also have time to be creative, which they are. They are older too, and the computer is a big deal for them. We definitely limited them much more when they were little. It's always so hard to make decisions, but God is always faithful to lead us when we seek His will. Trust your gut....it's usually how the Holy Spirit leads us. You're doing just great!

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lamamaloca
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Posted: Feb 19 2007 at 7:21pm | IP Logged Quote lamamaloca

I'd like to work on a "no computer games" rule for my husband. . .

Seriously, my husband is a game addict, so my boys are, too. They'll ask him to play Rome Total War so they can watch. We don't even have a TV, but they watch movies on the computer far more than they should. I would like to cut way down on this, but haven't had much luck.
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mellyrose
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Posted: Feb 20 2007 at 3:05pm | IP Logged Quote mellyrose

My kids are still young (4 & 6). They have limited computer time on educational sites and both have Leapsters to play with. DH wants to get them Nintendo DS's, but I've been holding back. They spend lots of time in creative play, and so far are pretty good about self-policing themselves. My 4 yr old will play for a bit, but would much rather be doing something active.

On a related note -- anybody see this recent article?

It states that a study shows that surgeons who are good video game players are also better surgeons! I didn't click through to the actual article from the LA Times, but thought it interesting.

Melanie
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marihalojen
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Posted: Feb 20 2007 at 3:56pm | IP Logged Quote marihalojen

Melanie, that article reminded me of a Mission at Aquarius, they were practicing tele-robotic surgery, a doc in Canada was performing on a mannequin in the Aquarius. He was abysmal at it but our local gaming obsessed diver was stupendous!

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