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3ringcircus
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| Posted: Nov 27 2012 at 8:46am | IP Logged
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My G kind of flipped out yesterday and flat out refused to do work. He said he wants to go back "into my tummy". It's an existential kind of thing, where he's realizing that he's going to have to do this every day forever, and he'd rather just sit home and play video games  . In the end, he started a spelling program that he and I decided he'd be ready for in January just around dinner time. But, nothing else. He seems to have a block in all subjects right now, but mostly school as a whole. He mentioned something about losing momentum (in his own words).
He's a very sensitive kid. I'm not sure if the Civil War stuff he watched w/ DH hit him too hard. It talked about the pre-war causes and showed slaves, including children. We're doing a family trip to some battle sites in March, so this is what we wanted to study together. It could be just not wanting to get into the groove after vacation.
I ended up putting him outside for the morning while he wasted precious time (the other two are only in preschool for a couple of hours, and that's when the house is quiet). Later, I got him to do a little writing, although it was misery, and the spelling I mentioned. Thing is, I think we're barely, barely hanging on in school work as it is.
-Right Start math is pretty comprehensive, and we're lucky if we get in 4 lessons per. week. About 30% of the time, he takes forever to even get started with me.
-Looney Tunes Phonics. It's a legit. program, but he's starting to get discouraged after some initial passion.
-Aesop's Fables. Great for reading comprehension, but I'm having trouble getting to it. Less than a page each, though!
-Reading. We're doing some easy Suess, but again we're not being consistent.
-Piano. Anybody have hints on Suzuki practice? I want us to use this method, and I like the teacher, but our sessions have been getting too long, and we can't fit in multiple sessions per. day as she recommends. This is becoming a big time suck, and he's starting to flat-out balk.
-Noeo Science. I've stopped doing the notebook work, and just focussed on the reading and adding outdoor activities and watching MSB episodes. He love science, but I'm just adding it to the list and getting overwhelmed.
I know I could be freaking a little too early, but we need to have some good, productive weeks here. I get resentful when he wastes the quiet time we have together. Two days the other kids are in the house, and one day we have Catholic coop activities. There isn't a lot of wiggle room for him to shut down. I stayed pretty calm yesterday because I could sense that nagging and punishing wasn't going to get us anywhere. He knows there's no electronics if he doesn't get work done. We talked about how every single person he knows has to do work, including kids his age. I also mentioned how his age-mates are going to move to 2nd grade, and he will want to be at the same level as them (in response to keeping momentum, not just blowing off one day).
Any thoughts?
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Christine
Mom to my circus of boys: G-1/06, D-1/04, S-4/10
Started HS in Fall'12
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SeaStar
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| Posted: Nov 27 2012 at 11:52am | IP Logged
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I don't know if I can really help- but I know what you are experiencing.
My dd was in 1st last year, and we had some very productive times, and some not so. She was 7- that is so very young, which is hard for me to keep in mind. What seemed like not much work to me did not feel that way to her.
We went very slowly with RS math and took breaks form it- played lots of math board games. She just wasn't ready for some of the concepts being taught.
The things she liked we ran with, and she often had ideas about what she wanted to do or learn.
I think what *I* learned most last year was that kids have to be ready for what we teach them, and that I often have expectations that are too high for a 7 or 8 yo.
Really, at that age, an hour or so of school a day is enough. Plenty.
Do a little math, a little reading, play some games, write a little, read tons of good books to them- that's about all you need at this point.
I still struggle with the concept that less is more, and that responsibility and diligence can be learned from chores and family life just as much as from school.
My dd also takes piano lessons- she practices a few minutes a day during our school time, and then whenever she feels like it outside of school time. I don't force her to practice- I know that would have driven her off already. She enjoys it and has her own approach.
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
SQUILT Music Appreciation
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SallyT
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| Posted: Nov 27 2012 at 2:38pm | IP Logged
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Just some random thoughts, Christine, as I'm sitting here with kids working (so apologies in advance for what will certainly be randomness! Not to mention longwindedness! Be forewarned!):
I know that one thing I have to remind myself of, especially in the early-elementary years, is that one reason we chose to homeschool in the first place, all those years ago, was to avoid one-size-fits-all education, and to help our children to be interested enough in the world around them to want to learn about it.
