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JSchaaf
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| Posted: Feb 15 2007 at 7:27am | IP Logged
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I posted on my blog last night (but deleted the post this am!) that we have had a really bad past couple of weeks. My solution was to enroll the 4.5yo in preschool. I found a small Catholic school, out in the country (we live on the western edge of the city so it's only 10 min away) with an excellent preK program. So we signed Ally up. This was supposed to take care of all my problems-we would have a reason to get up and going in the morning and I would have 2.5 hours free to be productive with the 7 and 6 yo dd's.
I couldn't do it. The sobbing preschooler "PLEASE, Mommy, Don't make me go. I want to be home with you and sisters. Please!"
I just called and cancelled the enrollment. I do feel better. My mom says Allyson needs to separate at some point and that it's not going to get easier if I don't make her go.
Please tell me I did the right thing. Also (and I'll post about this separately) I need some preschool type activities for her to do. I have activity boxes (counting bears, lacing cards, etc) but Allyson looks at these as "toys" and wants "preschool stuff to do" (This comment, over the past few weeks, is what led me to consider preschool for her. What better place to find "preschool stuff"???)
I'm done rambling (and crying) now.
Jennifer
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julia s.
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| Posted: Feb 15 2007 at 7:58am | IP Logged
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Jennifer,
 Yes, in my opinion you did the right thing. When my oldest was in preschool and kindergarden all he did was say how he hated school and he just wanted to stay home and I didn't listen. It is one of my main regrets to this day. It took years to undo the damage of well-intentioned, yet thoroughly ill-suited educational process for my boy. Kids do know what they need and when they need it. And trust me she will let you know when she needs more space from you.
Honestly, for pre-school just play and have her join you in your day to day activities. That's it.
I know your mom means well. She loves you and your daughter, but she is not the one God entrusted your daughter to. You're doing fine. take a deep breath. It's only been a couple of hard weeks because you care so much and are a good mom. If you weren't it would have been easy. (This is the pep talk my husband gives me when I've had a rough time and he's right.)
Ok one more .
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julia
married to love of her life
with ds12 ds8 ds3 and ds1
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msclavel
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| Posted: Feb 15 2007 at 8:13am | IP Logged
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Jennifer, first of all, I will be praying for you. Moms sometimes say things that they think will help. Allyson will "separate" when she's good and ready and you needn't worry about anyone else's timeline. Goodness, why would be hoping our dear children are eager to leave the warmth and safety of their home and family?
Right now I have two preschoolers running about as I try to school the others. It is not easy. You'd think I'd have this figured out by now  .
Check out the Montessori thread for more ideas and do some searches on the forum. Off the top of my head here are some ideas, though I'm not sure what you darling means by "preschool stuff", most of preschool is play  :
Tracing letters in cornmeal or sand and maybe practice writing if she wants.
Counting and sorting beans/buttons.
I hear the Signing Time DVD's are big favorite.
Painting with watercolors.
Take index cards and draw simple zigzag and curving lines down the middle. She can then cut these and make her own matching puzzle.
Make her some file folder games (there is a thread with a whole bunch of websites- the only one I can think of now is preschoolprintables)
Read to her (I know this is tough when you need to give attention to the other kids) Maybe you could pick some good picture books you could all enjoy. My 6th grader still loves when we read picture books together.
Play games with everyone.
Go outside with everyone for nature study- though I'd think we'd need to be polar bears around here right now.
I'm sure someone else will chime in with even better ideas.
Don't fret. I have a first grader who is very resistant to anything that seems to schoolish and structured. It has been very challenging as her behavior often disrupts the older kids. And I admit  , on the worst days I wonder about sending her to school and have even threatened to (yikes!).
Also, others have said, February is always one of the hardest months for schooling, across the board. So if its been rough, know you are not alone. I've been homeschooling for 7 years and I still struggle to get through this time of year. Spring will be here soon !
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Essy
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YES...you did the absolute right thing. We are doing Pre FIAR here and loving it.
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Mom to Sarah(May 2002)and Christian (August 2003)
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lapazfarm
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| Posted: Feb 15 2007 at 8:17am | IP Logged
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Oh, Jennifer!
The idea that a child needs to be forcefully seperated from her mother "for her own good" is a modern one and it is wrong. Wrong for child and for mother.Your mother, though well meaning I am sure, is mistaken.
Please don't feel bad for being attached to your own children. It is the way God designed us.
You will get through this. I know it isn't easy, so please take advantage of all the support you can. We are here to help you. 
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Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
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Cay Gibson
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| Posted: Feb 15 2007 at 8:25am | IP Logged
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Play is definitely fine for PreK.
