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CathinCoffeland
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| Posted: Sept 14 2006 at 9:30pm | IP Logged
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Im wondering if this is an age related concern or something that my dd will grow out or or maybe she is too much like me 
DD is constantly getting distracted by her imagaination frequently to the point of getting into trouble.
She is 5. Anything can be a trigger.
I hand her a stack of clothes to put in her closet and 10 min later find her in her room, stuffed animals dressed in them.
Her beans talk to her rice at dinner.
hordes of imaginary mice servents have all kinds of interesting opinions and experinces that are frequently shared through out the day.
When handed some math manipulative bears and asked if 3 bears meet three more how many are there , i get 17min (i timed her last time- those minutes do not included a potty break in the middle) of story telling about how the bears met in the woods and learned to share despite the big storm and a wolf getting them into trouble but i never get "six bears"
Often unless i go touch her on the shoulder and say her name repeatedly the flow of words does not stop and even them i have to get really "in her face" and loud sometimes.
She can be very helpful and can concentrate sometimes but her creative distraction can be exasperating.
yesterday was the last straw for me. i gave her a tray with a bunch of different magnets and objects to explore while i was cooking. The next thing i know the magnets were "talking" to each other. I sort of lost my cool and very firmly informed her that i had given her the materials to work with and that if she couldnt use them appropriately i would take them away. I told her that she had a lovely imagination but it couldnt keep getting in the way of other parts of her life.
well she looked shocked and hurt then grumpy and for a minute or two muttered under her breath but then suddenly she had started working with her little brother and the were really getting excited discovering the ways the magnets could and couldnt fit together and the patterns they could make and calling in daddy to show him their work. Exactly waht i had hoped for.
so now im torn. I dont want to shut down her creavity and imagination, but i do know it can be a problem, i spent much of my childhood locked away in mine and had trouble relating to people. I know that is not a problem for her she is a happy friendly little girl and has a stable home life that i lacked but still i can see it causing trouble with he ability to focus on chores and lessons. I keep things short because of her age but if she cant get clothes 20 ft away into her closet with our getting distracted it is a problem. I want her to be able to eplore something and learn about it not just fantasize about it. But i feel like a meanie.
it seems like we have plenty of creative outlets. we read family stories and act things out and have puppet show create books and art. she is just excesive.
any thoughts or insights would be apreciated.
Thanks Maggie (who still makes up stories in her head at red lights  )
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MicheleQ
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| Posted: Sept 14 2006 at 9:59pm | IP Logged
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I only have a minute (really) but your daughter sounds very right-brained to me . . and normal. I have some book recommendations, if you are interested I'll dig them up. They can help you understand better how she thinks and ways to teach her. I have a dd who's also right-brained - and another who is very left-brained. They share a room - you can imagine how well that goes over.
Sorry gotta go!
God bless,
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Cay Gibson
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| Posted: Sept 14 2006 at 11:01pm | IP Logged
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While tracking Willa's recent link, I ended up on her hsing blog and found this post on imagination:
Young Ones and Imagination
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Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
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Lissa
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| Posted: Sept 15 2006 at 7:04am | IP Logged
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Maggie, my two cents--your daughter sounds perfectly normal and lovely to me, and the behavior you've described sounds like exactly what she SHOULD be doing at age five. I actually just wrong a long post at my Lilting House blog about taking a relaxed approach to early childhood education. Your questions tie in perfectly!!
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I hand her a stack of clothes to put in her closet and 10 min later find her in her room, stuffed animals dressed in them. |
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Others may disagree with me here, but I wouldn't expect her to do chores unsupervised at that age; she should be doing household chores alongside you, with you modeling the appropriate ways of doing things. I know five year olds CAN be responsible enough to follow through on chores--and I don't always practice what I preach here, since I often lump my 5yo in with her big sisters when I say "go do your morning chores"--but I truly believe that under age six or seven, a child ought to be tagging along with mom, helping out side by side.