Reminding myself of this helps me to avoid comparing my kids to their grade-level peers or even emphasizing grade level all that much in the course of our schoolwork, especially very early on. This gives us a certain amount of freedom and breathing room in terms of feeling pressure to keep up with what are, in reality, arbitrary and sometimes age-inappropriate school standards.
On the other hand, we do do state-mandated standardized tests yearly, so I have some investment in keeping us more or less on track. One thing I continually remember, however, is that especially in the early years kids tend to be all over the map in terms of their learning and development, and that while the test scores are useful in letting me know what we need to work on for the next year, they don't mean that much in the great scheme of things.
I don't take seriously what a first-grader "should" be doing in the same way that I take seriously what a fourth, or a sixth grader "should" be doing. By then things really ought to be coalescing as the child begins to prepare for the challenges of middle- and high-school work -- but what I have found with my own children is that things largely *do* coalesce dramatically beginning around third grade-ish. I didn't really expect a whole lot before then (which is good, because I think I would have despaired, utterly, of my now-third-grader's ever being able to remember the simplest math facts. Now she's whizzing through big subtractions with multiple regroupings, with every sign of being *really, really* good at math. Knock me over).
Before I continue, I should maybe say that my husband and I are pretty academically driven people -- he's a college professor, and I've also taught at both the high-school and college levels, as well as working as a writer, so we do seriously value education and the intellectual life. In real life, I'm not at all laissez-faire about what we accomplish in our homeschool, because I have seen how a strong foundation matters as a child progresses. I learned a lot from accompanying my headstrong and sensitive first child, day by day, from the fourth grade, when we began homeschooling, through high school, and I'm seeing how all kinds of things we did (and didn't do) have borne fruit in her college experience. When I look at what my youngest children are doing now, I do think about where it's going to lead, and what knock-on effects my decisions about their learning might have in the future.
All that to say that I'm really not coming from a place of being cavalier about the acquisition of early skills. I tend to get a little stressy about it all sometimes myself. BUT, here are my thoughts, for what they're worth, about a six-year-old boy and schoolwork:
1. When it's your oldest it's sometimes hard to see this, but six is young, especially for boys. Six-turning-seven is young. A *sensitive* six-turning-seven may be young in ways that another personality at the same age might not be.
Bear in mind that a great number of boys at this age are still in kindergarten, even in "regular" school. I didn't start my own younger son (now 10) in kindergarten "work" until after he was six, and I felt very reinforced in this decision by a similar decision by one of my cousins, who's a teacher herself, to hold both her quite-bright children back a year at the beginning.
This doesn't mean that a first-grader needs to go back to kindy, but it does mean that *you* don't necessarily need to feel pressured by the specter of second grade at this point. First, a lot may change in the second semester -- my kids have tended to learn in leaps and bounds rather than in a steady progression. Second, a lot of second grade is reviewing and extending what went on in first grade, so it's not as if this were the only chance you'll have to cover the ground you want to cover now, and you'll be "behind" if he doesn't master it now. So much of the early elementary years seems to me to be one step forward, two steps back, then at some point another really huge step forward . . .
2. At this early stage, what has always seemed truly valuable to me -- and it was what was valuable even with my fourth-grader at the start of our homeschooling -- as a priority for the homeschooling day, is a two-fold relational thing. First, family relationship is a priority. Then, the child's relationship with learning is folded into that nurturing of family relationship.
For us, kindy/first grade has looked a LOT like a lot of reading aloud on the couch, a lot of closeness, a lot of emphasis on learning through reading and experiencing things together, rather than my teaching and the child working. We did tiny amounts of basic math, but a good bit of play with manipulatives and games (one of my sons learned all his basic addition facts by playing Monopoly and rolling the dice). We did tiny amounts of phonics, five minutes here, five minutes there. We took as many field trips as we could. And I've always tried to make the house as much of a learning environment as possible, with as many imaginatively rich things to do as possible and as few of the distractions that I really didn't want as possible (I have deliberately "lost" all gaming devices which have come into our house, for instance, though I do keep a couple of game apps on my computer for use as treats).
But mostly at that stage we read aloud. When my now-almost-9- and 10-year-olds were five and six, the kindergarten teacher next door used to comment on their sophisticated vocabularies, their fund of knowledge, and their interest in things, and it wasn't because I was doing any very consistent teaching, let me tell you! We were just having fun with a variety of read-alouds, but what they absorbed was really kind of amazing, as I would realize as it emerged in their conversation.
