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Cheryl
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| Posted: Oct 12 2006 at 9:38pm | IP Logged
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I just posted some questions on the Montessori board and I thought I'd throw out this question here.
How do you handle homeschooling with more than four children?
Lately I've been feeling like my ds 5 and my dd 4 need so much of my attention. My ds 7 doesn't need much attention, but since I'm trying to teach him to read and prepare him for his First Communion and keep him up to a 2nd grade math level, he's getting it. Then there's my 7 month old who's learning to crawl. I actually saw her pull herself up to get my keys last week! I don't want to sound like I'm complaining. My dc are great! But I would like to know if you feel you are able to give all of your dc the attention they need. And how do you do it? 
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Cheryl
Wife to Bob ('97)
Mom to Matthew 13, Joseph 11, Sarah 10, Rachel 6, Hannah almost 4 and Mary 1
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mom2mpr
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| Posted: Oct 13 2006 at 6:56am | IP Logged
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Cheryl,
I am there with you and I only have 2 kids and one attention seeking puppy. I am struggling with making sure everyones "needs" get met and a lot of days it appears I won't be able to do it to their satisfaction--but, I try, and I pray-a lot 
Dd is 3 and seems to need me ALL the time-to go potty, to get her clothes from upstairs, to read to her, color with her, push her on the swing,etc. Ds who is 8, while he is OK playing alone gets cranky and has sibling issues if I don't make some time to listen to his descriptions of his Lego inventions or car drawings. Most days "School" ends up being "our time" and that just doesn't cut it for him. Dpup is a 9 month old lab, has been cooped up for a few days due to weather and is so good at finding new toys-that aren't hers-if you know what I mean So I spend a lot of time taking said "toys" out of her mouth and redirecting her to HER toys. A lot.
Then there is the house, that I try to ignore but I do need to keep the kitchen in order so we can eat. That one falls waaaaay down on the list BUT it gets cleaned up before the next meal-just makes mealtime longer when they are hungry-ahhh, should work on that.
Then there is ME!! Yes, me. I NEED to work out and exercise. This is not a want, a need! My back is killing me and the only way to improve the situation is to exercise-but, alas, I have not found the time yet.
There are just not enough hours in the day but I am trying to do it all! I think I needed to realize it isn't going to be perfect(I am the perfectionist type) and I do the best I can. I try to play with the dc before bed and maybe one other time during the day. And I pray to Mary quite often to help me prioritize, my dc are only going to need me for a little while more--ds is almost 9, I do need to enjoy them and help them grow.
I guess I don't have an answer, just letting you know I have been struggling with this issue lately too!
Anne
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Angel
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| Posted: Oct 13 2006 at 5:17pm | IP Logged
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Cheryl,
I completely understand!  There's nothing like a new crawler (or two) to add some chaos into the equation as well.
My babies are just getting ready to walk. They seldom nap, and they are always busy, busy, busy. While I am working with the older children, they are finding new things to dismantle. No one can work on the floor anymore. No one can put anything on a low table or on a low shelf unless they want to see it scattered to the four corners of the earth. And while I am trying to deal with one disaster, there is always another happening right behind me.
I do not feel like I give all my dc the attention I want to give them. I *hope* I manage to give them *mostly* what they need, but what having twins has taught me is that I just can't be there for everybody all the time. They have to take turns, even the babies. For example, the babies have started doing this thing where they both want me to rock them to sleep separately, except they want to be separately rocked to sleep at the same time. This is impossible. If I try to rock them both together, one of them always flips out. If I put down the calm one to rock the one who's flipping out, the one I just put down will start flipping out. So one of them just has to flip out for a while. I don't believe in letting babies cry, and yet, what can I do? I'm just trying to make the best of a bad situation.
Having a routine or a schedule does help. If the kids know that I will do such and such with one of them at such and such a time, and that I will get to the other one at such and such a time, they start to expect that they may have to do things independently for a while while I'm helping someone else. Of course the babies are the wild cards in that situation, and nothing sends the morning into a downward spiral faster than a pair of fussy babies, or three dirty diapers that need to be changed right now in a row. We just have to try to pick up where we left off.