Essy mentioned, BFiar. That always use to pull us out of our Feb. funk. 
If she wants "preschool" just go to the store and get her those cheap little PK workbooks. Have the two older sisters "teach" her during a specialized time period. Works here.
Also, an added thought. Plan a field trip (perhaps based on one of the BFiar books). "The Big Green Pocketbook" would be perfect. And it would help you all to get out to combat the Feb. Funk.
If you feel better already then you certainly did the right thing. Definitely. As far as being "separate" a bit, sign her up in a dance class or gym.
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Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
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JennGM
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| Posted: Feb 15 2007 at 8:41am | IP Logged
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Such great advice!
I had a talk with my sister about February Funk. I have one preschooler, she has 5 girls under 10. We are not alone in thinking that it's February causing these problems. She had a discussion with a director of a Montessori school who had the same observation in the classroom -- the children less responsive or receptive, more aggressive, antsy... Call it cabin fever or possibly just a surge of energy reflecting the change in the sun's rays, getting ready for spring, it's hard on all of us. My little one almost seems like he underwent a personality change just this month! And I'm feeling like I need some space!!!!
If your daughter wants to do "preschool" stuff check out your local Dollar Store. For Christmas, since my son has food allergies, he got some dollar store finds from my sister-in-law's mother, but they are really great. These are decks of cards, with a erase marker that have words, traceable letters to write the letters...wipe off easily and my son just loves them. AND...if your daughter just HAPPENS to use the marker on furniture (I'm just saying  ) it wipes off immediately.
The Leapfrog videos...they were highly praised here and I agree.
Our latest love is Playdoh. And we're doing a lot of cutting, coloring, glueing....
I'm struggling with just one because he does seem so needy for constant attention, but I don't agree with your mother. Your daughter belongs with you!
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Jennifer G. Miller
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Courtney
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Hey, Jennifer. I read your post late last night! I'm glad you followed your gut. My dd had one year of preschool and didn't enjoy it. We could've done without it easily! My ds has never attended. When I started dd in Kinder, ds was 3 and did activities like were mentioned above. I agree with others about buying some cheap workbooks so maybe she'll feel a part of instead of apart from in the schooling with your other dds. I was amazed at how intently my ds listened to read alouds for my ds when he was a preschooler. I think the key for him was to be with us, doing what we were doing. While your girls are doing math, your preschooler can play with the manipulatives. One thing we did get in preK which although it wasn't necessary made ds feel "big" was the Handwriting Without Tears preschool program. He liked that he had his own work to do while dd did her handwriting.
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Courtney in Texas
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Maria B.
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Jennifer:
When my son (who is now almost 18!) was pre-K he was so shy and attached to me in every way. I got plenty of advice from my well meaning grandmother and others that he needed to go to school and have playmates. At the time he had four little sisters. In my gut, I knew that was not the answer. Besides, what was wrong with him being shy. My dh was (and still is!) very reserved and somewhat shy. I just felt that in time Billy would "detach" from me when he was ready. Long story short, he has been homeschooled all the way through and is hoping to go to the Naval Academy this summer as part of the Class of 2011! Now it is me who is having trouble with attachment to my son and letting him "leave the nest"! You did the right thing!
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Maria in VA
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Becky Parker
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I think the whole thing about shyness is ridiculous. I love it when I can say "gee, my only child that is shy is the one that went to school until he was 8"! I firmly believe it is just the child's temperment and not a reason to put your child in school at all.
FWIW Jennifer, my mom has told me the same thing about each of my children when they hit that preschool age. I think it is just "the normal thing to do" in their point of view. My mom also thinks my kids run me ragged. I guess there are days when I believe that is true, but nobody ever said homeschooling would be easy. I think it is something that we are called to do so there is a peace in our hearts regarding this. It is hard at times, the house gets messed up, the kids aren't always perfect, etc. But it is a call none the less and we are given the grace to do all that we are called to do, whether we always feel that grace or not.
God bless you and I will pray for peaceful days. 2 more weeks and we'll be into March!
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Becky
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MarilynW
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lapazfarm wrote:
Oh, Jennifer!
The idea that a child needs to be forcefully seperated from her mother "for her own good" is a modern one and it is wrong. Wrong for child and for mother.Your mother, though well meaning I am sure, is mistaken.
Please don't feel bad for being attached to your own children. It is the way God designed us.
You will get through this. I know it isn't easy, so please take advantage of all the support you can. We are here to help you. |
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I agree with Teresa. It so irritates me that the modern world view is that "successful and well-adjusted" children are those whose parents have put them in preschool when they are still infants/toddlers - and so they have no separation issues. Kids who need and are attached to their parents are criticized. I get countless remarks from family about putting my little guy in preschool so that he gets "smart" and won't need me?? 