As the kids have gotten older, gradually the ratio of our school day has shifted from an emphasis on "snuggly-on-the-couch-read-alouds" to more independent work. I am finding, too, with these younger two, that although at the end of last year they were "behind" in things like math computational skills, they're more than catching up this year -- it's as if they had never struggled for a second with basic addition or multiplication facts. Their minds just seem more ready to snap up the basics and move on to harder things. I really can't overemphasize the difference maturity makes -- six months, a year, two years -- in a child's ability even to be willing to learn in a structured way.
All of this is a long, rambling way of saying what Melinda has just said: truly, at this early stage, less is more. I would consider that there is very, very little which is worth a consistent fight and tears with a six-year-old. A bad day is one thing, but if a child's consistent mode is resistance, at this stage I think it's less about laziness or unwillingness to work as about the work's not meeting the child where he is, regardless of how grade-appropriate it may seem.
This isn't to say that you throw out the concept of "work" and its importance. First grade is a good time to emphasize things like chores and personal responsibility on a fairly simple, concrete level -- first and second-graders often love to be the "helper" (my second-grade First Communion students would fight over who gets to erase the board, blow out the prayer candles, put the colored pencils away, and carry the sign when the class processes out for dismissal if I didn't assign these jobs according to names on the roll).
There's plenty of opportunity in everyday life to teach character lessons about responsibility and duty, but I would detach academics from that completely. Let his "work" be making his bed, raking leaves, helping in the kitchen, etc; let learning be what you do for fun together.
Some concrete ideas for accomplishing goals without having schoolwork feel like schoolwork:
*Writing: try letter-writing to grandparents, neighbors, friends, whomever he cares about. At that age, I often have them dictate a short letter to me, which I write out for them to copy. Really short (like two sentences) is fine. Making lists is also good for this age -- a shopping list, a Christmas list, whatever. I do not expect *any* independent writing until the basic mechanics of penmanship become automatic enough for the child to be able to think about something else while he writes.
*Reading: if you can work in five minutes of phonics here and there, great. If he's already reading fairly fluently, or even beginning to read with any fluency, strew things that are of interest to him. This is a great way to "do" science: my boys at that age especially loved poring over things like National Geographic Kids and Usborne science books. They wanted the information, and that drove them to read. This, incidentally, was virtually all the science I remember doing with my now-9th-grader, who's making an A in a college biology class, so clearly it must have been enough at that stage . . . his own interests and drive to know about them did a lot of my work for me!
*Math: keep it simple. I know people love Right Start, but the best math program in the world is only as good as what you actually learn from it . . . If it's a struggle to do the "official" math program, use your time instead to play games or cook. Math read-alouds like Life of Fred cover a lot of territory, too; my kids love Fred. They also love basic workbooks. Apparently I'm only allowed to "teach" by reading to them; otherwise they just want to get on with things themselves.
I would use your time when the others are in preschool to focus on these areas with this child, and to read aloud just to him. This is a time when you can read big-kid books and do big-kid things together that the little guys would disrupt -- rather than emphasizing that it's work that he has to do, emphasize that this is your time together, and that you're going to do things that you enjoy together. Maybe you write a letter when he does, and you make a field trip of going to the post office to mail your letters together.
Meanwhile, I would totally ditch things like spelling. I'd continue reading Aesop, Dr. Seuss, and other good literature for enjoyment first, maybe talking about the stories casually over lunch, rather than asking for formal narration or worrying about comprehension. In the area of music lessons, I would also not push the Suzuki method full-on if he's balking -- the teacher may want multiple practices a day, but if it's not happening, it's just not happening. My oldest daughter is a violinist, and let's just say we have been around the block with various teachers and methods . . . she was rather emphatically NOT a Suzuki student, as we had to learn by hard experience. As with math programs, any learning philosophy is only as good as your child's experience with it . . .
OK, I'm sorry, this is way too long. I started writing it this morning, with one child doing math at my elbow, who didn't want me interfering; now we've gone through our whole day of table work and our basket of reading, and now the youngers are doing dishes and baking cookies, and I just keep thinking of things to say . . . Argh.
But all I wanted to say, really, was please don't worry too much. He will mature in ways that will amaze you. Meanwhile, relax and enjoy the time you have together now.