I do feel as if I am making some compromises right now that I'd rather not make, as I'd rather we followed a much more Montessori-ish plan than we are right now. But trying to make an environment that encompasses ages 1-10 is mind-boggling in a logistical sense (at least for me it is.) Add in my 10 yo with ADHD and there are more problems.
My 7 yo in particular really seems to get lost in the shuffle sometimes. She's the only girl and she asks to do certain things with me -- drawing, learning to knit, learning to cook -- but it's so hard to sit down and do some of those things when I have to jump up every 10 seconds to remove something else from a baby's mouth (when I'd *thought* the area was "safe".) I need to work harder on that.
I guess I've come to the conclusion that things are not going to operate perfectly around here, especially when the twins are little. I try to focus on making small changes, because sometimes if I look at the big picture I get overwhelmed.
I guess I don't really have any solutions for you, but just wanted to let you know I'm in the same boat!
--Angela
Mom to 3+2
Three Plus Two
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ALmom
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| Posted: Oct 13 2006 at 9:03pm | IP Logged
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No solutions here either since we experience the same thing.
With school, I do try to rotate which child I start with - and I include the non-schoolers in this rotation. What generally happens is that life takes over and I generally only get to work with the first 1 or 2 on my list. (Obviously real needs take precedence over all else - so the scraped knee is tended or the child that is totally out of sorts). By rotating, I've at least touched base with everyone during the week. I still don't get to all I want and do sometimes feel like one or the other is falling through the cracks so to speak and then we adjust and try to attend to this one. Accepting that we all have to work together more and I don't have to do everything equal. Not every child has outside activities, not every child gets xyz but we do try to taylor to the individual needs and interests. Looking for ideas as well.
Janet
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ShawnaB
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| Posted: Oct 15 2006 at 5:21pm | IP Logged
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Oh my!! Angela, you could be describing my house!!! But I only have 4 children. I laughed my head off at your decription!
No, no, no....I do not give everyone the attention that they WANT. I often feel guilt, guilt, guilt. I am constantly trying to find balance, new tricks, better organization and time managment, and discover God's perspective on what is required of me. I do the best I can, and that is often not enough, and that keeps me running back to God for help in each moment.
I stumbled onto [URL=www.preschoolersandpeace.com]this site[/URL, called Preschoolers and Peace and learned a few tricks for homeschooling with littles. This mom says that her favorite product for homeschooling with toddlers is a GATE! Angela, I SO relate to your scenario. Our "twins" are just over a year and on a mission to destroy everything in their path. About 2 months ago, we invested in several gates and fences and rearranged the furniture so that there is a large, safe playspace for Thing One and Thing Two. It really limits how many fires I need to put out. Our school room is gated/fenced in half, with one side for babies, and the other a no-baby zone.
The babies are dropping their morning naps, which as you veteran moms know, is an challenging transition! When they are really fussy in the mornings and refuse to play while we do lessons, I will stop and attempt to rock and comfort them. Usually it is a disaster. Angela, you described us perfectly with the dual flipping out!! Its like, the more attention I give them, the more flipped out they become!
So now, I've taken to putting them in their cribs with a few favorite, reserved toys when they are inconsolible and its not yet the blessed naptime. Incredibly, they often become so content playing in their cribs. Mom is out of site, there is no competition, and stimulation is limited. They have actually played contentedly for an HOUR before!! After this "quiet time" they usually are good for another hour or so of playtime with the whole family before lunch.
So I don't know if that answers any questions. No, I don't feel like I give my children as much as I'd like to. I do my best by trying to have a plan but staying flexible, and praying for wisdom. Oh, and I try to never leave the house unless absolutely necessary!!
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Shawna, wife of Jacob, mom to Abraham 8 Amelia 5 and Jillian & Jonathan age 3 years http://www.psalm121family.com
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Maddie
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| Posted: Oct 15 2006 at 6:49pm | IP Logged
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preschoolers and peace
What a great resource. Thanks.
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~Maddie~
Wife to my dh and Momma of 9 dear ones
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: Giving everyone attention