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| Her beans talk to her rice at dinner. |
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That's hilarious! Unless she is being too noisy/disruptive, I wouldn't curb it at all. If she isn't eating dinner because of the playing, I'd enter into the game with her and encourage her to send the beans & rice on an adventure down a dark tunnel.
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| hordes of imaginary mice servents have all kinds of interesting opinions and experiences that are frequently shared through out the day. |
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Normal, delightful, and not to be discouraged! (In fact, I'd be surreptitiously taking notes. That's a gold mine of great material! 
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| When handed some math manipulative bears and asked if 3 bears meet three more how many are there , i get 17min (i timed her last time- those minutes do not included a potty break in the middle) of story telling about how the bears met in the woods and learned to share despite the big storm and a wolf getting them into trouble but i never get "six bears" |
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Again, I know others may disagree, but at age 5 I wouldn't ask her to do any math problems with the bears; I'd just give them to her to play with. She'll stumble into some understanding of math concepts through the play, but I wouldn't make that the focus. And FWIW, my oldest went through a loooooonnnnng manipulative-bear obsession as a preschooler--those bears went with us everywhere for a while!--and even though we never did any "work" with them, she figured out all sorts of things about patterns and adding and subtracting just by playing with them, and now at age eleven she is the most math-hungry kid I know, no exaggeration. (She reads Jacobs math texts for fun, I kid you not.)
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| Often unless i go touch her on the shoulder and say her name repeatedly the flow of words does not stop and even them i have to get really "in her face" and loud sometimes. |
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Now she sounds like my husband, the writer.
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| She can be very helpful and can concentrate sometimes but her creative distraction can be exasperating. |
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I would try to engage her in my work, like folding laundry, and through conversation help her stay focused on the task for longer and longer periods. But at her age, a "long period" might be only ten or 15 minutes.
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| yesterday was the last straw for me. i gave her a tray with a bunch of different magnets and objects to explore while i was cooking. The next thing i know the magnets were "talking" to each other. |
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Truly, that sounds to me totally normal and to be expected. Most of the objects in my 5yo's world talk to each other also. It sounds like your frustration here arises from her using the magnets in a different way than you wished/expected, perhaps because you were seeing them as educational objects? As with the bears, I'd urge you to allow her to play freely with whatever manipulatives you provide. She'll learn so much from her make-believe. When those magnets start talking to each other and pushing one another away, she'll be absorbing heaps of understanding about magnetism without realizing it.
I think this is a great topic for discussion!
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Lissa
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marihalojen
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| Posted: Sept 15 2006 at 10:31am | IP Logged
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CathinCoffeland wrote:
| When handed some math manipulative bears and asked if 3 bears meet three more how many are there , i get 17min (i timed her last time- those minutes do not included a potty break in the middle) of story telling about how the bears met in the woods and learned to share despite the big storm and a wolf getting them into trouble but i never get "six bears" |
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Confession - I really dislike Math and I can trace it to three things.
1. My kindergarten teacher sent home a care package for me before going in to meet her before school started and there were the cutest little bears in the bag. I wanted to share bear stories with her and she wanted me to keep the bears in these circles on the table (if there are three bears in this circle and three bears in that circle, how many bears are in the big circle?) Not only could I not touch the bears, she was asking me the silliest questions that anybody would know the answer to...
So, maybe think about keeping the bears for word play and using blocks or something not quite as cute and cuddly for math? Or guide her story - the bears need cupcakes...how many? If friends show up, will there be enough? She might be ready for more challenging problems, either multi-step or larger problems? (Like I thought my teacher had a problem if she couldn't see there were 6 bears on the table, you know)
What were the other two reasons Math and I don't get along?
2. My second grade teacher (whom I adored - she looked just like Snow White and she had a twin!) said I got a math problem wrong and I still say I didn't, but it crushed me that I was wrong in front of the whole class. So in retaliation I spent the rest of the year changing all my subtraction problems to addition with one simple vertical line.