With prayers, because I hate getting stuck in that resistance rut, too,
Sally
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mamaslearning
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| Posted: Nov 27 2012 at 3:48pm | IP Logged
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Thank you Sally for your wonderful insight (even though it wasn't meant for me  )! My oldest is third grade and my next child is first (the other two are 4yo and 2yo), so I can see the changes you are speaking about - by third things begin to gel a bit. Having already been through first recently, this time around I'm much more relaxed (I do still stress a bit now and then, but not nearly as much as I did with my first). My now first grader is a boy and if I get at least two subjects done a day I'm happy. Typically it's reading a bit from Hooked on Phonics (maybe one or two lines, or a short LSLF storybook) and some math. He will usually sit and color while I do some read aloud books, or maybe he'll join in with his sister as we do some State worksheets (flags, birds, etc.).
I do see that my boy is a late bloomer when it comes to reading, where my daughter (the oldest) was reading in Kindergarten. We do not have to take state tests, so I can be a bit looser on how we approach each year, but I figure the first three years are about the basics - reading, handwriting (basic letter formations), basic math (with lots of games and everyday life type math), basic US History (love the What Your 1st Grader Needs to Know series), nature awareness through outside time, nature books, zoo visits, etc., and faith formation. Oh, and habit formation - putting toys away, morning routines, etc. I've given myself three years to get those basics completed because I figure that the scholarly schoolwork starts for us in the 4th grade. Plus, I read somewhere that by fourth grade most kids level out onto the same reading level and you can't really tell those that started to read early versus those that took a few years to ramp up.
My oldest, 9 years old, is taking piano and she practices everyday, but for maybe 10-20 minutes. She takes lessons once a week for 1/2 hour. Sounds like a lot of practice everyday for that method, but I'm not familiar with the method.
Maybe he misses his brothers while they are gone?
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Lara
DD 11, DS 8, DS 6, DS 4
St. Francis de Sales Homeschool
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3ringcircus
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| Posted: Nov 27 2012 at 4:38pm | IP Logged
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So, it seems like some HS families have 1st graders who get a lot of short assignments done, and some don't? I think G would likely get one or two long assignments done instead of 6-7 short ones (because every short one becomes long in the end). By "assignments", I mostly mean working w/ Mom directly. He only does phonics on the computer by himself, and with the exception of right now, he's been loving it. I guess I could make both that and spelling optional, instead of trying to work it into a schedule.
I think I'm balking a little because I know that if we are to move to a more, "unschooly" structure, I'm going to have to minimize electronics even more than I do now. They turn his brain to jelly, and he's either going to finish my list and use a gadget, or he's going to be surrounded by things that don't overstimulate and start getting that brain going. All games & TV we have are "educational", and limited at that, but it still has an effect. Which means I have even more time w/ active boys around the house...
I can fit in more read-alouds. The science is mostly just that anyway.
Maybe it's time to get LoF? I wanted to do it anyway, but RS got such rave reviews. Maybe just use the RS games for now?
Letter writing is on my list of things to do for penmanship! Once a week has been my plan.
Thanks so much for your thoughtful replies, all of you. It really gives a lot of food for thought. I'd be happy to read more if anyone else has something to add.
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Christine
Mom to my circus of boys: G-1/06, D-1/04, S-4/10
Started HS in Fall'12
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mamaslearning
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| Posted: Nov 27 2012 at 4:47pm | IP Logged
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What kind of electronics does he use?
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Lara
DD 11, DS 8, DS 6, DS 4
St. Francis de Sales Homeschool
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3ringcircus
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| Posted: Nov 27 2012 at 5:26pm | IP Logged
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We have Leapster Explorers & many of the cartridges (w/ more on the way for Christmas & birthdays). He gets 1hr. per. school day during TV time if he cooperates and completes school work. On weekends I relax restriction unless he's at it for hours on end.
For TV, they watch educational/non-fiction on school days in the afternoon and occasionally in the early AM. G's fav. is Storm Chasers, D's fav. is How it's Made. When S is finished w/ his nap, he occasionally gets to watch Mighty Machines or similar or Signing Time. They also like Magic School Bus and will watch science-themed documentaries that are geared toward adults. Sometimes we don't turn the TV on at all, and they play happily, but most days they are watching something. On weekends, they are allowed to watch age-appropriate fiction.
He plays Math Blaster on my ipad.