I have lots of preschool ideas to share - will try and get back tonight - just not feeling so good right now and cannot take a second snow day
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Anne McD
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I think you did the right thing too, Jennifer . I had my oldest in prek for about 2 months when I pulled him out and decided to homeschool. I couldn't understand why I was paying someone so he could play with other kids. Most of all, every morning he'd tell me he didn't want to go. He had a good time while he was there, but every morning, very matter of fact, he told me he didn't want to go. It was almost like he had resigned himself to it. If we're the heart of the family, I think God speaks clearly to us through our hearts. When it bothers you to leave your child in someone else's care, and you see no good reason to, that's a pretty clear sign to me.
By the way, he's only five now, and I've threatened him with putting him in school, too.
I agree with everything everyone else said about what she should be doing now. Building with blocks, puzzles, play-doh and coloring, reading . . . . Its all good. I also found a great book at the library called the Instant Curriculum, by Pam Schiller and Joan Rossano (sorry I didn't link-- I don't have the vaugest idea how to do it ) but its filled with great ideas to teach preschool/kindergarten - esque aged kids. Its also process, not product, oriented, so its not overwhelming to me.
Now I just need time to do it.
Is March here yet...!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
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Anne
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James 8
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Benedict Joseph 1
and baby on the way! 10/14
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SuzC
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Just a quick thought...it's not free, but we have used Brighter Vision at various times in the past. It was fun to get a box of goodies in the mail that were special for one child. Just a suggestion...joined with prayers!
Blessings ~
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Suz in TX
dd~12, dd~9, ds~8, ds~6, ds~4, ds~1
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Karen E.
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JSchaaf wrote:
My solution was to enroll the 4.5yo in preschool.
...
I couldn't do it. The sobbing preschooler "PLEASE, Mommy, Don't make me go. I want to be home with you and sisters. Please!"
...
I just called and cancelled the enrollment. I do feel better. My mom says Allyson needs to separate at some point and that it's not going to get easier if I don't make her go. |
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Oh, Jennifer,
Big hugs to you! Yes, I think you did the right thing! And good for you for listening to your daughter.
If I recall, your mother is involved in the education system? It's only natural, then, that her point of view will be that early separation is a good thing, and that the experts can do the best job.
But, we homeschooling parents tend to find that what seems "natural" to the world we live in is actually quite unnatural for little children. Four is still so tiny! Despite what the world thinks about how "independent" a 4 yo should be, it's still so young! My four year old still, sometimes, doesn't want to go play with a friend. She wants me. And there's nothing wrong with that.
Also, which homeschooling expert was it who said, "Never make any major changes in February!"? I can't remember who said it, but I think it was on target, given how I often feel in February.
JSchaaf wrote:
| I need some preschool type activities for her to do. I have activity boxes (counting bears, lacing cards, etc) but Allyson looks at these as "toys" and wants "preschool stuff to do" |
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My "Ramona" loves to do "school things" too, when her sisters are working. So, I often include her as much as I can. I don't stress about it, don't require it, and don't care if she does it or not, but often she opts in.
I have old workbooks sitting around that she gets out to color in, to "do math", or to scribble on, write her name, etc., practice printing, etc.
I've made super easy little activities for her, such as this: draw shapes on a piece of paper. On a separate paper, draw the same shapes, then let her cut them out (if she's not cutting yet, precut this stuff), and glue them onto the matching shapes.
Workbooks that include stickers are lots of fun for little ones who want to "work."
Bead stringing is popular here.
Clay is always welcome, too.
One of my girls used to love those little paint books where the paint colors are on the top of the page, and you just add a little water? Very un-messy "painting." (Do they still make those?)
Giving her coins to play with, to "do math" is something else Ramona loves.
I hope some of these are helpful! And, one last to you! Hang in there! We're here for you, even if a bunch of the world is not ....
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God bless,
Karen E.
mom to three on earth, and several souls in God's care
Visit my blog, with its shockingly clever title, "Karen Edmisten."
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cathhomeschool
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Yes, you did the right thing! I don't think that we gain anything (and actually do much damage) when we push children into situations that they are not ready to meet. Every child is different, and you guys have been through so much these last couple of years. As Karen said, remember that you and your mother don't see eye to eye on what's educationally best for your children. You do what you feel is best. Allyson will separate when she's good and ready.
Others have given great preschool ideas. And did you see the )other current preschool thread (in Real Learning)? Great ideas there too.
(Edited to add hugs , which I intended to add, but my fingers posted before the brain caught up! )
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Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: February Funk/Preschool