3. My Dad is a Math Whiz who solves complicated problems in his sleep. I could never even get a simple confirmation from him without going for a tour of the house looking for parametric curves or something, when all I wanted was a yes that 2x2 was really 4 before moving on to the next step. 
There is a huge push to do so much in Kindergarten now, kids need, like, 3years of preschool just to bone up for it and I think that is absolutely absurd. With your daughter I'd embrace the word play and plan tea parties and cook with her for the party and have her run and get 3 dolls and 2 teddy bears and 1 barbie, how many plates do we need to set out? Oh no!  There are only 3 cookies left, how can they share?
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cathhomeschool
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| Posted: Sept 15 2006 at 10:53am | IP Logged
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I ditto what Lissa and Jennifer said. I don't think you need to worry. Just let her play.
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Janette (4 boys - 22, 21, 15, 14)
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hylabrook1
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| Posted: Sept 15 2006 at 11:06am | IP Logged
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One of my children always "got lost" in the story aspects of word problems. "If Carlos was planning to build a bookshelf, and each piece of wood he bought was 6 feet long, and he wanted to make each shelf 3 feet wide, how many pieces of wood should he buy to make a 4-shelf bookshelf?" This was met by "Carlos must be Spanish. If he were English, would his name be Charles? If he built his shelf 6 feet wide, he wouldn't need to cut any boards and so he wouldn't risk injuring himself with a saw." This was in 5th grade! I was ready to scream, "just shut up and do the math!!"
What I did was to switch math programs. We went to Math U See, but didn't use the videos, which give so many "creative approaches" to the basic skills. For some children, that might be wonderful, I'm not knocking MUS at all; it's just that I wanted pages that ONLY asked simple math facts and didn't tell too many stories because for this child the stories were a distraction. I did not ignore the practical applications of basic math, either, as we discussed and figured things out when those things presented themselves in real life. In that context, she was interested in solving the problem that she was confronting, so she did the math and didn't try to analyze Carlos's life.
SO, maybe a *less creative* approach would help her?
Just a thought.
Peace,
Nancy
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lapazfarm
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| Posted: Sept 15 2006 at 11:34am | IP Logged
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I think this is charming!
I agree with above ladies who said this is normal (though quite a bit on the leading edge of the bell curve, creativity wise!)and not to be discouraged. What a gift the Lord has given her to be so imaginative! I am sure He meant it to be used for great things!
However, I do not want to make light of your frustration, either. At age 5 there are times when you may want her to focus on a task, and though the occasional side trip may be fine, I could see how it could get frustrating if it happens EVERY time!LOL!
It may be as simple as presenting her with materials (like magnets, or counting bears, etc) ahead of the time you want to work with them, letting her imagination play out, and then when her games has run it's course, asking for her attention to task.
Another approach might be to model for her ahead of time how you would like her to do a task (like putting away laundry),overemphasizing the "speediness" aspect, and make it a game for her to see how well she can imitate you. Praise her efforts for doing it "quickly, just like Mommy!"
Hopefully you can focus some of that creative energy for good works!
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LaPaz Home Learning
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Philothea
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Marking this thread. My son is highly creative and we're debating whether to put him in part-time Montessori this spring. One concern I have is whether it's right to "force" him to use things "correctly," as is common in schools. I'm leaning toward keeping him home and developing my own "program" with out-of-the-home resources like art and music classes for social skills work (he's an only child). Compared to tuition, it'll actually come out cheaper even if I go crazy buying materials.
Anyway. Y'all are giving me food for thought. Carry on. 
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Willa
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| Posted: Sept 15 2006 at 2:00pm | IP Logged
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CathinCoffeland wrote:
| so now im torn. I dont want to shut down her creavity and imagination, but i do know it can be a problem, i spent much of my childhood locked away in mine and had trouble relating to people. I know that is not a problem for her she is a happy friendly little girl and has a stable home life that i lacked but still i can see it causing trouble with he ability to focus on chores and lessons. |
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I bet you put your finger on the difference there. Imagination was a coping device for you (as it was for me). But it is a wonderful quality in itself. It probably helped some of us survive things that would have been hard to survive otherwise!