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Christine
Mom to my circus of boys: G-1/06, D-1/04, S-4/10
Started HS in Fall'12
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CSBasile
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| Posted: Nov 27 2012 at 7:09pm | IP Logged
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I think the hardest thing is trying not to stress about what they "should" be doing and/or comparing them to what a public or private school student might be doing in the same grade. I have to remind myself over and over again that if I provide the right environment and encouragement, my daughter will learn when her mind is ready to learn it. As long as she isn't burnt out from me pushing her too hard. I struggle with this. First grade is still really young, and I agree with the other posters who said that they noticed a gradual change around third grade. That's been true for both of my kids. Maybe you could just make things a bit lighter during Advent to give him a break. 'Lots of reading good holiday books, (you to him), maybe doing some of the fun holiday-themed phonics and math worksheets you can find for free on the internet. Maybe just doing alot of hands on things...even things like playing with playdoh or building with Legos. Let him stretch his imagination and creativity. I sometimes feel that kids are so cheated today, since they are forced to start doing academics so early.
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SallyT
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| Posted: Nov 27 2012 at 8:34pm | IP Logged
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I don't know that you *have* to get rid of all electronics necessarily, though I certainly see in my own younger son that minimizing them is a good idea -- my older son learned to detach from them fairly quickly, but Ben, at 10, still goes all googly, and he can. not. back. away.
It's the Gameboys that had come into our house that I've deep-sixed, incidentally, not educational media. I do have some educational apps on my Macbook, and I actually work some of them into our school day. We like the Schoolzone Math software, for example -- I think their Math 1-2 might have been virtually all my older son did for math in kindergarten and first grade, via a CD that came with a workbook that we bought long ago. I'm sure the "Bean Counter" game on that CD is how he learned place value -- I bought the app not too long ago, and my youngers play it now by way of review.
Typically I let them have "app time" after they've done their table work, but I have been okay with calling half an hour of playing a math game a math lesson. We also do German via a vocabulary app, as well as watching a German kids' show called "Anna, Schmidt & Oskar" (recommended by Eva/pmeilaen on this list!). We don't have a tv, but do make judicious use of YouTube and other online video outlets, generally when I've planned to work them into our day as part of a lesson. Generally, my kids can sometimes earn game time (we have one Star Wars game on the computer, which is pure entertainment) by doing extra chores, but I find that it's better not to use them as rewards for schoolwork. Even the learning app time isn't couched as a reward -- "you do this and then I'll let you do that" -- but as more practice, with my having a say in what they do. It's variety in learning, not a break from or a reward for work.
The educational software is useful in that I can have one child quietly occupied while I'm helping another. And on the occasional days when we're really on the fly, we can take the computer with us (an ipad would be handy!) and feel that we've covered some bases, at any rate. I don't rely on things like this for all our learning, though years ago, when we were new homeschoolers, and I had a manic toddler and a brand-new baby, as well as the two school-aged kids, I was a lot more willing to rely on them. I think of things like that as in a different category from just plain ol' video games, which I do ration in a miserly way. And again, stuff like that was how my older son learned a lot of basic skills. He thought he was just playing . . .
I think that being unschool-ish *can* mean that you figure out how a wide variety of resources can work for you, as tools for self-teaching. Maybe moving some of the educational software into play as actual teaching tools, and breaking the reward/punishment dynamic surrounding them would make some difference . . . I don't know. It could defuse the situation, or it could worsen it if the electronics hype him up too much. You know your child. But I have to admit that I have been kind of amazed sometimes at what my kids have taught themselves via things like that when I wasn't paying that close attention.
Sally
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SallyT
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OK, quickly, and then I'll shut up:
True confession time. You want to know what really stresses me out? My two older children (daughter 18/college sophomore; son/15/9th grade) have turned out really well. So far, anyway. They're smart, nice, hardworking, high-achieving kids . . . and I can work myself into a panic trying to remember what I did that made them turn out that way (like there's a magic formula, right?), so that the younger kids will turn out that way, too, and not be nightmares. So, having learned so much from our years of homeschooling, and being determined not to make mistakes this time around, I'm all intentional and serious, ONLY high-quality learning experiences allowed . . . and then I remember that Joel, at 6, played Schoolzone Math 1-2 and Funbrain.com, and I don't really know what else we did, other than read The Wheel on the School, mummify a Barbie doll, and have a Greek lunch once. Oh, and play Monopoly at night.
So maybe I should relax, too, because even my memory of what my own children have done is really suspect. In any event, I shouldn't be comparing them, or telling myself that if only I followed the directions better . . .
Sally
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Maria B.
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Sally, your last post made my day. That's what we need to do, relax and trust. These are the hardest things about homeschooling for me. Thank you for reminding me
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Maria in VA
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3ringcircus
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I appreciate the input about electronics. His phonics (and now spelling) is on the computer. Both programs are hard-core curricula but he goes the extra mile. They are much calmer than the traditional video game, so I'm considering giving him unlimited access.
The other games tend to make him grouchy and aggressive when it's time to turn them off. Even if we agree on a set time, he seems a bit manic. IDK, I noticed that the other two DSs are happy to play, even though they enjoy TV, etc. G, OTOH, gets into these ruts where he doesn't seem to know what to do w/ free time if he can't turn something on. I told him today that if he wants to have a more free day and pursue learning on his own, then he'll forgo electronic time except for weekends. I don't think he can sustain that natural curiosity when his brain is hijacked by his games & endless Storm Chasers episodes, KWIM?
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Christine
Mom to my circus of boys: G-1/06, D-1/04, S-4/10
Started HS in Fall'12
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AmandaV
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Christine,
I have a child who has always had trouble turning off media, and also was more grumpy when in the habit of watching a few shows in the morning when he was about 3-4. For a while we went no-media. There's a lot of good programing, web sites, etc. but if that child cannot handle it they may not be good for him. My other little boys have had some issues with turning off tv shows but its never quite been the same. Even so, we do go through "cleansing" times where I sort of shut down all media. though we don't as a whole watch a ton, anyway. My oldest ds now can use the ipad to read and he doesn't have a fit when its time to turn it in, or to turn off the tv now. BUT, we are about to get rid of satellite tv and use some streaming services and he did seem pretty bummed when I first told him. Which to me means he's still putting way too much stock in it. So some kids can deal with more media than others, I think. Even good shows, sitting there, watching them regularly, can turn some kids into a different person. Just my experience.
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Amanda
wife since 6/03, Mom to son 7/04, daughter 2/06, twin sons 6/08 and son 7/11, son 1/2014
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Mackfam
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| Posted: Nov 28 2012 at 10:58am | IP Logged
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I'm going to repeat some of the things that have already been mentioned because it really does bear repeating.
Your son is doing great, Christine! And you're off to a good start in spite of the angst you're feeling! When we feel angst in home education, or we're unsettled, it is generally an invitation to: (1) relax, (2) be content and stop unhealthy comparisons, or (3) to exercise self-discipline. Brainstorming solutions almost always means stretching out of what we perceive may be a comfort zone. My goal in offering observations isn't to make you more uncomfortable in suggesting a little stretching, but rather to offer a direct-ness because I'm trying to be succinct for you......and also to invite you to relax into your own shoes, which is a great place to be as a home educator!
** G is 6 yo. That is very, very young for ANY formal academics. Melinda is right - 45 min - 1 hour is PLENTY for this age. And there is no rule that says that you have to sit down, at a desk, for an entire 45 min! Do a little morning work and a little afternoon work and call it a great day!
** If, and only if, G has shown an interest in learning to read, offer short reading lessons. Short. 10 minutes. Done.
** If G has no real interest in learning to read, then wait. He WILL learn to read - each child does this on their own timeline, and often boys are ready much later than girls. If you push here, G could really end up resisting a natural enjoyment of reading which follows him through the years because it will be a chore, mandated...rather than an avenue to ideas which is eagerly followed. No matter when a child learns to read, reading ability ALWAYS levels out by around 4th grade.
** The formal academics WILL HAPPEN, and no matter when G learns to read, starts writing, etc, what you WILL need in a couple of years is for G to have cultivated some great habits that will yield fruit in years to come. Make a list of good habits you'd like G to have in 2 years, 4 years, 8 years. Things like right away obedience, truthfulness, orderliness, being attentive, etc. Focus on those right now through simple chores and habit building and I PROMISE you that you will not regret it in a few years!
** Drop spelling. Entirely. A 6 yo/1st grader doesn't need a spelling program. They need to develop their imagination through rich literature (lots of reading) and lots of play/exploration experiences. If you did not do a single formal spelling program until 4th grade, his spelling would be fine!
** Relax math. If you and your son enjoy sitting down with RS math 4x a week, that's fantastic...and PLENTY. If you don't get it in some days, fine!!!!!