Distraction is a slightly separate issue. There are ways to increase focus but at five they can be very simple -- read-alouds; conversations; imaginative play itself increases focus. Maturity helps a lot. I have a bunch of right-brained creative thinkers in my family and they all eventually matured to where they could even concentrate on math problems.
I know lots of people, including myself, who still make up stories around their chores in order to make them less disagreeable
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Willa
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Christine
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My seven-year-old, who has an incredible imagination, just found a kindred spirit in a book. For those of you who have imaginative children you might consider having them read Twig, by Elizabeth Orton Jones. My daughter said that this book would also make a good read-aloud. The dust jacket says that the book is recommended for children ages 6-12.
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saintanneshs
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| Posted: Sept 16 2006 at 9:56am | IP Logged
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What great advice everyone has given! 
My 5yo son is the same way. I can't keep track of all his "adventures" on the farm. Dh is always laughing at the 5yo's recollection of what has happened on the farm that day, as our imaginative little guy keeps us all entertained at the dinner table. My favorite is the one about Daddy jumping off the running 4-wheeler to wrestle bears ...(we don't even live in bear country!)
I think that what we interpret as not following single directions well (forget about multi-step directions), spending more time "playing" with everything from food to math manipulatives to scraps of trash, and having a tendency to stretch the truth when confronted about anything, is just our very creative children's way of interacting with the world at age 5 (or 6 or 7...). I'm no expert, but I have to think that they'll learn to harness that creativity and direct it more constructively (in our terms) one of these days, eventually. For now, I think they are directing it constructively. I just let my ds play with the manips. He walks around with a plastic clock with moveable hands in one hand, our button box in the other and a play cell phone in his shirt pocket (so he won't miss a call from Daddy).
A few things that I've found have worked to help this child focus (when I need him to)...
Clear the table (nothing to create with) when I work with him on something. He doesn't need the math manips anyway (he totally gets math without them-I'm blown away by his understanding...could this be from so much "play"???) and they only distract him (which is the opposite of his 6yo brother who NEEDS them from time to time).
Set a timer (nothing that takes more than 5 minutes if not right by mom's side). Ds likes to "beat the clock" at picking up the toys, putting his clothes in their drawers, etc.
Stick to one task at a time. Baby steps here...
Don't interrupt the creative play...the girls above are right. This is precious stuff. Go get a tape recorder or write this stuff down. For me, I figure I'll cherish it one day and wish I could hear it again.
Lastly, be thankful that these children can entertain themselves in a pediatrician's waiting room for hours with just the contents of your purse. I am!
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CathinCoffeland
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| Posted: Sept 16 2006 at 1:38pm | IP Logged
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Hey thanks everybody...you know i forget just how young 5 is sometimes. Its hard because she she has been so verbal for so long and uses such a grown up vocabulary and she reads so well that sometimes she seems older. i need to work on remembering she is still a little one that needs playtime and snuggles.
You are right there is a push for formal structured school early- two local private schoolw ill enroll 2.5 yrolds for half day and 5 yrolds for full day.
My biggest concern is that sometimes her play is very isolating from her brother and other kids. Though he is learning to get in her face and ask to get in on the action too. Thats usually when the dress ups get pulled out. She gets to narrate the tragic tale of the princess and the dragon while he waps things with the plastic sword.
Thanks Maggie
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Karen E.
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| Posted: Sept 17 2006 at 8:22am | IP Logged
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I agree with all the wonderful advice you've been given, and also agree that your daughter sounds delightful.
Five is so very young ... enjoy it!
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God bless,
Karen E.
mom to three on earth, and several souls in God's care
Visit my blog, with its shockingly clever title, "Karen Edmisten."
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: Too much imagination?