** Read. Read. Read. Focus on reading together. Simple goal: read 2 picture books and one great read aloud daily. Keep Aesop's Fables in your lineup! If you're really doing great, bump that to 3 - 4 picture books and 1 read aloud (chapter book like Charlotte's Web or Little House on the Prairie). Need ideas? List of the Good Books
** Curtail screen time. Dramatically. Boys (all children) are naturally inquisitive and this natural curiosity is quickly deadened by screen time - take the opportunity to widen his imagination by providing open ended tactile (hands on) opportunities for exploration. A habit of excessive screen time yields kids who develop the habit of expecting to be entertained - whether through their curriculum or their play.
** Get him outside. No matter the weather conditions. Outside time - daily. No agenda. No play dates. Let him get dirty, let him wear out holes in the knees of his pants, let him build with sticks, rocks, divert water rivulets into streams. Help him notice the wonders of the outdoors - start a list of all the birds that frequent your yard/gardens. Notice bugs. Read about the things you observe.
** Don't be afraid of the idea of "unschooling" at this age. Really!!! I think Sally made a great point that unschooling really fosters a developing sense of (unique, sometimes unexpected) tools that can nurture learning opportunities for a child, and setting them about. It means opening eyes to learning from such a variety of different angles and methods, and both the process and the journey can be quite rich and rewarding! It really stretches us and opens us (mom) to learning tools in good ways! The child invites learning - he's actively inviting it!! This is very different from so much structure at such an early age that the child feels mandated into experiences of performance that he may or may not be ready for, developmentally speaking.
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So...my list of a 1st grade experience looks a little like this:
** Reading time: 2 - 4 picture books a day and 1 read aloud time from a chapter book/daily.
** Phonics work: only if G is interested.
** Math: relaxed and very short formal lessons (10 - 15 min) - continue with RS if that works. If not, relax and work on basic skills like adding, subtracting, comparing, enjoying math relationships to things - none of which require ANY kind of formal curriculum for a 1st grader.
** Religion: I make this a separate subject, but for us, it's just a part of our reading time. I choose a good book to read from. Read from the liturgical year. Read from the Treasure Box series. There are more good ideas for this age on this thread.
** Writing: Simple copywork. 5 - 10 minutes/daily. Copy seasonal poems, names and addresses, prayers. The limit is the time - no more than 10 minutes, regardless of how much is done and on the page...otherwise --> burnout, angst, meltdown, whining, loathing of writing (which lasts and lasts).
** Outdoor time: daily.
** Plenty of unstructured play time with no screens: every day with access to toys that are open-ended: Legos, K'Nex, Wooden Blocks, dress up stuff, space/army toys, etc.
** Focus on building good habits: which will yield enormous dividends down the road!
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What a blessing it is to home educate, to have the flexibility to relax into our own shoes, and the wonders of the world and all of the outdoors at our feet! Good luck to you in this delightful journey, Christine! This is an eye-opening time as you relax into yourself as a home educator! Don't allow yourself to feel angst, rather view it as an invitation to grow!
__________________
Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19 , ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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anitamarie
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Joined: Oct 15 2008
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| Posted: Nov 28 2012 at 10:05pm | IP Logged
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You have received such great advice, I hardly have the gut to add anything.
This is totally in a different direction, but how many days did you take off for Thanksgiving? We always have a bit of resistance to returning to schoolwork after a break. (Who am I kidding, after a weekend!) I once threatened one of my children with schoolwork 365 days a year because he resists so much just getting back to business on a Monday or after even the shortest break. 
I have found I just have to be prepared for it. I have 2 ways of dealing with it. One, (the nice mommy way) have a lighter schedule or something special/out-of-the ordinary the first day back from a break. Two, (the not-so-nice mommy way) just put my foot down and keep insisting on the work that has been scheduled being done.(This way is a lot more stressful for me because I basically have to say no to every request other than basic needs until this particular child responds with work.)
It may just have been that he enjoyed having lots of free time. I have one wonderful, fun, delightful ds who very much lives in the moment who is this way. He would prefer if life were one big party. I have to work a little harder with him to get him to do what is required. So breaks for him are so fun, but it's so hard for him to readjust to life in the real world where we have to work. Which, if he wants to eat and have shelter, he will have to do in the future.
All that to say, breaks can be hard to recover from, even if they are fun while they last.
God Bless,
Anita
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4Real Forums : Living Learning
Topic: 1st Grade Angst
